A bisexual switch question

[Timberwolf]

This came up in a chat I had the other day and I thought I'd ask here. For those of you who play both sides of the fence in more ways than one ;-) I was just curious, are there certain combinations that don't appeal to you in terms of combining gender with Dom/sub? Meaning:

A Dominant, other sex partner.
A Dominant, same sex partner.
A submissive, other sex partner.
A submissive, same sex partner.

Do all four appeal to you or are there some that do not? I was talking with a bisexual girl the other day who said she enjoyed submitting to men but liked her women more vanilla, and I was curious how others felt on this.

[gloombunny]

I used to know a woman who was dominant towards men, but submissive towards women. I tried that attitude out myself for a little while, but ultimately I find myself enjoying both roles with both genders.

[Ruby]

I was just curious, are there certain combinations that don't appeal to you in terms of combining gender with Dom/sub? Meaning:

A Dominant, other sex partner.
A Dominant, same sex partner.
A submissive, other sex partner.
A submissive, same sex partner.

Do all four appeal to you or are there some that do not?


For me, all four are appealing.

The stuff of fantasies. There are some very well written stories on this forum and in the library with these pairings. ;-)

[debbieh]

I don't mind any of the four, but considering I lean more to the submissive side of BDSM, I probably wouldn't like too submissive of a partner...

[MsUther]

I don't mind any of the four, but considering I lean more to the submissive side of BDSM, I probably wouldn't like too submissive of a partner...

I`ll second this.
I have never dominated a girl. Irl and in cyber, i have no problem being dominated by a girl, and i do not see much difference between a male and female Dom.

[Asia]

I`ll second this.
I have never dominated a girl. Irl and in cyber, i have no problem being dominated by a girl, and i do not see much difference between a male and female Dom.


I'm the same as MsUther (again!)

I much prefer real life Doms and Dommes but have never felt the need to be Domme with my women. However, BDSM sex with my Dom is always more extreme than it is when my woman is being Domme. I guess I don't cyber that much - if I do, I log off and want to go for real. Cyber ends up being like a wee aphrodisiac kick to get me horny.
Asia
xxx

[TheKnothead]

That just a really good question!
And of course that means I don't have a very good answer.
For the most part I am about as hetero as you can get. I have tested the waters in the past and it's just really not for me, with one exception, for a brief period. There was this pre-op transexual in NYC, and I'll tell you this much, "she" was hot, we both played at top and bottom and we had a ball.

[meredith^]

Vanilla I like both men and women, but I like to be dominated by men and I like to dominate women. But it also depends on the person, I cyber dominated a lot of guys, and I still hope to find a woman who can dominate me.

[Desperadosong]

I'm not a switch persay.... but I have topped other women. When in a bisexual relationship, I tend to be the more dominant one, but submissive with a man.

Ds

[realcurious]

Well: a switch is a switch, the switch gets to choose, that takes care of any gender questions......choice. I have always had females subs: but lately have thought more and more about males: the 'curious' part being whether I would
be DOM/sub/Switch........curious?

[TomOfSweden]

I can't enjoy being dominated by a woman and I can't enjoy dominating a man. I have no idea why and I stopped trying to figure out why a long time ago. I'm just bent this way.

[Sextoymaker]

Well I like to dominate women. I have switched in the past though. I think it is simply up to your desire at that part of your life. I love bi women and understand bi men. I guess this is to say be tolerant and appreciate any lifestyle any other human chooses and to respect their choice in fact enjoy it!

[Amberxiao]

This is something I'm pretty sure of:

Things I'm comfortable doing:

1. Submitting to a woman
2. Switching with a woman
3. Switching with a man
4. Dominating a man

It really depends on the personality of the other person: I know one woman that I simply cannot conceive of dominating, even though she's a submissive - so switching with her is out of the question, and so is submitting to her, so it's never going to happen. Otherwise, though, I generally prefer switching with the same person.

[Crowheart]

Good question...
I can't really imagine to dominate a man... but with a woman, I can be both. It depends on the partner, I think.
But I don't think I could be attracted to a submissive man.:dunno:

[Masters_lilone]

i can switch with either a male or female but i mostly only switch with my master.i need to feel comfortable withthe other person before i can switch with them.My Master is thinking about having me Dom a friend of his once i am living with him.

