Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly?? [Archive]

Neopadinski

11-01-2003, 05:43 PM

I will say, without underlying meaning (i.e. what I say is what I mean) that there are quite a few girls on the internet, real and not animated, that are unattractive. Note that I say "quite a few"-not implying a domination of unattractive to attractive females-which simply means that they are, unarguably, not attractive. That much is for certain. However, there are in quite a few places that one can find good-looking females.

As for why the unattractive females are on the internet-sure, it might be because they can't get attention from the people around them, and therefore turn to a website. I doubt that all people agree with that concept-it could be because they are interested in BDSM, want to share it with the world, but are unattractive. The motives of these people are, quite simply, none of my business.

Then, there is the concept that one doesn't find very, very beautiful women because they are quite popular and don't have time to be on a website; they are camera shy; they already have a male-friend that is willing to satisfy her BDSM "cravings", if you will. These too, are none of my business.

I frequent Artemis Artone's site quite often, and I think she is great-looking. She is probably very popular-she seems nice enough, from the little tiny bit I've seen of her on the forums; she obviously has a male-friend; and she obviously isn't camera shy. This is an example of a BDSM girl that is attractive online.

Ok, I think I worded the above correctly...I didn't want to be offensive, I simply wanted to add my input. Keep in mind that it's just my opinion :)

Youngsubboston

11-02-2003, 01:18 AM

For starters as people have said "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". If you are as closed minded as you seem whipit then I feel bad for you becuase you are missing out on a lot of beautiful woman on the inside and outside. I myself, no matter how "hot" a girl is, can find her ugly if she a bitch, and no matter how "ugly" a girl is, if she is an aswome girl, I can look in her eyes and see the most beautiful person the whole world. Your for example, no matter what you looked like, I would find you ugly becuase your personality is so ugly and judgemental. You need to learn to care about people for who they are and see beauty in all people becuase there is. Each culture has its own defintion of beauty, and each person have there own defintion of beauty. And if your defintion is so confined by supposedly cultural limits, thats just pathetic, especailly for someone who is into bdsm, I would expect you to be more opened minded. I hope you try and take this post to heart becuase I think it will make people around you happier. Not to mention it will probally make you much more happy. I don't know what else to say to you.

Lord Douche

11-02-2003, 03:39 AM

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
I told you to keep your ass of this site and for this exact reason. If you're just going to be insulting and if you're not going to offer anything positive to this site, stay the hell of it.

The webmaster here, will be contacting your ISP Monday to report your continued abuse of our forums. Good bye.
I'm guessing here that Manwhore aka Whipit has a Static IP? I can only imagine the face of the technician who reads that particular e-mail. *chuckles*

Dari

11-02-2003, 08:13 AM

I wanted to apologize for my impolite reply up on the page and once more try to phrase out what I think about this topic.

As far as I have noticed there are two kinds of woman who are depicted on the net - porn stars and real women, same as with the men. Just think about how many people really look like models - far too few to ever provide that many pictures. I find it quite enticing that there are so many real women who find the courage to display there bodies for the whole world to see although they know that their bodies are not perfect. I wouldn't be so brave, although I don't consider myself belonging to that "fat and quite unattractive" group of women, and I find it kind of exhilarating that someone proposes that women who are not thin as a reed or looking like a beautyqueen have to resort to such measures as to participate in sexual activities they might even loathe just to get a guy's attention. On the contrary, I guess that women who are in for BDSM might have it in them to openly stand to their needs and have no problems with all the world seeing them, apart from some nice looking girls who are far too modest and uneasy with their own sexuality to even consider posing in front of a camera.

GaryWilcox

11-02-2003, 09:23 AM

Bad Dari! No taco! <g>

Okay: there *are* cultural norms of beauty. And a vast number of the women posing for these pictures do not have slim abs and hips, large breasts, and Breck girl hair.

I still think that the quality of a photographer's work has much to do with whether or not the subject is 'beautiful'. The choice of shooting a woman raised five feet off the ground in a suspension harness from eye level means you get a lot of fat dangling and the camers sees it. Binding the body means that ropes pull around the frame of the body, and everything suffers. The subject's posture is enormously important, and without an experienced model or photographer, what you get is unflattering.

If you got head shots of the women in the photos oon the Favorite Phots thread over in General Talk, about 80% wouild pass muster for even the harshest critics. Allow them to be photographed by an experienced photographer with Playboy credits on his resume, and you lose what... another 20%?

Amatuer photographers, bad lighting, and poor choice of camera position are a large part of what decides if the subject's beauty can be found.

Cheer up, Manwhore-- plenty of nude Lara Croft pictures in the sea.

:: assbite Nombre tres ::

Mobius

11-02-2003, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by RubbrSpatula
Bad Dari! No taco! <g>
:: assbite Nombre tres ::
This is totaly off topic but I dont like the topic.
So RubbrSpatula you changed your avatar from the Taco bell dog to the big brother eyes. Then why are you still talking like the taco bell dog?

Just wondering amlisly

GaryWilcox

11-02-2003, 10:23 AM

I'm starting to publish work, so I need to move away from chihuahua so that I'm identifiable by my work, I guess.

But I still feel the need to be the dog, now and then.

Neopadinski

11-02-2003, 01:41 PM

Oh yeah, that's right...I knew your avatar wasn't always the eyes, but I couldn't for the life of me think of what your previous avatar was.

Sorry Mobius, but I have one thing left to say about the topic.

Youngsubboston said something before about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I agree with that-in terms of people I know in real life. With women on the internet, you don't really get to know their personalities, and most of the time all you know about them is what they look like-therefore, I'm a bit shallow, because I really only like the women that are attractive. But like I said, I won't NOT like someone just because they aren't good-looking; hell, when I first met my girlfriend I didn't find her attractive at all, but as I got to know her personality, I began to appreciate her physical appearance as well.
But back to the subject of online women, when I'm looking for someone tied up, I look for the best looking ones. This is because I'm not really into the dom/sub kind of thing, my interests lie in kidnapping scenarios where the woman is taken to be a sex toy and nothing more (in fantasy, mind you).

Hm. There I go again...yeah, I should comment that I'm real opinion-oriented, and if given the chance, I could go on and on about a topic. But I also agree that my opinion may not be right, and therefore I try not to make it sound like it is. So yeah. Just wanted to clarify because the last thing I want to do is insult someone.

Mobius

11-02-2003, 01:54 PM

Originally posted by Neopadinski
Youngsubboston said something before about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I agree with that-in terms of people I know in real life. With women on the internet, you don't really get to know their personalities, and most of the time all you know about them is what they look like-therefore, I'm a bit shallow, because I really only like the women that are attractive. But like I said, I won't NOT like someone just because they aren't good-looking; hell, when I first met my girlfriend I didn't find her attractive at all, but as I got to know her personality, I began to appreciate her physical appearance as well.
But back to the subject of online women, when I'm looking for someone tied up, I look for the best looking ones. This is because I'm not really into the dom/sub kind of thing, my interests lie in kidnapping scenarios where the woman is taken to be a sex toy and nothing more (in fantasy, mind you).

