April 10-16, 2016, groups against street harassment

[thir]

This topic seems to divide the waters a lot, especially what constitutes street harassment.

What do you think street harassment is?
Who should define it?
Have you been harassed, or have you harassed anyone?



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In my view, harassment is if a person feels it is, if approach makes a person feel threatened or uncomfortable. It varies from person to person. I myself have been followed by a car when walking a street, with people shouting at me, several times. Or people shout from working places or building places.

I also intensely hate being approached with comments on my looks, whether they are meant as compliments for not.
But it is in the situation, like when someone says 'smile' which I also dislike, but the point is if I just shake my head or say 'can't', the man (it is always a man) will either give me one himself, which is fine, or get angry at me, which, in my eyes, constitutes harassment.

What do you think?

[Denzark]

I'm not sure what street harassment means. I take a strict view on this. For me anybody hindering me from going about my business is harassing me. If a person stops me for directions or to ask the time, that is forgiveable since it is a one off. But the fundraiser or beggar calling out to every passer by is not. Buskers, street artists etc. would all be swept away in my world. That said the town council should provide appropriate places for street artists and fundraisers but ban then from verbally soliciting.

The original post seems to describe sexual harassment, I don't see the need to confuse matters by giving an additional term for something that already has a name. If somebody sexually harasses another in a train should we coin a new word train harassment?

BUT we do not want a world that is too strict. I'm sure most women don't object to the occassional wolf whistle, especially if thy are dressed to attract the male eye. Harassment is not a one off incident. It is for repeated or continuous incidents.

We have to be careful the pendelum (spelling) does not swing too far. Its getting to the state where I feel its dangerous to speack or interact with any female i dont know. I tend to give females a wide berth. I'd rather stand on the bus than sit next to a woman.

[thir]

[QUOTE=Denzark;1017329

BUT we do not want a world that is too strict. I'm sure most women don't object to the occassional wolf whistle, especially if thy are dressed to attract the male eye. Harassment is not a one off incident. It is for repeated or continuous incidents.

We have to be careful the pendelum (spelling) does not swing too far. Its getting to the state where I feel its dangerous to speack or interact with any female i dont know. I tend to give females a wide berth. I'd rather stand on the bus than sit next to a woman.[/QUOTE]


That is another side of the problem that I had not thought about..

When reading what women say about this, among many different answers two things keep coming back: 1) many women do not like comments on or reactions to their looks, whether meant positively or negatively. 2) feeling of being threatened.

If many people do not like reactions to their looks, might it not be a good idea to refrain from them? People also dress for their own sake, or for a particular person, not any or every person in the street.

About threats: I myself have, as said, been chased by cars along the road. That is a threat. But it is not always so easy to define. A rule of thumb, if people look scared or uncomfortable, stop. Harassment, in my eyes, shows itself when someone continues beyond that point.

I would feel sad if this discussion means that some men are uncomfortable sitting next to a woman in public transportation.

Is this a problem for many? I would like to hear about that.

[Denzark]

I'm sure all would agree in clear cases of harassment like you being chased down the street but my gripe is females don't seem to be able to come up with a definition of what harrassment (or abuse) actually is. That's to say what is and what isn't. If I said to a woman I don't know "you look lovely" is that abuse or harassment? Surely women should try to reach some agreement amongst themselves on the rules before pushing for men to observe the rules.

And society must look at the women's appearance and intention. If a woman wears a flimsy top with her tits half hanging out then screams blue murder when she attracts a wolf whistle it seems very much like entrapment to me. The argument that the makeup and clothes make a woman feel good needs exploring. It makes them feel good because it makes them feel attractive (attract what) and desireable (by whom). Maybe they dont want to attract men but are they saying to other women...... I can attract men better than you.

Threat is not so hard to define. Normally it is a continuous action (like staring compared to looking) and one where somebody is changing their normal behaviour eg car slowing down.

A problem with harassment and other laws that protect a specific group of people (ie race, religion, gender etc) is the law assumes the protected person is right when making accusations. If a woman alleges abuses or says she was made to feel uncomfortable the law and society will take her side. Compare the statements "I felt uncomfortable" and "he made me feel uncomfortable".

The smart thing therefore is to avoid getting into a situation in the first place. This means distancing myself from any protected group. I wont stand next to you in a queue for fear of bumping into you. I wont attempt conversation if sat next to you on a flight. I'll wait for the next lift if you are in the lift alone. Better safe than sorry is my maxim.