seamedblackstockings
08-18-2013, 02:18 PM
Our next discussion will be held Friday, 23th of August at 9:00 pm EST ~ Saturday, 24th of August 0200 GMT hosted by Miss-Sett
Topic: Things that should be considered before becoming D/s? The nature of both Dom/me and sub's needs and how to go about understanding then adapting to those needs
Thank you Aall for attending our first meet and for those that could not make it be sure to catch this one
Anyone wishing to suggest a topic, please reply to this thread ~ we welcome ALL suggestions and participation
We will meet in the chat room lobby and then move to a discussion room
See you there!
seamedblackstockings
08-25-2013, 12:54 PM
Summary of discussion 23rd August 2013
The base of any solid relationship commences with friendship foremost as it is essential, without this you have little hope of building any kind of healthy or lasting dynamic exchange. If things do not progress further, ultimately you are left with a friend. An expectation or guarantee of outcome prior to this cannot be successful as there are little guarantees that are infallible of future compatibility.
How to go about this was discussed at length, some found the initial greeting to be difficult from a swift hello to a further conversation. An element of risk seems to be involved as rejection can be difficult for many to accept, albeit purposeful or in error it can occur. Courtesy and consideration for another is seen as an important first step to open dialogue. This is not dependant of the actual meeting place as it occurs both o/l and/or in r/l and varies per individual and personal levels of confidence.
Inner understanding of one’s self expectations were also deemed to be a key factor, if your own wishes or desires are unclear then it would be hard to seek or find these within another person. However, a relationship should be symbiotic with everyone's needs considered, understood, and agreed upon.
A type of mental or actual check list of ‘desirables’ a good starting point but not exhaustive as each relationship grows and develops. Each person is different and the interaction within continued communication, further trust develops. This pace is as determined by the parties involved.
How this is achieved varies per person, some who commented prefer a subs view point and further discuss this through, others preferred to determine what is expected. Neither view point was deemed wrong nor right, merely an individual opinion. What was evident was that this should be fully disclosed at the start of the (any) relationship, so that all parties involved understood what was required.
However the actual importance and participation of both parties and their needs were not really covered through this discussion, a focus was portrayed towards the requirements of Dom/me. I consider that perhaps a further discussion regarding the interactive role of the sub would be required to balance and understand the d/s dynamic, so perhaps for a further discussion topic. As communication, honesty is required between both Dom/me and sub to maintain the quality of the relationship, surely.
Miss Sett {Kuve} and Miss Red