Fantasy vs. Reality

[Master13]

I'm wondering what kind of differences there are between people fantasies, and what they like (or would like) to do in reality. The most obvious answers to this question would be about consent, but that's not the issue I want to discuss. Assuming you had a completely willing partner, is their anything you wouldn't want to do (or have done to you) even though you enjoy fantasizing about it?

[albear]

Let me just start by saying that in my fantasies I'm much better at being submissive than I am in the real world! :p

There is one thing I have been thinking about recently, and that is having photos/video etc taken of me whilst engaging in sexual activities. Thinking about it because even though I'm a bit of a closet exhibitionist, I'm absolutely petrified about having my photo taken and the world seeing them. But in my dreams theres no closet about my exhibitionism! Aside from the people at the photo lab seeing them (I used to work in one, I know that they laugh and show the photos around) I won't even use a digital, because it really sucks when you break it, it's still under warranty but you refuse to get it fixed because of the nature of the photos on there. :shake:

Not quite sure if thats the kind of answer you're after...

[Ranai]

Interesting question. As I am such a beginner, with most practises I have no idea whether I would like them or not. The list 'never tried' hugely outweighs the list 'we tried it'. Also, currently I am away from my boyfriend and can't try anything (long-distance D/s does not really appeal to me). What I would not want to try:

Piercing. In fantasy, the idea of chaining someone up by a ring in his body puts a huge grin on my face. But whenever I see a real piercing, it completely turns me off. It seems that I only like the abstract concept, and dislike the way it looks. You are making me wonder with how many other things that would be the case, too!

Branding. A branding scene in a story can be hot [sic]. But in reality a brand would, in my perception, spoil the beauty. I also suspect that I would dislike giving that much pain. The notion of 'marking one's property' is meaningless to me.

Fisting. I like reading scenes of guys who get fisted. But even with lots of lube, I would be too doubtful about long-term health consequences to try it in reality.

Fanciful titles (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2712). Respect and politeness are a huge turn-on for me. But much of the 'verbal elevation' I like in fiction and fantasy, if applied in a real situation, would merely make me collapse with laughter.

[Ranai]

By the way, you did not specify whether your hypothetical 'completely willing partner' refers to to a unique partner or to an imaginary endless supply. You wish to leave ethics out of the equation here, which is a nifty idea because it makes the question more intriguing. The logic of cause and effect can not be avoided. In reality my actions have results. In fantasy and fiction I can always start from scratch.

Many of the truly violent fantasies end up with a character either permanently damaged or dead. No loss in a fantasy or story: the imaginary character was never there in the first place. The imaginary perpetrator can move on to the next imaginary victim. The plot can end or continue. There is little difference here between sexual fantasies and any fiction in which characters get injured or killed.

For example, I'm a sucker for scenes with death threats. A character who is afraid for his life and pleads for his life always makes me happy. It is the description of his fear and panic that turns me on. The outcome is optional, I don't really care if the character gets killed or is granted mercy or escapes. Depends on what fits in with the plot. This fancy would be impossible to translate into reality under the premise you specified. If I make a death threat, where's the 'willing'? And if I kill, where's the partner?

Irreversibility is an issue in fantasies about turning a prude into a plaything or an arrogant individual into an obedient slave. In fantasy I can always invent the next prude or the next arrogant bastard. In reality I might run out of candidates after a while.

On the submissive side I would assume many people fantasise about having irrevocably damaging things done to them, and for reasons of self-preservation are happy to keep them in the fantasy realm.

Having pointed out this premise problem – one of the many located on the boundary between fantasy and reality – I still think the question is an interesting one.