View Full Version : Question to Master's/Dom - advice please?
sweetness and light
05-28-2006, 11:51 AM
sometimes i do not feel as though my Dom/Master is taking me as far as He would like to, and i have expressed to Him that i am ready to try something new or go a little further, and he answers "I don't want to push you too fast, your doing fine." how do i approach this with Him that i feel i am ready and want to test the boundries and limits without appearing as though i am testing or questioning His decisions? truly i am not questioning His choices, but i feel i am ready, and i don't want Him to feel as though we are in a stalemate.
For the Dom, learning your abilities and limitations is a constant learning experience. If he is taking things slow, it could be because he is still learning your body. I would head his advise, however, if you want him to push you, dont scream when he spanks/paddles/whips, don't ask to be let out when he puts you into bondage, don't ask him to stop. Don't excersie your safe words. Hold off on asking him to stop as long as you possibly can. Show him your ready for more, dont ask for it.
It could also be he is reminding you he is in control by tempering your request. Moving along with things at his pace, not yours. Again, show your ready, don't ask.
V/R
ID
sweetness and light
05-28-2006, 02:08 PM
thank you so much for your thoughts, after reading them, i can certainly see how what you are saying could very well be true of Him. patience it would appear is something that i need to work on. thank you again.
It sounds as though your Master is doing what's right to me, s & l.
It's far, far better to go a little slow than a little fast.
Maybe you need to slow down yourself & smell the roses so to speak? :rose:
Lovely sig too, btw.
Tojo
sweetness and light
05-28-2006, 03:39 PM
thank you (re sig) and thank you for your words, i imagine, i need to question a little less and trust a little more
Ozme52
05-28-2006, 04:13 PM
However, if you really feel ready, lay out some additional toys for him to use. No comments, no discussion, just make them readily available for your next play session.
sweetness and light
05-29-2006, 05:37 PM
i want to thank IDCrewDawg, Tojo and Ozme52 for their insight, my Master just left to go home after spending from yesterday at 4pm to today at 5pm together, we did a little shopping (wink) came home, played with our purchases, (big grin) then without safe word one, tested boundries and limits, and though my bottom is a little more red than usual, and i find it difficult to walk without saying "ouch", i believe he went home happy, proud and satisfied. So thank you so much! It worked, sometimes saying nothing speaks volumes.
Thanks for getting back to us s&l- glad to hear it's going well. :cool17:
Tojo
Ozme52
05-30-2006, 03:10 PM
We're good!!! LOL
The Wizard
06-01-2006, 06:15 PM
sometimes i do not feel as though my Dom/Master is taking me as far as He would like to, and i have expressed to Him that i am ready to try something new or go a little further, and he answers "I don't want to push you too fast, your doing fine." how do i approach this with Him that i feel i am ready and want to test the boundries and limits without appearing as though i am testing or questioning His decisions? truly i am not questioning His choices, but i feel i am ready, and i don't want Him to feel as though we are in a stalemate.
I have already seen that this issue has been resolved but for future reference i suggest everyone involved in a D/s relationship update their checklists regularly.........it helps to keep things up to the level of desired stimulation,thereby avoiding things becoming stagnant.
her_Joe
06-02-2006, 02:57 PM
truly i am not questioning His choices, but i feel i am ready, and i don't want Him to feel as though we are in a stalemate.
Oh, but you are questioning his choices. I trust you see that.
As others have pointed out, he may want to keep you. That, in itself, is good reason to take it slow.
Trust, for your dom, may be the most important thing of all. And trust comes slowly, and not at all if your "eyes are bigger than your stomach" so that he has to cut you loose from a scene because you have panicked, created a fear of the scene, and now have a question about your own ability in mind as well as about his judgment in "pushing" you.
I agree totally with the suggestions about making your desires known, then simply leave the decision to him and accept. That way there will be no need to question his choices and build doubts and stress in yourself that you should have given up when you pledged submission.
Good luck to you both.
HJ