Hm. There I go again...yeah, I should comment that I'm real opinion-oriented, and if given the chance, I could go on and on about a topic. But I also agree that my opinion may not be right, and therefore I try not to make it sound like it is. So yeah. Just wanted to clarify because the last thing I want to do is insult someone.
How do you know the online Women are women at all.

They could be 43 year old plumbers Named Tina or kittenfem with 5 o'clock shadows there but crack hanging out talking sweat nothings to you in the dark. Or worse some over eager police man trying to sting you with a sex crime. Mister Kidnaper guy.

Being online is nice one can find acceptance here with out the risk of a personnel rejection.

But here I go getting off topic oh what was the topic again

Why are women in bdsm photos fat and ugly?
What a stupid ignorant thing to say.
Look no one is perfect and the ones that are perfect are to bussy trying to stay perfect to be into bdsm. SO cut them some slack pick up a whip and play nice.
you think she actuly plays at BDSM in her off time dont think so it is only a way to get the big bucks

Neopadinski

11-02-2003, 03:53 PM

We're talking about TALKING to girls? I apologize. I should've specified that I was referring to just pictures on websites. As for "girls" in chat rooms-unless I have met this person in real life, and they themselves gave me that screen name, I never take their word on what they look like-even if they supply a seemingly legitimate photograph(s). Hell, I used to cyber with my girlfriend on nights we didn't bother to see each other-and she's the only one I've ever done it with. That's because I don't like the idea of the sweaty plumber named Tina.
As for pictures, I like them because you can use your imagination in regards to how the girl got into the situation she's currently in.

PS-I might add, if asked to meet someone in person, it would never be for the agreement of sexual activity, for the reason Mobius said-it could be a police officer posing as a little twelve year old girl that's posing as an eighteen year old girl. Hey, it could happen.

burger_01

11-04-2003, 02:42 AM

I can't believe this thread exists

mutt

11-04-2003, 03:32 PM

does it matter anyway?? BDSM is for the mind and spirit physical beauty is in the eye of the individual

Neopadinski

11-04-2003, 06:38 PM

Hehe, I guess in my long, mindless rants I failed to being up that point. Go me!

pam

11-12-2003, 11:33 AM

What constitutes "fat"? I've seen men say that women who are 20 lbs overweight are cows? I have customers (and I don't deal in the BBW fetish area) who tell me 300 lb women aren't fat to them.

Ugly? What is ugly? I don't consider myself attractive but not many women would if they had to compare themselves to the Jennifer Lopez' or Britney Spears' of the world.

Having said that, I've known a lot of dominant men in my life (known doesn't mean intimately, could mean via correspondence!) and many choose bigger women. A lot of bigger women have self-esteem problems (raises hand) but many don't. Some men just prefer more meat on the bones.

I recently talked with a so-called dominant male who told me he liked women over 250 lbs as he really enjoyed watching their bodies jiggle.

I see no problem with that

:)

MrJerseyGuy

11-12-2003, 05:22 PM

I don't know what ManWhore is basing the observation on...but I gotta tell ya,

My sub and love of my life is 5'3" 100 pounds and gorgeous with one of those bright white smiles that most people have to pay big bucks for. She is the one who got me into the "lifestyle" You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time she asked me to tie her up and beat her stupid!

I don't know what the "norm" is...but they are certainly not all fat and ugly!

Curtis

11-12-2003, 05:45 PM

*sigh* Okay, one more time...

ManWhore is basing his observation on whatever he feels will stir up the biggest fuss. He almost certainly doesn't believe what he writes, he just knows what pushes peoples' buttons. So, he kicks the ant hill and laughs his ass off watching us all scurry about.

Count_DUQ

11-18-2003, 01:49 AM

I personally love a woman what ever her size or shape... I enjoy the fun I can have and being big just means (in some cases) she is harder to damage. As sometimes I love to instill that little reminder for the next day. Tell me if I you think Im wrong but big is ok with me and more fun.

fetish101

11-30-2003, 02:05 AM

This community is a minority. Why is it a minority, because it is not mainstream. Something should be taken from those two statements....

Mainstream beauty is basically the annorexic, or damn near it, girls that sell magazines. Why is there so many of them in mainstream literature/publications? Because you have a bigger sample population to draw from!!

Come on people, if 90 percent of people are "vanilla", and 90 percent of people think the incredibly skinny girl is the epitome of sexy, then that's what you're gonna see in mainstream publications.

My argument is that yes, perhaps you do see more pics on the internet (other that mainstream sites like hogtied.com) with girls that have a "little bit more to offer", but really, is this anything more than you should reasonable expect?

I think that because bdsm deals with a minority it will inherently have less "magazine perfect" girls to draw from to take pictures of.

If this bothers you terriblly, well then there are people out there that will, for the right price, take the pictures you want with the type of models you want, provided it's not something too fucked up like snuff or something similar (yeah I know there are people out there who will even take those pics..but let's not get into that kinda crap).

anyways, this is just my opinion, others should give theirs, and I'm interested what other people think on this subject.

woodsman'sgame

11-30-2003, 09:14 AM

Ok not sure where to post this, but I guess this is as good a place as any.

I was reading a story last night that was written fairly well. I was enjoying it, but I got to a line that set my teeth on edge it infuriated me so much. I quit reading the story. The line was talking about an older woman who was 5 feet 8 inches and mentioned how she had never lost the weight she had gained from her pregnancy. The woman weighed 140 pounds and the reader was given the impression that she was overweight!
A woman who measures 5 feet 8 inches and weighs 140 pounds is not overweight!!!!! GEEZ! In my book and Woodsman's, she is probably too thin.

Just what is fat? What do Americans consider fat? I don't understand it.

This perverted (in my opinion) notion of beauty is why my daughter starves herself and is self conscious about her weight, even though she is beautiful and much too thin as far as I am concerned. She walks down the street and 95% of the males turn to look at her in awe (I have observed this), yet she thinks she is too heavy. Damn it!

OK That's my rant. I'm still angry.

BDSM_Tourguide

11-30-2003, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by woodsman'sgame
A woman who measures 5 feet 8 inches and weighs 140 pounds is not overweight!!!!! GEEZ! In my book and Woodsman's, she is probably too thin.

Someone must have been reading a health chart. 140# is the "ideal weight" for a woman of 5'8" tall.

A woman of that height and weight isn't going to be rail thin or anything, but she's still going to be thin. It's when they're 5'10" and 120# that they get to be ridiculously skinny.

Finding_Fantasy

11-30-2003, 12:19 PM

Well, I am 5'8" and I used to be 160lbs. and I thought I looked pretty good. You couldn't see any bones sticking outbut I didn't have rolls either. Of course that was back when most of the jobs I had were physical ones.

Anorexia sacres the hell out of me. I had a friend that was anorexic. When she died, she was about 70lbs. Every possible place of her body was covered in cancer, her ahir was brittle and her skin (shudders) And you know how she started?

She was a daddy's girl. She adired her father and would do anything to remain perfect in her eyes. One day, they were walking down the street and they saw a mother and daughter.. The daughter was obese. He said "No daughter of mine will ever be fat." It was shortly there after that she stopped eating. Now anorexia is a disease but it was triggered by her father's comment and her desire to remain perfect for him.

