What do Submissives want

[Kostly]

What do you 24/7 submissives care the most about?

In specific, I would like things from both a SEXUAL and NON SEXUAL requests to your DOMs.

Also how does your DOMS handle theese requests?

How do you handle general unhappyness when your a Sub? What about what you DOMS do to help chear up your Subs?

[kittenfemme]

Good questions!

What I tend to care most about is not pleasing my Mistress per se (please don't tell her I said that!) but having opportunities to please her. I worry about time and schedules. I adore bathing Mistress but she's a busy woman. But that's a very broad and general thing... scheduling.

I think growth is another thing I think about a lot. I've recently discovered that I have a desire to experience a few things that a few years ago seemed incomprehensible. For example, I want to be trained as a toilet slave. I worry that perhaps my Mistress and I will grow apart. I think I worry more that we will share more and more of the things that I want but that I fear. Though, again, growth as individuals and as Dominant and submissive is a very broad topic.

Hmm...

How's this for specific. I care about my orgasms! Who doesn't? Sometimes I'm pleasuring Mistress with my tongue and I consciously put my needs out of my mind. It's easy when I'm between her thighs! But other times I want to come or even just touch myself so badly that it clouds everything else.

My Mistress seems to deal with each of these things well. She delights in keeping me a wanton little slut (and, secretly, I delight at being kept sopping wet). She manages her time well and allows for me to do things that she likes... dinners, drying her after a shower, long stints of my mouth between her legs, and what not.

She's working the things that I want and like into scenes, sometimes tormenting me with the humiliation of it all. I just had to have the courage to tell her that I have certain desires. She decides if, when, or how to use them. Have you ever been made to beg for an enema? *blush*

As for unhappiness, I'm ashamed to say that I'm a bad girl. I tend to act out so I'm punished. A nice, long session of strict bondage, fierce humiliation, pain, or a little of each followed by a tender night of aftercare seems to do the trick every time.

My Mistress? When I'm down (and not being a brat) she tends to be very, very sweet. Sometimes she'll let me do menial things like completely dress or undress her. Those tasks are like magic.

[Shellyfemme]

Not to be a smart ass but i would like to have a Mistress/Master,

i've made it a point to say how much i've done what i call top and bottem the physical acts: floging, spakings, croping, paddling, single tailing, ect. i love what these things can do for me physically, but being cained for the plaser of a top, and being cain because i'm being punshed are very different

What i would like is to learn what the mental side of D/s has to offer though experiences, and then able to grow from them.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

... when can you get here?

[Shellyfemme]

BDSM_Tourguide

:D i would like that very much, but it will have to wait.

[burger_01]

Originally posted by Kostly
What do you 24/7 submissives care the most about?

In specific, I would like things from both a SEXUAL and NON SEXUAL requests to your DOMs.

Also how does your DOMS handle theese requests?

How do you handle general unhappyness when your a Sub? What about what you DOMS do to help chear up your Subs?

Though not 24/7.. when in sub, i mostly want to be kept wanting.. thats what i care about most.. bieng told to do things.. anything. as Kittenfemme says, its pretty broad.. but its a guide nontheless.
sexual requests.. i like to be kept so hard it almost hurts.. i don't want to be able to touch myself.. i like bieng tied. mostly (unfortunatly) i make requests.. i'd like very much to be told
non sexual.. in the non sexual world we are as normal as can be.. theres not much requests to be made. I love watching her walk around my room naked, in the morning sun.. actually.. truth be known.. if i could i'd make her wear nothing at home all the time (but now i've switched)

how are the requests handled.. hmm.. well generally i get what I want (grr) but sometimes its hidden away until almost forgoten.. then she brings it back up (yum), or better still.. when the request is used to tease me, like a carrort on a stick..

unhappyness? i'm never unhappy.. i've got plenty outside of sex, or even kinky sex to keep me occupied.. i brew my own beer, have been known to make bread, we keep a few chooks (hens), theres a vegetable patch and plenty of fruit trees, on top of that theres homework from full time uni, work, squash, footy.. the list goes on..
I don't have time to be unhappy about sex.. the only unhappyness is not having time to have sex! actaully, this is especially true of long scenes.. thats a little depressing, but instant messaging can be fun. you can send photos of what you want to do to each other :o
thats enuff from me on the subject then
enjoy yerselves out there
Eric

[Mobius]

that the master/mistris is pleased and put her/his cares to the side?

[woodsman'sgame]

Attention.

[kittenfemme]

Originally posted by woodsman'sgame
Attention.

Lol! Duh! :D

[Shaya]

This is my very first post!

As a submissive i want more then anything to please Master. i want constantly to be working on something that he has instructed me to do. It can be something as simple as researching something for Him, practicing some act He wants me to perfect or submitting to a particularly humiliating or painful act. The point is that all of these things are for Master's pleasure and that is what i honestly seek. There is absolutely no feeling as comforting as the look in Master's eyes when He is pleased with me, and none so unpleasent as seeing that i have been a disapointment to Him.

