Burnout

[Aesop]

I posted a question over in the ask a master forum about what to do if domination burnout happens. I'd like the female answers too. What do you do when and if you just don't feel like dominating right now and your submissive is there waiting?

[goodlilcowgirl]

this hasnt happened much when I was in a relationship like that... but he respected My answer of just telling him W/we werent doing anything that night, or I'd tellin him no instructiosn just to torment him because I know how much he wanted to be dominated

[Mistress Orchid]

Interesting question, I hope some others post. I went through this, my sub boyfriend whom I referred to and though of as my pet, wanted my Domination 24-7. It was hard to always be in the role, and I found myself wanting and needing time off. My mistake, was to ignore him on those days I couldnt deal with him, which drove us apart eventually. I didnt trust him to be willing to let me have days off. It wasnt the best way to deal with it, and I regret doing it.

[Barton]

Good question. I believe that all doms must experience this from time to time. Espeecially when you are living it. The best thing is to be honest. It does no one any good to play if you are not into it. The emotional demand is to high to go into a scene empty.
If I am not into it on a particular night I will say so. Then we can do someting else that is not so demanding.

This ability to communicate is what tells you you are with a partner who is on the same page as you. And that is, afterall, a very important thing.

[Brosco]

In my past lives (actually relationships) I have been sub at times and Dom at others. No, I don't consider myself a switch, because the role I took would remain constant for years and I never switched with my existing partner. I am not a sub that tranferred to being a Dom - as I moved back and forth over the years.

From my own self analysis, I realised that I was a sub when I had very demanding professional life and it was relaxing to come home to no decision making situations. When my professional life was less demanding, I had much more energy to be the Dom when I got home.

Occasionally tho, stressful conditions can also arise in the less demanding job, and so the energy is lacking to Dom when I get home. Subs I have had have understood this, and so all I had to do was to communicate with them and say we will have a relaxing evening. It was amazing though, with the pressure removed from having to 'perform', after a little relaxation the Dom side would start showing through again on most occasions, albeit not quite as intensly as usual.

Brosco

[Ruby]

What do I do?

I check in with my Nat, tell him how I'm feeling.

If he still wants to play, and I have the time, I may ask him to take the lead. No, he doesn't have to play the dom/top, I might say ask something like, "If I were there right now, what would you want me to do to you or have you do for me?"

The burnout from before, tends to dissappear in those moments.

If not, and we don't want to play/scene. That's cool. We're friends first, and we have to respect both of our needs, wants and desires.

Perhaps all he needs are a few subbie tasks to keep him satisfied, we'll discuss and assign those, too.

[Mistress Orchid]

What do I do?

I check in with my Nat, tell him how I'm feeling.

If he still wants to play, and I have the time, I may ask him to take the lead. No, he doesn't have to play the dom/top, I might say ask something like, "If I were there right now, what would you want me to do to you or have you do for me?"

The burnout from before, tends to dissappear in those moments.

If not, and we don't want to play/scene. That's cool. We're friends first, and we have to respect both of our needs, wants and desires.

Perhaps all he needs are a few subbie tasks to keep him satisfied, we'll discuss and assign those, too.

Thats a much better way to go about it :)