Frankly, I find it disgusting. I remember when I was in school it was disgusting to be considered skinny. My brother desperatly wanted to gain weight because he was so skinny. Unfortunately his was genetic and no matter how much he ate he stayed skinny.

I took the liberty of scanning a cartoon clipping I got from our paper nearly a year ago. I think it is pretty on topic. It is two little girls looking at some overlyskinny models/maniquins.

Dari

12-02-2003, 03:08 PM

IRT finding fantasy:

I really like that cartoon
just makes me unhappy to be already grown up :p

redEva

12-14-2003, 09:12 AM

Statistics… yeah – such a bendable science!

The fact IS that North America has the highest obesity rate. The fact IS that most people (in and out of this lifestyle) have issues to deal with. The FACT is that beauty is in the eye of beholder!

Our little community here is diverse and I am proud to say mostly tolerant! If you don’t like it here – there is plenty of other sites to go to. “porn sites where the girls have respectable bodies” are just that! Porn sites with models. Would I like to look like Opearl, Dita or Ashley – you can bet your private parts I would. Unfortunately not everyone is made to look like that.

BDSM is about Power exchange in loving and trusting relationship. So IF we work some of our demons out there – why is that wrong?

BDSM_Tourguide

12-14-2003, 12:04 PM

2. There will be NO negative personal comments about ANY of the pictures posted here. The first time I read something like: "Look how fat she is" or "Oh my god! They let that out of the cage?!" then you're gone. No explanations, no excuses, you and all your posts will be deleted. These are real people making some real steps and some hard decisions to go out on a limb and post material that is close to home for them. Anyone threatening the sanctity of that trust and this confidence will be damned in my eyes and could suffer no worse fate than to burn in the inequity of lesser sites and cheap masturbatory hell. In other words, if you fuck with the people courageous enough to post in this thread, I will fuck with you!

Nice of you to drop by, Incubus. Sorry you can't stay.

P.S. Whipit. Stop trying to get in here. Go find some other people to irritate.

Finding_Fantasy

12-14-2003, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by redEva
This tread should have been closed long time ago IMHO – Moderator!???

*winks at Eva* Well you're a moderator, why don't you do it. Just kidding.

In all seriousness, this thread was started by Manwhore who was our "dear friend" Whipit. The post you made a reply to was also our friend Whipit. It doesn't matter what you say to him, he is just out to irritate the living hell out of us. Which is why that the post he made was deleted. (Not by me mind you)

Despite this thread inflammaroty nature, I think the reson it has not been shut down was ecause there were some good posts/arguements/discussions despite what it was origanally meant for.

Just my 2 cents worth.

redEva

12-14-2003, 01:18 PM

*grinning* heehee *rubs hands together* POWER muwahahahaha

yeah – I see what you saying – but I did say closed – not deleted *wink*

anyhow – good to see him/it gone. Lets go to something better :)

and BTW thank you moderators and Jinn i solemnly swear not to abuse the power invested in me!

*turns around and squints eyes on whom to kick!*

Tree

12-20-2003, 11:27 AM

Being fat and ugly? - It's probably just due to getting older. When I was in my twenties I was 47kg (about 8 stone). Now I'm in my forties, I'm 107kg (about 17 stone). I'm 5' 3". In general, at least in developed countries like Australia and the States, people get fatter and uglier as they grow older, especially women.

Would I like to be slim and beautiful again? Sure, and it's not impossible - there are plenty of 40 and 50 year olds who look great. Do I want it enough to do anything about it? No. How do I know this? Because, if I did, I would be 8 stone, not 17 stone.

The thing is with people like you, whoreman, you're only interested in how people look, which to me makes you superficial and empty. Not someone I want to know. Most overweight women probably realise the advantages. Being "fat and ugly" weeds out anyone other than guys who are genuine people, who are prepared to see beyond the flesh to the person inside. And chemistry doesn't have eyes. Take a look around you. There are any number of squat ugly men with slim beautiful model like female partners, and even more gorgeous looking guys with wives/girlfriends who look the size of the back of a bus.

You can idealise about a model like woman all you like, and if you find one who wants to be with you, and is committed to the same empty ideals as you are, good luck to both of you. But my guess is you're going to miss out on a whole lot of potentially great, kinky, relationships, just because you automatically exclude the majority of the population (at least in Oz and the States).

BDSM_Tourguide

12-20-2003, 12:26 PM

Originally posted by burger_01
I can't believe this thread exists

It was a member that asked for the thread to be closed in the first place, so please try to retain a modicum of objectivity here.

And, as for the reason the post was removed. It was because he violated a rule posted in another thread. A thread directly referenced by the removed post. Aside from that, the member in questions has been banned from the site now in four or five different handles and his internet provider has been contacted regarding his abuse. So, if that's the person or type of person you wish to defend here, I doubt you will get along with the people here very well at all.

And the reason this thread is still here is because it managed to spark some actual, interesting, on-topic discussion that didn't degenerate into flaming and bickering about differences of opinions. So, despite the requests of the members to have the thread closed and/or removed and despite the reported posts from within the thread itself, the thread stilll exists.

Now, talk to me about censorship.

Tree

12-20-2003, 12:50 PM

Well, from where I am sitting, you seem to have a thing about this particular 'would be participant, if only you'ld let him' on the forum. And as for flaming, seems to me your response is pretty tart and intolerant. I'm not defending anyone. I just liked the topic. Some healthy discussion, even if people disagree, - what's wrong with that?

Moggy

12-20-2003, 01:05 PM

Healthy discussion is good, and there's plenty of it here. BDSM, Iraq etc. Lots of difference viewpoints coexist here.

However, sometimes there are posts that are only intended to disrupt and annoy others, while others are downright rude or bordering on insane. I'm happy to see them deleted ASAP, so that real adult (in all senses!) conversation can continue.

Welcome to the forum, Tree.

Tree

12-20-2003, 01:26 PM

Hi Moggy and thanks for the welcome.

Who is to say what is insulting to one person would be insulting to another? If some of the responses are deleted before we get a chance to read them, we'll never know, will we!? I can understand someone wanting to censor a knitting site, but this one...??? I would have thought BDSM should pretty much be anything goes. Clearly not - I stand corrected!

Finding_Fantasy

12-20-2003, 02:30 PM

Originally posted by Tree
I would have thought BDSM should pretty much be anything goes. Clearly not - I stand corrected!

Hi Tree. First off, welcome to the site.

Second, the poster that started this thread, Manwhore was banned because he has signed up on many different handles. Why was he banned time and time again? Because everytime he came her posted something rude, inflammatory, and of no use except to cause trouble. He would out right insult people and cause trouble. He was not intersted in chatting or making contribustions but just to see how many peole he could piss off.

Also, I do not know if you have read it yet, but there is a Code of Conduct that must be followed by all members. You can read it by clicking Here (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=895) There is a set of guidelines on which to follow for this site to keep it running smoothly. We tolerate disucssion about pretty much anything but as my mother used to say "It's not what you say it's how you say it."

