View Full Version : OK... so there's this Dom...
Desperadosong
09-21-2006, 11:59 PM
We've talked online for months and we've become friends. He's let me vent and sort of try to work out some emotional issues I have about returning to active in the lifestyle. Well, after an eceptionally ummm.... "honest and open" conversation about the things I like in the lifestyle, the things I miss in it etc.... he made a comment about "well come on over" and we laughed.... then I told him that it had just dawned on me that we had never exchanged where we lived. We both live in the same state! :1850:
Ds
Oh how cool! But if you're seriously planning on meeting him in real life... what perfect timing to go view sheepish's new thread "Moving from O/l to R/l". Good advice in there.
Desperadosong
09-22-2006, 12:08 AM
Thank you mina.... I'll check it out, but I was active in the state's lifestyle for years r/l. I was owned for years as well to my Ex husband/Ex Dom. I've only stepped out for a year or so. That's why this rather threw me... I'm almost willing to bet when I see him, we've met before and never knew it! lol
Ds
Haha that'd be pretty neat though... unless when you see him you're like "oh hell no it's HIM" or something, lol.
Silke
09-22-2006, 05:14 AM
Ooohh, this is so cool!! How do you feel about meeting him? :)
Desperadosong
09-22-2006, 07:44 AM
Well, it's been about 6 months or so that we've been talking. We've talked online and the phone, but never with the thought of meeting. It's just so weird that he lives right here in this state. I'm apprehensive to say the least, but intrested in meeting him as we've had so many deep and intresting discussions. And When I go up there, I'll have my Jade with me...
(Is that how ya post pics here?) No that is hot linking you can attach a picture Sorry....
It may be a lil bit before we actually meet, I'm busy with work and getting the garden all canned and stuff. I'll keep ya'll posted.
Ds
maddie
09-22-2006, 07:57 AM
What a cute dog! And so big!
*backs away slowly and fishes some treats from my pocket*
Silke
09-22-2006, 07:58 AM
Jade is cuuuuuuuute. :D Now, how did you post this without me approving the pic? lol If I upload pictures, they always end up as clickable thumbnails...;)
Good luck with meeting him...I hope he lives up to what you expect and deserve!!
dzire2pleeze
09-22-2006, 08:09 AM
woo hoo...love when things like this happen...~smiles~ and i am quite confident that "Jade" will keep him in line. Good luck to you.
frankee
09-22-2006, 08:42 AM
Ds,
i hope everything goes well for you. awwwwwwwww Jade is so damn cute!!!!
Silke
09-22-2006, 09:03 AM
'k, Ds...Rabbit just answered the question I asked you, lol. I was wondering how you could just include a picture into your post...
If you need any help with attaching a picture - i. e. uploading it here - just send me a PM and I'll walk you through the steps. :)
Ozme52
09-22-2006, 09:32 AM
We've talked online for months and we've become friends. He's let me vent and sort of try to work out some emotional issues I have about returning to active in the lifestyle. Well, after an eceptionally ummm.... "honest and open" conversation about the things I like in the lifestyle, the things I miss in it etc.... he made a comment about "well come on over" and we laughed.... then I told him that it had just dawned on me that we had never exchanged where we lived. We both live in the same state! :1850:
Ds
He knew.
I know.
Michigan. :cool:
Ozme52
09-22-2006, 09:38 AM
(Is that how ya post pics here?) Ds
To post a picture, put it on your own computer. Select the Go Advanced button. Scroll down and Manage Attachments. Hit the Browse button in the pop-up and select the picture(s) you want to upload. Hit the Upload button. When complete, close the pop-up. You'll see your picture(s) listed. Type your message and post.
Desperadosong
09-22-2006, 12:54 PM
ok... I did it (I think) Thank you Ozme for the help. It says pending approval, so hopefully it's right this time.
Ds
Desperadosong
09-22-2006, 01:02 PM
He knew.
I know.
Michigan. :cool:
Yes, my profile here says "the mitten"... but this isn't where we met, and he doesn't go on forums. He knows me by my yahoo nick, kaza.
Ds
Silke
09-22-2006, 03:22 PM
Looks like it worked, eh? Awesome!!! :)
Aussiegirl1
09-22-2006, 08:20 PM
Oh, there is just so much good news on the forum today.
