playing while under the influence

[InnerTemptress]

hello all ...

it's been a while since i've posted. all is going well with me and i hope that you are all good.

i am looking for the opinions of Doms and subs alike regarding being under the influence during play time for both the Dom and the sub. Specifically I'd like to know your opinion about playing while under the influence of marjuana but also would like to know your comments about playing under the influence of any drug from alchol and beyond.

thanks for your help and wise words

innertemptress

[everwilling]

...I kept forgetting to say stop....

[-angelstar-]

drugs - no. never. should not be considered imho.

alcohol - preferbly not. but a drink or two to relax is fine i guess. just know your limits so that you're still perfectly aware of what's going on :p

[SMartie57]

The two just do not mix too well - I would never touch drugs, especially not those that alter your perceptive capacities.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

'Nuff said.

[Jones, Nikka]

Drugs or Alcohol ? No. Never. Under any circumstances. Besides, I want to feel everything there is to feel, from aprehension,to fear to pain to pleasure and be able to remember every little detail the day after. Remember that the first S in SS&C stands for Safe.

[Lord Thomas]

Under the influence...?


I have to say that I do not recommend it. Whether alchohol, or other less legal drugs. I would even expand that to over the counter and prescription medicines that affect you personaly in your ability to comprehend and make quick choices. Now, everyone is different and to some an over the counter allergy pill may do little than reduce allergy sufferings; yet to another person it can produce a very drowsy affect.

The same would be true with all drugs. They can affect people in different ways. Knowing yourself is important.


However, I would like to point out why I am agaisnt using drugs in session.

First, of course is the safety aspect. For a submissive, the use of chemicals may reduce your agility to know your own limitations. It could possibly reduce your comprehension of what was happening to you. Beyond, any safety issues that can be seen with that; the submissive may not be able to thouroughly take the mental plunge of sinking into subspace due to the mind alterations of the drugs.
A Dom/me on the other hand under the influence of anything other than His/Her own devious mind could nto excerscise the complete control of His/Her own emotions and actions that is required for safety and trust from the submissive. None of Us want to break our toys, then how would We play next time?

Second, beyond safety, I would say that the parties in a D/s relationship owe one another the knowledge that the submissives submission comes entirely from the heart and mind fo the submissive with no veil of chemicals. Also, the Dominant owes the submissive the knowledge that the Dominant is in control, of Him/Herself first, the submissive second, and the entire situation completely, third.

The use of drugs in session is, to Me anyway, a redflag of danger. If not immiediate physical danger, but more a danger of loosing trust that is the solid foundation upon which D/s is built. Both subs and Dom/mes must know that thier oppisites are where they should be mentally for a session.

Enough preaching...
I know that it sounds like I am a teetotaling anti-drug pinup boy. I am not. The use of alcohol and drugs is a personal choice and so long as it is not done in a manner to endanger others, ie while driving or in session, I have no problem with it. And yes, I do like the occasional rob roy, glass of wine with dinner, or bottle of rum, or....

thanks,
~LT~

[everwilling]

Okay, I know I'm going to get slammed, again, but it's been a while and the bruises from my previous comments have all healed.

I don't drink. If I do, I get sick to my stomach (literally) before I get drunk.

However, I've been with a few women that had an amazing capacity to get falling down drunk (I think they call it being shit-faced) and not get sick (well, they did have a headache afterwards).

So, being the sexually manipulative pervert that I am, and not above getting into a little mind-fucking every know and then, I'd take my semi-conscious partner and apply some mild bondage: She can't move her arms or legs, she's naked and exposed, and I'm telling her that tonight, she's going to get the caning of her life! I don't believe in safe words, and begging will only make matters worse.

Feeling a little thirsty? Here, have another sip (of whatever). Okay, here we go.

The first stroke of the cane is hard and quick, right onto the top of a wooden chair. Crack! How'd that feel? What! You didn't feel anything? Again, the cane comes down, this time on an exposed breast or thigh. The force is virtually nil, leaving just a faint mark. My sub eye's are rolling around, her ability to discern reality is seriously diminished. She's getting the caning of her life, she'll be marked forever, and she's missing half of it.

Well, you can imagine what the next morning is like. Seeing her standing in front of the mirror, knowing that she's marked, but where? Was this session just a bad dream? Did it really occur?

This results of this session are the one topic I refuse to discuss with my sub. We'll just have to wait until next time.