And you're right censorship is not always a good thing and we did not censor this one. Why? Because like I said in a previous post, there were some good honest discussion to come out of this thread so it has been kept open. However, if you could have seen some of manshore's previous posts (also known more commonly as Whipit) you would understand.

So please, take a look at the CoC and see that we are very tolerant here but there are some things that just are not acceptable. Just because we are lovers of BDSM does not mean that we should allow rudeness and those who are just out to hurt feelings and fire up our tempers.

Neopadinski

12-20-2003, 10:32 PM

The way I see it, this thread has not been deleted/removed not because of its starter, but because it triggered such a deep and provocative discussion. Had a flame war erupted and failed to cease within a timely manner, I would assume that the thread would've been removed. Also, the topic shifted from this "manwhore" to a discussion on what is considered "fat" or "beautiful"; rather than focusing on material that is offensive, it turned into a simple exchange of opinions.

MrJerseyGuy

12-22-2003, 07:44 AM

I've been silently following the thread with some interest. For my part, I'm 45 and work very hard to stay in good shape. I have to admit that I am attracted to very slim women. My current sub (and love of my life) is 30 and 5'2. She's lucky if she ways 100 pounds soaking wet. I don't think that makes me "shallow", although I suppose some would disagree. That's just what turns me on...

HOWEVER...I have always found it amusing that virtually all men are so critical of a woman's appearance and body when 90% of the ones who are being critical seem to be overweight themselves. I work in a bar part time and constantly hear groups of men commenting on different women that walk into the place. They all sit there in a row with their beer bellies, five o'clock shadow and a big order of cheese fries in front of them, yet they talk about women as if they themselves were Brad Pitt. C'mon there guys, let he who is without fat cast the first stone!

sm4hg

12-24-2003, 07:01 AM

Well, I finally have to tell my opinion as well.
From my own experience I can only tell, that there is no such thing as a preference for me. My partners were both overweight and slim, but they ALWAYS were beautiful. For the time being I prefere small tits, in former times I preferred larger ones. So I'm not even able to tell you what "beauty" means to me. Of course there are poeple out there which make me turn my head. But I always find it amusing how different they look. I still haven't found out what it is that makes me look twice. But it's definitely not waht is called the "perfect" look. Most of the times it's right that, that makes me look away.

Tree

12-24-2003, 11:15 AM

Good on you, Mr JerseyGuy, for staying in shape. Personally, I can't be bothered. Much like your beer bellied customers at the bar, I expect. There probably isn't the same incentive for men to stay in shape as there is for women. Looks are probably irrelevant to the kinds of things women value, like kindness, competence, being clean, not being a jerk, not being moody, being independent, not needing to be mothered/babysat.

In my experience of guys though, for all they make a big deal about how women look, they are just so easy to pick up and hook. When chemistry strikes a lot of guys seem to lose their sight. That's the irony of how this thread started, that manwhore was looking at online, and presumably getting aroused by, the very same (fat and ugly) women that he was deriding.

Tree

12-24-2003, 11:16 AM

The other thing about women and men is that they probably get "fat and ugly", if indeed they go this way, over a long period of time. By that time, they are probably in a fairly good relationship and the history and bond,(not to mention the effort they have made to work on their sexual preferences together), far outweigh what either of them look like 10 or 20 years on.

Aaah, I see a great future for the fat and ugly, of either sex, as poster pin ups on the web.

pandemonium

12-24-2003, 10:09 PM

Ok, this may be the wine talking but,

for fucks sake.......who's business is it anyway? If you ain't doing 'em, why care? Really?

If I'm not sleeping with you, I don't give a damn what you think of my looks.

I spent 12 years working in strip clubs. It takes all freakin' kinds. And there is always, always someone who is standing around talkin' about what is wrong with you. Your never good enough, never tall enough, never what is considered "perfect" to one or many and the drop dead bombshell to 50,000 others.
That is just the way life goes. So trying to match some ideal perfect vision in someone elses head is flippin' ludicrous. NEWSFLASH-
SAME DAMN PROBLEM IN THE VANILLA WORLD. :rolleyes:

Alex Anderson

01-16-2004, 12:37 AM

Originally posted by Manwhore
Have you ever noticed that many girls into BDSM are fat and quite unattractive???

I beleive many of these women succumb to BDSM as a result of not being able to get any "normal" sex from guys and thus are forced to do BDSM to get attention

Aha. I for one, AGREE. Im sorry, the BDSM life we see here is sort of like a flaking, a crust to the UGLIER side, where fat women crush men in sex and.. oh god *faints*

BDSM_Tourguide

01-16-2004, 01:53 AM

Originally posted by Alex Anderson
Aha. I for one, AGREE. Im sorry, the BDSM life we see here is sort of like a flaking, a crust to the UGLIER side, where fat women crush men in sex and.. oh god *faints*

Well, Alex, as one of those guys with the "ugly, fat woman" I take offense to that statement.

The neat thing is, though, that as one of those guys that's also a moderator of this site, I can make you disappear, along with all your posts.

So, why don't you do yourself, the members here and me all a favor and take you immature, no account, probably only 13 year old ass and get it the fuck off this site. Otherwise, if I see you here, posting anymore of this kind of bonehead shit, I'll take personal pleasure in banning you and making all your little-minded posts disappear.

Bye now. :[

Jones, Nikka

01-16-2004, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by pandemonium
You're never good enough, never tall enough, never what is considered "perfect" to one or many and the drop dead bombshell to 50,000 others. That is just the way life goes. So trying to match some ideal perfect vision in someone elses head is flippin' ludicrous. NEWSFLASH- SAME DAMN PROBLEM IN THE VANILLA WORLD.

So very true. Those who want to heed wise words are paying attention

Originally posted by Alex Anderson
I for one, AGREE. Im sorry, the BDSM life we see here is sort of like a flaking, a crust to the UGLIER side, where fat women crush men in sex and.. oh god *faints*

I just wonder, Alex, what kind of experiences you have had to hold such a view. Maybe you should share that with the rest of the forum.

BDSM_Tourguide

01-16-2004, 02:13 PM

Originally posted by Jones, Nikka
I just wonder, Alex, what kind of experiences you have had to hold such a view. Maybe you should share that with the rest of the forum.

Or maybe he could just not be insulting to the larger women in our membership and not flagrantly violate the Code of Conduct in any of his future posts.

I think that would be better.

Because if he's just going to insult people and make a nuisance of himself, I don't want to even know what his experiences are.

Alex Anderson

01-16-2004, 05:55 PM

Since when were you Adolf Hitler? I am not intending to be as cruel as the topic poster, but i believe in general he is correct. Ban me if you wish.

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
Well, Alex, as one of those guys with the "ugly, fat woman" I take offense to that statement.

The neat thing is, though, that as one of those guys that's also a moderator of this site, I can make you disappear, along with all your posts.

So, why don't you do yourself, the members here and me all a favor and take you immature, no account, probably only 13 year old ass and get it the fuck off this site. Otherwise, if I see you here, posting anymore of this kind of bonehead shit, I'll take personal pleasure in banning you and making all your little-minded posts disappear.

