View Full Version : Safewords and Safesigns
cariad
08-27-2006, 11:51 PM
I am currently involved in a conversation in the chat room with someone who is fairly new to our lifestyle about safewords.
Do you think they are a good thing, and do you consider they add or subtract from playtimes? Does it make any difference if you know and trust the Dom/me you are playing with?
cariad
Uncle_Ed
08-28-2006, 12:53 AM
As a witness to the conversation I can appreciate where cari is coming from here. I believe that safewords and signs should be in place whenever play is likely to get hard. I told cari-and the newcomer-that I don't use them as I play softly. This is true, but after some thought I realise that I have played in the past with safewords in operation.
I did so because I was exploring not only my sub's limits-but mine as well. It is so damned easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment. I've found this-as have we all in r/l-but have also just recently found it during some mild on-line inter-action for the first time.
It's easy here-you just turn away or log off-if you're able to. But that's another subject...
In r/l the limits of one partner may not reflect the limits of the other. Until such time that limits have been thoroughly explored and clearly delineated I think safewords are vital. Why not have them? Thats the question that puzzles me?
My use of a safeword/action/signal applies when I play with someone I dont know well enough to judge their reactions to something. For instance, if I play with a submissive I have never played with before. Lets say just flogging is the activity. Well I employ a safeword, as well as a hand signal. This allows the submissive to feel as though they have a safety net, and are able to put forth the level of trust to be able to submit, so that they are able to achieve subspace. If they don't trust that they will be ok, they wont be able to achieve subspace. A safeword provides them that ability.
Safewords can also be used as a learning tool. I have come across submissives that even with a safeword, they will not say the safeword, they feel as though they have failed. Forcing them to say it by making the activity so intense that it becomes a need can be a scene all by its self.
V/R
ID
Talia
08-28-2006, 03:18 AM
Safewords I have, but have yet to use them with my Dom. Sometimes I forget I have that "safety net". Usually, he can tell when I've had enough.
Trust in essential to playing with a dom or even a sub. I think Doms should have a safeword too. I'm not sure if it happens a lot but I'm sure there have been times when the dom wasn't comfortable moving ahead with an activity if he feels a certain level has been reached. (I hope that makes sense)
I feel that safewords are important as trust is. If safewords weren't used how can you trust your dom to know you have reached your limit? Even relationships, where the two have been together for years, I feel a safeword should still be apart of play.
SB
her_Joe
08-28-2006, 04:28 AM
I won't "play" without safewords in place. They aren't there necessarily for if the session is too intense -- say, for example, that she's on the bench and gets a cramp. Yeah, I should notice it, but I'm more likely to be watching the muscles in her hips, back, neck, than the ones in her calf muscles. The safeword lets that get straightened out easily.
Yes, there are subs who won't use the safe word. That's fine. It's my job to know when anyway. But having it provides a level of security and trust that isn't there otherwise.
Ultimately, after we've been together for a long time -- say a RL year -- maybe we could abandon safewords as a symbolic level of trust. And during punishment, safewords aren't in effect because that's a whole other thing.
Not knowing the chat situation, my guess is that someone who doesn't see the need for safewords isn't used to playing hard. Perhaps someone who sees themselves as a "pain slut" but who hasn't been pushed hard enough just yet ... in which case s/he'll come around ... we hope safely!
hJ
I think if you know each other there's no need for them. I can only see the point if you have a constant stream of new subs coming in the door & don't have trust & knowledge of each other.
Tojo
maddie
08-28-2006, 04:48 AM
I think it's very difficult to get to a point where you know your partner so well that safewords aren't necessary. I almost never use mine, but I know I can if I need to. Fortunately, my husband seems to be pretty good, most of the time, at knowing how far to go.
For a new relationship, I'd absolutely insist on it.
Sir_G
08-28-2006, 07:56 PM
I think they are an important part of the lifestyle. Especially important if you are just starting a relationship or playing in a multi player type scene (yes I know it is rare but nevertheless). In my experiece the partners I have had have never had to use it, but I think it gives the sub a safety net and a way of letting the Dom/Domme know that things are getting too intense.
Ultimately it comes down to choice and clear communication between couples. Communication is the lynch pin of any relationship, kink or vanilla.
Timberwolf
08-28-2006, 08:28 PM
I think it depends somewhat on the activity.
