Do Masters have feelings too? MasterDrop?

[AdamPowers]

Hang with me for a minute as I try to define this question and put some real life examples behind it. I'm probably referring to two separate scenarios, but they both kind of fit together within the overall theme of this post.

I think stereotypically we classify men as being strong, confident... maybe uncaring at times. The 'man of the house' needs to be the support, strong and secure. Men don't cry.

Although most of us may not admit, I will... I do cry, heck even during some of those cheesy romantic movies. But I guarantee, this does not make me weak, or does it effect my ability to be Dominate in a relationship.

So I ask this. How do you view Master's feelings? Are they void, non-existent outside of making sure He is happy... insuring He is never upset? Or do you take great note of times when He may be sad, upset or depressed?

Back in March I lost my little pet who I loved with all of my heart. Maybe this is basic relationship discussion, but I seemed to go through a depression I had never experienced before with a typical break up. She meant something very special to me, I lost her, and no longer knew how to feel.

I know we can't expect to be emotionless when it comes to any type of relationship. But does this put a dent in the Masters figurtive 'armor' as He begins exploring new relationships and the topic comes up in conversation?

The second part to this can be expressed more through the occurance of everyday interaction. The emotional connection between the sub and Master can be overwhelming at times, but does it effect Master in the same way as it might the sub?

Anyways, some topics for you to hash out. I look forward to the replies.

- Adam

[chattel69]

I was just talking about this last night...

I would rather have a Dom who was more in tune with their feelings and not afraid to show them. I know it is against the stereotypical male ego to be emotional but aren't we all about being against stereotypes?

[Timberwolf]

Thre's still a lot of stereotyping in our society about men and feelings. Frankly it's time we just stood up and collectivly booted it out the window. I've got feelings, we all do, and it's time to quit pretending that hiding that proves much of anything. I never was a stereotypical male (despite being an admitted armchair sports nut) and I've never really approved of the male stereotype that says bury your feelings. It accomplishes nothing as far as I'm concerned, but since enough of them cling to it, that makes it hard to get rid of.

I've never considered hiding feelings a sign of real strength and I doubt I ever will.

If a Master truly was cold and unfeeling, my question would be why are you serving him? You deserve better (whomever you are).

[_ID_]

The question appears to be addressed to submissives, but is in the general area, so I will post my take on it.

Everyone has feelings. Choosing to let the feelings be exposed, or keep them held tightly I think varies greatly upon how the person grew up, what their home life was like.

With that in mind, as a Dominant and a Master with my slave (who is also my wife), there was a point in my life that the emotional turmoil was so great that I couldn't in any shape or form provide the guiding sure footed state of mind that she was used to. It got to the point I was in a near mental break down. Our roles as who was the emotional rock and who was the one who needed emotional protection was reversed, to the point you might say our roles as Dom and sub were pseudo reversed. Things have gotten back to where they were before, and we are happy they have.

So to your question of do Masters feel, I believe it is a matter of perspective.

V/R
ID

[Ozme52]

Well, the title and the content are two different things.

You're talking about emotions... and not "Drop"

Sub drop may seem an emotional thing, and emotionally sensitive aftercare can alleviate it... but...

Drop is the aftereffect of an endorphin high. Endorphins are produced by the brain as a response to physical pain and fatigue pain (marathon runners for example.)

Dom/mes (masters and misstresses both, since you seem to have pointedly omitted them...) don't get Drop. We aren't generating endorphins.

(unless it was a marathon whipping session... and even then... I doubt it.)

Now... is there an equivalent adrenaline aftereffect? Only if it goes unused. I suspect again, there aren't many cases where that happens either... Maybe if at the height of a session, the safeword gets used and the scene ends... but that wouldn't require and emotional assist to get over it.

So I vote no. No such thing as Master Drop.

[Ozme52]

Do Dom/mes have feelings?

That answer can be found all over these boards. :mountie: :super: :cool:

[_ID_]

Dom/mes (masters and misstresses both, since you seem to have pointedly omitted them...) don't get Drop. We aren't generating endorphins.

I disagree to a certian degree.

When I am in a scene with a submissive. I get involved in it to the point of being so focused, so in tune with them that I sense each muscle movement, each flex of each limb. I am aware of any movement within my vision. For example when I do a sensual flogging or cropping or caning, I work up quite a sweat, and so naturally some endorphines will be generated. I have talked with some people, and they describe this as a Dominants version of subspace, and refered to it as Domspace. I have also talked with people that say if you are at that level of an endorphine high you are not in control, and are in danger of harming the submissive/bottom. I disagree with them since due to my heightened level of attention to the surroundings I am more aware of their need to slow things down, or increase the intensity. I take breaks during all this to vary the impact and heighten the sensations that the body is feeling.

I never use a windmill type of flogging stroke, as I feel it is sloppy and can lead to harm since the tails of the flogger tend to wrap tighter with each revolution. Due to that style it takes me more effort than what would normally be exerted to conduct a scene.

All that said, if we are talking endorphine drop vs feelings, then I would agree with you about the Masterdrop, in that we don't normally experience it as a submissive would simply because the type of mental activity that is occuring is of a different sort, and the Dominant/Top doesn't tend to have a dropping effect.

Perhaps my take on this is not what was ment in the post however. If I am off, then I appologize for the misunderstanding.

V/R
ID

[TomOfSweden]

This is an extremly intersting thread. I've had to read this several times and spend the night thinking about it.

