Online relationship success stories

[phantasy_seeker]

We all know, it's hard to make it work out. It may be questionable whether it's actually easier or harder to maintain than RL ones, but we've all gotta admit that the risk of it NOT working out when it's brought to RL long term is quite substantial. I've been through many sites and communities, some which flat out scoffed at it.

However, I've heard that some people here in RL, long-term D/s relationships actually did start out online.. or perhaps some of you may know others who have. T'would be nice to hear some encouragement once in a while, so... Could you guys tell us a bit about your relationship? How long did you maintain it online before moving RL? What was the hardest part? What was the most important thing that made it work? How did you find the transition from online to RL like?... And all that sort of stuff. :)

[maddie]

We didn't have an online BDSM relationship, but I did meet my husband online. We've been married over 14 years now. I know a few other couples who have met online and had successful marriages.

The transition from O/L to R/L was a bit odd, i must say. We knew each other pretty well, but actually meeting him in person was strange. It was like part of the relationship had progressed to one point, but another part hadn't progressed at all. It took some getting used to, actually being with him.

[Talia]

hopefully I'll be able to contribute to this thread soon.

[_ID_]

My wife/slave and I met online. We chatted via email and then moved to IM. Shortly after that we chatted with video, and shortly after that we met for real. The transition didn't seem all that odd to me, just the having someone in the house that I wasnt used to, that was different, but not at all difficult. We've been married for 3 years this october, and couldnt be happier!

Good luck in your quest for that special someone.

V/R
ID

[Ruby]

My pet, Nathaniel, and I met online. He was bold and introduced himself after reading some of my stories.

We became friends first, using messenger to chat, then on the phone, and then one day, he asked if I would become his Miss.

That was over a year ago and we are having a wonderful time. Many would say we've switched to real life, since I've met him in person. Though that was at least six months after we'd first spoken on the phone. Because of our cross country status, phone, e-mail and messenger are our primary means of communication.

Hardest part - time zone differences for phone calls

Most important things that continue to make it work - communication and trust

Also, before we became "pet and miss" there was a great deal of negotiation, defining what those roles would mean to us and also defining our personal limits.

[Alex Bragi]

I'm involved with a man online. I'm in involved with a man off line too. :)
One fills a part of me that the other can't.

I've met lots of bdsm and vanilla couples who've met on line. It doesn't seem to be that difficult. A little like going a a blind date I guess. *ss*

[riverwindsong]

We didn't have an online BDSM relationship, but I did meet my husband online. We've been married over 14 years now. I know a few other couples who have met online and had successful marriages.



I had the same thing happen with my husband. We met online and have been together for 9 years, and married for 8. We're a bit backward on this issue, though...we didn't develop a D/s relationship (at least that we openly acknowledged) until the past six months or so. It's wonderful, being able to share that side of me with him, and him with me. :)

[angelfreak]

My Master and I met online...here actually. We started off on IM and within a week and a half or so started talking on the phone, sometimes for about 10 hours a day. We met for the first time after we'd known each other a month and then, after a little three day break, started up talking on the phone and IMing each other all the time again.

Now, I live here with him after about 3 months of knowing each other. It was actually a little less than 3 months when I moved here.

The hardest part, for me, was the distance and the fact that I still lived with my family. That got in the way of our play a lot.

The most important thing that made it work was the constant communication. Master could tell by my tone of voice when I answered the phone if something was bothering me...he could even tell by my silence in chat. Now, it wasn't always easy to tell him, but it was important to do. We/I had a couple rocky moments, but talking through them is what fixed it.

It's been...interesting moving into a RL relationship. It's a big change for both of us, me being the first female to live with him and my moving to practically the other side of the country. I agree with whoever said that the actual being with each other is a part of the relationship that is just now developing, but it's going really well and I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be. :)

[His_pita]

I met my Joe online in April of 2005. We were online for 10 months before moving in together last March 2, 2006. We didn't spend our time online "playing" D/s. We knew we wanted to live D/s together and not long distance. So, we spent lots of time really getting to know one another and what we wanted from each other. We dealt with real issues such as divorces, relocation for us both, and my teenager. It was easy getting together but it's without a doubt the best thing I have ever done in my life. He is my One and only and I adore him.

