Dirty Names

[Candy-Coated-Cunt]

Alright I was afraid that someone already came up with this thread but I think I'm safe.....It's a game of coming up with names that apear VERY normal until you read them...EXAMPLE Justin Cider, Haywood Jablowmie, Neil Down, Ben Dyaover
I hope everyone can come up with some great names ....and HAVE FUN!!!

[Qmoq]

Mike Hunt

[Uncle_Ed]

Phil McCavity?

[Uncle_Ed]

(btw-Triple-C...weren't you supposed to call yourself "Sugarlips"? I think you miss-heard...)

[Qmoq]

Umm. Ok. Here's some more of the top of my head.

Bernt Hass
Red Cheeks
Jack Orff
(real names - Dick Shawn and Dick Cheney!)
Yuri Nate Onme

Umm that's all I can think of for now, without getting convoluted surnames...

Q x

[Curious_1]

CCC

In my hometown people actually names their daughter Candy Sweet!
hurling

Curi

[DungeonMaster6]

Aloha spelled backwards.

[master 327-834-200]

I can't claim I thought of it but one that makes me laugh.

Hugh Jars

[MsUther]

Wrockard Limb

[SheepishJaina]

this was written inside one of my text books in hs as the previous "owner"

Harry P. Enis

[Warbaby1943]

Peter Gosinya

[SeX-FiENd(DD)]

Ana L Tight

[RickBulow74]

Here are some that I found off of the Simpsons that I thought were funny

Al Coholic
Amanda Kissenhug
Homer Sexual

[THuxley]

Well, I know an Austrian guy whose surname is Wanker...

[mkemse]

Dick Dragon

[violet girl{MM}]

Hugh G. Rection :)

[canEHdianMAN]

Anna Nutherdickhead

[gagged_Louise]

Ruud Lubbers, Dutch prime minister 1982-94 (could easily be read as "dirty big hands")

Dante Maffia (name of Italian poet)

Santos Trafficante (Miami mafia boss, cp. trafficking)

[canEHdianMAN]

Ivana Cumalot

[violet girl{MM}]

Alotta Fagina (from Austin Powers)
also Ivanna Humpalot (also from Austin Powers) ;)

[gagged_Louise]

Lavrentij Beria (boss of the Soviet Secret Police in the later years of Stalin and a guy rrenowned for his brutality, both the man himself and his organization). The last name, in English, would easily read as (I'm going to) "bury ya"

[Lee Boudine]

Roger Rectum :crop:

[todd]

Phil McCreviss
Ima E Zee
Master Bates
Sheila Bloyu
Fuk Mi
Fuk Yu
Seymour Butts
I C Weiner
Betty Kissme
Harry Bush
Ida Sucu
Donna Kissntell
Harry Johnson
Andy Rogenus
Annie Scrumi
Barry Boener
Minnie Schlong
Ivana Humpyu
Sara Shagfome
Doctor Love
Bender

[nk_lion]

Jack A. Kok

[MrEmann]

Used to know a real person with the name Peter Polecock. Always thought that would have made a good porn name.

[MitchC]

My parents used to know a guy, I swear, whose name was Dick Whitehead. I thought that was pretty hilarious.

Mitch

[Dorkalicious]

Cherry Bom
Adam Bom

Bom is actually my last name. It's pronounced bomb -- as in the explosion. Lol.

Those were two names my mother had actually considered naming me.

[MitchC]

How about this one: Dick Putz. That one could be really hilarious. They both mean penis. There is a pitcher on the Seattle Mariners named J.J. Putz. Well, imagine if he had a relative named Richard aka Dick.

I think that sounds funny.

Mitch

[Wordsmith]

There was a teacher back when I was in high school named Richard Head

[gagged_Louise]

A bit outside the kinky, I knew a guy who changed his name, in Swedish, to Lord Persson. While Lord is an instant stand-out (it doesn't exist as a name, sending your thoughts at once to the parliament Lords of England), Persson is the opposite: it's as common a surname in Swedish as Smith in English. Aristocrat and nobody in the same name.

[MitchC]

I just did a search on the internet, and guys, I swear about this, I typed in the name Hugh G Rection, and came across a guy who was a master sargent in the army with that name who died. There were also some people on myspace with that name, but, one might figure that on myspace, a classic young person's website, that perhaps someone did that as a joke. I dont think, however, that they are going to honor a master sargent who died, and not give his real name, so, we now know that there was a guy in fact whose name was Hugh G Rection.

