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Master13
08-19-2003, 12:55 AM
In your fantasies, what level of concent do you prefer?

slavelucy
08-19-2003, 07:14 AM
...for subs as well as Doms??

redEva
08-19-2003, 07:45 AM
Unwilling from beginning to the end! But …. I like the idea of being under mind control to the point where you can not resist it, you are doing it physically, but psychologically you are aware that it is forced on you.

Some might argue that it would be same as blackmail, but I do not think it is.

In the blackmail it is subjects initial unintelligent decision that lands it into the situation where she (usually, cause I only read M/f stories :D) keeps getting deeper and deeper not being willing to cut the spiral.

With mind control – it is out of the subjects hands = totally under control. But even when the subject is in that state, I like to see its inner struggle against the things she finds: degrading, revolting and obscene, but still she has to perform. More than physical pain, it is mental domination that turns me on.

And I do not care for happy subs that love to be beaten!

Just my personal preference!

MrStefens
08-19-2003, 09:26 PM
Originally posted by Master13
In your fantasies, what level of concent do you prefer?

Great question. I like reluctant, but I also really like the idea of mind control. I think its most delicious when the sub doesn't want to do what she is doing on the surface level, or fights against her need to comply, but some inner dynamic compells her to do it anyway, against her will. My own personal preference is that I don't care for the brute forced type of fantasies. I think the thrill is in when she is not physically compelled, but something requires her psychologically to continue...her own sexual desires buried deep, mind control, the personal chemistry between her and the Dom, circumstances.

dav4jon
08-20-2003, 03:18 AM
Originally posted by MrStefens
I think the thrill is in when she is not physically compelled, but something requires her psychologically to continue...her own sexual desires buried deep, mind control, the personal chemistry between her and the Dom, circumstances. I agree with the "not physically compelled" part of your post but I personnally prefer it when the sub accepts to do 'dirty' things or to receive pain for the sole pleasure of the Top.

I love it when the sub is active in her/his own humiliation/degradation.

Cheers

le forgeron
08-20-2003, 05:38 AM
In my fantasies, I would hesitate between 'fully willing' (but shy ?), and "reluctant at first, then willing".

For mind-control, I prefer the kind of "mesmerised": would say no in cool normal situation, but just found itself saying YES in the course of action. Not really mind-control per se, I guess. (but so rewarding!)

buttons_70
08-20-2003, 04:50 PM
In my limited experience it has been willing to submit but as experience becomes more intense, not being able to follow commands.

For example, willing being placed in bondage is giving concent to submission but enduring a hard whipping whilst in bondage is not something i could submit to without being tied up. I just would try to cover myself up which is the natural instinct to do.

Master13
08-21-2003, 12:11 AM
is this question for subs as well as Doms??
Yes, if your a sub, do you fantasize about giving yourself willingly, or being forced? Do you have to be talked into it? Hypnotized? etc.

slavelucy
08-21-2003, 04:36 AM
...i would have to say always unwilling, being forced to suffer (mmmm) for His pleasure is such a turn on. i don't always have to be tied down to be whipped though but at the same time i am still unwilling but under His control mentally (if that makes sense)

sl

redEva
08-21-2003, 05:55 AM
yes - slavelucy ! makes complete sense and, i agree with you!

InnerTemptress
08-21-2003, 03:45 PM
i put willing but to be honest the question confuses me.

if i am submissive isn't the point that i have agreed to do what the Dominant wants and therefore it isn't really reluctance or being forced?

i don't know ...

BDSM_Tourguide
08-21-2003, 07:34 PM
However, the question was posed as "in your fantasies..."

Of course, one knows in real life, that the "rape play" is just that, play. They know that they can use their safe word if the shit hits the fan. It's the fantasy that's so much fun. The mind set.

Personally, I like a bit of reluctance in my fantasies, or unwilling at first, but then comes around. A la Rose Takes a Day Off.

God, I gotta write more on that story. I kinda miss little Rosie.

