seamedblackstockings
09-15-2013, 07:57 AM
Our next discussion will be held Friday, 20th of September at 9:00 pm EST ~ Saturday 21st of September 0200 GMT AND again Sunday 22nd of September at 1400 GMT/9am EST ~ hosted by Miss-Sett
Topic: is Dom/me and sub space, what is it? How does it feel, have you experienced it and is the sensation similar regardless of role D/s? Also the importance of after-care, providing support for both D/s methods that can help each other to ground following play.
We will meet in the chat room lobby and then move to a discussion room.
Anyone wishing to suggest a topic, please reply to this thread ~ we welcome all suggestions and participation.
See you there!!
Rules of discussion
1. No meeting/greeting each other after the discussion has started, period.
2. Serious replies please, with respect afforded to each other.
3. This is a discussion room, if people wish to chat or play, please return to the lobby.
4. No disrespectful language will be tolerated at all, nor will detrimental comments, each participant has an opinion. There are others present that wish to learn.
seamedblackstockings
09-22-2013, 12:28 PM
Summary of discussion 20th September 2013
The discussion commenced with actual acknowledgment of subspace, described by many as a sensation of hyper awareness intense arousal, almost dreamlike but fully awake. A relaxed state of warmness, a mental state of emotional well-being, although this was subjective to the person(s) involved and occurred within different layers of consciousness for some. Suggestion and directions could be introduced at this point, to assist the experience almost akin to hypnotic guidance.
The relationship between bdsm and romance was explored, for some both D/s found that that they felt extremely romantic during play, however this was not a universal finding. Each dynamic produced a variable response and some found pleasure from receiving physical stimulation only.
Responsibility for the safety of the sub was established, the role of the dom/me clearly defined as the person in control, awareness of the stage of play, at what point to start the grounding process. This utilised the skill, knowledge and experience of the dom/me concerned. The power exchange and enjoyment of total control of another was significant., described as seeing and understanding where the sub is within subspace, allowing them to enjoy just long enough before bringing them back.
Safewords were described with suggestions, as holding ‘ping pong balls’ when released could signify that the sub had hit the desired level. The importance of choosing appropriate wording denoted, a universal ‘colour traffic system’ red, amber green seemed popular. When a new play situation occurs many agreed that a safeword helped the dom/me establish levels. After time this was not deemed as so necessary as familiarity within the relationship informed the dom/me of progress. The omission or inability to actually speak any safeword was also considered as whilst within subspace the sub may forgot this word entirely, hence the responsible role on the dom/me was again highlighted.
Questions were asked how dom/mes learn to control a scene play safely, some demoted that it was through mentorship, others through experience gained whilst within a sub role. It was noted that no everyone felt the dynamic and enjoyment of being within a dominant position of play. This was subjective of the individual preference of the person.
Aftercare of both D/s was extremely important as were the symptoms of distress. Sudden subdrop was described as fearful but not to be confused with the cessation of play when the dom/me recognised that all was not well. Gentle re-establishment of where the play was leading and reassurance provided before re-commencing or changing the interaction could occur. Many found that aftercare consisted of mutual physical comfort; appreciation afforded to the dom/me for taking care of their controlled position and shared communication.
Description from the perspective of the dom/me was interesting, envisaged as a hyper sensitive awareness, where time and motion became as one. The care and attention remains on the sub, time is almost in slow motion, inability to be aware of things around as the pure focus on what is occurring.
One of many comments that I did pick out was ‘subspace was not’ the orgasm of the bdsm world’ I thought this prevalent as many seem to consider the goal as opposed to the route that needed to be journeyed upon.
Shock was described as a condition that could be avoided with careful fore- planning, honest communication and an understanding of the person(s) involved. However, it was noted that sudden subdrop through denial of attention could be harmful to the psychological well-being of another and was not a desired outcome for mutual satisfaction of scene play. Many offering of a solution to this considered, sweet drinks, cuddles even a touch throughout play offered reassurance.
Miss Sett {Kuve} and Miss Red