Bye now. :[

Neopadinski

01-16-2004, 06:03 PM

I don't think Tourguide has a problem with your opinion at all, I think me probably just believes you could've worded it better, that's all.

BDSM_Tourguide

01-16-2004, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by Alex Anderson
Since when were you Adolf Hitler? I am not intending to be as cruel as the topic poster, but i believe in general he is correct. Ban me if you wish.

I'm not being a facist dictator, but I am making you aware that there is a Code of Conduct (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=895) here at this site and in it, it asks for people not to be insulting of other members on the forums.

Now, even though people have requested that this obviously vulgar and thoughtless thread be closed, I have allowed it to remain as a topic for discussion because it actually took on a thought-provoking conversational atmosphere. This served two purposes, in my opinion. First, it allowed something usually only discussed delicately to be discussed under and indelicate flag so people were more likely to communicate their views. Second, it thumbed the general nose at the thread creator, who was only looking to stir people up and create turmoil. That works just fine for me.

And, if you feel he is correct, then don't look at the pictures. Keep your negative comments to yourself. I don't want to hear them and neither do the people with the guts enough to post them to this site. In fact, if you bothered to read the Personal Photography thread, you'd see that it comes with its own set of rules. One of which is to not be insulting to the people posting or the people within the photographs taken. The resultant action should have been an immediate ban for you and the removal of all your posts from these forums. Consider yourself lucky for even getting a warning. The guy that started this thread did not.

So, if you want to play nice and share well with others, by all means continue to post threads like your Latex Rot one. If you want to be an asshole and get kicked, then keep posting replies like the one quoted here and the reply previously posted in this thread. There, you now have a polite reminder to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

Sieg heil!

WANDA's_toy

01-18-2004, 07:32 AM

WHY DO I GET THE FEELING ITS GETTING QUITE PERSONELL OUT HERE?

and a Question:

Do the rules of conduct apply for the MODERATORS too?

Curtis

01-18-2004, 11:11 AM

All right, as long as someone else has brought this up...

The last part of this thread, starting with Alex Anderson's first post here, is a sterling example of the problem I have with the Code of Conduct. When I read that post, I laughed and thought that it was witty enough that I 'search'ed for his previous posts to see what I was missing. Tourguide reads the same post, and issues the guy a warning. I actually felt Alex's reply to the warning was much more offensive than his original post was (which still makes me grin: "...a flaking, a crust to the UGLIER side, where fat women crush men in sex and.. oh god *faints*" -- sounds to me like he's jealous!).

Then Tourguide, applying the 'straw man' theory of argumentation as he is wont to do, goes off on this: "And, if you feel he is correct, then don't look at the pictures. Keep your negative comments to yourself. I don't want to hear them and neither do the people with the guts enough to post them to this site. In fact, if you bothered to READ the Personal Photography thread, you'd see that it comes with its own set of rules. One of which is not to be insulting to the people posting or the people within the photographs taken. The resultant action should have been an immediate ban for you..."

This absolutely astounded me. I rushed off to the Personal Photography thread to find out what Alex could have said to bring on such a reaction and found...nothing. Not even a notice of a deleted post. As near as I can tell, unless Tourguide was reacting to something that had been deleted, he invented an insulting remark, put it in Alex's mouth, then castigated him for it. And this is not the first time he's done that. Alex never mentions either photos posted here or the Personal Photography thread in any of his seven posts, and he certainly never insulted either 'the people posting or the people within the photographs taken'.

In Alex's line, "Im sorry, the BDSM life we see here', the word 'here' clearly refers to the quotation immediately preceding, which he went to the trouble of including so that no one could mistake his meaning.

And that's what I don't like about the Code of Conduct. Alex Anderson gets threatened with a ban over something he didn't do, while Mobius insults people left and right (not since Christmas, though -- good for you) and faces no consequences whatsoever. It was suggested by someone I was having an exchange with in a thread in the upper part of the Forum that humor could be a defense against a charge of violating the Code, but it sure didn't work for Alex.

Finding_Fantasy

01-18-2004, 11:19 AM

However, Curtis, I did not find the post humorous myself. To say that women that are in BDSM are fat and ugly implies that I am fat an ugly because am I not a woman involved in BDSM?

Yes, I know that I am larger than what many consider beautiful, but that does not mean that posts such as Alex's do not affect me and my feelings...joke or no joke. I found the post's tone to be mocking and derrogatory and I did not find any humor in it at all... but perhaps you did Curtis since it was not you who was being insulted. People seem to find humor and entertainment in the bruising of other's emotions it seems...which I find very sad.

Jones, Nikka

01-18-2004, 12:16 PM

Originally posted by Alex Anderson
Since when were you Adolf Hitler? I am not intending to be as cruel as the topic poster, but i believe in general he is correct. Ban me if you wish.

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
I'm not being a facist dictator, but I am making you aware that there is a Code of Conduct ...
... There, you now have a polite reminder to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
Sieg heil!

When I first read Alex Anderson's post I found it misinformed, a bit broad and likely to insult some readers. I wondered why he posted such comment and even asked about it. Yet, is it surprising that he lashed back like that after BDSM_Tourguide reacted the way he did?

And most important, where is this thread going if the Supermoderator uses "Sieg Heil!" as a signature for a "polite reminder". I am sure both will say that the allusions to Nazy dictatorship were made with irony or sarcasm but even that is insulting to some, if not most readers

Peace!

BruceBoxer

01-18-2004, 12:28 PM

Originally posted by Jones, Nikka

And most important, where is this thread going if the Supermoderator uses "Sieg Heil!" as a signature for a "polite reminder". I am sure both will say that the allusions to Nazy dictatorship were made with irony or sarcasm but even that is insulting to some, if not most readers

Peace!

It's alright TG, I'm not insulted--know where you're coming from; however, I keep having to look back top to see what the heck this thread is about (short little span of attention). If you are worried about offending some by signing off with [I]Sieg Heil[I] when you're accused of being a Nazi, perhaps you can use one of my personal favorites, "Bite me."

BDSM_Tourguide

01-18-2004, 01:11 PM

... I will just say that I found no humour whatsoever in Alex's post. I found it offensive.

Wt: It's not personal. I just don't like people carrying on by being openly insulting on these forums. Yes, perhaps my "no account" comment was out of line and I should retract it. However, that is all I will feel unjust about posting. In my opinion, making fun or being insulting to someone because of their weight is immature.

Curtis: The "here" comment to which you refer, I took to mean here, as in, in the BDSM Library Forums. If that's the case, then I take heavy exception to the statement made. My wife is overweight, but she's surely not "fat and ugly" by any stretch of the imagination. If people can't see beyond the skin, then I don't want to read their opinions.

Nikka: The last time I checked, I was not a baby-killing, genocidal fascist with world domination fantasies. So, yes, I took a lot of offense at being called one. I have never locked a child, elderly person, Jew, Slav, Gypsy, infirm, mentally handicapped or deformed person in an oven and burned them to death. I'm sure you might be offended if you were accused of that, too, as calling someone Hitler would imply. So, yes, my remark was sarcastic and justifiably so, given the context by which I was insulted. Why would you want to defend someone that accuses others of being genocidal, megalomaniacal sociopaths?