KlaudiusRex
08-22-2003, 04:01 AM
I think that i have to join with the unwilling side, there is just something that isn't right in my fantasies, if the object in question isn't struggling. The idea of mindcontrol, where the person does it physically, but really doesn't want to, is also a very interesting subject, but in my opinion, it is not nearly as thrilling as total unwillingness, but that is just me.

Master13
08-28-2003, 01:24 AM
I've noticed people saying things like:

I think that i have to join with the unwilling side, there is just something that isn't
right in my fantasies, if the object in question isn't struggling.

...i would have to say always unwilling
Which brings to another related question. Have many you have fantasies that are exclusively about willing subs, how have them exclusively about unwilling subs, and how many have a mix of both?
I personally have had fantasies that fit each of the options given on the poll. I voted for reluctant as my favorite.

woodsman'sgame
08-29-2003, 11:11 PM
I do not like pain. Bondage yes, pain no.
I take the pain, however, out of love, if you can understand that
idea.
And sometimes I cry and beg for it to stop, but I don't want it to stop.
I think for many that is the level of consent that is erotic.

The mind and heart are willing but the body fights back.
The struggle between the two is what arouses.

boccaccio2000g
08-30-2003, 06:00 AM
In terms of literary fantasy, 'unwilling throughout' wins my vote by a long shot. (Some of the stories by Pamela are the exception that proves the rule.) I can enjoy the craft in stories in which the heroine is partially or totally complicit in her own bondage/rape/torture, but they don't give me that electric charge of excitement that the mastery of an unwilling victim does. The sense of suspense and danger, that the victim is poised on the razor's edge must be there for me -- and there can't be much true danger in a situation in which the victim is willing.


R/L of course, is an entirely different matter; no one should ever be forced to do anything that they don't wish to do.

Boccaccio

BDSM_Tourguide
08-30-2003, 08:15 AM
I agree. No one should be forced to do anything they don't want to do.

Stuff like school, work, paying taxes, paying bills, taking out the garbage and changing diapers should be outlawed immediately. LOL

That'll get you thinking.

shytilwet
08-31-2003, 10:25 PM
Wasn't sure if I should answer this 'cos I'm sub........Hesitated between reluctant and reluctant at first then willing and un-willing all the way through. Finally put the last one. Most guys I've cybered with seem to prefer willing, or reluctant then willing. Seems different here.......cool!http://members.wasp.net.au/~sasha/wink2a.gif

masterkurt
09-03-2003, 01:12 AM
I voted for reluctant, but just because it seemed to me something between willing and unwilling.

Of course i play with a willing slave and would not enjoy forcing an unwilling girl into any BDSM or sexual action (wouldn't I?).
But the great thrill is to bring her to do and/or to accept some action or situation she would not have accepted before. ... in my long story with caroline this happened a lot of times ...

For instance giving up the safety word, accepting to be used as a pissoire by me in a first place and by guests later, accepting to be exhibited in various ways .... all in a progressive manner and my satisfaction peaked every time she said: " I don't like to do this, but I believe that, as a slave, I must do it ..."

When she decided to interrupt our relation (after 10 years), she argued that I had done to her the same I do with my horse: if he refuses to jump I shall patiently bring him back and back to the obstacle until he will jump ..... well, she was right and I am proud of this.... but she enjoyed it a lot as well.

Jones, Nikka
10-07-2003, 10:22 PM
In my fantasies, I would always give myself willingly. This is why, in fantasy at least, I do not have any limits. But in reality, I do have limits and, try as I may to force myself to go past them, there is always a point at which I no longer want to go on. At that point, I may be forced to go past my limit. (Usually I end up admitting that I enjoyed it.)
It is interesting to note that in any SS&C BDSM relationship the sub does have the ultimate power, wether it is to impose (I should say request ) a limit or to make the descision not to have limits at all and be willingly forced to endure any and all of the dominant's whims

woodsman'sgame
10-07-2003, 10:54 PM
I would be interested in knowing how doms voted vs subs.