[phantasy_seeker]

Mucho thanks for your responses, guys. :)

Didn't those of you who've had to move cross-country have your niggling doubts though? Giving up your career, friends etc to be with him must've been hard, to say the least. How did you handle that?

It's been really encouraging, though, to hear that so many have made the leap from OL to RT and it succeeded. :)

[~hellish one~]

i have an online success story...

my vanilla husband and i were going through a divorce and i'd met a dominant man here online. it was at a different site, but that doesn't matter. the point is, we spent months and months getting to know each other, feeling out our likes and dislikes, talking on the phone for hours at a time, until we finally met and moved in together.

now most people wouldn't consider this relationship a success because it didn't end well at all. but to me it was a success because in the months we were together, it helped me realize that i was truly a submissive and it was something i needed in my life. i also gained tons of experience from the guy and even though things ended on a sour note, i'll never regret the decisions that were made that resulted in us hooking up in the first place. it was definitely a success in that it helped me learn a lot about myself and my needs.

on a happier note...ex-husband and i got back together after it was all said and done and are pretty darn happy! :)

[angelfreak]

Mucho thanks for your responses, guys. :)

Didn't those of you who've had to move cross-country have your niggling doubts though? Giving up your career, friends etc to be with him must've been hard, to say the least. How did you handle that?

It's been really encouraging, though, to hear that so many have made the leap from OL to RT and it succeeded. :)


Honestly, I didn't really have any doubts about it. I knew it was what I wanted to do and was the best decision for my ultimate happiness. I wasn't employed so I didn't have to leave a job. Yeah I was a little sad to leave my family, but it's not like I won't ever see them again.

I guess the hardest part in that respect is just getting used to not seeing my mom and brother every day, every week, or even every month. But it's well worth it in my opinion. :)

[wheele2000]

hi

My partner (and my sub) and I met online. I sent her an email to a story she wrote, for some reason she replied. At the time she was married to a man who would frequently hit her and treat her like a piece of rubbish.

We started to play dominant games almost straight away, but with no real intention of being together. She has always said that this gave her confidence to realise she was worth a lot more than her then husband gave her credit for.

Eventually she left him, moved in with her parents, then we started to talk about maybe getting together. One thing let to another and she moved in with me just over 5 years ago.

We're now really happy, as are her kids from her marriage and things are all going well. Her relationship with her husband is very distance, with the kids being the only reason she needs to talk to him.

I was a struggle but if its worth doing then it will happen. I have to admit that our families needed convincing a bit, we lived 500 miles apart when we met, but we both knew what we wanted so made it happen.

[phantasy_seeker]

I really do envy the amount of faith you had, angel.

To those of you who've posted, though, how long did you maintain it online? Just wondering if anyone else had to or will have to do it for years due to RL circumstances.

[~hellish one~]

To those of you who've posted, though, how long did you maintain it online? Just wondering if anyone else had to or will have to do it for years due to RL circumstances.

it was about a year online for me...before we moved to r/t.

[_ID_]

About 2 months of online for us before we moved to r/t.

[Tae'lyn]

Life has a funny way of making some things just work out.

I met him close to four years ago in an online game of all places. We were together online for a few months, but due to 'real life' circumstances we were unable to continue seeing each other.

Two years later life was in a much better place for both of us. Both of us were single and we began putting our relationship back together. We were online together for about eight months before we finally were able to meet in person. Our online communication is similar to most people here: messenger, ventrilo, webcam ect.

We have been together for a total of about two years now and I couldn't be happier. I would however like to be a bit closer than our current 3000 miles apart. We make due and try to save up to see each other in person as much as possible, but for now it works for both of us perfectly.

(as a side note, I always hate that real life vs online, makes it sound like our experiences online are worth less than in person experiences)

Tae'lyn

[Psynymph]

i'm glad this thread of started...i've been wondering about the same sort of stuff.....

i just posted a online personal ad here.....i'm hoping to one day have a sucess story of my own.

the problem with online stuff is that it's soo RARE to find someone who actually wants to take the time to get to know you.....they all want that quick fix....the online sex scenes or maybe even phone sex.

i hope i find someone that actually cares about the person behind the monitor so to say.

and to hellish one.......you have such a great outlook on things....the same sorta thing ended up happening with me.....but i maintained the same attitude.....:D

[caged]

I'll add my own 'success story'.

