Should we convert to our parteners religion?

[shy_lovegirl[Quest10]]

Hello everyone,

i know religion is a touchy subject, but my question is in no way meant to upset.

I would say having a satisfying Relationship is hard, to have one where religion, chemistry and BDSM are mixed can be more the one can hope at times.
Finding the right partener is hard, expectations are higher and higher, so if you found the One, to which lenghs are you wiling to go?

How is religion dealt with in your dynamic. Did you change your religion for that of your partener?
Was it asked of you? Or was your belief something so personal that is was not even a subject of discussion.
If you both have keep your religion, how are holidays for you?
Did your beliefs come against his/ hers?How did you handle it?

[Thorne]

I think that, if religion is going to play an important role in your relationship, it's doomed from the start. Even if you both profess the same religion, chances are pretty good that your actual beliefs will differ in some ways, if not in most ways. If either one of you is going to insist on your partner believing the same thing then I doubt any relationship can be stable.

However, it is possible to keep religion out of the relationship, except as a side issue. If your partner wants to attend services, let him/her. If you want to attend different services, why not? Or, as in my case, not attend at all.

My wife and I were both non-practicing Roman Catholics, and we have not attended a Mass together since we were married. She occasionally goes, but not very often. I have become an atheist. Yet we stay together, in love, because the other person's religion doesn't mean a damned thing to either of us. She doesn't ask me to go to church, and I don't ask her to give it up. She wants to decorate the house for Xmas, so I let her. I don't help, except to bring things in from the garage. And take them back when she's done. Religion has no meaningful place in our house.

I think a mixed marriage can work, as long as neither person is placing their religion above everything else.

[~ willow ~]

My parents were of different religious backgrounds. My father Muslim, my mother Christian, neither are devout and neither imposed either belief system onto me or my siblings. Their relationship didn't last the distance but that had nothing to do with their religion. I personally consider myself spiritual but not religious, but can't imagine 'converting' or having a partners religion imposed on me. I just don't think I would be drawn to someone that wasn't open minded enough to be at peace with my having my own beliefs.

[gkp00co]

I'm agnostic and my wife is nominally Catholic. Religion has never gotten in the way of anything here. We both respect each other's houses of worship; when she wants to go to Mass, I go with her; when I go to Fry's Electronics she comes with me.
Seriously, we rarely attend Mass except when she feels troubled. I wouldn't dream of not being with her when she's like that, despite feeling a tad out-of-place amid the Faithful. Personally, I find Churches to be very peaceful, serene places, a welcome pause from the hectic world, and we both always leave feeling better.

[Thorne]

One other thing that has occurred to me. If your religious beliefs are so flimsy that you can switch from one to another at the drop of a hat, what's the point? It's one thing to switch churches within the same religion, and I suppose I could see switching between different forms of of a religion, but what about different religions altogether? Would you convert from, say Baptist to Judaism? Or from Mormon to Wiccan? And what if your partner is an atheist? Would you give it up altogether?

You've got to be yourself, I think. If your partner can't love you for who you are, it's not worth even trying.

[rocco]

I'm rather religious myself and have a belief in a higher power, although my wife is atheist. We did actually discuss this point when we first went out together, rather amicably actually! However, we've never really allowed our political views or beliefs as such to interfere with our marriage. Its always been a personal thing, so that's how we keep it. And so far its worked wonders.

[thir]

I was lucky enough to find someone who has the same views as I. I would not dream of converting to anything, how could anyone? If you wanted religion, and that religion, would you not already have it?

I would hope for someone thinking as I do, or someone tolerant.

[newandnotsure]

Me and my bf are of completely opposite religions. He's a Christian where as I'm a Pagan. At first it was a bit rocky for us, with him thinking I was going to hell. It ended with me telling him. Just he started thinking about it and the fact he had no right to condemn me. Religion plays no part in our life other than when it comes to holidays with the family. His family is religious where as on my mom's side not so much. When it comes to holidays and Sabbaths, I celebrate Sabbaths on my own or with a few friends (mostly just one). I celebrate Christian holidays with everyone else. I have certain rules that must be respected by all others including my bf when it comes to my faith, but he understands and doesn't cross those boundaries. Other than that, our faith has nothing to do how we are as a couple and plays no major part. The only major part it would play is if we were to get married then it would include both our religions or no one's. That's something we both agree on fully. He's a non-practicing Christian.

[jinx]

I was in a relationship with a woman a few years ago, and while we meshed quite well on many levels, religion wasn't one of them. I absolutely respect anyone's right to believe in anything they want, provided that belief doesn't make them act against the rights and freedoms of others. However, with her, she was very ... very into her thing, and pressured me to be as well.

It was the only reason things didn't work out between us, but it was a big factor. I think that, even with someone I was madly, mentally, gibberingly in love with; if they demanded I believe as they do, it'd be better to just be on my own.

[Mrs-Sett {Kuve}]

I think a person should be true to themselves, albeit another’s religious beliefs may differ somewhat to your own. Should that matter?, I don’t think so, as long as all parties within the relationship are aware of each other’s thoughts and understand, and/or respect this accordingly.

I do however, think it is inappropriate to direct another ‘doctrine’ as such to another, unless they wish to go this route. Hence conflict of interest can and I am sure would occur, now or surely later?

I, for one, personally am myself, hence I retain my thoughts and beliefs and totally accept others, without concern.

So no, would not change me nor expect another.

Sett

[leo9]

One other thing that has occurred to me. If your religious beliefs are so flimsy that you can switch from one to another at the drop of a hat, what's the point? It's one thing to switch churches within the same religion, and I suppose I could see switching between different forms of of a religion, but what about different religions altogether? Would you convert from, say Baptist to Judaism? Or from Mormon to Wiccan? And what if your partner is an atheist? Would you give it up altogether?

You've got to be yourself, I think. If your partner can't love you for who you are, it's not worth even trying.

That was actually my first thought. On the one hand, if you can convert just to make your partner happy, your religion can't have mattered that much to you. On the other, if it does matter a lot to you, but you convert anyway, the relationship is probably doomed if it costs you so dear.