Bruce: You're right. I probably should have just said "Bite me." Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

Now, if anyone has to say on the subject of weight, personality and how they relate to BDSM, then please continue.

woodsman'sgame

01-19-2004, 07:21 PM

OK I usually keep quiet and stay out of these conflicts because I am supposed to be submissive after all, but this time I am saying something.

Alex's post was insulting and TG's original response was extreme in its language. There is a need for restraint on both sides.

Alex, have you ever thought that some things are better left unsaid, for they do nobody any good and hurt some people.
You tried to dissipate what you said with humor, but it was still insulting.
It also hurt you indirectly. You will find few people here or elsewhere that would be sympathetic to you and agree with your insulting others. This is not a good way to start a relationship with the others here on the forum.

Tourguide, you did your job as moderator, but the language you used in your original response was insulting and offensive and not in keeping with your role.

Tourguide stated:
" So, why don't you do yourself, the members here and me all a favor and take you immature, no account, probably only 13 year old ass and get it the fuck off this site. Otherwise, if I see you here, posting anymore of this kind of bonehead shit, I'll take personal pleasure in banning you and making all your little-minded posts disappear."

Moderation please Moderator.

fetish101

01-20-2004, 01:11 AM

It would appear to me that although Whippit (or whatever his name was) was banned for it, if his true goal was to create turmoil and conflict...he succeeded

Neopadinski

01-20-2004, 01:37 PM

I wouldn't consider it turmoil...I thought of it as more "heated debate". Either way, he caused a mass discussion on the topic.

WANDA's_toy

01-20-2004, 05:51 PM

Originally posted by Neopadinski
I wouldn't consider it turmoil...I thought of it as more "heated debate". Either way, he caused a mass discussion on the topic.
B]I don't see NO discussion ON THE (original) SUBJECT!
Instead I see a fight about WHAT is one allowed to say freely.[/[/B]

C'mon people: You are all into hurting people or getting hurt or dominate someone or submit to someone or humiliate someone or get humiliated by someone...

And you expect that when talking about it this won't occur???

You've gotta be kidding!

For some people it might even be a thrill to play edgy... Who said words can't be edgy?
They sting as bad as any cat'o'nine or single tale, anytime when used probably!

Now this Forum is Cyberspace, right? How can you truly expect those word-man (or women!) not to whip with words? They'll do it, at least once in a while - and its okay... this is the BDSM-LIBRARY-FORUM, forgot???

Now when someone gets hurt, stand up and say so. Any grown up individual will give you sorrow and shelter, and help you overcome your pain and pick you up again. Just like you'd do in a session where something went wrong. (That never happened to YOU? GIVE ME A BREAK, BIG FELLA, LADY WOW!)

So what is wrong asking a question like the original one???

One could raise so many questions:

Supposedly statistics say that people who are drawn into BDSM as adults have been abused as Childs to an above average rate than adults from any other groups not enjoying BDSM as adults.

Now must asking such questions as a thread-starter like "Why is it that people who have been abused in their childhood are drawn into BDSM Lifestyle as adults? automatically drive the community and the moderators into a "You'll be banned if you insult people... hey I know someone who might be insulted by that statement/question ... I'm insulted by that question, take it back!"-mode?

Why not openly discuss the subject, maybe there is something to it for us to reveal!

Talking about the subject and a question that has no definite answer yet, might make us all smarter because while talking we may just come up with an answer!

Fighting about a question of conduct is not getting anybody anywhere!

Stating "and it is still spinning" pissed half of the human race off (all Vatican ruled Christians at least) and therefore was definitely insulting to all who were living their quiet life back in those days. But it was still true and both was very likely: that you'd insult the people as well as the mighty of those days and consequently ended up being tortured by the Spanish Inquisition.
But it was well worth the result: ALL did benefit from the answers that were brought up just because somebody raised that question!

Lets not call each other names but -damn!- allow to raise questions and let the community discuss things that are of interest to them! (Which is most likely the case if someone starts a thread raising such question).

Cutting subjects like this off (just because someone might or is offended) makes the BDSM community no better than those who still call us perverts!

Remember what we tend to tell people who call our activities pervers and sick and all?
Yes, we tell 'em to mind their own business, to look away!
So if there is a thread about something that someone out there just might take as an insult... tell that someone to stay away from that particular thread, look into other threads that are more like it for that someone. There are examples of threads where this works just fine (e.g. the thread on scat - people who feel offended don't read, don't post there)

So, let's not call each other names, let's not fight about codes of conducts (hey, this ain't the Ed Sullivan Show!) lets talk about the subjects instead!

Glad to get comments.

By the way, what was the question? ;)

Wt

Curtis

01-20-2004, 06:51 PM

The original question was, "Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly??"

If you're serious about wanting an answer to that, I'd have to side with pandemonium. In America, at least, most BDSM girls are fat and ugly because most humans are fat and ugly and all BDSM girls are human.

I really think that this issue is about played out. The thread was started to cause trouble, and Whipit/Manwhore must be laughing his ass off.

BDSM_Tourguide

01-20-2004, 08:35 PM

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
I don't see NO discussion ON THE (original) SUBJECT!
Instead I see a fight about WHAT is one allowed to say freely.

Where do you see a fight about what what one is allowed to say freely?

And before you answer that, head over to the General Talk section and read the updated Code of Conduct.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
C'mon people: You are all into hurting people or getting hurt or dominate someone or submit to someone or humiliate someone or get humiliated by someone...

And you expect that when talking about it this won't occur???

You've gotta be kidding!

No. I 'm not kidding. I don't want to see people get insulted on these forums. There's a firm difference between humiliation and degradation. Just like there's a difference between BDSM and abuse.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
For some people it might even be a thrill to play edgy... Who said words can't be edgy?
They sting as bad as any cat'o'nine or single tale, anytime when used probably!

You're right, they can. However, it's how you use your words that indicates the effect they will have. Calling someone fat and ugly or stupid or a big ugly cow is NOT humiliation. It's degradation, pure and simple and that, my friend, is verbal abuse

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Now this Forum is Cyberspace, right? How can you truly expect those word-man (or women!) not to whip with words? They'll do it, at least once in a while - and its okay... this is the BDSM-LIBRARY-FORUM, forgot???

So? What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Are you trying to say that just because we're online that we don't deserve to be treated and respected like 'normal' people do?

Or are you trying to say that, just because we are members of a BDSM community that we should just expect to be treated like shit and accept it?

Please clarify that statement for me, so I can understand better and not go with my first instinct on this, which is to get really offended.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Now when someone gets hurt, stand up and say so. Any grown up individual will give you sorrow and shelter, and help you overcome your pain and pick you up again. Just like you'd do in a session where something went wrong. (That never happened to YOU? GIVE ME A BREAK, BIG FELLA, LADY WOW!)

So what is wrong asking a question like the original one???

What's wrong with it? Well, first off, it's insulting. Secondly, it violates the Code of Conduct. Thirdly, it refers to the members here in a derrogatory sense and insinuates that the women here are not beautiful, each in their own way. There's a big difference between asking why women in BDSM are all fat and ugly and asking why some women in BDSM are overweight or may not take care of themselves. The devil is in the details.

