Challenging subbies

[jinx]

So a question for the Dom/mes out there: How do you feel about subbies who're a bit on the challenging side?

To clarify, I don't mean bad behaved, or bratty, or anything like that. I mean submissives who don't always make it easy for you to dominate. Ones who push back a little, test your dominance just as much as you test their submission. Is that just annoying compared to subbies who're more eager to submit? I realize there's as broad a range of subby types as there are dominant types, and that the answer is ultimately always going to be 'it's different for everyone'. But what do you, personally, think?

It might be a good way for us to get some good insight into the way you see us!

[Burning Blade]

In my opinion it is (surprise surprise) again all in the matter in communication. Some subs might push back just to test their Dom/me patience, others might do it knowing full well and expecting to be punished, while some just aren't subs, but have this subby feeling poking behind there. If Dom/me and sub sort it out and get to the core of the matter, it should be fairly easy to work with a sub bit on rebelious side. Personally, i wouldn't mind a sub who would be a bit on spunky side, kinda like light version of sub chaotic. As long as she wouldn't blatantly disobey my orders, i might actually enjoy it. Also, one of those always kneeling "yes mistress' subs...I'm not sure if they would be for me.

[denuseri]

Are not such things perfectly natural human behaviors that form an integral part of the power exchange dynamic?

[Master Frost]

I've had both. And the ones that push are My fav hands down. Giving a command and KNOWING it will be carried out without question gets boring to Me. But giving a command and watching how she pushes back and resists no matter how simple is fun. Does she make Me want to pull My hair out sometimes? yeah she does. Its better than getting bored with tasks and commands knowing whatever you throw out will be carried out.

[klad0089]

the challenging the better - always the things you get with effort feels much better than easy ones so the same with subs , I guess . unless the dominant is the type who prefers slaves .

[just_ine]

Giving a command and KNOWING it will be carried out without question gets boring to Me. But giving a command and watching how she pushes back and resists no matter how simple is fun.

First off, to each His own.

Secondly:
Comments like this always make me frown. Perhaps I miss the point completely and would appreciate to be educated.

What is submission if it doesn't include obedience. I'm not talking about blind obedience....mindless 'YesSir'. But obedience out of a desire to please Him. But when her obedience doesn't please Him...... Why does He then have her? she is missing out on the deep satisfaction of knowing that she obeyed and He was pleased. Because He feels like she should rather be playing games??

If obeying Him is boring to Him perhaps He needs to (a) rethink the necessity of the task and (b) look for a vanilla partner who likes to be spanked on occasion, not a submissive.

Then again, One partner calls me a brat. W/we enjoy the fun and banter. Teasing Him is fun and even skirting on the edge is something that energises U/us both. But when He commands, I obey. I will ask for leniency when needed, I will ask questions and clarification... BUT I obey. This is the very foundation of D/s.

I believe myself to be challenging as a submissive. Not because I willfully disobey but because I expect a lot from my Him. I have a good mind and am not lazy to use it. I don't submit to anyOne and those who have my submission have shown Themselves to be worthy of it. They worked for it.....as I worked for Their Dominance.

I realise there isn't a 'one way' of D/s, but this seems to go to the very nature and fabric of What Domination and submission is.

[lorem angelum]

Then again, One partner calls me a brat. W/we enjoy the fun and banter. Teasing Him is fun and even skirting on the edge is something that energises U/us both. But when He commands, I obey. I will ask for leniency when needed, I will ask questions and clarification... BUT I obey. This is the very foundation of D/s.

I believe myself to be challenging as a submissive. Not because I willfully disobey but because I expect a lot from my Him. I have a good mind and am not lazy to use it. I don't submit to anyOne and those who have my submission have shown Themselves to be worthy of it. They worked for it.....as I worked for Their Dominance.

I realise there isn't a 'one way' of D/s, but this seems to go to the very nature and fabric of What Domination and submission is.

I love this response I and agree with it wholeheartedly. If he gives me a command I obey it, this is our foundation....how we both mesh and complete each other. Not to say, like just ine, I don't skirt the edge a bit, it can add that extra spark. I also know if I skirt to close to that edge and he is displeased, I will know it. I feel that pushing to much in my eyes becomes disrespectful and not synonymous with what a D/s relationship is based on. But I am smart, strong and it is my willingness to give up these things in myself to MY Sir when he commands that completes us. But like everyone says, not all D/s relationships are the same, just like not all vanilla ones stay the same course.

[Sagacious]

In my view disrespect and intentional disobedience are of course not the proper behavior for a submissive. But personally I do enjoy a spirited submissive girl.

My most recent submissive is a very independent young woman and holds a position in her company that requires her to be quite assertive at work. To put it kindly she does have a willful streak which I certainly enjoyed taming. That aspect of her only served to make her submission to me all the more satisfying.

A part of her being "challenging" I knew was simply because she was aware she was a lot to handle but she wanted to submit and feel my control. She needed to know where the boundaries were to feel secure and sometimes was prone to test the boundaries just to assure herself they were still there.

Yes, there are specific expectations to be met on both sides in the D/s dynamic but I'd never want to extinguish a girl's natural personality or spirit. Any relationship, even a D/s relationship should be fun for both parties. Bratty behavior, as long as it isn't disrespectful or an act of open defiance can help keep things fun and interesting. If it goes too far, a Dom simply curbs it with appropriate correction.