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View Full Version : New and Improved Snake-oil Remedy



Ozme52
05-04-2006, 02:34 PM
Do you want a fitter sub?

Is your pony's energy curve is lagging?

Maybe you just want to be in better shape so you don't exhaust yourself when you have your sub over your knee.

Well, I recommend.... Ice Cold Water!!!

Water taken, ice cold in relatively large quantities will help you lose weight and gain energy.

8 liters per day.
One when you wake up, one with each meal, one between each meal, one after dinner and one more before bed.

The Benefits.

Each liter of ice cold water burns 37 Calories, just to warm it up to body temperature.
The cold water affects the gut, making you feel full, (in a way that teas, coffee, or soda just doesn't do,) causing one to eat even less than they would otherwise want.
When the body has excess water, it burns glycogen, converted in the liver from stored fat...

and best of all, when the body has excess water, it doesn't "worry" about getting more water so water retention problems usually disappear.


But Masters and Mistresses (and any unattached subs looking in....)

Best of all, all that water has to be expelled.
Think of the advantages. Do you need to teach your sub more self-control? Or maybe you have a toilet slave who, let's face it... just isn't being kept busy enough.

This can all be yours for the low low price of 1 florin (local.)

(Proceeds will be used to benefit the International Museum of Whips and Chains.)

Qmoq
05-04-2006, 03:07 PM
8 litres? Good lord man, that's about 14 pints, isn't it? The only liquid I could drink 14 pints of would have to have come out of Angelina Jolie's body.

Q

Ozme52
05-04-2006, 03:38 PM
Q, You can do less. But it's 37 Calories per liter. Or work up to it.

The funny thing is, the more water you drink, the more you expel and the thirstier you get. After the first month, the 8 liters are easy...

So I ask myself... why haven't I started doing this again?

Rabbit1
05-04-2006, 08:14 PM
If I mix it with Jack Daniels---does it still count?

Ozme52
05-04-2006, 08:54 PM
Actually, it doesn't. Alcohol is a diuretic. Force water from the body, it tries to retain more. Retain water and you slow your metabolism.

Rabbit1
05-04-2006, 09:18 PM
Oh well so much for drinking water---lol

Uncle_Ed
05-04-2006, 09:56 PM
Since we're advertising.

May I present a new product for the discerning Male?


SLOTHS KNACKER LAQUER
ADDS LUSTRE TO YOUR CLUSTER