Discussion Group ~ August 30 9pm EST/August 31 0200 GMT

[seamedblackstockings]

Our next discussion will be held Friday, 30th of August at 9:00 pm EST ~ Saturday 31st of August 0200 GMT hosted by Miss-Sett

Topic: is the ‘collar’ the meaning for Dom/me or sub. At what point is it considered, is there a protocol time or is it personal choice only? When and where it should be worn? The types of collars, r/l and o/l collars.

We will meet in the chat room lobby and then move to a discussion room.

Anyone wishing to suggest a topic, please reply to this thread ~ we welcome all suggestions and participation.

See you there!!

Rules of discussion
1. No meeting/greeting each other after the discussion has started, period.
2. Serious replies please, with respect afforded to each other.
3. This is a discussion room, if people wish to chat or play, please return to the lobby.
4. No disrespectful language will be tolerated at all, nor will detrimental comments, each participant has an opinion. There are others present that wish to learn.

[seamedblackstockings]

~pokes this one to get it back on top~

[jinx]

Ooh, sounds right some bit of wicked! I'd love to join in on it ... if I can manage to get my stupid arse sleeping schedule pushed back around to something a normal human being would recognize. It's a great topic, and I wish to bore many people with my idjit opinions on it! hehe.

To sum up, I shall be there if I can!

As a suggestion for another topic: how about one that came up in a post made by Domme84 in the Dominants Dungeon? The problem of using effective punishment for bad behaviour by a sub, and the fact that many subs enjoy the same kind of things as a reward (spankings for example). This can set up a system where someone is effectively rewarded for bad behaviour, making them more likely to act that way just to get the attention they want. And the inverse problem of well behaved subs not getting that kind of attention, effectively punishing them for being good.

[Mrs-Sett {Kuve}]

As a suggestion for another topic: how about one that came up in a post made by Domme84 in the Dominants Dungeon? The problem of using effective punishment for bad behaviour by a sub, and the fact that many subs enjoy the same kind of things as a reward (spankings for example). This can set up a system where someone is effectively rewarded for bad behaviour, making them more likely to act that way just to get the attention they want. And the inverse problem of well behaved subs not getting that kind of attention, effectively punishing them for being good.

Valid point, as 'bratting' as I understand it, gains attention, that is not desirable to either party when not requested mmm. Made a note xx

Sett

[seamedblackstockings]

Summary of discussion 30th August 2013

It was a general consensus that the time frame involved was determined uniquely between the parties involved. What was evident was the importance of clear communication to establish the symbolic nature of the collar prior to its application.

Discussion surrounded the role of the collar from a fashion accessory, a collar used to demonstrate and symbolise a play session to that of a collar equivalent to a wedding ring within commitment. Again it was agreed that the actual relationship within the dynamic of D/s determined the use, and that a clear understanding was paramount.

The Velcro collar was determined to perhaps undermine the meaning of a more traditional outlook. It was noted that on occasions, some looked upon the collar in a very relaxed manner. Comments were also added that a few appear to enter the scene with very little knowledge, or with knowledge based purely on certain web sites.

Mentorship, education and the use of books to show a rounder picture of D/s dynamics were described. This varied in that certain play is best practiced upon oneself, to those that suggested it would be difficult to ascertain the level felt as each individual involved would have a unique experience. The importance of knowledge and discussion with others was seen to be a positive movement, although perhaps far less practised since the influence of the internet.
Emotional as well as environmental factors would also be a contributory factor within play. As the stimulus would vary within each individual. Informative discussion commenced around the awareness of certain play involving the neck, as without extreme due care and attention a person could be physically endangered. As with the actual placement/tightness of the collar, ‘two fingers’ width from the neck seemed to be a safe standard of practice, but again a personal choice.
The types of collars varied, symbolic of time and place. The anklet or silver necklace discreetly worn on a day to day basis, to the play’ collar. This varied according to the persons involved. The use of colour coding was described, this was more frequently used in latter days, but certainly seemed to familiar to many at the discussion. A semi universal coding, but with variation according to geographical location.

Overall, it was generally concluded that the collar, for some was extremely significant, and yet to others maybe not quite as important. Yet all agreed it was a symbolic gesture of commitment between D/s.

Miss Sett {Kuve} and Miss Red