I met my Mistress/Owner/wife via alt.com. I lived in England, she in the USA, which was what I was looking for at the time - wanted to keep it all online and safe!

We played online for over a year, IMs and webcam, the occasional phone call. It was very up and down as I was also having a real life vanilla on-off-on-off relationship of sorts with a lovely girl, which complicated matters of course.

Ultimately I decided to end my vanilla relationship because I am a slave at heart, always have been really, and it was time to go for it. So the online relationship took a new level; exclusive, a contract all that stuff. And I coudn't wiggle out of meeting her, any more.

I visited her three times in the space of five months, and by the third time had committed to moving over the Atlantic. Two months later I did.

We found that after well over a year of online contact, meeting each other was amazingly easy and natural. As for me making the decision... it was quite hard. I am very attached to my home town, and I still miss it a lot. 3500 miles of water between me and my friends. But I'm living the life I always wanted to, deep down, and that is too good for words.

[DemonGoddess]

Relationship 1: Was with this wonderful, amazing guy, Chris who part of me will always love... I met him in a military chatroom that I spent alot of time in talking to my friends who were out of country or on varrious bases around the States. He lives in South Africa. He was a friend of a friend and one day while I was talking to one of our mutual friends and viewing his webcam he said that he had to go check out 'something' and then the camera died and he was logged out. So I was a little freaked out. Chris and I started talking and he was saying stuff like "It was probably nothing. just a technical problem" We started talking and getting to know eachother. He was comming over to the US during my spring break and we made plans to spend some time together. And I was going to be going to SA that summer. The week before he comming over he and his ex wife started talking and then he and I started talking about it, their relationship, and their divorce. And basicly I told him that it sounded to me that he still was in love with her and that I thought that they needed to give it another chance. Now they're re-married and have a baby. Even though we're not together I consider it to have been a succesful relationship.

Relationship .32: I met this guy the same awy that Chris and I met. But that relationship never really went beyond the friendship phase.

[phantasy_seeker]

Sorry for bringing this back up when it's rather old, but how did those of you who sustained long-term online relationships cope with the utter loneliness at times? You know, the times when RL screws either or both of you over, and there are days and days where you can't have any meaningful contact? Like, if you were staying together, a quick hug or so would reassure you that all's okay, but it really isn't that easy across a distance? When the physical limitations feel all too overwhelming, and it's hard to feel that connection when there's just text and not even enough time for much of it?

As you can see, I'm going through a slightly rough time here. Any advice or input would be welcome. :)

[Tae'lyn]

Well I just have to say that for me my Dom is my real life, whether we have contact online or not due to our long distance. Does work life get involved and in the way, absolutely. Does it change the way we feel towards each other, not at all. All relationships have to deal with work, school, family, and other life responsibilities getting in the way of a close relationship.

I go through stages where I just crave some meaningful contact together, but after being together for a couple years with our distance I am pretty used to these cycles. His schedule, my schedule, and everything else is just crazy. It ends up settling down shortly and we can both go back normal.

During these times I take as much as I can get. Whether it be a phone call where he whispers softly in my ear, or a quick text message between errands that make me smile.

I know it isn't any sort of advice on how to better get through it, I just am so used to the ups and downs now that I know everything will be fine whether I have two minutes with him or two hours. I am his no matter what I do in my life.

Tae'lyn

[fantassy]

Have you ever thought about calling each other via the Internet? It's free and allows you to pour out your soul on those lousy days far better (and faster) than mere text could allow. The sound of a loving voice can wrap itself around you soothing your hurts while you vent. And while you're sharing thoughts and feelings, it can feel like you are just actually talking soul to soul. Perhaps most important, just like in real life, you have to make time for each other. Sometimes people mistakenly relegate their online interactions to last place in their lives because it's not "real life."

fantassy

[Guest011909]

Well...my story is still unfolding...as all of ours are i guess...i met Master on another bdsm site - i believe it was this past October. i will be moving across the country to live with Him a week from now. W/we originally emailed, then IMed, then talked on the phone.

It is scary...leaving so much behind. But i have decided it is who i am and what i need. we'll see how it works out, shall we?