Can you place a series of Journals?

[Ezzrai]

posted in here... a journey of a submissive's first time collared and trained. The first part would be written poems inspired throughout this journey and the poems reflect all emotions and deeper thought, true thought that she sometimes doesnt come to realize until later.
The rest would be excerpts written from beginning to end, even thoughts she kept to herself completely for no one read her journal.

Could this be written here?

[BDSM_Tourguide]

Could this be written here?

I wouldn't see why not. You could even submit them as stories or story chapters to the Library story section itself.

If you do want to submit them in the forums, though, this one is definitely the correct one in which to do it.

[Ezzrai]

and its a new computer...geez :)

and i have lost anything i wrote previous and there will be missing poetry and some missing journal as i was asked not to write certain things in my journal even.

Here are some poems;

Journal by poetry…
All material copywrit by owner

Untamed 02/21/04

I manically beat with tarnished cane
meaningful words
shattered insane
denying doggerel balms
shame, self-blame
I became
a skeleton on wasted plains
parched from infertile rains
wheezing life inane
to unbalanced
thrashing wind-storms
of scattered bloodstains
passion unkempt
thirsting flames
quickly extinguished,
lacking…
wane

then you came
decanting dew drops
with sagacious sashay
bathing altruistically
desiccated pains
your lips ingrained
moist renewal
tender first
flooding, ravenous
ravaging
and remained
wetting fervor
gripping my name
I, enthralled
cast the other side of sane
quivering emotions
a shivering seascape
in your arms…
untamed.



Your intensity 03/09/04

entangled
trembling
with each swing of air
lashing sensitive skin
licking intensity
tease of leather
ragged hesitation
a second before
you reign sweetened kisses
of your control
over me
sending my soul
into twisting summersaults
hair twining toes
fear bound
silenced
breathless
climbing joy
I cling
before
you show me
how to fly
free



Trembling weak 03/14/04

potent eyes penetrate
extracting vulnerability
as you pierce my heart
then charge forward
to clench surrendered cries
in your fist
holding fierce

not letting me hide
deny
detain
dissolve within

heart levitating
escalating wide
cavernous eternity
breath bare
a gasped echo
yielding, exposed
succumbing sheer sensation
beating absolute harmony

fearing what i show
afraid of what you seek
another orifice found
aroused
and left trembling weak


Untouch me 03/16/04

a journey
of mind and sensation
where you touched
and still seek
beyond
granite, chiseling
a formation of heart
that once was mine
as a child

under rubble
you speak,
it is still beating,
writhing
thriving
to break free,
but i deny

i am not yours
nor will i be,
’tis not my destiny

that i can love
and love you

is freedom
beyond mind
but do not touch me
there,
it is not my place in life
to feel


Where is she? 03/22/04

A headache without pain
but confusion throbbing
and heart torn asunder,
a shudder of held back
white water rapids before
a frothing dammed forced fall
into echoing emptiness
and swirling fog
leaking through fissures…
condensation of core

A whore washed ashore
leftovers of before
contained self-abhorred
still alive, not yet absorbed
into gritted grain.

Where is the thunder
of a beat that once sung sure
sweltering of compose
suspended, facing
exhaled misted azure?

Pain without screaming
gaped open wide,
torrential cascading
curling in self-defense
of fetal position
bearing the belting
rendering mind mindless,
mimed and undefined
yet confined
in a straight jacket of
reasonless rhyme

Scruffy, soiled, decomposed,
a scarf frayed and thread bared,
scattered pieces of uncared,
alienated, unprepared
to embrace again.

Where is the fluttering of
wing-tips on budding leaves,
the spring in ones smile
singing I know, I see,
I believe?



Haiku 04/11/04

tiny buds layered
white lilac tree sprouting
a fresh new chance



Staying Time 04/11/04

He speaks with such I understand
taming ocean and feral land
singing prose, same felt compose
he knows
I fear he knows

yearning deep in coral keeps
treasure moans and sifts soft sand
shipwrecks settle and sighing sleep
lightness darkened on command

forests tangle rustling rage
of passion wild, controlled then caged
leashed, unleashed with thrashing rains
electric storms, carnal, ingrained
he bites, i arc, he stands, i kneel
his touch, my soul, his song, my seal.

