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kris09
07-16-2016, 12:57 PM
I have recently felt comfortable enough to voice the fact that I am submissive. I am a very confident and always in control person but have always felt like I needed someone who can hold the reigns of control in other parts of my life. I want to be knowledgeable and am looking for some direction on where I can find good solid information.

just_ine
07-17-2016, 03:31 AM
Hi and welcome!
I am also a submissive, but I am a strong, decisive and capable woman. I believe firmly that my submissive nature is the balance for my vanilla life. I am at my best when both sides are met.

There are several ways to learn...
Find other submissives to talk to. I believe submissives make good.mentors for submissives. Sure, there is a lot to be learned from Dominants about submission and the dynamic. But I do think that learning from and speaking to other subbies is the best.

Another is to attend munches. There will probably be one in your area. These differ from play parties and will introduce you into your local BDSM scene.

I didn't follow that route. I started learning by reading. I read quite literally everything that is available here on this forum. Also, i visited many others and ...as with many things in life...Google is your friend. Once you get past the porn, there is some really good information available.

Books... Jay Wiseman is one author that pop's into my mind.

Ask questions when you have them and don't only accept one person's view as correct.

These ideas would give you a pretty solid foundation to start from.

Best of luck and have fun.
Feel free to inbox me, if in need of a chat.

j.

Flaming_Redhead
07-17-2016, 07:27 AM
"Information" is really too broad a term. There's a lot of "information" floating around. Much of it is anecdotal and subjective. What, specifically, do you want to learn? How to find a partner? How to conduct a Japanese tea ceremony? How to care for leather items? Being specific and explicit will lead to better results.

just_ine
07-19-2016, 10:41 PM
A good point, Flaming_Redhead. However, when you are so new you often don't know what questions to ask. That is why I suggested 3 starting points. From there, whatever takes the OP's fancy can be researched. It is simply a matter of first knowing what to ask... and that in itself takes some context first.

kris09
07-20-2016, 05:58 AM
Flaming_Redhead you are right information is a broad term to use but at the moment I have yet to determine where I want to go and I am just looking for a starting point. I guess a better way to put it would be an introduction to the submissive life style.

just_ine I will try to what if there is a community in my area and try going to somethings. Also, I'll take a deeper look into the google research cause you are right all the porn is usually what I have first and I'll see abut reading some Jay Wiseman.


Thanks a bunches to both of you.