[angelic.zest]

ive tried the switch role and found out im more comfy as a subbie...im Dom-male and some female...and been Dom by both males and females...i guess it depends on your comfort level with that person and the role your playing...but for me i rather be Dominated by a male *but love playing with chicks hehe*

kurixxx

[switch_hitter]

I like it all myself. There's always something you can get out of it. There are so many combinations of things you can do if dominating, and the sky's the limit as well when I'm being dominated.

[Guest91408]

ha! I was just wondering about this myself...

irl I couldnt see myself dom to a male sub, but I have no idea why. I have done some cyber rp with male subs but its never felt comfortable and I've kinda done it as an intellectual exercise rather than a sexually or arousing activivty. All other combinations mentioned in the original post work for me both online and irl.

As a side issue, does anyone have an idea of the proportion of switchs who are bisexual? Is being bi an indicator of likelihood of switching?

Pain XxX

[kobraski]

i find the thought of dominating a man (i'm female) completely off-putting... i could never do it. and yet with a woman, although i haven't had the chance to do it yet, i feel the opposite way and would only want to be the top.

it worries the feminist part of my brain, but oh well, i can't help it can i?

[DarkSister]

An interesting question and one that has gotten me thinking, looking at the broader interpretation… through one reason or another much of my life I guess has been spent in a submissive role to men and so I think that although there is a part of me that would relish being Dominant to a male sub, its not something that brings me much in the way of mental or sexual satisfaction… all of the other combinations sit well with me, but I am more inclined towards the stimulation, both mental and physical that I get from a same sex relationship.

I was just wondering that, as well as the proclivity and influence of bisexuality amongst switches, which I’m sure must play a part… how common is it with a single couple relationship?

Dark xXx

[WyldWyl]

Hmmm... well. I definately am more inclined to be dominant with a male partner and submissive with a female partner, and in my recent thoughts have developed something of a theory about it. Just some educated guesses, really. But in case you're interested...

I would imagine that this combination has arisen due to two factors, both related unsurprisingly to my upbringing and experiences. My preference to be dominant with a male partner I think stems from that streak of alpha-male competitiveness that a long involvement with organised sport has instilled in me, aside from the base biology underlying it. I've always been in environments that have stressed competition, so it's become somewhat ingrained, I suppose.

I think my tendancy to be submissive with a female partner comes from the era I've been brought up in. As someone who is, shall we say, a little younger than the majority of members on this site, I've grown up in the first era where feminism and gender equality has (argue this all you wish) been an idea we've been exposed to in a long term and pervasive fashion. It's become ingrained to the point where I have to feel very comfortable with a woman before the idea being dominant with her becomes something I can do without an automatic response of chauvanist guilt. I wonder if that's something anyone else feels?

[Beswitchingly Positive]

I think my tendancy to be submissive with a female partner comes from the era I've been brought up in. As someone who is, shall we say, a little younger than the majority of members on this site, I've grown up in the first era where feminism and gender equality has (argue this all you wish) been an idea we've been exposed to in a long term and pervasive fashion. It's become ingrained to the point where I have to feel very comfortable with a woman before the idea being dominant with her becomes something I can do without an automatic response of chauvanist guilt. I wonder if that's something anyone else feels?

This quote is taken from Wyl, I thought this was interesting... I feel best submitting to a "good man" especially if he has been in a relationship with an overbearing woman in the past, it is as if part of me wants to show him not all women are like that...if he has a dominant demeanor it is easy to submit...
Nothing to do with real feminism, but I think some women abuse the power that has been won for them by being...pushy and mean with men.

There is something sexy about finding a man who wants to dominate...it feels natural, at the same time being allowed to dominate that same man is something I find extra tasty, but he has to allow it. He is larger and stronger after all, even if we are the same size...The big power I have is the power to tell him no more, or to continue to say yes please. It might sound trite, but it feels primal.