[-angelstar-]

Originally posted by Mobius
that the master/mistris is pleased and put her/his cares to the side?

erm. i dont really think so?

i guess yes, you should care that you're making him happy and doing whatever he wants you to. but that doesnt mean that your needs/wants dont matter.

i guess there're differing views. but approaching it from a viewpoint when you're in a serious relationship with him, i would say that both parties needs/cares should be taken into consideration.

i'm perfectly willing to do whatever he wants me to, just that for things that make me uncomfortable, i need to be given time or at least to talk abt why i'm uncomfortable with it. of course, if i'm just being a spoilt brat and being unreasonable, then yeah, he can spank me after i've had my say :p

[Finding_Fantasy]

I would have to agree with you on that one.

Just because you are a submissive does not mean that you should stop caring about yourself. I would be worried about someone who did only care about their Master/Mistress' needs.

Yes, it is important to please your Dominant but there is a fine line. At least in my opinion.

Now, to answer the origanal question. What do I want? I want to be able to serve TG to the best of my ability. I am not a very sexual person so most of my talents lay in the mundane things such as serving coffee, serving as a foor stool etc. However, what I want from my Dominant is understanding that there are somethings that I just cannot do, that somedays being submissve just is not in me that a lot of the times patience is required.

I eventually come around and am generally willing to do most things. I may put up a little bit of a fight initially but I eventually succumb and do as he asks...most times.

I also want him to help me grow but not push too far too fast or I may lose some of what I have gained. I am a very independant person and if you push too hard I will resist.

How do I handle unhappiness? Same as any other person. Just because I like the occasional spanking does not mean my sorrows are soothed any differently. :) Sometimes all I need is time to myself with a good book and a hot bath. Nothing better in the world than that for me.

[Jones, Nikka]

The short of it, and sorry for being blunt, is that in the BDSM level of my relationship I am a very sexual being and all I want is to be fucked. It just thrills me that my boyfriend and my mistresses will play with my mind and body to do it. I do not care what I must endure, how hard or painful it will be, how long I will wear the bruises, or how much I will cry, scream or beg; if there is a hard fuck and an orgasm waiting for me at the other end, I will take it.

Other than that I want, and fortunately have, an opportunity to learn, share and have fun with him every day. I used to think that having the perfect man for me would assuage my need for punishments and domination but I have learned instead to love him, to love the way he loves me and also to love the way I now need to be dominated even more than I used to before we met.

As for unhappiness, I deal with it the best way possible: In his arms, with a gentle word from him in my ear and a soft kiss from him on my lips. We learned that BDSM is not something we should play when one of us is not feeling good.

By the way, thank you Kostly for asking the question. You just reminded me again of how much I love him and what a lucky little sub-slut I am. I think I will find a crop now and go show him how thankful I am for his love.

[punksub]

What do you 24/7 submissives care the most about?

In specific, I would like things from both a SEXUAL and NON SEXUAL requests to your DOMs.

Also how does your DOMS handle theese requests?

How do you handle general unhappyness when your a Sub? What about what you DOMS do to help chear up your Subs?


I am in a 24/7 relationshi[ with my mistress. Basically for me. The most important things have nothing to do with scenes or sex. I just want to know that I am accepted pretty much. I live to serve my mistress, sexually or non sexually. I think it is just important for subs to feel safe. While not in a scene I like to be treated as a prized possession of my owner. How ever during scenes, I enjoy to be treated as a dispensible piece of property.

In my point of view a 24/7 relationship must alway have the following ingredients. Trust and love for one another and a constant understanding of what is going on emotionally in each other. The dom must be consistent in rules and not let disobediance slide after the relationship has gone on for a while. The sub must never lose respect or obediance from his/her dom/domme. Other than that what is necessary in 24/7 relationships is similar to what is needed in vanilla relationships.

[kittenfemme]

Other than that what is necessary in 24/7 relationships is similar to what is needed in vanilla relationships.

Well said punksub. I think that's something which is overlooked a little too often when focusing on the fantasy aspects. I know that happens to me a lot. Then I'm asked to do some little thing (pick up dry cleaning, not to forget to get grapefruit juice at the grocer, or the like) though D/s means (grabbing my collar, looking down into my eyes, and whispering... but in a very firm tone) and I remember all too clearly that the kinky scenes are wonderful and a part of 24/7 BDSM, but I think it's the little things that make it truly work.

Wow. I hereby nominate that for run-on sentence of the year. :p

[Aquilegia]

Is to be able to give and receive total trust.
Without trust no relationship, whether vanilla or BDSM will work. It is even more important when you give control of your body over to someone else.
Besides trusting that we will not be damaged too much phyically, we need to be able to trust our doms to take care of our needs as well as their own.
Complete honesty is essential to make a D/s relationship work, and trust can only grow from a sound base built on that honesty.