Questions I have

[SweetNShy_Sam]

I know I posted something up before and this is just questions that I have because I've met quite a few Dominants before and each one was different. I remember once I met one online and one of them ordered me to submit to them immediately and call them "Master" I wasn't even owned by them yet and to be honest it kinda made me have a bad experience to it. I'm still interested in the BDSM lifestyle, I just know when I feel something isn't quite right to listen to my instincts. Since I've been new to this, it's quite scary and yet very interesting for me at the same time. It's hard to tell when someone is actually being decent and real with me. I'm glad a few experiences that I wasn't scared off by the few that I've met because a lot of them only wanted a one time experience: like a fling, "one time thing." So since I'm here I thought I should ask some questions that could help clear some things up for me. Do Dom's ever love their Submissives? Is this possible?

Do Dom's and Sub's actually have day to day conversations and talk about other things other than sexual related subjects? Please don't be offended by any of my questions because I'm very new to all of this.

From what I know there's day to day things that a Sub has to do for their Master/Sir or also known as Daddy if he asks her too. There's probably rules involved, communication and bonding which helps build up the relationship. From what I know trust is very important to have between both parties involved. I know there's little girl's/daddy's relationships, name's such as pet or slave being used. I'm aware of punishment's, I've read through the bdsm glossary which I've read and different kinds of kinks. I'm just not exactly what mine all are yet because I've only tried quite a few things with my boyfriend when I was in my early 20's and that's what interested me into BDSM.

Guess my question is; would I have to give up college and dreams if I ever entered into this kind of relationship in real life? Would things change between my friendships and family? These things are important for me to know. This all is very intriguing to me, but I must admit at the same time I'm still cautious and kinda taken back based on what I heard. Though it could also just be rumors and I'm just simply just getting false information. I really hope I meet a lot of more people on here because I think the more I talk with more people as friends on here maybe I won't be so nervous. I won't lie though; this is all very very exciting for me, I just don't want to rush into anything too serious as of yet in real life until I know all my facts. I'm a very honest person: I'm not here to steal anyone away from their Dom or Sub. If anything I avoid drama all together. I'm very friendly, just a bit shy so that's why I'm posting up another thread to hopefully clear my head from thinking so much, lol! Hope I didn't offend anyone by my questions. Again please know I'm new to all of this and I'm simply just learning. Hope that clears everything up.

Hope nobody minded my ramblings. lol! :highly_amused:

If anyone would like to recommend me reading a book or anything; please reference me to them. Thank you for you're patience.

Hope to see you all among the boards. :butterfly:

[just_ine]

Do Dom's ever love their Submissives? Is this possible?

Yes, I can happen and actually happens often. People sometimes don't. Being play partners or a similar arrangement isn't unheard of.
This can be negotiated before starting, or it could simply evolve.
Thing is... it has to be what you both want.


Do Dom's and Sub's actually have day to day conversations and talk about other things other than sexual related subjects? Please don't be offended by any of my questions because I'm very new to all of this.

If anyone becomes offended by your questions, then they are the ones with a problem. Keep asking until it sits right in your heart.

Yes! It's a relationship! Talk about everything and anything. In fact... when you find someone whom you have such an intense and intimate relationships with, sharing your unfiltered thoughts, is one of the most wonderful things.

[just_ine]

Guess my question is; would I have to give up college and dreams if I ever entered into this kind of relationship in real life? Would things change between my friendships and family?
They only need to change if you both want it to. The thing is... if someone tries to keep you away from college, or your friends or family, you need to tread very carefully.

[The Jaded Dominant { koral }]

Hi Sam,
Just_ine brings up some good points, I would like to expand on these if I may.
Remember these are relationships first and foremost. So you should expect to be able to talk about what you please. Any good Dominant will be happy to answer any questions that you may have. A Good Dominant will know as should you that Respect and Trust are EARNED. They are not demanded and most certainly not by a person you have just met.
There are those who seek to take advantage of the new and inexperienced. We try to keep these Dumbinants and asshats to a minimum but some invariably slip through and if We are not aware of a unpleasantness, the is nothing We can do to stop them from doing the same thing to another.
I am including a link here from a Dominant on the site. They are his warning signs you are or may be in a bad relationship.
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/bdsm-101-a/24298-red-flags-lifestyle-4.html
I also have 2 books on the Lifestyle on PDF that I can send to you. Screw the roses,Give Me the thorns and Different Loving. Send Me a Pm or contact Me in chat and I will be happy to send them to you..
Keep up the questions Sam. You have asked questions I am sure many new subs have had
Thanks Just_ine for you continued input

J D

[just_ine]

Thank You SirTJD for Your encouragement and for the link. That same list is what clued me in when I started that I was actually being manipulated. With the help of wonderful subbies on this very forum I was able to step away and really start to learn what my own submission means to me.

Xxx