It's not the question that's the issue, it's how the question was raised in the first place. Had it been asked in a manner which was not outright insulting and degrading, then it probably would have been fine for discussion. As it is, it works okay, although a lot of people are put off by the title of the thread.

Try this at home: Walk up to your mistress, look her right in the eye and ask her why she's a fat, ugly sow and see how she reacts. That should give you some indication of what was wrong with the original question. (Not that I'm saying she is, I'm just using this as a hypothetical example.)

Besides, as has been stated before, the person that started this thread has shown up in several different nicknames and always started trouble. He's been banned. It doesn't matter what his name is. His nickname wasn't banned, the person was. There is a difference, contrary to what you might believe.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
One could raise so many questions:

Supposedly statistics say that people who are drawn into BDSM as adults have been abused as Childs to an above average rate than adults from any other groups not enjoying BDSM as adults.

Statistically speaking, it is true. Many women in the BDSM lifestyle are abused ealier in life. Whether that is the 'cause' of their interest in BDSM or simply just something that shaped their lives is a topic for another discussion

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Now must asking such questions as a thread-starter like "Why is it that people who have been abused in their childhood are drawn into BDSM Lifestyle as adults? automatically drive the community and the moderators into a "You'll be banned if you insult people... hey I know someone who might be insulted by that statement/question ... I'm insulted by that question, take it back!"-mode?

It doesn't, because that would genuinely interest people as a topic for discussion. In fact, I think I will start that thread when I am done here.

As for being insulting, the CoC is pretty clear on that.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Why not openly discuss the subject, maybe there is something to it for us to reveal!

Talking about the subject and a question that has no definite answer yet, might make us all smarter because while talking we may just come up with an answer!

I agree. Let's openly discuss the topic. That's why this thread, and others, are here. So, the subject matter can be discussed.

There's nothing at all wrong with discussion. There's plenty wrong with outright abuse.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Fighting about a question of conduct is not getting anybody anywhere!

Who's fighting about questions of conduct?

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Lets not call each other names but -damn!- allow to raise questions and let the community discuss things that are of interest to them! (Which is most likely the case if someone starts a thread raising such question).

Cutting subjects like this off (just because someone might or is offended) makes the BDSM community no better than those who still call us perverts!

What are you talking about? You did happen to notice that this thread was still in existence, right? it has not been closed or deleted or molested in any way. So, where are you getting these ridiculous and unfounded claims from?

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
Remember what we tend to tell people who call our activities pervers and sick and all?
Yes, we tell 'em to mind their own business, to look away!
So if there is a thread about something that someone out there just might take as an insult... tell that someone to stay away from that particular thread, look into other threads that are more like it for that someone. There are examples of threads where this works just fine (e.g. the thread on scat - people who feel offended don't read, don't post there)

Again... What???

I don't want people to look away from me like I'm some Elephant Man, just because I'm a practicing member of the BDSM lifestyle. Quite the opposite, I want people lookng me right in the eye. I want people asking me questions. I want people understanding that what I do is not abuse, it's not degrading to women and it's not only poracticed by rapists and psychos like people see on cop shows.

At least it's not degrading to women until we, as the staff of this website, allow people to walk in here and start degrading the women of this site. As long as I am here and moderating, it's not going to happen.

And no, I'm not going to tell someone to stay away from a thread that's openly insulting. I'm going to follow the CoC and give the person being insulting a warning and tell him to tone it down. Why? Because there's a huge difference between not finding the topic of conversation to your liking and the topic of conversation being abusive and insulting. Sure, if you don't like the scat thread, don't read it, but if you're a woman and you don't want to be called fat and uguly, then tell a moderator so the person writing the thread can be talked to.

Originally posted by WANDA's_toy
So, let's not call each other names, let's not fight about codes of conducts (hey, this ain't the Ed Sullivan Show!) lets talk about the subjects instead!

Glad to get comments.

That's exactly what we've been trying to do.

BDSM_Tourguide

01-20-2004, 08:38 PM

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
So, why don't you do yourself, the members here and me all a favor and take you immature, no account, probably only 13 year old ass and get it the fuck off this site. Otherwise, if I see you here, posting anymore of this kind of bonehead shit, I'll take personal pleasure in banning you and making all your little-minded posts disappear.

I'd like to openly apologize for having made this statement. It was wrong of me and it was a violation of my own Code of Conduct.

In the future, I will attempt to make my posts a little more level-headed. I'm sure I made this post after only getting three hours sleep. Not that it's an excuse, but my patience might not have been what it should have been.

Curtis

01-20-2004, 10:07 PM

Apology accepted.

Now if we could just get alex anderson to apologize for comparing you to Hitler....

WANDA's_toy

01-21-2004, 05:08 AM

Originally posted by Curtis
Apology accepted.

Now if we could just get alex anderson to apologize for comparing you to Hitler....

Agree with you on this one, Curtis!

Just feel sorry the thread has been drifting off the subject. I thought it was something to talk about. Plus: I didn't feel it was in particular about the photos in the personal/favorite picture threads nor reduced to pictures on the net.
I felt it meant a wider range. So the answer you gave

If you're serious about wanting an answer to that, I'd have to side with pandemonium. In America, at least, most BDSM girls are fat and ugly because most humans are fat and ugly and all BDSM girls are human.
made me smile... ;)
But who knows, there might be something else to it, yet. That's why I thought ending (what I called) the fight and getting back to the general subject would be useful.

and by the way, I knew what the org question was ;)

Wt

Curtis

01-22-2004, 10:42 PM

In an effort to finally drive a stake through the heart of this topic, I offer the following. It's copyright 2002 by Christina Aguilera and used absolutely and totally without permission, so I have no objection if the moderators delete it.

Beautiful

To all your friends you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness,
The pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone,
Ain't that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, no, no
'Cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down. Oh, no
So don't you bring me down to day

No matter what we do,
No matter what we say,
We're the song inside the tune,
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
The sun will always, always shine
And tomorrow we might awake on the other side

leo9

03-12-2004, 01:07 PM

Originally posted by BDSM_Tourguide
What are you talking about? You did happen to notice that this thread was still in existence, right? it has not been closed or deleted or molested in any way.

Oh yes... my favourite piece of online silliness, people who post to say "This forum is censored, nobody is allowed to say anything the moderators don't like, they silence anyone who disagrees with them!" How's that again?

mmmmmmm

04-07-2004, 05:34 AM

Finding_Fantasy

04-09-2004, 06:36 PM

I realize this thread is dead, but I've just got to say one thing after reading through this thread ...

Finding Fantasy: As a new person to this site, as I've been making my way through the forums in here, what I've observed of you in here, you truly seem to be a beautiful person.