Note 1: My worst scene was tying a drunk sub up, then having to clean the mess up after she vomited because she couldn't get to the bathroom in time.

Note 2: All subs, when in this state of reduced cognition, where never blindfolded or gagged - one is too scary, the other too dangerous.

Note 3: The following morning this scene was good for a laugh (at least on my part), especially when describing the begging to not be hurt.

Okay, I'm ready. Give me your best shot.

[Lord Thomas]

ROFLMAO!

Alright everwilling, You have apealed to My sadistic sense of humor over My safe and conscenual first nature. I love it! Cane the hell out of the chair! How cruel, I love it.

Love it yes, aprove..., I can not. It just seems too easy to abuse Your position as a Dom with an inebriated submissive. I know that drunk people are much more loose adn less likely to be hurt by physical trauma than people who are not. But in that fact alone lies a danger that you would push yourself too hard upon Your sub.

Also, no gagging at all, that could be readily fatal. Never ever gag anyone who is intoxicated. Thanks everwilling for pointing out the danger in gags with drunken subs.

Can't help it, I am still laughing at the thought of your sub wondering where they were marked and being told that they had begged for mercy. How wicked, Man. A bit irresponsible maybe, but delisciously evil. Cheers, oh wait, You don't drink, My bad.
:cool:

~LT~

[BDSM_Tourguide]

That the act of sex is a legal and binding contractual agreement between two people?

Did you also know that no one can enter into a legally binding contract is they are legally intoxicated, or "shit faced" as it were?

Therefore, by the definition of legal terminology, you have violated the consensuality of the BDSM relationship by engaging in the activity in which you practiced. Also, by a loose definition of legal terminology, you have comitted rape.

That is why my ONLY response to this question will ever be "Don't do it."

[BDSM_Tourguide]

To elaborate slightly on my previous post and not get too hounded by Curtis, et al. I will post something slightly less black and white on the subject.

I know people use alcohol in order to "loosen things up." I understand that and have no problems with it. However, any more than one or two drinks, depending on body mass and all, is approaching a safety limit. I would seriously discourage ANY BDSM-related activities after this stage has been reached.

Also, any other non-OTC drugs (marijuana, cocaine, etc.) should NEVER be used in conjunction with a BDSM scene. I don't give a damn if your submissive begs to be tied up and beaten to a bloody pulp while you snort an entire brick of coke out of her pussy, do not do it! If anything goes wrong, and it very likely will, you leave yourself open to all sorts of legal ramifications. More importantly, you give the BDSM community yet another black eye and we have plenty of them as it is.

So, keep your partying and your bondage seperate. Act like a responsible adult while you have someone's life literally in your hands.

[InnerTemptress]

Thank Y/you all for your comments. i asked the question because the Dom that i am seeing does smoke pot on a regular basis and we have gotten into intimate situations while the effects were likely still there. he hasn't pushed a D/s scene ... yet. i just wanted to be sure of my response and discuss it before it happened to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

anyway .. onward i go.

thanks

[boccaccio2000g]

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide



That the act of sex is a legal and binding contractual agreement between two people?

."

Indeed?

It might yet be well for the (supposedly) weaker sex to heed the words that the villainous Black Jack Slocum growled to the beautiful Native American maiden as she tried to wriggle from his rapacious grasp, moments before he ripped the skimpy animal skins from her voluptuous body:

"So Sioux me."

Big Jake

[BDSM_Tourguide]

At least I think it is. Maybe some of our newer members have been curious about this.

[mastercoyote]

For me, one of the most attractive things about BDSM (and Tantra, Shibari, etc.) is the inducement of the release of the body's natural chemicals to create an altered state. What would be the point of screwing with the mixture of pheramones, adrenaline, seratonin, etc. by introducing artificial chemicals?

Just my opinion, of course. I could be wrong... or high!

[Cokera]

I think the natural high from extreme and romantic sexual situations should be quite enough to satisfy any person. I understand the loosening up factor but I agree with tourguide "just do not do it" and certainly to extremes as has happened to unfortunately many in the past. Safety cannot be an underestimated factor in anything we may or maynot do in our own private lives. That being said though. Is it really safe to be flogged 50 times for just being rude about................ :cool: :confused:

[NaturalSub]

I always used to swear blind that I would never willingly enter into a scene when I had been drinking.

