Any submissive mom's out there with small kids?

[alltiedup]

Hi there... I am 30 years old, married mother of two beautiful girls aged 5 and 3. I don't really have a problem but am looking to chat with other submissives in the same situation. I love being a sub and LOVE interacting with my husband as my Master but sometimes I feel kind of alone in our lifestyle because I have nobody else to talk to about it. Absolutely NOBODY in my circle of friends would understand our lifestyle... I feel like I have to hide what we do and sometimes feel well, almost ashamed of it I guess even though it's something I want to do. We have just started taking the sub/dom relationship to the next level and I have joined the Academy and my husband is now assigning tasks for me to perform... I feel wierd (maybe that's not the right word) and don't know how to work our lifestyle into our family lifestyle... does that make any sense? Does it just take time to become more comfortable making that next step in the relationship? Today was my first task and my husband told me to wear nipple clamps off and on for a total of four hours... hidden from the kids, private yet... not private and I felt totally insane walking around the house with nipple clamps on (but don't get me wrong, I was happy to perform the task for him and thoroughly enjoyed doing it). Okay, so now I've rambled on and I'm hoping to find somebody to chat with about being a Mom, wife and submissive... any takers out there? Does what I've said make any sense to anyone? Thanks for reading/listening. It feels good just to type it out... :)

[redEva]

Welcome to the forums, alltiedup!
NO! you are not nuts, insane, weird … or any of the similar things. What you feel is totally normal, unfortunately no simple resolution for it.
I too am married and my kid is 8. We are very liberal around the house, all feeling very comfortable in our skins, with lots of love and snuggles to go around. But anything sexual, even hidden underneath the loose clothes, just does not feel right. So … I know what you are talking about. They say once you have kids the life as you know it is over – and to some extent they are right. We want the best for little ones and that includes protecting them from all the evils, growing up being one of them.
Only thing I found works for me is to “play” when he is not around. That might not be as often as I might like – but, when it is than it is good – and I get to keep my sanity!
Stick around, share with us and I am sure you are going to find what works best for you and your hubby. Good luck :)

[alltiedup]

Thanks for replying... I think you know how nice it is to know you're not the only one out there (even though you know you're not anyways). Crazy. My situation is looking up for having more time by myself to perform tasks. My youngest is now in pre-school two mornings a week and I usually have at least one of those mornings where I'm not helping at her school or my other daughter's school. Next year will be three mornings... year after that every morning... I'm sad about them growing up because I sooo love the toddler stage but I'm also excited about the new phase in life that we're moving into. Anyhow, it's great to hear from you and I appreciate you replying. It feels good to talk to somebody about our lifestyle who isn't judging. I hope we can talk more in the future. Take care!

[His_pita]

Hi and welcome to the board alltiedup. This topic of how to incorporate D/s and children is something that is often on my mind. I will be moving in with my Dom next year along with my 14 year old daughter. We are both very aware of how we have to take things slow and not freak her out with our lifestyle. But, we also don't want to have to hide it and we know that as bright as she is it will come out that her mom isn't exactly like other mom's. I'm lucky that my daughter and I are very good at communicating with each other and I hope to make her understand the dynamics of D/s without having to give her more info then she needs. My biggest concern is making my Sir happy as his sub while keeping my daughter happy as her mom. :dunno:

[alltiedup]

Well since I posted a couple of days ago I've been really thinking about this and I've kind of come to the conclusion that I will mainly be doing tasks without the kids around - which is hard because my youngest is only 3 and only goes out to pre-school two mornings a week. I still felt wierd walking around with nipple clamps on while making lunch, cleaning up, laundry and playing withe kids. When I was alone I felt great, very much enjoyed the sensation and thought about my hubby all afternoon but when I was around the kids it was hard to take my mind off it and I just didn't feel like I could fully enjoy the task. Anyhow, does that make any sense?

As for the sub/dom around the house we don't do anything openly. It's all a secret between the two of us when the kids are asleep at night... we have just started on the Academy and incorporating little things into life to make it a bit more interesting and keep the sex life going. One of my biggest turn ons is orgasm denial and I am not to touch myself without my hubby's permission. I like that - and it's something that doesn't involve much hiding from the kids but in my mind I know and it turns me on!!! :D

Anyhow, it sure feels nice to hear from fellow mom's because working a sub/dom relationship into your family life is hard and I kind of feel all alone with nobody around to talk to. Thanks for replying. Talk soon.

[His Toy]

Wow! Finally another sub in the same shoes as I am. It's hard with kids in the house to be able to continue with your lifestyle. My daughter is 7, and it has gotten to the point now where we have to hide in order to get anything accomplished. It's frustrating. Email me any time, I would love to email with you.

His Toy :)

[Aalid]

I'm with you ladies thank god it's not just me out there questioning these things. I as well am in a very similar situation. My daughter is 6. Anytime you want to chat or email just let me know.

[alltiedup]

Every time I check back there is another reply from a submissive with children... WOW does that make me feel better. So glad to hear from everyone and please feel free to send a message or keep replying to this thread so we can all benefit from the support of eachother. Take care!

[solesta]

I'm here with a 12 year old daughter. I have a Master that loves us both. The kid's dad and I have not been married for 7 or so years now so trying to incorporite the life style with her here has been interesting.