I am only a tiny bit bisexual, I fall for a girl once in ten years. Women are so complicated, I know I am a woman and I confuse myself all the time. I always have a more dominant attitude with the girls...all two of them. I would bet there is a high percentage of people who are bisexual and switch as both bespeak an odd flexibility.

I think I am more dominant with women because I have never had trouble attracting men, and I don't like women as much, therefore can totally live without sex with another woman, and I can be detached...but men...I am very...addicted to men, I love men and get much more excited for a man...he is therefore more able to dominate me...hmmm.

I am still figuring all of this out.



Of course, this could vary, according to the individual and I have to get to know someone very well before any of it is thinkable, much less doable.

BP

[JulyMorning]

As a side issue, does anyone have an idea of the proportion of switchs who are bisexual? Is being bi an indicator of likelihood of switching?

Pain XxX

Hmm, I think there is some kind of relation between those two. For me being bisexual is the thing that I want to try from everything that seem interesting and not limiting myself only to one of the sexes. That is why I like to switch, cuz it depends on my mood if I want to be dom or sub, though I think I like being dominant more... I feel comfortable in all combinations depending on our mood and the person himself.

[Clevernick]

A female friend of mine is a switch, but not with the same person. She's always dominant in play, submissive when in love.

And she will play with men or women, but only falls in love with men.

Don't know what this all proves, just thought it was interesting.

[moptop]

It is all interesting, isn't it? Personally, I have tried cyber-domming a man but, as PainSister said, it was more of an intellectual exercise. With men, my nature is definitely sub. I have no desire to dominate a man.

I do not have much experience with women - I have been dommed in r/l and totally adored it. I do get strong fantasies about domming another woman. I have cyber-dommed a girl or two - and thoroughly enjoyed it, too. I am working on both of these :D

I don't think I could ever, ever switch with my dom. I do think I could switch with a woman - would have to be the right one. *looks round for her lovely Debs*

I have a sneaking suspicion that being bi is more likely to make you a switch. Whether that means you are more likely to be sub with one sex and dom with the other - I would expect there to be a tendency in that direction, yes. It is two aspects of a duality that most of us need to keep separate, for whatever reason. Practice might allow this separation gradually to disolve or lessen...

[Hime]

I feel kind of guilty admitting to sexism here, but honestly the idea of dominating a guy doesn't appeal to me. :o Other than that, anything goes.

[Gr1m'sGirl]

I'd prefer to be submissive to both males and females... I've only ever loved men, and the more dominant they were, the better the relationship went.

I generally have a hard time playing with other submissives.

Sometimes I would like to try being dominant over another, but I'm not quite sure if/when that will happen.

[Xan_in_chains]

Hmmm... I find that strength is critical before gender. In general I'll bottom for a man and Top for a woman, but the other two can and have happened-If I consider a male partner physically weaker then I wouldn't be comfortable subbing to him. Meanwhile my preference is for subbing to a woman but I have to be convinced of the other person's power over me, and that's just so much more easily accomplished with a man. It takes a little extra for a woman, but when it has happened there's nothing better.

[sidhewolf]

This came up in a chat I had the other day and I thought I'd ask here. For those of you who play both sides of the fence in more ways than one ;-) I was just curious, are there certain combinations that don't appeal to you in terms of combining gender with Dom/sub? Meaning:

A Dominant, other sex partner.
A Dominant, same sex partner.
A submissive, other sex partner.
A submissive, same sex partner.

Do all four appeal to you or are there some that do not? I was talking with a bisexual girl the other day who said she enjoyed submitting to men but liked her women more vanilla, and I was curious how others felt on this.

Hello All~

Timberwolf Great Topic I think, with a lot of interesting responses and points of view. I don't term myself a Switch, but perhaps I am in a sense anyways? The skills first *M* instilled in me, and the vast experiences I was exposed to, gave me a bit of a twist on things I think <G>. Though i am definantly a Power Shifter.

