How Did You Get Into BDSM? Research Q/A?

[Nikita]

Dearest Masters and Slaves:

In my fervent efforts to gain insight and knowledge on the more salient aspects of BDSM, I never talked to anyone who told me HOW they got into the life.

Please share the story about how you were first introduced to BDSM. For instance:

1. How old were you?

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?

There are too many questions above and each one could be its own thread, however, pick one or two and share fully. Your answers will be a revelation to me and many others.

If it is too personal, you can PM me.

Nikita

[MyladyChris]

1./2. I dunno about 12-13 I think, I have allways liked the to put power in relation with sex i think.. and I have alwaysed been a kind of bossy person liking to be in charge and in center
3.nope unfortunaley never been to one yet :(
4.ofcourse a feeling arousement and i was happy, and felt that this was right for me
5. Dunno havent been here that long

[Bald_J_and_F]

Dearest Masters and Slaves:

In my fervent efforts to gain insight and knowledge on the more salient aspects of BDSM, I never talked to anyone who told me HOW they got into the life.

Please share the story about how you were first introduced to BDSM. For instance:

1. How old were you?

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?

There are too many questions above and each one could be its own thread, however, pick one or two and share fully. Your answers will be a revelation to me and many others.

If it is too personal, you can PM me.

Nikita
1. We were both 29 and had been together for almost 5 years already.
2. We discovered it as part of our sexual experiments. We quickly found out though that we both definitely are not on the dominant side, which put our relationship into a crisis, since we had the feeling we were mismatched. Yet somehow we couldn't believe we really were mismatched, since everything else fitted so wonderfully. Then we met late Mistress in a lesbian bar and submitted to her. We served her for 5 years until she sadly died of a car accident. Serving together definitely is what we want; it tightens the emotional bond between us.
3. We first experienced it at home.
4. First of all we don't like the word "scene". We don't "scene"; serving is a natural part of our lives. BDSM does not appear in our lives in the form of "scenes". The only parts of our lives where it does not enter are our professional lives, and even there are some intrusions, like having to wear certain clothes at work; certainly our bald heads could be named as intrusions too. And then we never watched any "scene" before we entered the BDSM-lifestyle; we were immediately involved.
5. If there are we don't know.

[His_pita]

I will share the ones I can answer.

1. How old were you? ~39

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM? ~I have liked mild forms of bondage, blindfolds and spankings for a very long time. Last year I started reading stuff on other sites about it all. I met some people that liked it too and talked to them.

Then I met my Joe, quite innocently I might add. A converstation we were having revealed that I was a submissive and he was a Dom. Our instant connection turned very real after that. :)

[~Lily~]

1. How old were you? Mid to late 20's

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?Vanilla sex often left me unsatisfied but I never knew why until I started reading erotica, and it was the BDSM books that made me the most excited so I experimented a little, and then I doscoeverd the internet which opened up whole new avenues.


3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party? I've never been to a club or party

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first scene? Agaian, only experienced first hand opposed to witnessing others.

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge? Given some of the stories I have read I think I'm vanilla to most here but probably too kinky for others. But I'm new, and I'm still learning and exploring and finding my boundaries.

[Artemis]

1. How old were you? I was in my early teens when I began having D/s fantasies, though now I recognize the submissive tendencies I sometimes showed when I was younger. Eventually, I discovered what I fantasized about was called BDSM and was quite normal and I embraced each new thing I learned about the lifestyle.

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM? When I was 17 I discovered the internet and the joys of information being available to me at the click of a mouse button. Through my searches to find more information on BDSM, I discovered this site and also like minded people who were willing to discuss the lifestyle with me.

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party? I've never been to one.

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first scene? I've never seen a live scene.

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge? I'm sure that there are considering that I myself was a lurker for a long time before I felt I was ready to reach out and talk to people in the lifestyle. I'm glad I did too.

~Artemis~

[jaro_99]

1. How old were you?
About 22

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?
...fucking with a younger (18) woman

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?
...she asked to me to squeeze her tits hard...no harder than that! I was wide eyed at the thought but obliged. Then somehow we ended up with light spanking during doggy and that soon progressed to fairly brutal spanking once it became clear she got *off* on it.

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?
Well after that initiation I found The Story of O and tried to fumble my way through some more experimentation. It wasn 't until the advent of the internet at home some years later that I was able to really start learning and make contact with others.

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?
Are there?...who knows? Probably...I guess. My view is that you don't know what you're missing till you try. Why die wondering? Equally, I remember it being a huge step to take and really its important that you can know in yourself that its time for the plunge.

[ileana]

. How old were you?
36

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?
I was going to start a RP with a guy that I met at a pagan site and he wanted me to be a submissive girl. He sent me to a site to read up on what she was to be like and it rang so true to how I have always felt baout myself. Form then on he trained me over the internet useing the web cam. and then came up here to collar me. The next weekend I was in a car accident ( but have recovered wonderfully ) and he did all e could to come to see me at least once a month. ( We lived about 6 hours away from each other at the time ) Now that my mind and body has healed he has recollared me and moved up here to be with me almost 24/7. we will be doing that next Year of all goes well.

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?
I have never been to one.


4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?
I was wowed. I never heard of the lifestyle or the sceen around where I have grown up and to find that feeling and thinking like I did wasn't a bad thing freed me in so many ways. I know know that it is ok for my cunt to be always wet and horney when she is near her Master.

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?
If there is I hope that they will cause it is so freeing to be what Your heart knows it is.