However, one night, whilst I was staying at a playfriends house, I got a bit pissed, I'd discovered a liking for red wine. I knew that I was pissed, but I also have a remarkable capacity to appear sober, when actually, my mind is like jelly, and as talking wasn't part of the deal, he didn;t notice me slurring my words.

We got into a scene and I did things that I know normally I never would have agreed to, I know that at some point I was suspended over his landing by my wrists, and flogged, hard.

I was in a lot of pain the next day, and not the good sort of pain, I felt totally used. Now, I know that the blame lies firmly with both of us, I know how much I'd had to drink and knew I was drunk but didn;t want to upset him, but also, he'd known how much I'd drank, and I don't know many people who would still eb totally sober after 1 1/2 bottles of wine.

It definately made me reaffirm in my mind, never to mix drinking and scening again. I lost all trust in my playfrined and we haven;t played since. But hey, you live and you learn!

[mastercoyote]

...I did things that I know normally I never would have agreed to...


Yet another reason I don't take mind-altering substances anymore, besides coffee and chocolate, anyway. But i'm kinda extreme on that. Having done volunteer work at a homeless shelter (balancing out my karma from all the wickedness I get up to!), I just got totally turned off on drugs and booze.

Besides, I like adreneline better when it's pure and uncut...

[ProjectEuropa]

Specifically I'd like to know your opinion about playing while under the influence of marjuana but also would like to know your comments about playing under the influence of any drug from alchol and beyond.



Drugs and alcohol seem to negate the whole point of the exercise. Putting the safety aspect aside, surely one of the main aims and the major reward of being a Dom is to revel in the object of ones desire? That is best done sober and with a lucid mind.

If I drink wine or beer it's because I enjoy good wine or beer, not to simply get pissed out of my head on any crap. If I take drugs, it is for the experience of the drug. If I am with a woman, it's because she is my object of desire, my drug and my alcohol.

[39-29-36]

That the act of sex is a legal and binding contractual agreement between two people?

Did you also know that no one can enter into a legally binding contract is they are legally intoxicated, or "shit faced" as it were?

Therefore, by the definition of legal terminology, you have violated the consensuality of the BDSM relationship by engaging in the activity in which you practiced. Also, by a loose definition of legal terminology, you have comitted rape.

That is why my ONLY response to this question will ever be "Don't do it."

Sorry to interrupt. and get somewhat off the beaten path of this established thread but . . .

Assuming we are speaking of Anglo-American jurisprudence, at common law, the only contract which involves sex is -marriage. Among other property rights, marriage is legally sanctioned sex. Hence, adultery was a crime until it was pretty much abrogated statutorily in most jurisdictions you may come across. However, it is still pervasive as a civil action -that's not to civil if you ever witness it. I know there's statutorily sanctioned prostitution, and so on . . . But, statutory law is not a good point of reference outside of anywhere other than the place wherein it applies. You'll always get variations of the common law and an ocassional fluke, so to speak.

Second, I don't believe there is a settled definition for legally intoxicated. A common misconception is that DWI-DUI law applies outside of driving, etc.. Under DWI-DUI law there is measure for being considered impaired, which varies from state to state, here in the US. But, I have never heard of a bright-line legal definition for intoxicated outside of that realm. However, as for contracts, that a person has to be well beyond DWI drunk to void a contract. Evidently, the law deems volition, judgement and intelligence to be more of a stalwart under the assault of intoxicants than driving dexterity.

As for the law on non-consenual relations, which is what we're getting at, the law deals with it both criminally and civilly, along the lines of the lines of accost, assault, battery, gross sexual imposition, rape, mayhem, etc. . . on and on (let your imagination roam) depending upon the particular facts. But, breach of contract? Normally, I would consider that a stretch.

Lastly, in the context of this thread, non-consensual anything is wrong. If someone does not possess the capacity to consent.

So if one ever had to be held accountable for such a reprehensible act, breach of contract, would be the least of one's legal worries . . . .

Personal safety is another matter entirely. . . .

As a wise man once said. "Don't do it."

[LBoolean]

apart from what has already been said about this subject *hic*, its rather *hic* difficult to make a serious *hic* impression on a subby when you have the *hic* hickups...
I suppose having one to loosten up is ok, but one should always considder that sometimes drinking does tend to loosten the connection between your extremities & brain.. meaning how on earth can you aim a cane if you can't walk straight?