This was awkward

[oneslave4me]

Umm, has anyone ever been asked if their SO abuses them?

I didn't even notice this, but on my right arm I have four perfect finger bruises from DH. Apparently we had a little TOO much fun. :)

Anyway, a lady at aerobics this morning kind of pulled me aside and asked if things were ok at home, etc. Apparently she had been in an abusive relationship.

So, I couldn't exactly tell this sweet southern woman about the same age as my mom that I kind of liked them there. So I said things were fine and that I didn't even really notice that they were there. But I know I blushed and she probably thinks I'm some abused woman.

Any thoughts?

[Desdemon]

I haven't ever had this in real life, however I work as an educator for medical professionals, and in some of the cases spousal abuse questions are (unnecessarily) raised. It's tricky to diffuse them, because trying to come up with an excuse will usually result in them following it up, as the percieve 'evasiveness'.

Don't try to deny anything happened. Tell as much of the truth as you can, and put it in a positive light. Smile when you tell them everything is fine, rather than worry that you will or won't convince them People who are being abused don't (generally) smile when asked if it's happening.Since you said you enjoyed this, that shouldn't be too hard ;)

...you and your SO were roughhousing (giggle, blush) and you didn't even realize they (the bruises) were there...

"No, mine is a very happy relationship (grin)"

[Nico]

Good advice. Bunnie ran into that at work recently. We had been doing some breast bondage the night before and in the morning there were still ropemarks in her cleavage. She got asked the same thing. When she realized why they were asking, she said "Oh, these! No, these are good, these were wanted!" Her co-worker got a little bit of a suprised look, blushed a little and said "Oh! Ok..." giggled a bit and then moved on.

[oneslave4me]

A couple times I've had comments about the mini purple dots I get around my eyes if the asphyx gets a little heavy, but I just tell people it's a rash I sometimes get. These were no denying that these little bruises weren't what they looked like.

hopefully she'll let it go, I was pretty nonchalant about it.

thanks ya'll.

[Artemis]

A little over a year ago I got asked the "are you being abused" question...by my mother. I was wearing shorts at the time and they had ridden up far enough that she noticed bruising on my thigh in the shape of a handprint. My Master and I had played the night before and since I bruise very easily, when our play gets intense I sometimes get bruises that last for a few days. It was very awkward and not something that I could discuss with my extremely conservative mother so I assured her that I wasn't being abused and that the bruises were the result of rough sex. I still don't think she quite believed me but I've made very sure since then to keep any bruising underneath clothing when I'm at my parents. I haven't been asked again thankfully. :)

~Artemis~

[subbiesarah]

A timely discussion! I'm off to spend a couple of days with my grandparents and have my Master's "badges" of heavy bruising on my upper forearms and nail marks on my lower forearms. I'm packing long sleeves and praying for rain :D

[csr]

I often end up with all kinds of bruises and marks but THAT is one of the advantages of being a m/sub... nobody suspects a thing! It just doesn't cross most peoples mind that a man could be hiding an abusive relationship where he was the victim... so I've never been asked--even when I've thought the injuries really obvious. :D