I do hope when you meet, it is just as good ,if not better, than the last six months online has been.
Good luck!
Desperadosong
09-27-2006, 01:17 PM
UPDATE:
OK, we have been talking a LOT, about everything from hobbies to lifestyle beliefs and what we do and don't enjoy in it. We have so very much in common both in and out of the lifestyle, which is important. We discussed the fact that I 'need' a firm, "stern" Master... and the fact that I've been burned, and that I will sort of test him when we meet. I told him what I need in regards to that. He mentioned that he's not sure if he would do that (besides a stern look) due to legal implications that "could" happen. This I understand completely, but also mentioned that at meeting, nothing that deep would happen. Probably coffee at a local coffee shack. But his demeanor and expressions can say a lot! (to me) He said he does not even give "the look" until a girl has submitted to him. How do I ask him how am I sposed to know if I'd want to submit until I can see how he will react or what level he would react to? I don't want to make him feel like I doubt him, because I really don't. We got into the whole "submission vs surrender discussion... and I am just befuggled trying to find a way to tell him it's OK to give me "the look" when I push his buttons. Maybe I should try to convince myself that it's a vanilla meeting the first few times so I do not "test" him or look for his dominance? Oh heck! Maybe I've just been out of this too long, but I know me, and I need a strong, fairly strict Dominant. Now, I know you all are going to reply with the standard..."nothing should happen on the first meeting"... but it's not like I am looking for a scene or anything, just that right amount of dominance maybe? Hard to explain...
[/ramble]
Ds
Silke
09-27-2006, 02:26 PM
Oh man, Ds....I so KNOW what you mean!! It's what I'm checking for in basically every man I run across, lol. I'm looking for 'the look', even just for a split second...*sighs*
Not sure how to elicit one in your man, though. I've seen it happen naturally with one or two guys I know, just a little playful version of it...and it made my knees weak, I'm tellin ya, lol.
phantasy_seeker
09-27-2006, 08:23 PM
Perhaps he will be looking for cues from you just as much as you will be looking for 'dominant' clues from him? Body language and gentle hints that show him that it's okay to express his dominant side around you might do far more than hours of discussion can, IMHO. :)
Wishing you all the best!
Flaming_Redhead
10-02-2006, 12:52 PM
Hmmm....I do love to push buttons and see what will happen. :4:
My apologies for not replying sooner desperadosong. Perhaps my post was eaten by gremlins? :confused:
Heartiest congratulations to you, this sounds great!
A wise decision to just meet for coffee the first time. You can't tell everything by that, but you can sure tell a lot.
Somehow I think you're pretty darn smart & seem to know what you want- you're more than half way there. I predict it'll be great.
Go girl!
(& keep us posted of course....)
Tojo
Desperadosong
10-04-2006, 01:38 PM
Well....
Due to the death of a friend of mine I haven't made it to meet him, but we keep talking. I haven't been around puters (or the phone for that matter) that much latley, but we've still been talking.
Thank you all for your words of both encouragement and congrats (even that I feel is a bit early lol)
I tend to be a tad ummm.... leary when meeting people. Having been "out" of the lifestyle for a couple years (due to a not so nice experience) I am falling back on all the good years I had in the lifestyle to remember what to watch for etc. I know the safecall and all that, I used to teach saftey at one of the local munches years back.
Hopefully, my life will mellow out now that the canning is done, the garden is plowed, the hay is in and all that and I'll have the time to go meet him.
Ds
Sounds like you've got it well sussed Des.
Sorry to hear of your troubles, if he's a decent chappie he'll understand & be prepared to wait.
I'll let you get back to canning hay & gardening- 'vive la country life' :wave:
Tojo
Ozme52
10-04-2006, 09:51 PM
Canning now.... caning later.
Desperadosong
10-04-2006, 11:11 PM
Canning now.... caning later.
LOL!!!! Perhaps in time.... :rolleyes:
Ds
Havensov
11-21-2006, 07:48 AM
ok, after reading this thread, what a wonderful situation to find your self in.
Ds- any chance you could update this on what happened?