He speaks with such I comprehend
unleashed passion, unfettered ends
a masterpiece, ferocious song
a symphony clashing, echoes long
two as one, breathes combine
ravaged heartbeats staying time



Only 04/13/04

gilded stake thrust
through my heart
shattering existence,
steadfast
sliced
suspended with
no reason,
halting aged consistency

fixed,
fettered embodiment,
no width of writhe
scraped breath
shrouded being,
faceless
enslaved
shackled soul,
stubborn impasse
of mind

I struggle
fervent,
fierce,
defying you,
denying me
riotous desperation
unruly
yet
deeply dreaming
and revealing,
seeing
you gently
reach,

you
wanted to touch me
only



Counting Strokes 04/19/04

my ass burned
twisted and turned
seared by you

lashed fiery red
black and blue
your whips hissing
kissing
licking flames
of your name
ingrained
into me

then the touch
of your tongue
blazed
with same
intensity
making me beg

gasped and rutting
as you teased
clit to slit
with your cock
just a poke
not too deep
then so slow
sliding in

yes I begged
and will do
many times
again
to fuck deep and hard
my cunt
to bruise it too

grunting please
nails knit and squeeze
pushing back
moaning begs
repeat
Sir more
use your whore
fuck my ass
deep
hard
please

take all of me
with the heat of your beat
strike of cane
throb of paddle
you say my name
another stroke
counting insane

may i please count
backwards for you?


And a bit later he did make me count backwards for him. It was so beautiful he would do this and doing this.

[Ezzrai]

Haiku 04/26/04

magnolia flower
sun swept evergreen
underneath


Just a little 04/26/04

For every swirl
whetted splash
upon your tongue
every burst of taste
upon each tiny bud
when you drink
that I could touch you

the warmth of your look
blushing me
one way or another
your eyes electric
catching me on fire
and I glow
wanting to reach you
without taking a breath

to join two into one
lightning meshing
cast from the clouds
striking fierce
cracking, splitting
exploding shrapnel
and splinters of wood
catching seared
charred instantly
from the heat
of our bodies colliding
yet so soft

almost as whipped through air
that feeling
of not touching a thing
and nothing, you
just lightness
and the wind
flowing through
and around
touching every pore
and nerve ending
gasping awakening

and if that is gold
then all is gold
even the smile
I first see forming
in your eyes now
and the tug of one muscle
so deep
twitching your lip
another breath of air
and you want to lick it
to feel more...

just a little
I would tempt


Tendered Embrace 04/26/04

It was music and dance
last night
alone in the house

coolness kissing bare skin
hiss and whisper
passing space
no thoughts
just song with grace

my body spoke for me
beckoning
calling
eyes closed
lips wet and parted
head back
arced
arched
a semicircle of waves
as arms sway
and hips delay
then rotate

an immersed portrayal
of rhythm my words
cannot say
fluid pace
pulsing cadence
of emotion
in motion
tendered embrace.


This was written for His slave

Loving, chaste 05/13/04

I take rays from the sun
and braid gentled wisps
then lean, extend,
tender touch your face
a wistful caress
from white willowy clouds
a whispered wish puffing breeze
to see you smile in your sleep

In flower-flung meadows untold
to sprout a grass length
and tickle the nape
of your neck as you lay
where infant veiled hair
curled in baby brown tendrils
to kiss wet with dew
and sighingly breathe
then evaporate, condensed into you

How I ache your embrace
a misty trickled teemed pain
bleeding heart-wrenching deep
shivered wolves’ howls by the bay
that reflects peaceful wavered delight
in the morning hushed rise
I doting kiss your closed eyes
loving, chaste


Hovering 05/23/04

Gusted winds blustery blow you down
hard upon the ground
grinding dirt and sod into clefts
soiled cloth
soiled reasoning
too tired
you lay
let gusts cover
whole with gardens of weed
until feeling
minuscule,
that tiny seed
parched, thirsting
yet too small
to reach dewdrops
hovering over the breach



Sprawling sunbeams 06/08/04


pulsing laughter painted and dripped
blustery swaths of meadows green
cloud-shadows rippled the surface
sifting patterns of olive to darkest leaf
so like a boundless sea of trees

and i danced temptress gypsy free
daring rebelled child of antiquity
gathering bouquets of rootless breeze
windswept wanderer with dandelion seeds
blithesome barefoot tag with sprawling sunbeams



untitled 06/10/04

chain me under
the sea water
slippery dark
crevice of cold currents
nip and pinch
grasping nipple
electric twinge
as i float
free
buoyancy
sometimes a rutted flow
of scrapes
heated fleet
gnawing teeth
then soothed by lapping tides




