Asking Permission

[His_pita]

My Dom and I are in a long distance, online relationship. We can only be with each other by computer and phone right now. Although, that will change in the not so distant future. We are both new to D/s and embracing it whole-heartedly. Below, is a new discipline he has given me to bring us closer and to feel more like we are really in the D/s lifestyle. I wanted to post it and I have my Dom’s permission to do so.

control of me as Dom through my sexuality. It’s so hard for us both because he wants to own and Dom me fully. And I want that so badly. But the distance and our situations don’t allow us to be together at this time. So we have to do what we can to make our bond as tight as it can be even with our obstacles. I feel we will be stronger for it in the end.

So, Sir will be taking over my orgasms and I will not be permitted to cum with out first asking for permission and then receiving it if Sir feels I have deserved to orgasm. My pleasure will depend on how well I please him. I will have to earn the right to cum.

He wants me to be sexual and cum often so he will be eager to grant me permission but I will have to please him and he will make it more challenging for me as time goes on. Our goal together is the perfection of my submission.

This of course will require my complete honesty. Our relationship depends on that and total trust. I know I want to be honest and trustworthy. Never do I want him to doubt my loyalty to him. I know he wants me to be the best I can and to feel completion under his love and guidance. I love him so much and am determined to do my best. Then I will finally know true happiness in my soul.

Last night he made me tell him why I deserved to cum. He wanted examples of why I am good enough and what I have done to prove that I should be allowed to orgasm. It was so hard for me to do that. I am not used to saying good things about myself. But, he prodded in the gentle yet firm way he has and I was able to say enough to please him.

I had done well trying to complete my tasks that have been given. I have worked hard to improve my health and appearance, money management and job potential. He is proud of the progress I am making and of my increasing ability to submit to him. I try very hard to please my Sir and give him what I can to make him happy.

He said yes I had done well and I was to cum hard, thinking of him and to make it good, because he will make it harder for me to get permission. But he did say he wants me happy and satisfied. I did cum but my body ached for him and wanting His touch for real.

We would appreciate comments and ideas from those that have or are in a LDR and how and what you did to keep it alive and thriving. Thank you :)

[her_Joe]

pita and I have been on the site for only a week. I'm very proud of her for what she's accomplishing, and for what she has done already in learning to submit. She makes me work to keep up with her growth, and because I am new like her, there is a lot of growing for us both to do.

She is an amazing challenge to me, though she never seems to understand that. She challenges my mind, spirit, and heart on a daily basis. And when we are together, I'm sure the challenges will be physical as well. It's not only been interesting but feels like a whole new world has opened up.

I wonder if some of you old timers at BDSM recall the thrills of starting out. :o

The training that we do together now I'm hoping will stand us in good stead for the future, and make the transition when we are together easier. Am I right that cyber training transfers to a RL relationship?

I can sense that there are some of you rolling your eyes while you read our posts. I don't blame you. pita is the one who discovered the forum. We registered because of the comfort we felt with the attitude of those who post here, and with coming here as newbies for feedback as we experiment and learn. Feel free to post your reactions or reflections as we'll take it seriously and, of course, we'll feel free to adjust your comments to fit our needs!

TIA.

[Ruby]

Congratulations TIA and His pita,

You've taken the first steps to fulfilling your dreams and fantasies. A first step that many people on these forums have yet to take and that some of us took a long time ago.

Mistress Jade has some wonderful checklists in her thread that might give you some ideas:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2965

When your ready to take it up a notch you might go here:
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/dungeon/
and register for the submissive tasks.

To your success,

Ruby
XXX OOO

[His_pita]

Thank you Ruby for your post and positive comments. I looked over both your links. I am interested in the submissive tasks and wonder if that is something my Dom and I would enjoy being a part of. Can you tell me more about it or do you suggest we join and see if it is for us? Thank you :)

[Sam'sJasmine]

Pita,
I also started out with a long distance D/s relationship. We started out with just e-mail. He would assign tasks, and I would report back. Then came phone calls, hot long phone calls, yum. Then I got a trip to where he was, (I was an over the road truck driver at the time), and we met in person. We started out the first year only seeing each other face to face four times. But the e-mail and phone calls in-between kept us both wanting more. He did take control of all my orgasm eventually, and I had a love/hate relationship with that aspect of things. I was always turned on by having to ask for such a basic need, frustrated many times when it was 2am and I didn’t want to wake him, but never more into being His. We are still together and now married, so there are many happy endings. Going from long distance to real life is a challenge. In real life there are lawns to mow, bills to pay, and jobs. Just keep communication open and honest and all needs can be met. For now enjoy that wonderful feeling of new love and lust. The desire you feel now can be kept burning through all its metamorphosis’s, with work, commitment, and constant fanning of the flames.
Enjoy the ride!
Jasmine

[her_Joe]

Thank you, Ruby and Jasmine. It is very encouraging!

Joe

[His_pita]

Thanks Jasmine :) I can see how that 2am one might be a problem. I had the urge after the other night after having my Sir on my mind while lying in bed and now I won't be able to just follow through as I normally would. But I do like him having control over me.

We understand taking Us from cyber to RL will have it's difficulties. But,we are determined to do it with honesty and trust.

Just hope he doesn't think I'm mowing the lawn! :eek:

[Ruby]

Thank you Ruby for your post and positive comments. I looked over both your links. I am interested in the submissive tasks and wonder if that is something my Dom and I would enjoy being a part of. Can you tell me more about it or do you suggest we join and see if it is for us? Thank you :)

Sweet Pita,

Confession time. Ruby does not do submissive tasks unless she's playing truth or dare. Seriously. T and I don't have that type of relationship.

We are best friends, lovers, master and pet, husband and wife, parents, we run businesses together, but submissive tasks are not part of our relationship.

That said, there are plenty of folks in the forums who have relationships similar to yours and many who are into submissive tasks. If you read Jade's threads, as a mistress and with her as a submissive, they are very eye opening.

If it sounds like something you both want to pursue, then sign up for the course and chat with the instructors. They'd be happy to help you out.

To a successful relationship,

Ruby

All,

It would be great to hear from other folks who've successfully had a cyber relationship become something more. I know you're out there. Please join in like Sam'sJasmine.

[Escritor]

Even though I'm not in a long distance relationship, my girlfriend uses the same approach with me. I cum and have orgasms ONLY when she gives me permission. And that is not as often as it's desirable for me :P
Even more, most of our D/s relationship revolves around that.

Regards

[angel_in_disguise]

maybe i am lucky... i only have to ask permission if He is here... but, if i choose to cum when He isn't around i do have to log it into my journal... inlucding, what i was fantasizing about... now, that can lead for some interesting times when He does read it :p