virgin sub needs guidance

[greeneyes]

how do i begin? how do i learn to please my master?

[submissivewife]

I know you posted this for the Masters around here...but I wanted to suggest that you sign up at the Academy. That is where I first started learning.

[greeneyes]

i tried but it was far to confusing. maybe i will try again. thank you

[submissivewife]

The steps are many but you will be glad you joined. I did when I was there. Just relax and enjoy.

[Tojo]

You can learn a lot from just looking around this site, & all the other ones available.

Seems to me it's something you should be asking your Master, or more like he should be teaching you how to please him?

What's the point of being in a D/s relationship if not to train or be trained? :confused:

All Doms & all subs are different, what pleases one wouldn't necessarily please another- it's a bit like sex, it's something personal between two people.

Tojo

[Brosco]

how do i begin? how do i learn to please my master?

If you have a Master, he will train you - no one else can.

If you are new and asking a generic question about pleasing a potential Master in the future, that is a different question. I will answer that because the first has already been covered.

The way to please a Master is for you to read, question and comment on every thing you see in these forums. Learn about yourself and understand more indepth the feelings that brought you here. You will be far more successful in finding a suitable Master in the future if you are able to understand and describe you own wants and needs.

BTW, if you have your PMs turned on, I suggest you be very wary of any person that messages you with an offer to train you. As I said, no one can train you for another. I could train someone to what I want, Tojo could train someone for what he wants, but even vaguely knowing each other, neither of us could train someone for the other - let alone for an unknown Master in the future.

The only person that can 'train' you for the future is yourself, by getting to understand your desires. You do that by asking lots of questions in the forums, either in topics already started, and/or by starting your own. And don't worry, the members here in the forum are friendly and helpful - they don't bite :)

Brosco

[Ozme52]

And then approach someone that appeals to you. I know it's sort of backward, asking the sub to be the initiator... but as a number of us have noted, both here and elsewhere on the forums, you need to be wary of the predators.

That makes it difficult to weed out the 'grain from the chaff" among those that approach you.

So find someone who you find appealing and see if they're available or open to taking you on...

[_ID_]

how do i begin? how do i learn to please my master?

You question athough simple was about as complex as one could create. Where to begin when learning to please another, specificly a Dominant/Master.

Step 1. Understand what it is you (yes you) are seeking.
Step 2. Understand what it is you (again yes you) are not seeking.

Once you know the answer to those two steps, then you present yourself, you make clear what it is your looking for. The person who takes you in for training will know what it is you need from what it is you have expressed. Should they begin to do things that are in the area of step 2, you will know they are not for you, and you can remove yourself from that situation.

Step 3. Once you have someone you can call Master, you do what it is they ask. Nothing less. Although going the extra mile in the task given is always a good thing.

That's it.

V/R
IDCrewDawg

[The Wizard]

how do i begin? how do i learn to please my master?

I suggest you do an all-inclusive checklist that uses the value rating on all possible activities.

The ratings will go from ''absolutely not going to happen'' all the way to the very things you hunger for in every scene.........your Master should study the list and devise plan to go by where your hard limits will not be breeched during a scene.

In the event your hard limits are too tame to give your Master the desired ''rush'' that is desired you can safely say the two of you are just not compatable........this is where you consider looking for another Master.

[Ingvi]

how do i begin? how do i learn to please my master?

It all comes down to communication.

You both have to know what it is you want out of the relationship/experience so the first step is to sit down together and talk about it.

Using a checklist can be helpful and can make it easier to decide on what your perceived limits are, both hard and soft. I say perceived because they will quite likely change as you grow and learn together.

Remember it's not all about pleasing the Dom. There are two people in any relationship and if you are not getting what you need then the relationship is likely to be short.

Don't aim too high at the start. Take it easy and be prepared to experiment.

Above all remember to play safe and not to give consent lightly.

Hope this helps
Ingvi

[TomOfSweden]

My advice is to go in for it and not be so very afraid, but at the same time be very clear on that you won't do anything you're not comfortable with and that you always make sure that what ever your Master tells you to do, you're comfortable with. Make him in advance realise that he has to respect when you need a break from the lifestyle.

Being a new slave means that you'll probably have a lot of feelings of shame and confusion at first. These feelings should not be ignored. You need to address them and deal with them. Preferably with your Master. The worst thing that can happen is a slave just going in for being 100% submission and then all the repressed emotions make her run away. Open and clear comunication is the key. If the Master isn't willing to listen, then get the fuck out. Atentiveness is the one most important charecteristic in a Master. If he's sensetive and smart enough you won't even need safe words.