For example, kindapping roleplays... a situation where no doesn't mean no if you're in character. I wouldn't ever enter one seriously without a safeword backup in place.
I've also encountered those who enjoy saying no and being ignored... even if it's a relatively "light" activity. Obvioulsy safeword is their only real safetey net there.
Usually, no means no of course. And more or less, I think it does a fine job. But having said that if someone asked for a safeword setup in any situation, I would never turn them down. I think I would always offer someone I was getting into a serious setup a safeword, even if I felt it was somewhat redundant, a a simple sign of good faith.
Uncle_Ed
08-28-2006, 10:04 PM
Ultimately it comes down to choice and clear communication between couples. Communication is the lynch pin of any relationship, kink or vanilla.
Hey Gregsta!
What a great way of summing it up!
Sir_G
08-29-2006, 01:02 AM
Thanks Ed. That's about as profound as I get I'm afraid lol.
Ozme52
08-29-2006, 01:23 AM
Even if not for the sake of safety, it's great to have one.
There was another thread. The couple was having trouble because the dom was misreading the sub's reactions.
I/we suggested they add the safe word. Now that it exists, by not using it, there is no longer any confusion and the fun and games can continue... and both seem to be much happier.
For so many reasons, it's just smart to have one.
Rabbit1
08-29-2006, 02:08 AM
The whole point is not trust of your partner ---when having fun it is possible to get carried away ---not intentionally ---but it does happen ---
I was talking to some one realitively new to the lifestyle ---she and her Dom were both new ---and she told me of a spanking she took while gagged ---I was horrified to say the least ---for one gags are for more experienced people in the lifestyle ---how can you utter a safe word if you are gagged?
now this was not a normal spanking with the hand --and even if it was the gag was not really a good idea ---for newbies----
Safe word are for a purpose ---one to help the Dom know when he or she is crossing the line of enjoyment to real pain that is too much for the sub.
the second reason is for the sub --to gain trust in the dom---that there is a safety net---that the Dom will stop the moment the safe word is used
And that I have found is a problem with newbies ----the see a few pictures or read a few stories about the lifestyle ----not knowing what they are seeing or reading is experienced people in the lifestyle ---and decide to try it, without the saftey net.
Let me tell you there have been more injuries ---and people completely turned off from the lifestyle --but doing this
A gag is an advanced feature in the lifestyle when coupled with pain inflection. Or being tied in a painful position. I advise newbies not to use a gag until they gain experience and maybe a safe sign----Still it is hard to use a safe sign if you are bound while being spanked or flogged ---or hung up bound and gagged
I tend to use a gag only in simulated Noncon sex---where the partner is completely aware of what is going on---and what is coming---maybe tied in a comfortable position and it is part of fantasy play ---not inflecting pain.
I have nerver and will never us a gag on a sub while spanking or caning them --beside their screams are part of the fantasy and knowing they do have a choice if I do get carried away in my part of the fantasy --is reassuring to me.
Thats my two cents worth
Sir_G
08-29-2006, 02:52 AM
Wisdom comes with experience and Rabbit I love what you said above.
Rabbit1
08-29-2006, 03:21 AM
Wisdom comes with experience and Rabbit I love what you said above.
that is true as long as the wisdom or the experience does not hurt anyone---the lifestyle can be great ---but enjoyment for both parties is a must---my advice is start slow ---get advice from experienced people ---and above all please use a safe word
That too is an excellent point about gags- while we may want to experience it all on the first day, a gag is a very dangerous thing when starting out. Coupled with a collar which is a little tight, it could become more than uncomfortable.
Don't forget when you get hot & excited one's limbs & neck can swell, making ropes or restraints much tighter.
I always advise taking it one step at a time, the combination of things can increase the discomfort & panic level exponentially.
Further to my first post on safewords, I just think there's so much more to this than just saying 'oh the safe word is hippopotamaus' & going out the room for a coffee. Each situation is different.
Also I've never played to the extent some people do! :32:
Slow & gentle wins the race for me.
Tojo
cariad
08-29-2006, 06:07 AM
Well Tojo, I was trying to keep quiet - but you expect a girl to come out with 'hippopotamaus' as you push her too far??? Or perhaps you don't and this gentle exterior you project is just a front.
cariad
Uncle_Ed
08-29-2006, 06:50 AM
*rubs eyes*
Tojo has pushed a hippopotamous too far into a girl? Geez...
frankee
08-29-2006, 07:42 AM
lmao!
