Daes
07-16-2006, 02:09 PM
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/story.php?storyid=1818
Synopsis: World renowned Fighter turned Trainer Ms. Traci Cuttler, is forced to withdraw from a World Championship Fight due to a last minute injury. Cindy Stone, a 54 year old has-been, recently taken in by Traci, fights in her place. The mature but still attractive woman suffers a humiliating and painful defeat before a SRO crowd at the Arena. Ms. Traci vows to 'whip' her old fighter into shape before her next battle.
Only 4 votes for Almost 9000 readers over the past 3 years give or take..
I’ve read the story and… well… meh. It’s not really /my/ taste, though it might be for someone else, however- that said, this is my opinion of the story. Personally, the beginning bored me.. mood was not well orchestrated… I don’t know.. I felt like I was not being /shown/ what was happening..
As far as style.. its.. different. I had a problem with the viewpoints switching back and forth from the narrator to the character, which shouldn’t have even been in the same paragraph.. it makes it confusing to read. I had to read the paragraph over to make sure I was understanding it correctly… and when any reader has to do that.. it’s a bad thing.
The huge paragraphs made it difficult to read… I felt like the story wasn’t well thought out and unorganized.
I couldn’t get into it… personally I would have rated it a 3-4… the plot wasn’t interesting (though im sure it Could have been), it went very slow, monotonous… there were several times I wanted to skip ahead to see if anything interesting happened… in which I was met with disappointment.. Worth the time? Meh… probably not (at least to me), IMO. Bad review..
Synopsis: World renowned Fighter turned Trainer Ms. Traci Cuttler, is forced to withdraw from a World Championship Fight due to a last minute injury. Cindy Stone, a 54 year old has-been, recently taken in by Traci, fights in her place. The mature but still attractive woman suffers a humiliating and painful defeat before a SRO crowd at the Arena. Ms. Traci vows to 'whip' her old fighter into shape before her next battle.
Only 4 votes for Almost 9000 readers over the past 3 years give or take..
I’ve read the story and… well… meh. It’s not really /my/ taste, though it might be for someone else, however- that said, this is my opinion of the story. Personally, the beginning bored me.. mood was not well orchestrated… I don’t know.. I felt like I was not being /shown/ what was happening..
As far as style.. its.. different. I had a problem with the viewpoints switching back and forth from the narrator to the character, which shouldn’t have even been in the same paragraph.. it makes it confusing to read. I had to read the paragraph over to make sure I was understanding it correctly… and when any reader has to do that.. it’s a bad thing.
The huge paragraphs made it difficult to read… I felt like the story wasn’t well thought out and unorganized.
I couldn’t get into it… personally I would have rated it a 3-4… the plot wasn’t interesting (though im sure it Could have been), it went very slow, monotonous… there were several times I wanted to skip ahead to see if anything interesting happened… in which I was met with disappointment.. Worth the time? Meh… probably not (at least to me), IMO. Bad review..