For Your questions I'd answer; All of the above on a Person by Person basis. In my being a PanSexual Polyamorous sort, sex of a Person does not matter or determine who we are to eachother from my standpoint anyways <shrugs>. It is First *Who We Each Are* as PPL, then the Relationship between us that does that, or makes that determination. *To me* PPL are PPL. I have been and remain Open to all possibilities, from a Growth standpoint. I don't judge Anyone based on their sex, or judge Anyone period. Though I do my best to utilize good judgement in relating to and with Others. And I am a very Honest and Open Person. So what does not, or may not, "appeal" to me, has not to do with the sex of a Person at all, but Who that Person is to and with me, and I to and with them.

I don't know if this helps or clarifies another possibility for You?

Respectfully~SidheWolf

[Anth]

Even though Ive never been Dominated by a man or Dominated over a woman, all four sound great. Excellent thread! Ive always wanted to know others' opinions on this subject

[Clevernick]

Not speaking personally, but a lady friend of mine is dominant in play toward anyone (of either sex) but her special man, to whom she must submit. She will not play submit to anyone.

[ediegir]

I am fine with all four, I switch with my current partner but I do tend to slip into the role most preferred by whoever I'm with, whether male or female. It's interesting to see other opinions on it.

[Hime]

I feel kind of guilty admitting to sexism here, but honestly the idea of dominating a guy doesn't appeal to me. :o Other than that, anything goes.

Revised! Since I posted that, I have met some hot submissive guys and very much changed my mind, and have lately been looking around for guy to domme. I think I was reacting more to the mental image I had of "submissive men" than I was actually listening to my own sexuality.

[LadyAznTiger13]

Hmmm I would have to say any of the 4 works fine... dom males are at a disadvantage to me but I give them all a fair chance...it all depends on the chemistry between that person. When you get a feel of them, you know which role would suit the best. But maybe thats just me.

[SnickerKitten]

Wow, at the time this post was new I was thinking about this very topic quite a bit! Here's what I've come up with:

1- For Ragoczy I am only submissive, if he ever let me top him that'd be over. Since I'm married to him that could cause some problems!

2- I can't submit to someone I've seen submit to someone else.

3- Never tried submitting to a woman, it would be an idea I'd be open to exploring except that Rago does not share. Again, though, she'd have to be purely dominant.

4- I like topping girls :) I REALLY like topping girls :)

5- I only like topping boys that are extremely submissive, gimme a sissy any day.

6- I have no vanilla interests whatsoever. Hell I can't even get off with purely vanilla sex *sigh*

7- I can't submit to someone unless sex is somehow involved and I need to have a Dom that is very nurturing.

8- I don't need sex to be involved to top someone.

9- When topping, I can be a sick, evil bitch OR a kindly, nurturing top

-kitten (who identifies herself as a submissive that tops.... not really a switch)

[steelish]

Hmmmm. Ok for me it's different depending on the dom/me or sub that I am interacting with.

When I am submissive to men, I tend to read the Dom, and act accordingly. If he is strict and severe, I get more submissive. If he is playfully dominant and nurturing, I get more like a little girl. I prefer the harsher, stricter and (hopefully) sadistic dominant myself, although I would expect reassurance and warmth from him at times.

When I am submissive to women, I read the domme (just as I do with men) but curiously, I have a much harder time reading the women who top me. I am not sure why that is. With women I prefer a balance; Harsh then gentle, teasing and cooing then getting harsh again.

When I domme a man, I prefer to domme a very masculine man. I want to feel as if I have a caged tiger that could explode on me at any second. I like to tie him up and then tease him until he is practically breaking out of his bonds in an attempt to cum. (and if it is a man who is into pain...well, we REALLY have something boiling here!) *grins*

When I domme a sissy boy, I like to be nurturing yet create the humiliation scenes if he craves that. For me...sissy boys are like playing dress up with a girlfriend. (with cbt thrown into the mix)

When I domme femaies, I can go either way with them. I read them and determine what their kink is. We just "flow" from there. I don't really have a preference.

[subserviant]

i way prefer being dommed by another gal,but having said that i also enjoy domming, but it has to the right sub, male or female .before i domme a male sub, i make it clear that he has no limits and i can do what i want .Not to hard to find in a male sub ,but not many female subs will accept what i want to do .oh well whats a closet switch to do

[voxelectronica]

I'm a bit genderqueer.