Timberwolf
08-29-2006, 07:55 AM
It's totally possible to still have a safesign set up while using a gag, in certain setups.
As always communication with your partner beforehand is key.
Rabbit1
08-29-2006, 08:13 AM
daggone Tojo I thought down under you blokes were into sheep and kangaroos not hippopotamaus---just goes to show how much I know ---lol
Curious_1
08-29-2006, 09:16 AM
cari,
I sent you the log of that chat on safewords. I hope you read it again. Then you and I had a long talk about them in whisper.
I hope you say yes to being the leader of the discussion on them!! Name a time and date. But please make sure it is convenient to both sides of the ocean.
Curi
cariad
08-29-2006, 09:52 AM
I am still thinking about it Curious. As you know I found my previous thoughts on the matter challenged by people whom I respect, and I am enjoying this thread. Now I know I do not need to have fixed views to lead such a discussion, and there is probably no absolute answer to the question, but would prefer to approach it with a little less confusion and indecisiveness in my head.
As promised I will get back to you on it.
cariad
Curious_1
08-29-2006, 10:07 AM
Very well put delia!
Curi
frankee
08-29-2006, 10:10 AM
Ok, my first post in the forums, so bear with me here...
I had a horrible experience with safewords in my first D/s relationship. I was taught that when used, it showed a failure on behalf of the submissive. It has taken my current Master over 8 months to un-train this from me and to teach me that in fact, safe words are the very safety (pardon the pun) net that keeps lifestyle SSC. My point here is that often submissives get the wrong impression on what a safe word is and therefore never use it when they should, and at the extreme end, don't use it when it is most needed. This can lead to permenant damage emotionally, mentally and physically for the sub.
The proper use of a safe word isn't meant to be used as a "cop out" during play but rather a gesture of communication from the sub to the Dom that the play has reached and surpassed a limit that the sub is comfortable with. A safe word isn't meant to prevent limits from being surpassed and for the sub to grow and learn from play, but it is meant to prevent the physical, mental and emotional harm.
As for "when" a safe word can work... My Master and I have not only a word but a gesture (using my fingers) for when I am unable to speak. I stress this because the gesture shouldn't be something the sub would otherwise make, nor should the word. However, the word should also not be so obscure and long (e.g. the previous described 'hippopotamus') that when deep in subspace the sub can't remember.
There is never a time, IMO, that a safe word isn't "necessary." It keeps a safety net both for the submissive AND for the Dom, no matter how long they have been together and how well they know eachother.
Ok, sorry for the long post. Just some thoughts...
delia,
i read your post twice. You gave me something to think about. i guess i'm one of those subs that think that using a safeword is a 'cop out' or a 'failure' in some way...
Thanks again for your post.
Timberwolf
08-29-2006, 10:48 AM
delia,
Loved your post. I made a similar point in a thread about sadomasochism the other day. Someone saying they felt like a bit of a "whimp" for not enjoying hot wax play, and I retorted that this is "not the pain olympics". The goal of any form of BDSM is *not* push someone past their limits, or into any realm they don't want to go. It's find a balance that works for you, and that you enjoy. And within that balance that two people find, create a bond of intimacy.
If something goes to far in a person's mind, using a safeword is not failure. It can be a hard thing to wrap one's head around, but it is worth doing. I would never think of a sub using a safeword with me as "failure" myself... it's her I want, the intimate bond with her. The acts we do together are (relatively) irrelevant. We can always find something more to her liking.
(omg I’m up during the day!)
Are they a good thing? Sure. I think it’s a good idea to have one (especially for new partners), and generally agree with what has been said so far, but...
Getting to this question,
do you consider they add or subtract from playtimes?
For me, it would limit my enjoyment of the "play". Knowing that I, the sub, had some kind of power to stop it if I wanted, that there was a "safety net"... really turns me off. There was some discussion of this in my intro as well, and there I said, "I want it to feel slightly dangerous, I want him to have total control like that." And I still agree with that.
But just because we don’t have a safeword doesn’t mean there aren’t discussions that take place before and after. Well, not always, but it really depends on what exactly the situation is. Not so much now, but of course when we first started doing stuff there were lengthy discussions about it. He pretty much knows what I can take.