Charlie Brown 169
11-25-2006, 08:57 PM
Sounds like a union made in heaven, able to talk for months and w/o disclosing where you live and then when it seems like it might work you are very close. Sounds like you may have a lot in common.
Charlie Brown 169
11-25-2006, 08:59 PM
Hmmm....I do love to push buttons and see what will happen. :4:
flaming-redhead how much does your clamp weigh? Just curious.
polarbear9889
12-02-2006, 03:24 AM
Ds, wish you the best from afar.
Like Tojo says "Go girl!"
**hugs**
janine80
12-05-2006, 08:04 AM
I found my sub online and we've been together now for 2 years. You will know if it's the right one for you.And when you do let your fantasy just roll out of ya.
Good luck
Desperadosong
12-08-2006, 10:28 AM
Well, we met. Met for coffee and that went well. He is polite with an aire about him. Gives that auora that he knows where he belongs (if that makes any sense). We agreed to meet for a couple hours, but next thing we knew they were kicking us out to close shop! :eek: We talked just as easily in person as we did online, which is always nice. He's handsome and carrys himself with pride and authority. (also hard to describe)
The second meeting was also at a coffee shack.. lol. (call me chicken, but have helpped way to manygirls after bad meeting experiences). We chatted and chatted, and yes, he DOES have "the look".. I got that out of him on that meeting with one lil "pfffht". ;) Since it was early, I invited him to the munch I was planning to go to that evening, and he agreed to go. We drove seperatly, and met up there. I watched closley how he interacted with the other lifestylers that I knew, and was pretty proud of him actually. Most of them know me and my experiences in the past and asked questions I about died when I heard them! But, he never even flinched and answered every one in detail. :) They all told me later that he seems a decent, well learned (lifestyle-wise) and appeared to be a "good catch"... to which I replied.."I haven't let him catch me yet". ;)
Our third meeting was a bit .... ummm... more for my own mind than anything... we went horsebackriding and then when we came back, I was saying bye and how we had so much fun, but had chores to do etc... and he asked if I would mind if he stayed to help! (I about fainted at that) I chuckled and explained that I was cleaning the hog pen, and that he "really" wouldn't enjoy that. He really floored me when he smiled and said that there's a lot we may not like, but are good things to do together. So, I handed him a pitchfork and some old barncoat, boots etc... and off we went to clean the hog pen.. (my LEAST favorite job!). When that was done, we just sorta kept going till the goat, horse and chicken pens were all clean. omg how we laughed! I invited him to stay for dinner, was the least I could do for all the help ya know ;). Over dinner I teased him that he had arrived all nicley dressed and a "city boy" and now look at him... all grubbed out and sweaty. We said our goodbyes and he....
...
.... kissed my hand, smiled and left! ACKKKK!!! that falls under the "romance" catagory!!! RED, RED, RED!!!!!
My gf says that's something ALL girls crave, and that I was lucky he was like that... but honestly, it made me want to bolt.
So, he and I talked about it (a lot) and how I felt about it etc... and he simply said that it was the way he was, and I'd either get used to it, or have my ass warmed one day. :eek: Now, before ya'll start saying he had no right to say that... it weakened my knees to hear those words from him. :yeah:
So, last time I saw him, we had dinner, talked and basically started to feel the ground of a "relationship" and where the boundries were... in a weird way. He pushed me a tad, I replied with a lil more submission... I nudged him, and he recripricated with "the look" etc...
Yeah, so far, so good.... :hubba:
Ds
TomOfSweden
12-08-2006, 10:57 AM
Seriously. He seems like a really nice guy who does his best to make a good impression. If he's such a good catch as you make it sound, I suggest you don't make his work any harder. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but me personally in his shoes, would have allready given up. Having to make an effort is one thing, but you're really stringing him along.
And with the kiss on the hand thing. Could it be that you're doing your best in finding faults in him? If he's suposed to be a Dom, I'm pretty sure he'll be less romantic when you have sex with him.
I think he proved he has feelings for you when he helped out with the hog pen. Yuck.
Enough back-seat driving for one day. I'm sure there's a million reasons why you've done what you've done that you didn't write. Opening up your heart is a big step, but if you don't nothing will happen.
Good luck, take care and please keep us posted.