submissive

[slutty]

hi...i wonder if u can give me some advice...i am relatively new to this scene, and have only had one master...unfortunately he wasnt the right master for me ...not dominant enough...but have very recently found a new master who is the complete opposite...i want to be a very obedient sub/slave but not sure if this is possible with the stuff he has mentioned i am to do in the near future...is it true all slaves never say no? :ty slutty xx

[Tojo]

No it is most certainly not true that slaves never say no.

I'm against rules & regulations in the D/s world, but one rule I do believe in, 'if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't'

If this guy is telling you to do stuff that isn't OK, he is NOT a Master, or even a Dom. He's just a guy who likes to push women around. You need to sit down & talk to him, to establish your limits. If he won't accept that, piss him off fast.

Check this site out http://www.submissiveloving.com/
Do a search on this forum, there's a lot of queries similar to yours, for the simple reason that there's a lot of guys who just don't know what they're doing and/or just want to push someone around.

You are the one in charge, slutty- if not you're in a non-consensual relationship, & some guy is breaking laws. Once you establish limits & ground rules, trust & faith in each other, you can get somewhere.


Take care,
Tojo

[Rabbit1]

You are very correct Tojo---In every relationship I suggest a safe word to tell the other partner that you are not play acting that it is time to stop. This should be enjoyable for both partners ---not just one---

[submissivewife]

ok, I am not a Master but had to put my thoughts in on this. One thing I have learned is, if you set a hard limit and you are being pushed on that limit and your partner doesn't honor your limits then stop the relationship. Trust is essential in these relationships. If you do something you are against, your trust for your partener will diminish and the relationship is pretty much lost. That's not say you can't overcome this, but really DON'T compromise on your hard limits.

PM me if you wish to discuss your concerns.

subwife

[Ozme52]

As you become familiar with the scene you'll realize that everyone everywhere warns against such absolute statements such as
all slaves never say no or
a real slave doesn't need a safe word

So careful there chicklet. Your new dom doesn't sound very experienced... or if he is experienced, perhaps he's jaded and has lost his patience.

[Aesop]

is it true all slaves never say no? :ty slutty xx

No. Slaves set limits. If he doesn't think that's acceptable run the opposite direction. I don't know if your relationship is online or in real life, but I have a thread here (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4458) that has some safety tips that might help you out either way. I think I'll be adding to it now...

[saville]

hi...i wonder if u can give me some advice...i am relatively new to this scene, and have only had one master...unfortunately he wasnt the right master for me ...not dominant enough...but have very recently found a new master who is the complete opposite...i want to be a very obedient sub/slave but not sure if this is possible with the stuff he has mentioned i am to do in the near future...is it true all slaves never say no? :ty slutty xx

I agree with the caution offered above.
I had a Master who did not listen to the word "no" and thought that saftey words were for "pussies."
This turned into an abusive situation. I eventually got out of it, but not before I got a broken nose, four fractured vertibrate, and a broken arm.
Please have fun sweety, but incorperate rules into your play as well.

[Tojo]

Sorry to hear all that saville, that's the sort of thing I try & warn new subs about.

Thanks for having the courage to share that with us- while this may be a fun lifestyle for many, new people should know of the dangers.

If I may say so, you didn't have a 'Master', you had a relationship with a bully.

I hope you're OK now & making up for lost time. :wave:

Tojo

[Brosco]

whether you follow SSC or RACK, the most important thing is that you never submit to another until you are happy that your limits will be honoured. Some will say that a slave has no limits! This is total BS. Everyone has limits! Would you f*ck your own 10 y.o son or daughter because you are a slave and that was your Master's order?

To become a slave and have 'no limits' means that you have established knowledge and trust in your partner to know that while you may be pushed, you will never be pushed to the extent of overstepping boundaries.

If its going too far, you need to talk/communicate ... if that just gets a "you a slave... do as I say", you are in the wrong relationship.

I guess I am just saying the same as the others above - just puting it a different way.

Brosco

[imadom]

What do you mean not dominate enough?