I am only Dominant with women. However my definition of women is a lot larger than most. Women can have a penis to me as long as they identify with being female. I don't like submissive men and i will not Dom men unless they are open and willing to feminization either forced or willing.

The gender in my head also changes with what role I'm taking. When I am dominant I'm a boy. When I'm submissive I'm a girl. I would only be submissive to a girl who was at the time identifying as male.

I have really nice fantasize. *smile*

[thir]

A Dominant, other sex partner.
A Dominant, same sex partner.
A submissive, other sex partner.
A submissive, same sex partner.

Do all four appeal to you or are there some that do not? I was talking with a bisexual girl the other day who said she enjoyed submitting to men but liked her women more vanilla, and I was curious how others felt on this.

To me that all depends on the person. People's personality and BDSM charisma is much more important than gender.

thir

[thir]

i can switch with either a male or female but i mostly only switch with my master.i need to feel comfortable withthe other person before i can switch with them.My Master is thinking about having me Dom a friend of his once i am living with him.

You are touching on something I have been wondering: I cannot switch with the same person, or at least it is very difficult for me. My relationship to someone is either one or the other, and remains that way.

Does anyone else experience it like this?

thir

[leo9]

You are touching on something I have been wondering: I cannot switch with the same person, or at least it is very difficult for me. My relationship to someone is either one or the other, and remains that way.

Does anyone else experience it like this?

thir

It depends how it's played. I would have trouble doing it in D/s scenes, because I can't feel like a devoted slave and a Master to the same person. But I have had fun sometimes with revenge scenes, where I play an abused and degraded prisoner, maybe even submitting for a while, then "escape", overpower my tormentor and break hir to my will.

I have known switchy couples who can play all night at "this is for what you did to me last time".

[fantasien]

I think my tendancy to be submissive with a female partner comes from the era I've been brought up in. As someone who is, shall we say, a little younger than the majority of members on this site, I've grown up in the first era where feminism and gender equality has (argue this all you wish) been an idea we've been exposed to in a long term and pervasive fashion. It's become ingrained to the point where I have to feel very comfortable with a woman before the idea being dominant with her becomes something I can do without an automatic response of chauvanist guilt. I wonder if that's something anyone else feels?

[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]
Nothing to do with real feminism, but I think some women abuse the power that has been won for them by being...pushy and mean with men.


BP

I feel the same way. Its like women noticed they had this power and took advantagew of it and took over! thats total disrespect. and i dont like it when they dont stop and actually listen without flooding themselves with their own delusions of what a man is.

[fantasien]

as far as the subject goes, i feel like i am still exploring it. But i am finding now that i might be a switch. i feel submissive in certain instances and Dominate in others.

But it also through my experience in the last couple weeks, that i am learning as a sub ( rather a bad one at that) i need more discipline i think. But i also feel that though my lack of discipline that it makes me wonder if i am dominate? or is it that i am just a bad sub that can't control myself? i'm noty sure.

i know this is all new to me, and i want to learn and be trained as a good sub. but how can i do that when i'm not really financially ready to support this lifestyle? So far i have an internet relationship with my DOM which lives in Arizona and me in the San Fransisco Bay Area.

[Spankmeplease2009]

All four have their appeal with me. I am a men and have had gay sex. I have been dominated by a man and a women and I have been a dom to a man and a women...I have had 2 partners in my life. 1 man, 1 women. I am bisexual but I "lean" towards sex with women. Women are my preference but at the same time I do enjoy fooling around with a guy.

I think being spanking by a man, for me, has a different psychological effect on me. Not better, not worse, just different and appealing. Same thing when I spank a man.

[leo9]

Revised! Since I posted that, I have met some hot submissive guys and very much changed my mind, and have lately been looking around for guy to domme. I think I was reacting more to the mental image I had of "submissive men" than I was actually listening to my own sexuality.
Learning is good. Malesubs do get a bad image, porn tends to present them as crawling wimps, and commercial porn is so focussed on the domme that they seem to reckon any slob will do to play the sub.

[denuseri]

<<<Agrees 100% that the main stream porn industry has painted a very inaccurate image of male submissives.

[Amouthfulofsin]

Hmmmm. Ok for me it's different depending on the dom/me or sub that I am interacting with.

