Sirs_GoodGirl (Whyteknyght)
01-23-2014, 05:01 PM
New to this site, wow, SO glad I found y'all!!! Looking for books, other newbies, advice....and acceptance. I don't know how many friends I have that would "get it" if I told them "I like it when he calls me a slut".....kind of a conversation stopper...:culpability:
I'm looking for books to read, to help me feel not so weird, people who are new as well, advice on what to NOT do especially......
....just beginning to explore this with a new lover, he is as new as I am to (acting on) it and finding he quite likes being dominant....I've always had a huge curiosity about BDSM, and have had some brief experiences with men who were into humiliating me. But they really meant it, and that was awful. My new guy loves women, adores me, but can be very VERY debasing during sex, very controlling, which is a huge turn on. So far, nothing but skype/phone (long distance relationship!) in this manner, when we did spend time together in person, it was very loving, as it was our first time together.
I want to be ....OWNED by him, in bed, sometimes.I also am interested in spanking (he did that to me and for the first time I didn't have the urge to laugh at the person spanking me for being timid), flogging, ties, and anything else that would make me feel like I belong to him. But I'm scared. And I don't know how I'll react when he flogs me for the first time. Or ties me up. Thank god we are very open about it to each other and I know he would never actually hurt me, that if I find myself uncomfortable with anything he'd immediately fix it. I trust him 100%.
But I have a very bratty side to me as well, I sometimes like to push him, tease him, or disobey him so that he becomes even more controlling or I end up having to punish myself for being naughty (on his orders, over skype, he can't spank me so he makes ME do it!). I mouth off to him. Does this mean I'm NOT a sub?????????
I do not want a full master/slave lifestyle, simply to escape the control I have to have over myself all the time in life, and let him take over, follow his lead...let him calm the anxiety and doubt that seem to follow us all at times. He calms me, he centers me, and when he tells me "good girl", for doing what he "suggests", I am filled with joy, and peace, and pride.
I'm looking for books to read, to help me feel not so weird, people who are new as well, advice on what to NOT do especially......
....just beginning to explore this with a new lover, he is as new as I am to (acting on) it and finding he quite likes being dominant....I've always had a huge curiosity about BDSM, and have had some brief experiences with men who were into humiliating me. But they really meant it, and that was awful. My new guy loves women, adores me, but can be very VERY debasing during sex, very controlling, which is a huge turn on. So far, nothing but skype/phone (long distance relationship!) in this manner, when we did spend time together in person, it was very loving, as it was our first time together.
I want to be ....OWNED by him, in bed, sometimes.I also am interested in spanking (he did that to me and for the first time I didn't have the urge to laugh at the person spanking me for being timid), flogging, ties, and anything else that would make me feel like I belong to him. But I'm scared. And I don't know how I'll react when he flogs me for the first time. Or ties me up. Thank god we are very open about it to each other and I know he would never actually hurt me, that if I find myself uncomfortable with anything he'd immediately fix it. I trust him 100%.
But I have a very bratty side to me as well, I sometimes like to push him, tease him, or disobey him so that he becomes even more controlling or I end up having to punish myself for being naughty (on his orders, over skype, he can't spank me so he makes ME do it!). I mouth off to him. Does this mean I'm NOT a sub?????????
I do not want a full master/slave lifestyle, simply to escape the control I have to have over myself all the time in life, and let him take over, follow his lead...let him calm the anxiety and doubt that seem to follow us all at times. He calms me, he centers me, and when he tells me "good girl", for doing what he "suggests", I am filled with joy, and peace, and pride.