Running in the right direction

[Brosco]

As a sub, all at some stage feel a doubt about what they are doing and where they are at. It may be a vague feeling of 'why am I doing this', or it may have been provoked by a specific action of their partner. There will be a time that you want to run, but where you run to is very important.

You have your Dom/me but something doesn't feel right, it is either from a feeling within you, or from an action by him, but that 100% trust has been shaken. The relationship will not be the same until this has been resolved, but where do you turn?

It is very easy to rush to others to ask advice, but the reality is, there is only one person to give you the answer - and that is the Dom himself. When you run elsewhere you really are avoiding the 'confrontation'. For a D/s relationship to work, it needs the total honesty of both sides, and that includes bringing up difficult topics.

That doesn't mean that discussing with others should not be done, but don't expect the others to provide the answer - the answer is in your heart or available from your Dom.

I am a strong advocate of mentors in D/s relationships, but I also want to clearly define what I think a mentor is. A Mentor has one task, and one task alone, and that is to help a subbie get their thoughts in order to be able to go back to their Dom/me with logical discussion points, not just confused ramblings. A mentor does not offer opinion about relationships, nor training, nor any form of discipline. They are an ear to help another verbalise and get their own questions together for the Dom. A mentor should never provide an answer. The answer must come from the Dom or from the subbie's own decision.

So when things go a little strange - where do you run?

Brosco

[submissivewife]

I am a strong advocate of mentors in D/s relationships, but I also want to clearly define what I think a mentor is. A Mentor has one task, and one task alone, and that is to help a subbie get their thoughts in order to be able to go back to their Dom/me with logical discussion points, not just confused ramblings. A mentor does not offer opinion about relationships, nor training, nor any form of discipline. They are an ear to help another verbalise and get their own questions together for the Dom. A mentor should never provide an answer. The answer must come from the Dom or from the subbie's own decision.

So when things go a little strange - where do you run?

Brosco

With my last Master I communcated my dissatisfaction and was open about how i was feeling and what I needed him to do. He had started off wonderfully. Then he just stopped. When I felt deserted i turned to my Sir and to a friend of mine that I met through here. With their help I learned that what he was doing was irresponsible as a Dom. Me, being the submissive felt lost. My Sir is my mentor. He listened but didn't give any actual advice or offer solutions. He was there for me and talked with me to help with getting my thoughts in order and try and figure out on what needed to be done. So did my other friend.

After many attempts with my Master to try and rectify the problem and nothing done on his part, I concluded that I needed to cancel our contract and move on. The descision was a hard one to make and sometimes hard to stand behind, because I loved him so much as my Master. Through my Sir and my friend, I have had the support to keep strong through this. I still falter with "was this the right descision" sometimes. I do know that I am better without him right now.

To answer your question directly....my Sir is who I turn to when things turn "a little strange".

subwife