When I am submissive to men, I tend to read the Dom, and act accordingly. If he is strict and severe, I get more submissive. If he is playfully dominant and nurturing, I get more like a little girl. I prefer the harsher, stricter and (hopefully) sadistic dominant myself, although I would expect reassurance and warmth from him at times.

When I domme a man, I prefer to domme a very masculine man. I want to feel as if I have a caged tiger that could explode on me at any second. I like to tie him up and then tease him until he is practically breaking out of his bonds in an attempt to cum. (and if it is a man who is into pain...well, we REALLY have something boiling here!) *grins*

When I domme a sissy boy, I like to be nurturing yet create the humiliation scenes if he craves that. For me...sissy boys are like playing dress up with a girlfriend. (with cbt thrown into the mix)



I agree with you.

The only difference is that I would not like having another woman top me - the few times that I've tried it, I've actually started laughing, which was decidedly counter productive, and embarassing for her.

I like to be dominant in f/f relationships, and I can get pretty vicious too - so I prefer a woman who's a diehard painslut.

Also, when a man who's Domming me decides to bring other subs in the mix, I don't like to be equal to any of the others... I discovered I'm an alpha , and I was very happy in the situation where I answered to Him, and the other women answered to me as well as Him.

Good times were had by all...

[thir]

Good times were had by all...

Yeah! As is generally the case when everybody knows what they want and goes for it:-)

[thir]

This came up in a chat I had the other day and I thought I'd ask here. For those of you who play both sides of the fence in more ways than one ;-) I was just curious, are there certain combinations that don't appeal to you in terms of combining gender with Dom/sub? Meaning:

A Dominant, other sex partner.
A Dominant, same sex partner.
A submissive, other sex partner.
A submissive, same sex partner.

Do all four appeal to you or are there some that do not? I was talking with a bisexual girl the other day who said she enjoyed submitting to men but liked her women more vanilla, and I was curious how others felt on this.

I would like to add a question: does anyone feel that these things change with time and circumstances?

[Ozme52]

I would like to add a question: does anyone feel that these things change with time and circumstances?

An interesting question I look forward to hearing answers to....

...for, from the perspective of a die-hard dominant, I would say yes, it has to. Even for me, what I look for in a sub changes with time and circumstances. I'm lucky to have a girl who grows and changes with me.

It would appear, from my perspective, that folk who are less rigid in their D/s orientation are going to be even more open to such changes.

But that's me, looking in from the outside. :wave:

[thir]

An interesting question I look forward to hearing answers to....

...for, from the perspective of a die-hard dominant, I would say yes, it has to. Even for me, what I look for in a sub changes with time and circumstances. I'm lucky to have a girl who grows and changes with me.

It would appear, from my perspective, that folk who are less rigid in their D/s orientation are going to be even more open to such changes.

But that's me, looking in from the outside. :wave:


Personally I went from sub - well, not sub actually, and not bottom - to dominant, to switch - sort of. Words too imprecise, I do not know what to call things..
But changes, anyway.
I have seen the same developement in some of my friends, but for different reasons.

I have also experienced all of these needs being pushed to the background in various periods of my life, when survival claimed everything for a while.

[tigerdom]

For me it depends on the person but I am more willing to be sub to another female than I am a male. I for some reason have a hard time letting a man dom me. I will with the right man, but I would rather dom a man. As for a woman I am at thier mercy.

[subrob99]

I definently have fantasies of being dominated by both a man and woman at same time. Especially to be blind folded and not knowing what is coming and who it is coming from

[the_moirae]

A Dominant, other sex partner. - very appealing
A Dominant, same sex partner. - moderately appealing
A submissive, other sex partner. - low to moderately appealing, on occasion
A submissive, same sex partner. - moderately appealing

Combos and sharing w/in these parameters appeals as well...

[socal_dan]

I'm probably kind of strange about this... I'm not particularly attracted to men, but I would sub to the right guy if the time was right. I'll go either way with women.

But when it comes to being Dom to another man, it's completely out of the question. I've done this, as a favor to a poly friend who wanted to sub with one of her SOs, and it was just a complete turn off.