Another thing I wanted to comment on, just to show a different point of view, was this:
For example, kindapping roleplays... a situation where no doesn't mean no if you're in character. I wouldn't ever enter one seriously without a safeword backup in place.
I don’t know about you all, but if we were going to do a kidnapping/rape thing... what would be the point of a safeword? In kidnapping/rape situations, there is no way out for the "victim". I guess it depends on how far you want to take it/how real you want it to be. Obviously if you know the other person it’s not going to seem real, but I don’t want to know what’s going to happen either. When we did something like that before, I didn’t know when it would happen or anything, and of course there was no "safe" word, and it was crazy (the good kind ;)) but oh so exciting.
Hmm... forgot what else I wanted to say. Will add more later if I think of it.
I am still thinking about it Curious. As you know I found my previous thoughts on the matter challenged by people whom I respect, and I am enjoying this thread. Now I know I do not need to have fixed views to lead such a discussion, and there is probably no absolute answer to the question, but would prefer to approach it with a little less confusion and indecisiveness in my head.
As promised I will get back to you on it.
cariad
cariad, I reread your orignal post on this, and it made me wonder what your opinion was when you started the thread. I don't have the time to come into the chat room very often, so I would very much enjoy some tidbit insights on what spured you into starting the thread, and I would like to add I'm glad you started it.
From what I have been reading everyone seems to have a general consensus about their use, and why they are good.
I look forward to reading your views.
V/R
ID
His Slut
08-29-2006, 04:16 PM
We settled on "diamonds." After all, they are a girl's best friend!!!!
Timberwolf
08-29-2006, 04:25 PM
We settled on "diamonds." After all, they are a girl's best friend!!!!
Clever.
His Slut
08-29-2006, 04:26 PM
Clever.
Thanks, my dear! I thought so, too.
Sir_G
08-29-2006, 05:32 PM
Well done cariad this is a great thread. Very thought provoking. Mina I enjoyed what you wrote and note that you and your Master know each other well and you mentioned he pretty much knows how much you can take. In that situation I think the lack of a safe word or the choice not to use one is appropriate.
I also really enjoyed forgive me I just know I'm going to spell your name wrong and I'm doing this in quick reply so I don't have the benefit of quotes - ahh dehlia. Your post based on your experience is great because it illustrates the point from actual experience. Thanks for sharing it and what a great first post.
Any one that can bone me in on how to do multiple quotes I would appreciate it. Thaaaaaaaankss.
Delia, well said in your previous post.
Safewords are there for a reason.
His Slut, "diamonds" is a great word.
May I suggest you add another to communicate
when you want to slow down, but not induce a full stop?
---
There are many reasons for safewords and signs, some not always so obvious, because they have nothing to do with playtime and yet, it's important to stop the session.
Things like:
leg / arm / stomach cramps
another person has entered the home (children, neighbor, family member, etc.)
Some one is knocking at the door or
An important message just came in the answering machine
Some safe "signs" that have helped others:
Sub holds an object in their hand - like a ball - that they drop if they need their doms attention
Sub holds an object that makes a noise - think rubber ducky, a squeeky toy, or even a battery operated toy gun - when sub squeezes, but not if sub doesn't squeeze said toy
While it's tempting to let sub hold a water pistol, they might be less inclined to use it if there were consequences involved. ;)
fantassy
09-04-2006, 10:57 PM
His Slut, "diamonds" is a great word.
May I suggest you add another to communicate
when you want to slow down, but not induce a full stop?
Hmm, if full stop is diamonds, should slow be "cubic zirconia"?
Silke
09-05-2006, 07:14 AM
While it's tempting to let sub hold a water pistol, they might be less inclined to use it if there were consequences involved.
Oh my God, I'd love to try that one...:D
scabrat
09-05-2006, 03:33 PM
Depends on a lot of factors, especially the type of scene and how well the participants know each other. An advantage of agreeing a safeword, that many people miss, is that it allows the 'victim' to protest and beg for mercy, to stop! please no more! and really get into the role (as said earlier). Not every one gets off on being silent, or counting strokes in the classical style. I like to play out a 'NC role' the quotes inticating it is of course negotiated. that would be impossible if you couldn't protest, and since a protest would be quite rightly ignored, I believe it is essential to have a safe word unless the participants are psychic.
