View Full Version : The mask you live in
http://www.upworthy.com/theres-something-absolutely-wrong-with-what-we-do-to-boys-before-they-grow-into-men?c=reccon1
It is called 'the mask you live in', and it is about boys and men in the US.
To the men primarily: Is it really this bad???
Thorne
02-01-2014, 08:40 AM
Is it really this bad???
It can be. A lot of it is cultural, and it seems to have an economic component to it as well. But mostly, it's how you teach your children to "be a man". And as a father of two boys (now men themselves) I have to admit, it wasn't easy to overcome the culture. They're taught by their peers to strike back when someone disrespects them. I tried to teach them that violence was almost never a solution to any problem. If someone disrespects you, laugh at them! If they hit you, tell a teacher. If you're in trouble, any kind of trouble, ASK FOR HELP!
That was the hardest part. Kids don't want to ask for help. It's a sign of weakness, I guess. But once you get them to talk, to ask for help, to respect themselves, it does get easier, I think. Of course, I had it a little easier. My oldest was one of the smarter kids in his class, and knew that the bullies were stupid, generally. My youngest was one of the biggest in his class, and most of the bullies were afraid of him. And I tried to teach them that "being a man" meant helping those who were weaker, not picking on them. All in all, I think they turned out fairly well.
It can be. A lot of it is cultural, and it seems to have an economic component to it as well. But mostly, it's how you teach your children to "be a man". And as a father of two boys (now men themselves) I have to admit, it wasn't easy to overcome the culture. They're taught by their peers to strike back when someone disrespects them. I tried to teach them that violence was almost never a solution to any problem. If someone disrespects you, laugh at them! If they hit you, tell a teacher. If you're in trouble, any kind of trouble, ASK FOR HELP!
That was the hardest part. Kids don't want to ask for help. It's a sign of weakness, I guess. But once you get them to talk, to ask for help, to respect themselves, it does get easier, I think. Of course, I had it a little easier. My oldest was one of the smarter kids in his class, and knew that the bullies were stupid, generally. My youngest was one of the biggest in his class, and most of the bullies were afraid of him. And I tried to teach them that "being a man" meant helping those who were weaker, not picking on them. All in all, I think they turned out fairly well.
Thank you for your answer. I wonder how or why it got to be like that, and if girls have much differently.
It would be good if other males would have something to say, even if not US.
BAM - Being A Man - was a convention which took place last week end:
Being a Man
Friday 31 January 2014 - Sunday 2 February 2014
Over this groundbreaking weekend, men of all ages and from many walks of life lead conversations and Q&As on what it means to be a man today.
A group of extraordinary contributors and leaders in their field explore all facets of masculinity and male identity. Subjects range from fatherhood, heroism and the tribal nature of sport to online addictions, sex, war, race and the aspirations men have.
‘It sure is time to talk about men: men and change; men and women; and why many men fear both change AND women!’
Jon Snow – journalist and broadcaster
‘I have never really sat back and considered what it’s like to be a man, I have just got on and been one (I think!) I haven’t a clue where BAM might go but I am looking forward to the ride.’
Wayne Hemingway – designer and entrepreneur
‘ BAM seeks to provoke debate on why it is that what ought to be one of the most edifying of human conditions is so often shot through with feelings of inadequacy and isolation.’
Colin Currie – musician
I would have loved to be a fly on the wall to hear what men really think!
http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/being-a-man
Thorne
02-05-2014, 02:18 PM
Given that a recent Congressional Committee Hearing (http://www.thenation.com/blog/166311/republican-hearing-contraception-no-women-allowed) on women's health was run exclusively by men, maybe it would have been a good idea for BAM to have been run by women?
Given that a recent Congressional Committee Hearing (http://www.thenation.com/blog/166311/republican-hearing-contraception-no-women-allowed) on women's health was run exclusively by men, maybe it would have been a good idea for BAM to have been run by women?
Good grief!