Haunted Harmony 06/16/04

She swims into crooked cleft
of luring mists to Inverness
yearning strengthens with her call
a siren’s unsung haunting song
a whispered breath drowned by tide
and roaring howls of ocean side

here, somewhere through this shore
someone plays a keen compose
intoning free by fingers lean
resonating spray, lingering
on notes and keys of salted sting
lifting eyes on hearts of wing

surely this must be in jest
an endless search through barren mess
tangled wires, old fishing nets
a trap to capture, raise hopes…
confess!

still melody, the tones played
beckons her, appeals her name
as is her reason, she must respond
to release and sing along
this haunted returned harmony
perhaps, perchance
just to see…



Howling at the half moon 06/16/04

pitch black dark
buzzing bugs of June
hollowed TV
crazy wind
restless blue
a nothing feeling
just ride it wild

pour a whiskey
sit outside a while
fighting off memories
claret shadows in my eyes
bird dog in a wired cage
howling at the moon
just a half moon

asphalt glistens
no one sees my message
in their flurried flight
and i fumble
would it help if i cried
dark and silent
some other day


idle echoes 06/27/04

fingers tapping,
idle echoes, empty
and restless heartbeat,
blue tips paint
sleet
against rattled pain.

tears trickled,
nacre-gray frame, reflecting
the absence
of you.



Unseen 06/29/04

high-riding on waves
never-ending, ebbing
and rising
lapping the shore
with lusty moaning, rolling back
into a higher wave.

mind screaming, soar
bursting forth,
somewhere,
anywhere,
complete pressured explosion
vocalized,
untamed,
giving madness
handing everything over
to You.

pain tearing across, heated
searing,
flashing lashes,
exploding insanity
for a moment, ripping
through my mind,
to tender ripple

or heated touch,
soft embrace,
wetted lips,
soothing grace
and intelligence.

then Your force again.

my place upon knees,
trembled shivers,
fluttered breath
as you enter the room, muscles
clenching and unclenching,
then calm
enveloping Your warmth,
radiating forth,
feeling
instead of seeing.

Your voice...
You know how untamed i am,
untouched,
and slowly
You have been showing
everything.

so gentle and patient, encouraging
a blossom
nurturing
a bloom
slowly inhaling.

and tease
so creative,
intensity
matching and overriding,
always surprising,
pushing more......
beautifully.

and,
although You see all
to never be able
to tell You this….....


submissive…06/30/04

untaken, trembling
inundation of madness
waiting for You to flood me
with such fierce ownership
tremendous command
intense voice
invigorating touch
utter develop
Yours

fire at bay, on edge
expelling shallow gasps
in tormented anticipation
my heart peals with Your pleasure
accepting Your pain
with such joy at
perceiving Your peace
unleashing You
set free

abandoning myself
a mere meager mold
putty for strong hands
my heart, mind
body, soul
all that You want
please take,
Yours

the chain You locked around me
heavy in its form
cold…
heated, melding me
to enlightenment
leaving me
free
to be
complete

[Ezzrai]

(c) 2005 Ezzrai All Rights Reserved

ere the second time

Should have quit
the first time
this banished earth
grumbled guttural
then held back
ere a second rift.

Should have said no
I cannot hold firm
to the side of cliff,
just let go,
tumble over
with weakness,

not hold on for
honey sweet promise,
eyes closed by
dreams made up,
what might be,
possibilities
unknown, unseen.

Now I find this avalanche
of rubbled gravestones
on top of me,
hearing echoes, cries,
haunted pain
from those touched by me.

Should have quit the first time
a raindrop fell
ere the storm
eroded footfall,
turned slippery,
before the quake.


Blind sighted

He condoned it
I whispered to soft tears
in grey mourning breeze,
shearing length
of hair grown, the year
I had known him
and cared,

remembering a time
as a child doing the same,
disavowing god
and parents with betrayal,
hurt, disbelief,
pain,
so much pain…

it’s silly
because hair doesn’t feel a thing,
as ratted wisps of disarray
stick up in half curls,
but he touched there,
caressed it.

I cannot cut out my heart,
it still beats.


you only had to ask

All that was needed
to be done
was ask me to leave
in silence,
with simple honesty

or let me be
the first time I said
I could not continue,
that this was too much,

please listen to me

but to use
a barraged battery,
feigned battlefield
of abuse, abused,
misuse…

so misguided
it even left my muse
silent, confused

…then you deny it?

Playing more with my mind
and emotions.