For others however it is important not just to feel powerless, but to BE powerless and step where there is no backing out. The top really does have to know and read his victim well for this.
Safety in BDSM, much like in real life, is a matter of compromise. The need has to be balanced with the risk, and I think is different for every scene, activity and participant.
RickBulow74
09-11-2006, 12:16 PM
I am currently involved in a conversation in the chat room with someone who is fairly new to our lifestyle about safewords.
Do you think they are a good thing, and do you consider they add or subtract from playtimes? Does it make any difference if you know and trust the Dom/me you are playing with?
cariad
I might be new to the lifestyle, but I had done a lot of research to know that safewords are an EXCELLENT thing to have, and they add to the playtime. I recall when I had been in a scene online I was gagged, yet the Mistress I was with had placed something in my hand and told me to drop it if I needed to discuss something or tell her to stop. I know not how it will work for me once I extend it to real time, but I feel that they are very important and it definately makes a difference if you know and trust the Dominant you are with as one Dominant might use one thing as a safeword, and another might use a totally different one so if you were to use the safeword you used with one, it might not work with the other.
Hope this helps any,
Rick Bulow
Dragon's muse
09-11-2006, 12:40 PM
Another good reason for safewords, even if partners know each other well, is that in the case of females many things, hormonal and emotional may affect what their limits may be at a particular time. At certain points in her menstrual cycle, a woman may be more or less sensitive to pain. If anyone is not well rested or hungry or tired they may not be able to take as much as they have previously.
We always know my safewords are there, even though i haven't used them in years.
mortsgirl
11-13-2006, 11:40 AM
Yeah, but... It soo hard to use a safe word. I feel like I'm failing my dom.
Yeah, but... It soo hard to use a safe word. I feel like I'm failing my dom.
This is a VERY common thought among submissives. If your Dom wants to show you that you don't fail by uttering a safe word. Perhaps you could suggest a safe word scene. Him deciding what and how. He needs to take you there, and reassure you that you didn't fail.
V/R
ID
Psynymph
11-13-2006, 09:00 PM
so what is everyone's stance on the whole..."He's your Master, He has the right to ignore you safeword" thing?
i've many a Dom say that is you are a complete slave, as in your Master has total control over you, that includes the usage of a safeword. and whereas you can still by all means shout out your safeword, your Master would have the right to ignore it if He felt it was ok to do so.
now i kinda understand the mentality behind this....but how does everyone else feel about this?
btw...my safeword is blue clues....because i figured if i was using my safeword, i was going to need something to make me laugh.....and how can you not smile at a bouncy blue dog?
vistana
11-13-2006, 10:41 PM
so what is everyone's stance on the whole..."He's your Master, He has the right to ignore you safeword" thing?
I think that's bogus.
You can play without a safeword, go ahead, if you're comfortable with it. I don't have one at the moment and that's just fine for me right now. But if you have a safeword then the safe word is an absolute. otherwise what's the point?
If the Dom wants to play like this, then have graduated safe words, something that means 'I don't want this anymore' but isn't an absolute 'I can't take this anymore'.
I once had my safeword (gesture, actually) go unnoticed and that was a very rough experience. Having it willfully ignored would fuck with me badly. and not in a good way.
Of course, if you choose to have a situation where your safeword can be ignored, go for it, just please be careful! And I'd have to wonder why you'd choose to have one at all. If it's Master's final call no matter what, then why not just stick with your genuine 'no's and 'please don't's?
As far as a safe word being used and ignored. Well it comes down to simple consensuality. Do you consent to that kind of behavior, if you do, then it is acceptable. If you do not, then it is abuse. It's simple as that.
When entering into a relationship with a Dom, are you looking for total slavery, or consensual slavery? If you are looking for the total slave status. Then a safe word would simply be for the Dom to gauge if they had surpassed your ability to withstand something.
There is actually a website dedicated to this line of thinking. I don't subscribe to the ideals, and so I didn't keep track of it. To me, without the consensual nature of the relationship, the power exchange looses it's appeal.