slavelucy
10-08-2003, 05:07 AM
Originally posted by woodsman'sgame
I would be interested in knowing how doms voted vs subs.

yeah, i agree, that would be really interesting....

sl

karel
10-08-2003, 07:11 AM
Hello All,

I find a big difference between real life and fantasy in this. In real life, I could never subject anyone to something she would not want, in fact, my subs usually had to make things very clear to me, even beg to be used some ways. To me, in real life, it is all about fun for two, about a relationship.
Now fantasy is quite a different matter, fantasy is supost to be fun for just one: ME! And in that respect, i just love the idea of a truely humiliated, totaly overpowered slave. The beauty of fantasy is that we do not have to take reality in account. In fantasy, I can hang her girl by her breasts all day, without them turning black and dropping off, but I would never try that in real life. Nice boobies are just to good to demolished in such an offhand way... Going with that is the concent; in real life, I would not like to have a slave that has to be forced all the way, has to be guarded all the time. In fantasy, things are just a lot easier, and everything is possible. Dare to dream...

The fact that I love Indiane Jones movies does not mean I would like to have rats all over me in real life...

Karel

Neopadinski
10-14-2003, 05:48 PM
I voted for Unwilling Throughout, because my fantasies almost always involve the tying-down of a female and raping her while she moans and pleads into duct tape or a ball gag and struggling in vain to escape my cold, perverted touch.

-angelstar-
10-14-2003, 11:48 PM
does participating willingly but after the initial agreement to participate, then everything that happens thereafter is not that willing?

does that make sense?

i think its the idea of being forced that turns me on. if it was all willing and consentual then, i dont think i'd like it that much.

Escritor
10-15-2003, 08:13 AM
Unwilling is a huge turn-on. Both unwilling throughout and unwilling at first but comes around.

I also get very excited when the situation turns around. Like, I'm disciplining and unwilling female but somehow later she just somehow gets out of her bonds and gets me on the bottom side of the story. But maybe that's just because I'm a switch :p

Regards

MrJerseyGuy
10-15-2003, 12:14 PM
This one made me think. I guess in my situation she's under mind control...but more from her own doing than mine. I can hurt her (nipples usually) quite severely and all she has to do is say "stop" to make it end. But she never does. Likewise I derive a certain pleasure from the way she tears me up with her long nails. It's painful at the time, but the next day I'll twist or move in a way that irritates one of the scratches on my ass, back or nuts and that twinge of pain is kind of a turn on because I think about how it got there.

I could never engage in play with someone that is unwilling. I much prefer an enthusiastic participant.

Curtis
10-15-2003, 04:09 PM
In R/L, any of the first three are good.
When I read, any but MC (I skip the MC offerings in the Library).
When I write, I agree with dav4jon, woodsman'sgame and -angelstar-. Most of my stories begin consentually and then "degenerate" into nonconsentual as the woman finds herself in over her head. I wish there was a code for that (sort of the reverse of reluctant).

rallan
11-08-2003, 02:11 AM
I went for Unwilling To Begin With. Most of my favourite stories on this site have a sub who's caught up in things against her will, and over the course of the story he or she struggles with the fact that they're starting to enjoy first the physical stimulation of the forced sex, and then gradually coming to enjoy the actual humiliation of being forced. Ya can't go wrong with a story of a poor innocent who's reduced to greedily wallowing in degradation.



Rallan

fetish101
11-30-2003, 02:18 AM
I'm going to put my two cents in, and that's that nothing get's me more aroused than a good story with a girl that really doesn't want whatever is happening to her to take place.

I don’t know about everyone else, but it's a hell of allot more sexy for me to imagine a slave that really hates the position she's in, but complies just because she has to do whatever depraved sex act is on the agenda or face punishment.

It might be just my personal experience in the subject, which is "no girl would ever want that to happen to her", but man it sure gets me aroused!!