To be rather explicit about it, the idea sexually doesn't work because I couldn't force myself to submit to handling another guy's junk or having it "handled" in any way (I could dress up if you wanted me to dress up, order you around, punish you, what not, but on my end it's just really not interesting). But I could totally go for being forced to submit to this buy somebody else.

I suppose you could sum that up by saying I'm not really attracted to other men, but I'm mildly attracted to the idea of being forced into playing with other men.

[Leandra]

Mmm...I've dominated men and women, and been dominated by men and women. All four are very appealing to me. Though nobody has been able to leash me yet. ~G

[Liushka]

I was only ever dominated by one person, my fiancé. Beside him, I am on the dominant side.

I'm not interested (anymore) in dominating men because I don't find it fun by now (which is also why I love having found my fellow alpha with Keltar) but I love dominating women (I never had any interest or inclination to be dominated by one).

[Pegao]

sort of in the same situation as Liushka.. only ever enjoyed being Dommed by my current partner.. fellow alpha situation ;)

otherwise.. being Dom to another male sub.. I really like. in the past have done exercises with female subs.. which can be fun but depends a lot on the sub.

would also say.. im really not interested in Domming 'stereotypical' male subs.. crawling sissy boy dont do it for me.. would much rather have somebody i cant break over my knee.

[oObunnyOo]

i find i like any of the four combinations. Gender isn't what determines who i wish to dominate and/or submit to. i can't sub for someone who is less dominant than me, no matter if they are male or female. i was trained by a Mistress and i am all subbie for Her and Her Husband. Though my Husband isn't interested in the Lifestyle, He is still more dominant than myself and i find my subbie behaviors come out with Him too. i've also topped other subs for the amusement and entertainment of a gathering, be them male or female and i've trained a bitch boy. So yeah... gender really isn't an issue for me. It's more about personality and aura.

[mkp]

Hmm. This has been pretty interesting, reading everyone's replies. I know my take on the subject is confused by the fact that I get really anxious about things, even just chatting with people, much less playing with them. So, for me, I'm least anxious/not at all anxious with female subs, and from there the anxiety level increases as follows: female sub < male sub < female switch < female dominant < male switch < male dominant.

Peculiarly, I feel most drawn to being dominated by a man, which usually scares me and makes me go running for my feminist books, but some dommes appeal to me too. I'd play with dominating a man, and that would be fun, but I think I'd be more likely to get into an actual scene relationship with a female sub.

weird how our brains work, isn't it?

[thir]

Hmm. This has been pretty interesting, reading everyone's replies. I know my take on the subject is confused by the fact that I get really anxious about things, even just chatting with people, much less playing with them. So, for me, I'm least anxious/not at all anxious with female subs, and from there the anxiety level increases as follows: female sub < male sub < female switch < female dominant < male switch < male dominant.


Interesting.



Peculiarly, I feel most drawn to being dominated by a man, which usually scares me and makes me go running for my feminist books,


Now that's a great pity! Feminism is after all about taking control of your life and doing what you want.

If you can find the discussion about feminism and BDSM (I am not good that searching in the threads, but maybe somebody else can find it?) you'll see that that point of view is almost a complete consensus. I would also offer the view that was said so often, that if you do not own yourself, you cannot give yourself away.



but some dommes appeal to me too. I'd play with dominating a man, and that would be fun, but I think I'd be more likely to get into an actual scene relationship with a female sub.


Do you mean dominating her?

weird how our brains work, isn't it?[/QUOTE]

[iPrince]

Newbie to the forum, but this applied to me and I'd like to offer my two cents.

I've DONE all four. With women, I'm equally happy to sub or Dom, and with men, I prefer to Dom. I've only played sub with my long-term (male) partner, and I'm happy to keep it that way. I've always leaned more toward women as far as my sexual preference goes, and while I do appreciate the aesthetics of bollocks and bums...I've never been too keen on the cock. c:

I also have a pre-op MtF tranny friend, who I have both subbed and Dommed with. c: Both experiences were thoroughly enjoyable, and certainly something to be repeated.

[thir]

Interesting :-)
Thanks.