Being a better sub

[King_Reinheart]

Hey there,
I'm sorry if this topic has come up before, but I was wondering what would I have to do to become a better sub ? like how I should re-act and so on. Any help would be appreciated

[sayuri]

In my opinion your reactions should be genuine, it's your Masters job to find a way to make you react as he wishes. I personally need to feel the real thing, genuine fear, threat, pain, humiliation and my own reactions but that's not the only way to go. Some people enjoy making it a bit more loud or dramatic than it actually would be so if you think you'd like it just give it a try. There's also people who are very much into playing "the perfect sub" which can also be fun. :D

I'm very difficult as a sub (as well as a person) and haven't been "a good sub" to anyone, but I still feel it's best to be yourself. No matter how things go. The moment you start to fake things or think what would be "the best reaction" or make yourself do things you should do "just because you are kinky and a sub" things start to go wrong.

Enjoy, play safe and be open-minded, explore, define your limits and let your Master learn to play the fine instrument you are. Be honest to yourself and to your parter.

Just my two cents.

[oneslave4me]

Being a better sub to me is being able to trust your dom/domme. If you know you're going to be taken care of, you are going to enjoy it more and things will come naturally.

If you don't trust what's going to happen, don't believe the dom/domme is doing it for the right reasons or is capable, then you tense up, resist, and generally behave badly.

It's a hard thing to give yourself up to another person. But it's also what makes BDSM relationships so much more powerful.

Good luck

[delish]

I think it boils down to respect. The things my partner requires from me are honest communication and trust. The rest is all secondary- it's all part of the rituals he and I have created from our understanding of the lifestyle, meshed with our tastes and desires. That's the great thing about BDSM as a whole- there's not just One True Way, and anyone who tries to preach that shit to you doesn't know what they're talking about.

Ultimately, you and your partner are the only ones who can truly decide what improvements you can and should make. By most standards, I'm a pretty poor example of a sub, I think. My Dom is ideal for me, because he is willing to take into account all aspects of who I am, and build around that. You have to know yourself in order to know what you are looking for as a sub. Then you have to know your partner. It all sort of falls into place when it's right.

As always, my standard disclaimer: I'm in no way an expert. This is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. ;)

Oh, off-topic, oneslave4me, I adore your signature quote. PN is so breathtaking.