Mitch

[Tufty {Bad}]

This isn't a 'dirty' name as such;
A few years a go I had dealings with a family. When I took details over the 'phone I was almost in hysterics. Their name? It was hyphenated...Wright-Burke

[newby]

The ob/gyn that delivered both my kids...Dr Bush

[Tufty {Bad}]

I went to school with a lad whose surname was 'Groocock' and then had a neighbour whose suname was 'Growcock' He always used to answer the telephone with his surname.

[Tufty {Bad}]

I was given a wonderful book just recently as a birthday present. It's called "Potty, Fartwell and Knob" It's a collection of strange and dirty names that have been recorded in the Parish Registers (Births, Marriages, Deaths) in the UK over the last few of hundred years. Here are a few of the names - and remember that these were real people:

Harold Snarl Oliphant - Born in Salford, UK 1886
Fanny Cunt - Born Colchester, UK 1891
Harry Cunter - Born Runcorn, UK in 1874
Cunty Hoel - Born at Waltham-on-the-Hill, UK 1849
Zippah Bottom - Born at Whitley, UK 1832
Amelia Brown-Bottom - Born at Islington, UK 1876
Arundel Anus - Died in Somerset, UK 1904
Nanny Rawbottom - Baptized at Aston, UK 1795
Enema Bottomley - Died at Huddersfield UK 1906
Fanny Box - Born at Chippenham, UK 1839
Fanny Coil - Born at Chester, UK 1878
Fanny Crotch - Baptized at Norwich, UK 1624
Fanny Hunney - Died at Padstow, UK 1891
Fanny Lipps - Married at Falmouth, UK 13th April 1823
Nine Fanny Rogers - Married at Whitchurch, UK 1905
Fanny Pounder - Born at Manchester, UK 1879
Fanny Jayne Penis - Born at Gloucester, UK 1842
Fanny Lotta Mould - Died at Newmarket, UK 1858 Aged 10 years
Fanny Strain - Born at Dudley, UK 1867
Fanny Washer - Married at Axbridge, Uk 1846
Dick Bellend - Baptized at London, UK 1848 6th February
Everard Cock - Born at Wells, UK 1890
Hardy Dick - Born at Sculcoates, UK 1883
Harry Dong - Born at Birmingham, UK 1847
Love Hiscock - Baptized at Mere, UK 1825
Charles Penis Horn - Married at London, UK 1845

There are 250 pages of names like that :)

[likes_it_rough]

jason cockburn I swear this to true my ex-hubby vasectomy doctor

[gagged_Louise]

On Tori Amos Under The Pink album a whole range of string synths and keyboards are played by one John Philip Shemale (it's in the booklet).

[Tufty {Bad}]

Another one from my book..

Fanny Fiddler - Buried in Portsea in 1868

[gagged_Louise]

lol good one, Tufty

Peter Machinist (writer; we all know Peter means "(hard) rock")

I once saw the death announcement of a man aclled Hans-Erik Handog. "Han dog" in Swedish is "he died"; think of carrying that name for an entire life.

[Tufty {Bad}]

...or Fanny Cockaday, born at Norwich on 23rd June 1880

[gagged_Louise]

Lydia Lunch (American singer and performance artist - I'm sure she realizes her artist name could be interpreted in a very slutty way)

[Sadistic1]

lynda lovelace

[Tufty {Bad}]

Not dirty name, but it made me laugh...

Lousy Butler, born in Bradford, UK in 1885

[gagged_Louise]

Billy Lovelady - I know two people, of that name, a UK musician and a man who worked at the Texas School Book Depository in Dallas in 1963

[Tufty {Bad}]

Willy Crusher...Christened at Frome Wesleyan Chapel in 1823

[MitchC]

This one is in my own family, and, while it really isnt funny because I was estranged from her for the last 18 years of her life, I figured I'd post it anyway.

My paternal grandmother's maiden name was Fanny Dickerman. I guess that's kind of a funny name when you think of it. Fanny meaning butt, and ah, Dickerman, well, self explanatory I guess.

Mitch

[MitchC]

One name that is funny that I just thought of. Again, same branch of the family. My great grandfather. (Fanny's father) had a cousin named Dickie or Dick Dickerman. That name IS actually pretty funny.