I think it's important that a Master is calm and level headed. Safety is important. No matter how horny the Dom is he/she must always be able to evaluate any situation. This means for me that when I dominate a woman that I always have to hold my emotions back a bit as to not lose control. I'm a sadist. I would have no problems beating her to a pulp, but I know in my brain somewhere far back that it's important to see to her pleasure, (and safety) so I stop before there's any permanent damage. I think that does make me a bit emotionaly hampered. I have trouble opening up, and bursting out in emotion. I always hold myself back a bit. I doubt it started with me being dominant. I think I've always been like this.

In contrast being a slave means that you don't have responsibility in the same way. All a slave needs to do is follow orders, no matter what emotions they're displaying, and if they screw up their Master takes care of the punishment. They don't need to set limits for themselves.

In this situation I think slaves will have more easy access to emotions than Masters.

[Ozme52]

I disagree to a certian degree.

When I am in a scene with a submissive. I get involved in it to the point of being so focused, so in tune with them that I sense each muscle movement, each flex of each limb. I am aware of any movement within my vision. For example when I do a sensual flogging or cropping or caning, I work up quite a sweat, and so naturally some endorphines will be generated. I have talked with some people, and they describe this as a Dominants version of subspace, and refered to it as Domspace. I have also talked with people that say if you are at that level of an endorphine high you are not in control, and are in danger of harming the submissive/bottom. I disagree with them since due to my heightened level of attention to the surroundings I am more aware of their need to slow things down, or increase the intensity. I take breaks during all this to vary the impact and heighten the sensations that the body is feeling.

I never use a windmill type of flogging stroke, as I feel it is sloppy and can lead to harm since the tails of the flogger tend to wrap tighter with each revolution. Due to that style it takes me more effort than what would normally be exerted to conduct a scene.

All that said, if we are talking endorphine drop vs feelings, then I would agree with you about the Masterdrop, in that we don't normally experience it as a submissive would simply because the type of mental activity that is occuring is of a different sort, and the Dominant/Top doesn't tend to have a dropping effect.

Perhaps my take on this is not what was ment in the post however. If I am off, then I appologize for the misunderstanding.

V/R
ID


This may be a matter of semantics Dawg. What you are describing reminds me of that special awareness one achieves when one's focus is perfect. It has happened to me during martial arts combat. Some call it Zen, others call it total awareness of Chi.

If indeed, I've interpreted your comments correctly, I have to say I never felt bad, (i.e., a drop) afterwards. It is exhilirating.

[cariad]

Listening with interest...

cariad

[_ID_]

Yes, exhilirating would be a good description.

V/R
ID

[AdamPowers]

FYI, I did have two basic themes/questions going through this thread. They might even both stimulate extensive conversation in separate posts, but none the less, we've dove into them.

I think the easier one to discuss is about natural separation after a break up in a relationship. We all go through our own process of dealing with the loss of someone you have cared for. For me personally, what I noticed was when I broke up with my last girlfriend in a D/s relationship, I suffered a depression unlike I had ever felt for someone before. MAYBE because I still have feelings for her, or MAYBE there is something more behind it. The caring, nurturing and mental/emotional feelings I gave to her was gone and I was left feeling a severe loss. Again, I have been in a lot of relationships before, mostly vanilla... so why did I feel so much different from this D/s break-up than the vanilla ones?

--- Part 2 ---

I believe being stable, strong, level headed and safe are the keys to the experience. Tom mentioned this and I would agree. However the concepts of a MasterDrop I would say are not too far out of the realm of possibilities. We know as Men, our bodies handle endorphins, adrenalin and testosterone differently. It may take us a bit longer to come down from the high, but heck, look at sex in general. Why is it we men fall asleep right after sex? Stress Release? Chemical Embalance? We go through an emotional and physical exertion... I believe it's only natural to feel some type of effects after play.

- Adam

[~hellish one~]

i would be afraid if i were with a man (dominant or not) that was incapable of expressing his feelings.

love this thread, btw!! :cayvvotg:

[violetgem]

i would be afraid if i were with a man (dominant or not) that was incapable of expressing his feelings.

love this thread, btw!! :cayvvotg:

I agree

[Tojo]

As Oz says, the answer to whether a Dom has feelings is all over the forums.

I had my heart broken once & won't be getting over it in a big hurry, if ever.

After having a session, regardless of the intensity I've never felt down. It's a wonderful glow which doesn't go away. I can still remember sessions with my first sub & how it felt.

I'm not sure how much of a Dom I may or may not be, but I sure do have feelings, both good & bad. This morning I feel very nice indeed. :)


Tojo

[collapseduniverse{T}]

I would have a major problem if ANYONE I was involved with didn't show their emotions, especially in this world. I mean, are we not a sect devoted nearly entirely to trust? And if one cannot be trusted with anothers emotions, how can one be trusted with anything at all. Emotion is a basic, primal thing, and neccessary. I would not want someone who was a blank cold slate, nor would I care to be one. A Master/Mistress must be caring and compassionate, as well as dominate and agressive. I mean, if all you are is horny, that's really not a relationship, as far as I'm concerned.
On the matter of a low after a session, I would have to say that, while it occurs very rarely, and usually only because of exhaustion, I likely suffer far more of that than Master does.
I don't think it is easier in either position to show emotion, though it is more expected of a sub.

In other words. Trust eachother with everything you have, because if you don't, you'll have nothing.

[MJs dhyanna]

Well said little one!