V/R
ID
Swtsubmissve
11-30-2006, 10:46 PM
my former Master and i had a safe word, at first... and at times i would call it out just cause i was being a wimp, sometimes just to test Him and see if He would stop, and sometimes because i needed it... after awhile it got the point where He knew my moves and my no's and my stops... that the safe word was not needed... it was still an option, but hardly needed.... Safe words are vital to gaining trust and should be in play at all times even during punishments... no matter how long a couple has been together.... not saying that it should be or has to be used but should be there... because once a limit is reached there is a new limit in its place that must now be reached...
master 327-834-200
12-01-2006, 03:43 AM
Safe, sane and consensual are our maxims in this life and no matter how experienced you are, or how gentle the play is safewords should be part of your negotiations before commencing any type of play. Special consideration should be made if you are to use any form of gag, blindfold or bondage.
May I also say how important safewords are for the Dominant as well as the slave. I personally would advise anyone who plays with a partner who says they do not use safewords to run a mile, or to at least insist and discuss the reasons why.
jeanne
11-18-2007, 08:50 AM
Hi all, :wave:
After a long discussion about safewords with the one I submit to, I decided to search for a good thread discussing safewords and came across this one. There's some widely varying viewpoints here and I found each one interesting (and one or two downright scary).
Here are my thoughts - based on my conversations with him:
First, I must say that I've only used my safeword once - and it was on a writing task that was psychologically difficult for me - one that to anyone else would be "no big deal" - but for me, it was a big deal. And I couldn't do it. And he respected the safeword, just as he has promised to always do.
I believed that safewords were for me alone. A way to slow down or stop something that was too much. A protection for me against him. After several conversations about the topic, over several months, I now know better. Yes, the safeword is still a protection for me. But, ultimately, I believe (because he explained it to me) the safeword is for him. He trusts that I will use it if necessary (and only if necessary - not to "test" him). The safeword gives him ultimate freedom to use that which belongs to him (me) without fear of going too far. As a result, we both get to experience each other completely, without fear.
Another thing he has promised to me - not to push me too far, too hard, too quickly, just to see if I'll use the safeword. He considers that to be a breach of the bond between us.
Isn't he simply wonderful? (Yes, I'm gooey over him.) :)
jeanne
Sir_Russell
11-19-2007, 08:12 AM
jeanne.
There is a problem with depending too much on a safe word. If you are gone into either sub-space or hyper-orgasm space you MAY forget to use the safe word or not even know you should. This is why the Dom job is very hard, he must be the one in control and that includes knowing that he is about to go to far.
I learned this one the hard way and hope my advice will help you both.
jeanne
11-19-2007, 01:53 PM
jeanne.
There is a problem with depending too much on a safe word. If you are gone into either sub-space or hyper-orgasm space you MAY forget to use the safe word or not even know you should. This is why the Dom job is very hard, he must be the one in control and that includes knowing that he is about to go to far.
I learned this one the hard way and hope my advice will help you both.
Sir_Russell,
Thanks so much for your post! Yes, you are right - being unable to remember it is a concern of both of ours. Fortunately, he's moving ahead in small steps (no big leaps from level to level) and is taking the time to "learn me". And, when he is unsure about my body language he backs off/slows down a bit and then he asks me afterward what was I thinking at that time. Again proving that communication is key. A perfect example - he's learned that my squirming away a bit is not a stop sign - it's just my body's initial reaction to something new. After a few moments, all is well. I simply need to adjust. And want the opportunity to adjust. He's ended things prematurely once or twice based on that, until he realized what was really happening. :)
I expect getting to that "can't remember" place is quite far into the future for us, and by then he will know me well enough to be able to judge for himself.
I thank you again,
jeanne
caligirl{Rob}
11-19-2007, 02:00 PM
Sir_Russell,
Thanks so much for your post! Yes, you are right - being unable to remember it is a concern of both of ours. Fortunately, he's moving ahead in small steps (no big leaps from level to level) and is taking the time to "learn me". And, when he is unsure about my body language he backs off/slows down a bit and then he asks me afterward what was I thinking at that time. Again proving that communication is key. A perfect example - he's learned that my squirming away a bit is not a stop sign - it's just my body's initial reaction to something new. After a few moments, all is well. I simply need to adjust. And want the opportunity to adjust. He's ended things prematurely once or twice based on that, until he realized what was really happening. :)
I expect getting to that "can't remember" place is quite far into the future for us, and by then he will know me well enough to be able to judge for himself.
I thank you again,
jeanne
how very well stated jeanne! I absolutely agree communication is the key, and that goes for body language and overall temperment as well...by taking the time to get to know how I work, He is able to take me to places I could never have imagined!
hugs!
cali