Why does he do this?

[oneslave4me]

ARRGGHHH, I'm so frustrating with DH. I'm hot and horny and playful, set everything up, started to lure him into the bedroom and he balks and wants to cuddle a while first, he ate too much dinner, he's tired, he doesn't feel good, all of the above. So I cuddle and get sleepy, and try again so my sorry ass doesn't fall asleep frustrated(did I mention I'm completely naked here and am threatening him with all sorts of "good" stuff? And he offers up shaving my legs and pussy, which isn't exactly as aggressive as I had in mind, but still enjoyable. So I cave and agree and now he's pissy because I caved. "If you really was feeling dominant you shouldn't have caved".

Dammit, then get your sorry ass in bed and shut the hell up!

Why does he do this? Why does he feel the need to resist and duck and throw up other options and then get completely pissy when I respect his moods and whining? It's exhausted to practically beg for something we both want.

And hello all, after a long break, I wish I didn't only post when I'm ticked off at DH, but it just seems to work out that way.

[orchid]

well i don't know if this has anything at all to do with it, but i know sometimes when i act pissy about stuff it's because i have been feeling neglected by my Master and i want Him to pay attention to me. it's immature, yes, and it's manipulative, but it usually ends up getting me some form of attention. it doesn't always work out in my favour though and sometimes i am punished for this behaviour, but that too, is Him paying attention when i have felt neglected. i do NOT do this often as it is not my nature but if there are long periods of time where i have [B][I]felt[I][B] that i have been ignored, and i am feeling self conscious and all of those other uncertain things, then i do. i don't know if your sub is 'missing' something or not but i know that is what makes me behave this way. good uck.
orchid

[DevotedSlave]

i too will act very pissy sometimes just to get some attention from my master but for the most part i just do things i know he wont like. punishment is better than no attention at all.

[slave eswn]

what if none of the above work? i am frustrated beyond belief. i've taken the smallest amount of attention, feeling it's better than none at all, but i sure do need more. just asking if my chores are done doesn't constitute attention to me.....just being bitchy i guess. i don't usually vent. just a bad day i guess

[alpha_Straye]

ARRGGHHH, I'm so frustrating with DH. I'm hot and horny and playful, set everything up, started to lure him into the bedroom and he balks and wants to cuddle a while first, he ate too much dinner, he's tired, he doesn't feel good, all of the above. So I cuddle and get sleepy, and try again so my sorry ass doesn't fall asleep frustrated(did I mention I'm completely naked here and am threatening him with all sorts of "good" stuff? And he offers up shaving my legs and pussy, which isn't exactly as aggressive as I had in mind, but still enjoyable. So I cave and agree and now he's pissy because I caved. "If you really was feeling dominant you shouldn't have caved".

Dammit, then get your sorry ass in bed and shut the hell up!

Why does he do this? Why does he feel the need to resist and duck and throw up other options and then get completely pissy when I respect his moods and whining? It's exhausted to practically beg for something we both want.

And hello all, after a long break, I wish I didn't only post when I'm ticked off at DH, but it just seems to work out that way.


well Ma'am it sounds to me like he doesnt want to be talked into it. if he feels he has the option to take it or leave it as he chooses, that it's his choice not Yours.. well that can make some submissives feel insecure about Your Dominance. perhaps if You said Your "get your sorry ass in bed and shut the hell up!" out loud to him at the time? and then made it stick? it might be worth a shot *smile*. it sounds to me like maybe he's wanting to know Youre in charge and wont give in to him.

[sidhewolf]

My thoughts are get> what You Want from him When You Want it. Unless he's deathly ill or something, and You need to consider Health and/or Safety, Y Not?

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Warbaby1943]

I think he does it because he can. If you are to be the dominate one then that is what you should be. Either that or get used to him always controlling the action even when you think you have switched rolls, if that, is in fact, what you think you are doing.

[icey]

My thoughts are get> what You Want from him When You Want it. Unless he's deathly ill or something, and You need to consider Health and/or Safety, Y Not?

