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slaveangel{HM}
10-30-2006, 12:07 AM
My heart chained, constricted
Floating as if a spectre of the night
Soulless and pensive
Lost in a sea of people
Craving to be heard
Screaming without sound
Until exhausted and breathless
Waiting for my spark to ignite
Dampened by the dew
The terrible cold casting fog
On an opaque window
Brushing my fingers lightly
Against the window
Seeing the future
Through delicate streaks

30th Oct, 2006.

*wrote this one a few minutes ago, I suppose in my current state of mind.

~A

mina
10-30-2006, 12:09 AM
Oh I love the imagery, very nice!

TheDeSade
10-30-2006, 01:49 AM
The images are vivid and rather dark. At first I was a little put off by the way the scansion sat but after I read it a second time, I found that I was indeed forced to adopt a rythmn that sounded as if I were out of breath. I don't know if it is intentional, but it is effective.

violetgem
11-09-2006, 12:12 AM
wow lots of emotion!!

moptop
11-10-2006, 09:01 AM
Actually I found it had a slow, rolling rythm rather like waves - beating stronger and then receding... emotions building up and fading back... dying away at the end in pathos... sad and lovely.