Shadoom
09-12-2003, 10:49 AM
I'm looking to spice up the kink in my life.
Please bear with a bit of background...
My lovely wife and I have had an on-again, off-again BDSM relationship, throughout our 20 years of marriage. We can definitely account at least one of our children to a night of intense naughtiness.
Both of us had BDSM experience before marriage; we have been strictly monogamous since taking the vows. In our play, my wife is almost always the submissive; she has been dominant once or twice (which I enjoyed), but she generally prefers to be on the receiving end of my attentions.
Here's the problem: My wife seems to have a dual personality. She flirts with BDSM concepts, even in the company of friends; if I find a particularly "interesting" video, she's more than happy to watch it -- after, of course, chiding me not to look for such things. I show her a video with horses and bound women, and she'd spell-bound (if I can get her to start watchign it!) Her major complaint about BDSM videos is too much spanking and not enough intercourse; she likes to watch tied-up women having rough sex.
Getting her to live out her fantasies has always been a struggle. She'll "help" me buy rope, then she'll ask me not to tie her up. She'll comment on something she'd like to do, then back out at the last minute. Given how much I love this woman, I'm reluctant to force her -- even when she has stated clearly she wants something, but then "changes her mind" at the last second.
It's like she feels guilt for wanting an intense orgasm, but once she gets one, she can't stop begging for them. In one session a couple of years ago, I collapsed of exhaustion after she'd come over a dozen times in one evening. This is so damned sexy, I'm addicted; in fact, I'm obsessed with my wife of two decades, which is a tad odd given current social norms in the U.S.
Do I assume that she teases because she wants to be forced a bit? It seems like the more she declares her enjoyment of an activity (nipple torture and breast binding, for example), the more she resists the next time I suggest it.
Or is she just remembering her Catholic upbringing? That Catholic guilt can be strong stuff... ;)
I'm interested in opinions.
Please bear with a bit of background...
My lovely wife and I have had an on-again, off-again BDSM relationship, throughout our 20 years of marriage. We can definitely account at least one of our children to a night of intense naughtiness.
Both of us had BDSM experience before marriage; we have been strictly monogamous since taking the vows. In our play, my wife is almost always the submissive; she has been dominant once or twice (which I enjoyed), but she generally prefers to be on the receiving end of my attentions.
Here's the problem: My wife seems to have a dual personality. She flirts with BDSM concepts, even in the company of friends; if I find a particularly "interesting" video, she's more than happy to watch it -- after, of course, chiding me not to look for such things. I show her a video with horses and bound women, and she'd spell-bound (if I can get her to start watchign it!) Her major complaint about BDSM videos is too much spanking and not enough intercourse; she likes to watch tied-up women having rough sex.
Getting her to live out her fantasies has always been a struggle. She'll "help" me buy rope, then she'll ask me not to tie her up. She'll comment on something she'd like to do, then back out at the last minute. Given how much I love this woman, I'm reluctant to force her -- even when she has stated clearly she wants something, but then "changes her mind" at the last second.
It's like she feels guilt for wanting an intense orgasm, but once she gets one, she can't stop begging for them. In one session a couple of years ago, I collapsed of exhaustion after she'd come over a dozen times in one evening. This is so damned sexy, I'm addicted; in fact, I'm obsessed with my wife of two decades, which is a tad odd given current social norms in the U.S.
Do I assume that she teases because she wants to be forced a bit? It seems like the more she declares her enjoyment of an activity (nipple torture and breast binding, for example), the more she resists the next time I suggest it.
Or is she just remembering her Catholic upbringing? That Catholic guilt can be strong stuff... ;)
I'm interested in opinions.