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MrJerseyGuy
10-15-2003, 12:06 PM
My story, Training Laurie, has been well received and I very much appreciate all the great reviews. I'm kind of stuck on how to proceed. If anyone has an idea we are all ears.

Curtis
10-17-2003, 05:42 PM
I'm being presumptous(sp.) here, but I vote that you try for variety rather than increased intensity. I know nearly every story (including my own) starts slowly and gets more and more intense. Eventually, you're left with the problem you now face -- how can it possibly get any "harder" without killing the poor girl?

Try doing some things that are different WITHOUT being any (or much) more intense.

If your question was really, "What different can we do?", uhm...I dunno.

slave ruthie
10-23-2003, 06:09 AM
i found this a very interesting, very graphic story and wondered on several occacions what i might feel like (not the physical sensations but inside my head) if i were in her situation...

would it be possible for you to write a bit from the slave's perspective? i should think her mind is absolutely racing - in a turmoil because she's been subjected to so much hurt and humiliation yet she's drawn to it and has been gratified by it too (maybe she's slightly horrified by her reactions and eagerness to be in such a submissive position). unless she has been brought to life like soem kind of sexual robot, she will have very clear ideas of what "good" is...and what is "bad". in the story she is being systematically reduced to a sexual animal - she might be secretly excited by this but also secretly ashamed of her desires (i don't know about men but for us females there's a huge load of moral stuff that implies we are either "pure" or "wicked" with no middle ground). perhaps your female character is trying to make sense of what's been happening to her.

its your story and your perspective that makes it unique, but i thank you for making me think about this girl - perhaps she keeps a diary about her experiences?

love

ruthie[Phil]

XXXXXX;)