Mitch

[Tufty {Bad}]

Fanny Cummings, Christened in 1857 in Cheshire, UK

[MasterDennis]

Amanda Lick

[gagged_Louise]

Dick Armey, Majority leader for the Republicans in the US House of Representatives (noticed this when he was interviewed on the BBC)

[Tufty {Bad}]

Parents don't think, do they? LOL

A couple more from my book while the thread is here:

Fanny Dunker, Died April 17th 1827, Bexley, UK
Fanny Warning, Born 1862, Northampton, Uk
Fanny Sponge, Born 13th March 1858, Woking, UK
Fanny Tingler, Born 4th July 1848, Worsley, UK
Fanny Warmer, Married at Newent, UK in 1843
Fanny Washer, Died Axbridge, UK, 1846

[pigtails]

chinese Mr King and his son Wan

[MitchC]

Here's a dirty name. It would be a combination of two dentists I used to know. When I was younger, my orthodonists name was Richard AKA Dick or Dickie Sands, and his partner, Dr Stuart Garrelick. Imagine the combination of Dick's first name, and Stu's last name, Dr Dick Garrelick.

Thought that was a bit amusing.

Mitch

[MitchC]

Another one that just came to mind: Imagine someone named Richard Bush. His nickname would be Dick Bush. That would be hilarious, in a sexual way.

Mitch

[MitchC]

Another dirty name that comes to mind. Imagine if there was a guy named Richard Lick. His nickname would be Dick Lick.

Mitch

[Tufty {Bad}]

Fanny Licker, died in Bedford, UK, 1844

[gagged_Louise]

lol, Fanny Warning! excellent!

The surname Vaginov exists in Russian - I have it from a creditable source.

And a few years ago. Mrs Anneli Läättenmäki was briefly Prime Minister of Finland but had to resign just a few months after the elections, when it turned up she had used a top secret document relating to Finnish security policies to get at her So*i*l*st competitor - and in the process had hinted publicly at things that could be seen as state secrets. With one 't' less, her surname would have meant "Mountain/pile of shit"

[Tufty {Bad}]

rofl...lmao...should be a standard name for Prime Ministers :)

Just seen another one in my book...Dick Twister, christened at Felixtowe, UK, September 5th 1827

[gagged_Louise]

Kinda off topic, but my uncle , who's been a vicar in Stockholm for many years, once remarked that the "Forest Crematory" on the outskirts of the capital, had got itself a less reverent name among priests and mortuary personnel: "Gubbgrillen" (The Chum Grill) :D

[Tufty {Bad}]

^There does tend to be a macabre sense of humour from those people working within those types of jobs...I speak from experience :)

[gagged_Louise]

Yes, I kind of recall you're in the undertaker business or something

Leberecht Bachenschwanz - German 18th century writer, the first name is "Live Righteously", the surname hints something like "spine bucking like a winding stream" - and it sounds great when spoken too

[Tufty {Bad}]

There really are some good names around...and it shows how society has changed.

What about this poor chap:

Ivor Nobb, died at Durham, UK, 17th October 1852

[gagged_Louise]

Aleksandr Gelfand was a Russian communist who got involved with Lenin in his early career - and later on they broke apart and AG became a multi-millionaire businessman and worked up contacts with the German government (maybe you know about him?) He came to Lenin's helop again in 1917 and probably helped engineer German sponsoring of the Bolsheviks, but Lenin never could acknowledge that. Already early in his career though, "Gelfand" had been changed to Helphand, by simple transcription.. Now Alexander Helphand, isn't that a terrific name for a fixer, half-gangster or shyster - and revolutionary?

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

I actually had a boss named Merry Christmas.

[Jayden McZimmer]

Ben Dover

[mandy77]

I truly had a boss named Dick Liss

[mandy77]

Oh and a friend named Sam Queer (and all the Queer children)

[Tufty {Bad}]

In the small village where I was born, there was a large family with the surname of 'Nutter' One day, somebody in a van stopped and asked me, "Do you know any Nutters around here?"

[a1984944_isback]

Richard "Dick" Trickle - Nascar driver

[gagged_Louise]

"No more coals to Newcastle, no more Hoares to Paris"

-uncertified quote by King George V of England the first time he talked to Anthony Eden after Eden had become Foreign Secretary in 1936. The man before had been Samuel Hoare, who went on to become Air minister in 1940 during the battle of Britain.

[Tufty {Bad}]

ROFL...so the 'Royal Gaffe' was there long before Prince Philip??? Nice one :)

[gagged_Louise]

I'd read about him in connection with Churchill and when I recalled him, at first I thought his initials had been A.M. Hoare - would have been a good one with Irish accent. Sorry, no....