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kittenfemme
07-02-2003, 05:26 PM
Ok... I'm not sure what happend to my post. Consider this a reposting.

Please forgive the near copy and paste from an e-mail, but I'm a little short on time:

I've never been all that attracted to the idea, but lately I've had a yearning for it. I'd love to see how much water I can hold, and be forced to hold more and more as the weeks and months of training progress. And, of course, being roughly fucked in the ass afterwards would be lovely. *Cheshire kitty grin*

Maybe the topic disgusts you. So be it. Forget I asked. But I would be very grateful if you've info, insight, or know of a resource that you could point out. I want to learn more about it before suggesting it to my Mistress... which presents another dilemma.

I absolutely HATE suggesting things to a Dom(me) when I'm their sub. The last thing I want to do is top from the bottom. Does anyone have a few suggestions on how to broach a subject like this with a Dominant? I've already dropped a few subtle hints. I'm so scared of just outright telling her. What if she's offended? What if she is upset and thinks that I think she isn't good enough for not picking up on my desires?

redEva
07-02-2003, 06:53 PM
in order to build and maintain any relationship, and especially one so complex as the one in this life style, COMMUNICATION is the must. There is big difference between topping from bottom, and conveying your desire or ideas to your Master/Mistress. Subtle hints sometime work, sometime not. I dare to say it would be more likely for Mistress to pick it up than it is for Master, but in any case if there is something you have a desire for or on the other hand – you definitely do not enjoy (are disgusted by, something that ruins your experience of the scene) you should convey that to your Top. Top might oblige you and incorporate your ideas in the scene or not – that is His/Hers call and that is where the power lies. But in order for both of you to be able to experience new and exciting developments of your relationship you have to communicate.

Now, speaking from my own experience – there is nothing harder for me than to let Top know what i wish for. How are you going to reveal your desires to your Mistress is up to you. If i might suggest – maybe you should offer to read her the story, one that you particularly like ( ;) of course find one where you could put yourself into a position of a poor slave being forced to experience degradation of terrible enemas... ;) )

She might get the hint. Good luck!

kittenfemme
07-02-2003, 08:08 PM
There are a few other desires such as this that I would love to be used against me that I don't have the courage to pursue otherwise. I'd have to be forced into them... and I want that so badly!

Of course, you're right redEva. Communication is vital to any relationship. How can someone properly gauge action or reaction if they don't know the circumstances or stimuli involved? Absolutely correct. Thank you for being the kind voice of reason against my fears.

Thank you also for the story suggestion. I've often written to my Dommes and included this fantasy or that fantasy. It's always been something we've discussed that I knew she liked though. I've yet to enter new territory using that route. Perhaps that's the perfect avenue. I will consider it. In the meantime... any other suggestions? I usually feel that different perspectives are invaluable.

Though I'm still going to wait a bit before taking any action to let my Mistress know of wanting enema training. I honestly don't know what's involved. I only know what's in my fantasies. But perhaps that's enough.

Maybe I should just make changes to my checklist (which is used as part of our contract to state limits and what not), hold off until our contract is up at the end of this month, and hope she notices before renewal? But that seems so petty.

Gah! Why does this have to be so difficult?

kittenfemme
07-02-2003, 08:13 PM
Oh, and ROFL @ "you could put yourself into a position of a poor slave being forced to experience degradation of terrible enemas"

Though... yeah... that's the general idea!

:D

BDSM_Tourguide
07-02-2003, 08:42 PM
The best way to get something you want is to ask for it. Asking your dominant to undertake an activity with you is not topping from the bottom, it's taking initiative. If nothing else, it's expressing an interest in a specific activity. Either way, asking her to do it to you will get the point across quite well.

If you have no other alternative, you can come here and I'll do it to you... for free. LOL

kittenfemme
07-03-2003, 07:12 AM
*perk* Oh, what a tempting offer!

Thank you also for your advice BDSM_Tourguide. I've done what you both mentioned and just flat told my Mistress that there are some VERY embarrassing and humiliating things that I'd love for her to consider as part of her toolbox when dealing with me. I haven't laid the actual ideas, one of which is the enema training, at her feet yet. I wonder if I stall long enough that she'll make me tell her? These things are all so embarrassing for me! I'm not so sure that having her torture them out of me is really the only way I could say them. Then again, I get SO wet thinking about those activities! Hmm... maybe a little sexual torture then... :D

I'll probably end up taking your advice redEva. There are a few stories on this site alone that I could use. My Mistress even suggested as much. Thank you again.

I'm still so scared! Telling my Mistress those things will be SO embarrassing! And even just thinking of telling her about them makes me all slippery. *dreamy sigh* I guess I should just shut up, bite the bullet, and tell her, eh?

redEva
07-03-2003, 09:10 AM
seems to me you found great way to get what you want! and even to extensively enjoy getting there! what a wondrous thought! having Her torture you to tell Her how to humiliate you!!! Simply delightful! Enjoy!

Curtis
07-08-2003, 02:36 PM
To deal with another aspect of your original posting, there are many sources of information on how to safely engage in enema play. Start by doing a Google search (enema -- "how to"). This was suggested to me by someone in the Forum who was getting tired of answering my questions about piercing and it really worked!

In another thread, BDSM_Tourguide wrote that enema play can strengthen your sphincter and he seemed to imply that it was a healthy practice (if I'm misinterpreting, I'm sorry). In fact, it is not.

In spite of the number of people who swear by the virtues of "cleansing colonic irrigations", they're just expensively fooling themselves. Enema play is not HARMFUL, if practiced carefully, but it's definitely not a 'good thing' from an intestinal standpoint. A phrase to keep in mind is, "all things in moderation". In this case that refers more to frequency of play than to quantity (which should be more or less self-regulating). The general rule is no more than one day per week. Playing more often than that can lead to 'lazy bowel syndrome', which more often occurs due to misuse of laxatives. The effect is to cancel most peristaltic movement through the lower bowel, which means you now NEED laxatives or an enema in order to "evacuate".

I hope this works out for you. Good luck.