[Walace]

1. How old were you? 25

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?
Back in my 11 or 12 I started to discover my body. I felt much atraction to needles, and loved to squeeze my nipples (that must be the reason for them being so big today, lol). My imagination was (and is, still) strong, and I thought of things to arouse myself... And quickly it grew into something that I was to later know as SM... Well, D/s has never come to be something inportant to me, but since I knew my body so well, every relation I had ended up at me giving coordinates, and eventualy orders, and it grew kinky... Oh well... I think it came from withim, see? Just part of the discovery of the self... :cool:

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?
Nope. Not at all.

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?
Still in the childhood I remember having seen a movie (not a porn) and it has this woman, and she did things that were so sensual, and yet so kinky... As I saw it I thought: Oh my, I must have (or be) something like that someday. Yes, I must!. :p Hehehe, It was but fascination and arousement to the limit!

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge? Not me, at least. :rolleyes:

6. And how about the taboos?
Well, here where I live (brazil) it was a terrible taboo... Only nowdays people are trying to take a deeper look at it, and are stoping to call it a disease... :dunno: But I was ever daring to opose myself to labels and discrimination. Now that I come to think of it, all that taboos just made the experience much more funny. :p

[craftygirl]

1. How old were you?
2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?
3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?
4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?
5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?

Nikita

1. mid 20's
2. The first thing that happened to me that really flipped my switch, my boyfriend accidentally pinned me down one day while we were fooling around. We did a lot of experimenting together, and I wouldn't even say I knew what to call it then. Didn't take me long to figure it out though.
3. I belong to a club and go probably 2-3 times a month.
4. I was completely enthralled. I still love to watch, and moreso to listen.
5. I don't know, but I guarantee you I'm not one of them. ;) I've gone from moderately shy but inquisitive to regular, playing member of a bdsm club and the resident expert at the toy store. We get customers in asking about BDSM and my manager's reaction is "Hey crafty, I have a customer for you" (I'm so proud!)

[naughtychicabel]

1. How old were you?
16
2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM?
A boy/friend who was (much) older introduced me to it. I loved it, then forgot how much I liked it until about 2 months ago, when I decided to read "the bottoming book" and got "the topping book" for my husband.

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party?
I've never been to either. I'm shy.
4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene?
I've never seen a live scene.

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge?
This is my first post. I don't feel like a vanilla person, but I've definitely been lurking... trying to learn as much as I can, and not overwhelm my husband, who is unfamiliar with all this.
:D

[charlestudor]

1. How old were you? i read books on torture and was fascinated by it pre-puberty

2. Who or what opened your eyes to BDSM? writings

3. Did you get to experience it at a club or party? i have not been able to experience it yet. i am shy and scared about being outed. live-in is not into the bdsm stuff, but i want to explore.

4. What was your physical and emotional reactions when you saw your first
scene? desire, but i've only seen such scenes in movies

5. Are there any people on this forum that are vanilla and participating or lurking to find out if they should take the plunge? definitely, but i am not lurking now. i want to take the plunge but am concerned about safety issues. :atm:

[Lilly My Sweet]

Wow...should I share? I suppose it would be therapy to do so.

Well, I'm 27 and a first timer. Some of my earliest childhood memories are of fantasizing about being a POW soldier, and being tortured and beaten. Though I am female, I was always a male in the fantasy. At five years old, I relished in thoughts of the different methods used in my abuse though they were never sexual, as I was unaware of sex at the time.

Now jump 15 years. I became an exotic dancer, stripper, whatever you want to call it at the age of 20. I was going to college at the time and had an eviction notice hanging on my apartment door. I had lost my job and my parents told me to never call home for money (hehe nice how I put the blame on ol' mom and dad), I had no one to turn to. I felt I had no other choice.

I've been dancing for five years now, I took two years off for the sake of my boyfriend, now my ex, and to have my daughter. My overall experience as a dancer has been negative. Though I have never been a part of the darker side of the business, I'm not an alcoholic, I don't do drugs, and I have never had sex with a customer or sold out and did something that I really didn't want to do just because a 100 bill was waved in my face.

As a dancer, I have to be in total control 100% of the time with the men that I interact with at work. Restricting their hands in a playful manner so that they don't touch me, telling them what they can and cannot do, I run the show while I give a dance.

I'm not at all casual with sex, I've only had sex with 4 guys, 3 of them my boyfriends in my life, and to have strangers touch and push themselves up to me and try to lick my neck and face and paw frantically at my body and moan in my ear and expose themselves is just not me. I hate it. I was at work last night and about to give a guy a lap dance and the first things he did was put his hand down his pants, rub himself, then pull out his hand and attempted to touch me in between my legs with his smelly hand. Eww. The dances are nude by the way.

I cringe, grit my teeth when a customer touches me and I curse myself if I get goosebumps if they so happen upon a favorite spot. To flinch from a man's touch is my natural reaction, its what I do all night to keep my private parts, private. My vagina, my nipples, kisses to my neck or my legs and back are sacred, not something that I am willing to exchange for money.

Enter BDSM. Wow, to put total trust in a man, a man that I care for might I add, to bind me to touch and arouse me with total helplessness is mindblowingly stimulating to me. In what creative, dark ways will they receive pleasure from my body? I may struggle and flinch all that I want, but in vain. I want to experience pleasure and to be feasted upon and relished with abandon. Hell, I need to be tied up! Soft touches are too predictable, I want them to be contrasted with pain. I want to trust. I want to please. I want to receive. Alas, there is no significant other in my life...to have found these forums has been a blessing indeed. If physical expression cannot be given, I am thankful that it can be mentally done.