phragmites
12-14-2005, 04:35 PM
Hi! My husband and I are members of an adult lifestyles club that has a pretty well-stocked and well-run dungeon area. I have a long standing interest in submission and bondage, and was in an M/s relationship for a while before meeting my husband, though that relationship was largely psychological and didn't have the fetish accoutrements so I don't know much if anything about dungeon play. My husband doesn't have as much innate interest in BDSM but is open to trying new things and does enjoy my submission.
We'd like to try a scene in the club's dungeon but frankly, don't know where to start, and also my husband gets shy given that there are others watching (though that's of course part of the appeal!) and worries that he won't know what to do.
So my question has 2 parts:
1. Are there things you could recommend for us to do at home alone together to kind of ramp up and increase his confidence? I've thought of maybe switching roles in certain controlled/planned situations, so that I could show him how to do certain things, what they feel like, and maybe convey what I find positive about submission... Good idea or not?
2. Are there specific things we could do as an intro in a dungeon playspace? Internet resources with ideas and instructions? The DM there is very willing to help and instruct, but I think it would ruin the effect for my husband if he had to ask him for a LOT of help -- hard to feel masterful when you're constantly having to say, "umm... and what is this thing for again?" :-) The dungeon is, as far as I know, filled with fairly standard items: a table with various rings to chain you to, manacles suspended from the ceiling, a spanking bench, many whips and other implements, a cage, etc.
Thanks in advance,
phragmites
We'd like to try a scene in the club's dungeon but frankly, don't know where to start, and also my husband gets shy given that there are others watching (though that's of course part of the appeal!) and worries that he won't know what to do.
So my question has 2 parts:
1. Are there things you could recommend for us to do at home alone together to kind of ramp up and increase his confidence? I've thought of maybe switching roles in certain controlled/planned situations, so that I could show him how to do certain things, what they feel like, and maybe convey what I find positive about submission... Good idea or not?
2. Are there specific things we could do as an intro in a dungeon playspace? Internet resources with ideas and instructions? The DM there is very willing to help and instruct, but I think it would ruin the effect for my husband if he had to ask him for a LOT of help -- hard to feel masterful when you're constantly having to say, "umm... and what is this thing for again?" :-) The dungeon is, as far as I know, filled with fairly standard items: a table with various rings to chain you to, manacles suspended from the ceiling, a spanking bench, many whips and other implements, a cage, etc.
Thanks in advance,
phragmites