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View Full Version : Communities, History and Social Acceptance



g42
05-12-2002, 09:13 PM
Well this post is three really three seperate topics all rolled into one because I don't feel like starting three different threads. That would feel somehow presumptuos(sp).

Comminities
Is anyone here in a non-online BDSM community? Do these really exist? I know in my city there's a group that meets occasionally for "munches." What goes on in these communities? Would is be like a GBLTTQ community?

History
What is the history of this stuff? I read somewhere that the term "BDSM" was not actually coined until less than 10 or 15 years ago. Is this practiced in many other places in the world (non-western cultures)? Are they more or less accepting?

Social Acceptance
Relating somewhat to that, do you tihnk BDSM et al will ever be socially acceptable here? Say about as acceptable as it is to be gay. I think there will always be conservative fraidy cats and that acceptance of any life style will never be total. But just because a few don't accept something doesn't mean it isn't accepted by most. Will this ever happen? Will sitcom stars ever joke about the whipping they got last night? Will schools educate children about proper tying techniques?

I hope this isn't me being overly accademic again... I just think that this sort of thing is important. I love discussion. If it was good enough for the ancient Greeks, it's good enough for me. ;)

GaryWilcox
05-12-2002, 10:08 PM
Atlanta has a thriving BDSM community. I knew some of the key folks through friend-of-a-friend for years. It isn't much of a friendly gathering of like-minded individuals. It's about commerce and kink flair and being seen.

I'm sure when most of us think about the scene, we think about young attractive people in their twenties or thirties getting together and being open about alternative lifestyles and exploring and developing their pleasure and fullfilment.

But the truth is, it's the folks in their forties, fifties and sixties who have a fucking clue about what's going on, people who look a lot less like supermodels and are much less concerned by that. (Perhaps because they are people past the prime years of a normal sexual appetite?) They're the real community, while the popular image of the community is the younger crowd, who just want to to buy it, sell it, and look cool around it.

I don't know. I could talk, talk, talk, but what the hell do I know?

We're lucky to have this community here, such as it is. If an accurate history lesson isn't to be found, look to literature through the ages. Life imitates art; art imitates life.

g42
05-13-2002, 12:23 AM
I always figured there would be more people who are older than younger, if only because people become more adventurous as they age. You know, the stereotype of the bored housewife and all.

Also, something I forgot to add to the original post is that I've noticed an awful lot of kink in popular media lately. On the plane back from the UK I picked up a copy Maxim (UK ed) and Tattler (UK Cosmo-like pub), and both contained a couple of BDSM elemnts.

Since these are both very mainstream representations of sexuality, along with other stuff I've picked up, I believe BDSM is in this wierd place in society where everybody knows about it and a lot of people do it but no one talks about it because no one wants to admit, as an individual. Like the way tween/teen girls are supposed to be about masturbation.

Thoughts, anyone?

LadyLibra
06-04-2002, 08:50 PM
I was watching "I Love Lucy" reruns & has anyone else noticed how many spankings she gets? Some even look real

(I cut & paste 2 quotes)
Social Acceptance
Relating somewhat to that, do you tihnk BDSM et al will ever be socially acceptable here? Say about as acceptable as it is to be gay. I think there will always be conservative fraidy cats and that acceptance of any life style will never be total. But just because a few don't accept something doesn't mean it isn't accepted by most. Will this ever happen? Will sitcom stars ever joke about the whipping they got last night? Will schools educate children about proper tying techniques?
But the truth is, it's the folks in their forties, fifties and sixties who have a fucking clue about what's going on, people who look a lot less like supermodels and are much less concerned by that. (Perhaps because they are people past the prime years of a normal sexual appetite?) They're the real community, while the popular image of the community is the younger crowd, who just want to to buy it, sell it, and look cool around it.

kimberly
07-15-2002, 05:56 AM
yes, these communities do exists, and yes they tend to be the older generation. i do wear a r/l *collar* in the form of a gold necklace so as not to get the public or my patients *out of shape* when in my office. many areas of r/l accept the Lifestyle, many do not...and again....some do and are afraid to admit it *smirks*

Master's slave and soulmate,

BDSM_Tourguide
08-03-2002, 06:33 PM
My submissive and I used to live in Houston, Texas and were quite open about our lifestyle there, because no one really cares.

She wore her collar always, only taking it off to sleep and shower. When we went to visit friends in the lifestyle, she would go on a leash. Obviously, observers would have only seen the leash on her when we walked from the door to the car and vice-versa, but to my submissive, the reminder was there. And that was the point, after all.

We now live in a smaller town in Alberta and are not able to be as open with our lifestyle as we would like to be. The people here would not understand, because they are not used to seeing people walking around wearing collars, bdsm symbols, chains and so on. In these peoples' everyday lives, it just doesn't occur. So, my submissive and I downplay our lifestyle severely, except when we're at home, then it's "business as usual."

Great thread, too. It's nice to see how different people and their relationships vary by location, age, social preferences and even religion.