Parameters of BDSM - questions from a novice

[SurpriseMe]

Hi -

I've been recently exploring and awakening to deeper elements of my sexuality and am so intrigued by BDSM. I know it excites me, but I have questions, ideas, philosophies, etc. I wrote them out, but they are about eight times the word limit for a message here in the forum - yikes! :)

So, I have started a geocities page and pasted my writing there for anyone who would be so good as to take the time. The link is http://www.geocities.com/surpriseme192003/index.html

Please forgive the fact it is all one paragraph at this point as I have not yet had the time to figure out how to indicate paragraphs in HTML....

Thanks so much in advance for anyone's input!

K.

[Escritor]

You should enclose each paragraph by <p> and </p>

Regards

[SurpriseMe]

Thanks so much for the HTML tip!

Also thanks to the member who sent me a message saying he could not get to my page from my link. I am having similar problems with almost every other geocities link I'm receiving from other people - what's up with Yahoo!

I think, tho, that I had a period after the link that it was picking up, so I've edited the above link and I think it will work now.

If it doesn't and you would still care to read my diatribe ;) , just send me a message and I would be happy to send it to you as a Word attachment. In fact, after Oct. I will probably just take it off the website since I don't know how long I really want it on the Internet.

Thanks again.....

[masterkurt]

Dear novice,

I red your interesting considerations and my answer is that you have definitely a submissive potential ... so yes, you are "a BDSM person".

Yes, I would say, there are many different levels and perspectives in BDSM .... every person is different, even if similar desires and fantasies arise in different persons.

I would also add that besides different tastes and preferencies, there is generally an evolution in each person's erotic tastes and habits that comes along with experience and practice... so that in a future you may do and enjoy something you would consider absolutely unattractive or even non-acceptable right now.

The evolution or escalation of BDSM plays will not depend solely from you, but very much from the interaction between you and your partner, or partners, in your present and future sentimental and sexual life.

Feelings (sentiments), love, the desire to please the loved person, can and will play an important role in all this ... and you may discover a lot more about yourself and about what you really like.

In ten years of loving relation between my former slave caroline and me, we did an incredible amount of miles together discovering new aspects of the game and trying things we never would have even mentioned in the first times of our story ...

We never did anything dangerous (apart from underestimating some whip, so that sometimes she had to bear some marks for longer than forecasted) ... but we did really almost everything of what you can read or see on the BDSM scene.

But caroline was a particular case, as she had a strong resistance to pain. Other slaves will never endure some of the things she did, but will nevetheless enjoy their submission, perhaps with less pain and more enphasis on discipline, or bondage or humiliations or sexual acts. Still they are all definitely submissives and into the general BDSM play.

I also remember a case of a very true slave-girl that has been exploring BDSM for years under the guide of her dominating husband, that has been very much on painful submission at the beginning of her BDSM history and slowly moved over to a BDSM vision more focused on being rented, used and very strongly humiliated. She would still accept some sound whipping, but just incidentally ... her preference would be being exposed to strangers, serve them, lick them ,clean them and so on...

From what I red, you BDSM experience, at the moment, is limited to fantasies and self-play .... the big step is when you start plaing with a real partner.

kindes regards

Kurt

[mackie]

To me there is not a hard border with BDSM on one and 'nilla on the other side. It's one big line with the extremes on the ends and everybody got to find out where his or her favourite spot is. Or you segue from one mood into another, even on one evening. As long as you can communicate honestly, you can go where ever you want.
So start exploring with the one you love and trust, and enjoy yourself.

[SurpriseMe]

Thanks for the responses on this! I bet maybe in the future I might stretch my limits a little more - you're right, M. Kurt!

Good news is that my lover is getting a little more willing to 'play'. I think almost everybody needs time to get used to the idea. It was a long time for me until I could give up the feeling that something was wrong with me for these desires.

Thanks again!
K.

[Lord Thomas]

Surprise Me,

Welcome to O/our little world of kink. I love to see peopel investigating what really amkes them tick. Congratulations on finding yoruself.


For what its worth, BDSM is for the individual participants and thier particular tastes and comfort zones. Just because you do not feel you would personaly enjoy "extreme" aspects of play, does not mean anything. It is your comfort level(s) that matter.

I do beleive you know youa re submissive. That does not mean you have to enjoy pain, there are many peopel who do not. Of course, around here there are those who do enjoy the hot kiss of pain.

Find what you and your partner are comfortable with, and go with that.

Keep it safe, sane, and consensual; and enjoy your self discovery.

~LT~

[MrBondskin]

The link that you listed is popping up a lot whenever you try to click on what would seem to be a legitimate link. << tooncomics.com/main/k.php?key=BDSM.>> It's not just a Yahoo problem. I tried to review a story on BdsmLibrary just a minute ago and each time I click on the link "review it" I am sent to some redirect through "tooncomics". Anybody know how to prohibit that ToonComics redirect?

[pinklove162003]

As I am just at the begining of my way at BDSM pls. can someone explain the meaning of "vanila" and "24/7.
Thanks Regards

[Mobius]

Originally posted by pinklove162003
As I am just at the begining of my way at BDSM pls. can someone explain the meaning of "vanila" and "24/7.
Thanks Regards

Vanila is stright Sex (lights off man on top boring)
24/7 is 24 hours a day 7 days a week (full time comintment)

[SurpriseMe]

Thank you also, LT, for your response - I feel really embraced here (maybe even 'tied in'.. ). I really was not expecting this level of acceptance without really seeing myself as a 'lifestyler' (yet?).

About the link message - I hope it's not some problem I created for you? I don't know anything about 'tooncomics'. If it's my link I really apologize - I'll probably be removing the page soon anyway. (Perhaps I deserve punishment?? ;) )

K.

[MrBondskin]

Hello 'Surprise Me'

Maybe you do deserve punishment...
But probably not for the 'tooncomics' link problem.
I think I have spyware or adware problem that's converting
legit links into this redirect. I shouldn't have implicated you so quickly. These computers drive me crazy, you know. They don't respond to whips, chains, and shibari binding like humans do.