Respectfully~SidheWolf
but isnt in some ways that unfair or even wrong?

its a bit of a dilemma as being the Dominant you have the control or should have ,to decide what where when etc,but when it comes to sex it gets into murky waters, if it was a girl we were talking about wouldnt most people jump on the bandwagon and say hey regardless of D/s and all its dynamics you cant really force her? shes a human being as well as a sub/slave etc look for someone else,could there be any underlying emotional issues and such.



or maybe the being pissy is actually because he feels guilt,useless and a failure? and like with anyone especially men (im guessing) that just makes things harder each time, regardless of D/s and it's dynamics, in fact that probably in itsself puts him under more pressure and feel even worse.

obviously i dont know the circumstances and situation and im probably way of track as usual and i apologise if im speaking out of line,but isnt it worth considering all angles?

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

perhaps if You said Your "get your sorry ass in bed and shut the hell up!" out loud to him at the time? and then made it stick? it might be worth a shot *smile*. it sounds to me like maybe he's wanting to know Youre in charge and wont give in to him.


Wonderfully said. perhaps he is testing his limits. Once they are established in his mind, things may improve. Perhaps less coaxing and coddling and more "Do it now!" is in order.

[sidhewolf]

but isnt in some ways that unfair or even wrong?

Not in my way of thinking. At least not by what has been described by the original Poster. The original Poster is the Dominant in that Relationship. She is not being Served as She wishes imnsho. Granted that Anyone Human is a person first. But If one has Commited to Serve a Dominant (male or female), then one is to Serve that Dominant, in the ways that Dominant requires or wishes, and find Joy in doing so, even when having to do something one does not especially like, or want to do. So long as doing so does not break any other Agreements/Negotiations between the Dominant and Submissive, exceed's hard limits, or creates a health or safety issue for Anyone.

In this situation it looks to me as if what is "wrong" is the "pissy acting", sulky, non-compliant Submissive, and the Dominant in this Relationship not being in Control. Not trying to be or sound mean or anything. And I don't know why this problem exists? But my best response to this Dominant Lady is to Take what She wants.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[icey]

i can understand what you're saying and to some extent agree,but i still believe that much of the time people react differently when its a girl.
and regardless of gender sex issues can be an emotional minefield for all involved whatever the onset of the problem or the type of relationship.

[sidhewolf]

i can understand what you're saying and to some extent agree,but i still believe that much of the time people react differently when its a girl.
and regardless of gender sex issues can be an emotional minefield for all involved whatever the onset of the problem or the type of relationship.

<nods> Icey. Many PPL do react differently when the submissive is female. Though I do not.

This is pretty cut and dried to me, within the conditions/Bounderies I have listed. And I do Agree about the "emotional minefield's", not just regarding sex, but nearly anything that deeply emotionally affects a person. None of these were listed in the original Post though. And I know that doesn't mean they don't exist.

This male Submissive may even be a Cuck Natured being? Which may explain a lot, and will bring a whole different twist on this situation as well. But I don't actually know either of these PPL. So best I can do with what was posted is all.

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Warbaby1943]

Not in my way of thinking. At least not by what has been described by the original Poster. The original Poster is the Dominant in that Relationship. She is not being Served as She wishes imnsho. Granted that Anyone Human is a person first. But If one has Commited to Serve a Dominant (male or female), then one is to Serve that Dominant, in the ways that Dominant requires or wishes, and find Joy in doing so, even when having to do something one does not especially like, or want to do. So long as doing so does not break any other Agreements/Negotiations between the Dominant and Submissive, exceed's hard limits, or creates a health or safety issue for Anyone.

In this situation it looks to me as if what is "wrong" is the "pissy acting", sulky, non-compliant Submissive, and the Dominant in this Relationship not being in Control. Not trying to be or sound mean or anything. And I don't know why this problem exists? But my best response to this Dominant Lady is to Take what She wants.

Respectfully~SidheWolf I may be entirely off base here but I get the idea that they switch rolls occasionally. So couldn't it be that he just didn't feel like playing the submissive that night? He does have that right, doesn't he? Another possibility is that he may never really feel comfortable at all in the submissive roll. Maybe some serious discussion is needed here.