From Vanilla to BDSM

[Sharkiphoon]

I was drawn to this lifestyle because of a sense of unfulfillment that started with my first relationship of six years. It was tumultuous, and looking back my own tendencies could very easily elevate with BDSM. Ever since I've been looking for someone to submit to half as much; actually, someone who can handle complete authority. I've recently reconnected with a more recent ex, who has had an interest in the lifestyle, but with me "just never came up." It would have changed everything. I felt he was holding something back all along, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Life hasn't made more sense with anyone else, and this BDSM dynamic has struck a "Eureka!" moment. Yet created so many more questions. Such as why not with me? His personality is perfectly suited to this lifestyle. Maybe he felt he wasn't in a position to assume complete authority. Regardless of whether he knew it or not, more than anyone else, he did. And I think he wants to.

I suppose I identify as a Switch given my ultimate desire is to submit, but those I've had related conversations with would suggest the exact opposite. Similar experiences transitioning to the lifestyle? Advice?

[shy_lovegirl[Quest10]]

Well, i started to get interested in BDSM, i had a vague ideea what this was, while browsing sites i have found my actual Master, he opened my eyes, guided me and collared me. I would say if you have someone in the lifestyle as your partener or future partener, you rely on his judgement( of course, once you know he is not a crazy fuck that will do some ireprerable damage).
If you want to enter with someone in this lifestyle, it becomes a journey of discovery for both. I have not understood from your post if this person is already in the lifestyle.
My advice would be not to rush, there is such a big palette of things to discover, just take your time and enjoy!

[shy_lovegirl[Quest10]]

:cool-new:Well, i started to get interested in BDSM, i had a vague ideea what this was, while browsing sites i have found my actual Master, he opened my eyes, guided me and collared me. I would say if you have someone in the lifestyle as your partener or future partener, you rely on his judgement( of course, once you know he is not a crazy fuck that will do some ireprerable damage).
If you want to enter with someone in this lifestyle, it becomes a journey of discovery for both. I have not understood from your post if this person is already in the lifestyle.
My advice would be not to rush, there is such a big palette of things to discover, just take your time and enjoy!

[Mrs-Sett {Kuve}]

I became interested in BDSM after reading a rather cliché book, I found that there were aspects that intrigued me so I began to seek more information. There was a plethora of information available on the internet and within the book stores. Some of the information I found was interesting, sensual, loving yet frequently conflicting with other sites that gave scary details of abusive relationships, pain and neglect.

Firstly, where did my personae fit into this, Domme, Submissive, Switch...? I deliberated the definitions, after all what was I seeking. My natural inclination is that I am a very strong minded woman, of this I was assured. To be submissive did not feel as though this was part of me, something that would be alien almost. Yet Domme did not feel as this was whole of me, a dilemma, yes, very much so. I began to consider the term switch and personally it felt right for me. I feel dominant to some, yet submissive to others. It’s a feeling, not a conscious decision, for me, remember I can only speak personally of myself.

I was fortunate that my Sensei, noticed me, he guided me to accept myself for who I am. I am submissive to him alone. When he takes me to places I could only ever dream of, wonderful exciting places, I go willingly. Initially we conversed/played on line only, then as time evolved it supported the need to explore these delights in real time.

Real time was different, I would be dishonest if I didn’t say I was nervous, but not afeared but with many questions within me. This is where honesty, trust and above all a good level of communication came into its own. He listened to me, he waited, he encouraged and supported me to understand what was happening to my body and to my mind. The pleasure I felt was beyond expectations, the love and care taken reaped its own reward. It took time patience and understanding.

My advice is as others also determine, avoid labels, do feel when it’s right, when it’s safe and consensual to enjoy the sharing of pleasure. One iota of doubt do not explore further. Trust is paramount, when you are bound, ravished, flogged or whatever you wish to enjoy, you need to know your partner is there for you. It really is a journey of discovery, mutual discovery as I also don’t think anyone ever stops learning, we are all different after all.

Be happy, don’t rush, enjoy and overall be safe.

Kind regards Sett.

[Mrs-Sett {Kuve}]

I became interested in BDSM after reading a rather cliché book, I found that there were aspects that intrigued me so I began to seek more information. There was a plethora of information available on the internet and within the book stores. Some of the information I found was interesting, sensual, loving yet frequently conflicting with other sites that gave scary details of abusive relationships, pain and neglect.

Firstly, where did my personae fit into this, Domme, Submissive, Switch...? I deliberated the definitions, after all what was I seeking. My natural inclination is that I am a very strong minded woman, of this I was assured. To be submissive did not feel as though this was part of me, something that would be alien almost. Yet Domme did not feel as this was whole of me, a dilemma, yes, very much so. I began to consider the term switch and personally it felt right for me. I feel dominant to some, yet submissive to others. It’s a feeling, not a conscious decision, for me, remember I can only speak personally of myself.

I was fortunate that my Sensei, noticed me, he guided me to accept myself for who I am. I am submissive to him alone. When he takes me to places I could only ever dream of, wonderful exciting places, I go willingly. Initially we conversed/played on line only, then as time evolved it supported the need to explore these delights in real time.

Real time was different, I would be dishonest if I didn’t say I was nervous, but not afeared but with many questions within me. This is where honesty, trust and above all a good level of communication came into its own. He listened to me, he waited, he encouraged and supported me to understand what was happening to my body and to my mind. The pleasure I felt was beyond expectations, the love and care taken reaped its own reward. It took time patience and understanding.

My advice is as others also determine, avoid labels, do feel when it’s right, when it’s safe and consensual to enjoy the sharing of pleasure. One iota of doubt do not explore further. Trust is paramount, when you are bound, ravished, flogged or whatever you wish to enjoy, you need to know your partner is there for you. It really is a journey of discovery, mutual discovery as I also don’t think anyone ever stops learning, we are all different after all.

Be happy, don’t rush, enjoy and overall be safe.

Kind regards Sett.

[angelic.zest]

I became familiar with this lifestyle after chatting with a member who use to read the stories on here. Back then I didn't realize it was a lifestyle I just thought it was a way of having eccentric sexual acts. LOL However now I have a better understanding of what this lifestyle is about and all of the roles that are associated with it. I am ever evolving and I credit that to this website and other sites just like it! Also to my pursue of learning about myself and my sexuality!!

[DarkGhost]

There is a never ending road of learning and sometimes its so hard to find a partner or guidance in the BDSM world
i should and will always credit all the stories that i read, experiences other share and recently the path of learning
that you can find in this website

[DarkGhost]

There is a never ending road of learning and sometimes its so hard to find a partner or guidance in the BDSM world
i should and will always credit all the stories that i read, experiences other share and recently the path of learning
that you can find in this website