Thank you very much for the compliment mmmmmmm (I think that I have the right number of m's in there LOL). The compliment is very much appreciated. :D

Sorry it took me so long to reply, the daily grind of life has kept me busy. :) (no perverted comments from the peanut gallery LOL)

petpleasureyes

04-10-2004, 07:41 AM

you are very funny. Ha, ha! People are born with the way they look, there's pretty much nothing they can do about it. On the same token, they're also born with the feelings inside them and have to live with their desires. i'm sure many of the people out there who propose that they're either Dom, sub or slave are fakes, but many aren't and they have very little control over their looks. Yes, a person who's overweight can change this by exercise and eating right, but this takes time and effort. i am a male slave and i've been told many times that i'm very good looking. Even so, i've had much trouble finding a Mistress to continue my training as a slave, not because of my looks, but because of the training i'm looking for. i had the luck of having my previous Mistress train me to fuck animals. i've been told many times that it's such a waste that i've been trained the way i have because of my looks. i actually think it was my looks that prompted my former Mistress to do this too me. i underwent this training over a period of 10 year only being allowed to fuck animals during this time. Now, for me, it's hard to see myself as anything else but an animal fucker. Luckily, i think i've finally found that special Mistress to continue training me and am going to visit with Her this May. If things work out, i'll be moving to be Her slave permanently in July or August. But anyway, looks aren't as important as attitude.

Shaditu

04-30-2004, 03:22 PM

Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly??

Some of them are fat and ugly! :o

redEva

04-30-2004, 05:46 PM

Some of them are fat and ugly! :o

and your point is ... ?

petpleasureyes

04-30-2004, 06:07 PM

So what's the point?

Hey RedEva, like your new pic.

Shaditu

05-01-2004, 03:43 PM

and your point is ... ?

nothing, i don't understand where is the problem! :confused: :)

bella

05-19-2004, 01:08 PM

I would just like to say that manwhore, your comment is incredibly immature and small-minded.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and while granted, I am not a size 4, I don't feel that I am ugly either.

A picture, so that you may decide for yourself.

and by the way, if you are judging people by the way they look and not their worth as a person, then you are probably one of the ugliest people on the planet.

'nuff said.http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=2262&stc=1

Neopadinski

05-19-2004, 05:34 PM

Just so you know, Manwhore has been banned. Repeatedly. And I don't think he's going to be allowed on the internet ever again by anyone.

bella

05-19-2004, 07:48 PM

i certainly hope not! What an asshole!!! :)

D. Atrocity

05-24-2004, 05:36 PM

And I'm not going to fan this flame anymore than I feel I should. I just have a few points to make for you to consider.

And bigger women aren't always ugly. I know plenty of women with HOT love lives and husbands that worship the ground they walk on that aren't exactly super model material. It's really more in the features of the face to me that counts, for example, and the look deep in the person's eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul and some people can see that.

for my last point, if I've learned anything in this life, it's that you can't stereotype anyone in any group. Just because some bdsm girls are fat and/or ugly (and some will be, there isn't a weight limit for the site, thank heaven,) doesn't mean they all are.

myri_SN

05-27-2004, 12:48 AM

Have you ever noticed that many girls into BDSM are fat and quite unattractive???

I beleive many of these women succumb to BDSM as a result of not being able to get any "normal" sex from guys and thus are forced to do BDSM to get attention

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :mad: just to say i dt'tn think i am unattractive, in fact quite a lot of people say i am very attractive, but am not thin. and my size has nothing at all to do with bdsm. it's just the way i feel not the way i look. and it would be very sad if you choose your sexual orientation or however you would cathegorise bdsm as a result of body size. and i think in general a lot of people aren't super models, if into bdsm or not.
P.S. the profile pic is me in case you think i would hide behind the pic i used as avatar.

Imegnixs_Cinder

05-27-2004, 01:17 AM

ok before anyone shoots me, please read my whole post here.
I have noticed that many subs and Dom/mes alike in BDSM are overweight.
However I have a theory on this.
BDSM is not based upon looks, in the nilla world people tend to see someone who is good looking and instantly chase after them, it is looks that first attract. Whereas in BDSM the emphasis is far more upon the mental capability of that person, i.e. how much they give as a sub or how strong they are as a Dom/me. In BDSM we tend to talk much much more and get to the know the person underneath the looks, this is ESP true o/l we talk, subs open up and reveal who they really are, their deepest fears and desires are laid out before the Dom/me and in the nilla world we just don't see that as much if at all.
I belive that people are drawn to BDSM as its meant to be a non judgmental lifestyle, so overweight people can be themselves and know that the Dom/me / sub isn't looking at what they look like, but they are looking at who they are inside.
And in case anyone is curious, yes I too am overweight, but I was underweight when I first discovered BDSM.

csr

05-28-2004, 04:00 PM

You may have something there. On Sat I was at a craft fair that was exclusively for BDSMers and was thinking about how the atmosphere in the room was so friendly and accepting, even to total strangers--especially since it was an open event and not a munch or a play party at all.

Another thing... that IMHO goes along with this, is that people in the scene tend to be comfortable with their appearance--and I think that makes them even more attractive. You walk into a room like that and see what could be considered large-sized women dressed in sexy, revealing tops and sporting a beautiful smile to match.

My partner and I are both considered "acceptable" weight for our height, but I definitely look underweight--and have always been a little conscious of my skinny arms. I would _definitely_ say that we were in the minority in that room, but once again--it is an accepting crowd, who would no more stare at us than expect that kind of behaviour in return.

THAT, right there...is beauty.

BTW: this thread may have been started by a moron, and looked a little like bickering from time to time, but I read the whole thing and appreciated how much it made me think... about many, many issues. Thank you all.

badspyro

06-14-2004, 04:47 PM

Some are, I admit, dut there's always going to be some that arn't quite to your likeing, so why don't you look at the ones you do like? For all you know, many people may like bigger girls to the twigs that we normaly get... maybe a bit of meat once in a while is not a bad thing, plus it may make you apreciate the ones that you like more (although I doubt it :D ).
Badspyro

Kalluss

06-14-2004, 06:30 PM

I was looking at some vintage porn (Hey, it was for a project) the other night and thought of this thread while I was observing some of the women who were considered beautiful in the 60's and 70's.

The women who were posing then were curvy, beautiful women. They were long before the heroine chic that glamourized the 'tit's on a stick' look that is what the fashion industry is telling people what is glamorous today.

As an experiment, I'd be interested to purchase a garment made today in a size 11, and then purchase one from a vintage store from that era in the same size and compare.

I work with a lot of women who considered pretty back then. They're in their 50's-60's now and are still attractive. I wonder how the women of today who are starving themselves to fit into that size whatever are going to look in the long run.

Just kind of rambling here. It's funny how your mind works after being up for 36 hours.

zig

06-14-2004, 10:17 PM

As an experiment, I'd be interested to purchase a garment made today in a size 11, and then purchase one from a vintage store from that era in the same size and compare.

I work with a lot of women who considered pretty back then. They're in their 50's-60's now and are still attractive. I wonder how the women of today who are starving themselves to fit into that size whatever are going to look in the long run.

I normally wear a size 6 american in Women's clothes, size 5 or 7 in juniors. I have a pair of vintage cords from the 1970's, labeled size 9, and they are slightly too small for me at the moment. Sizes have definitely changed seriously. I would imagine the difference gets larger the farther back you go, until you hit the era before store-bought clothes were common.

tehya

06-14-2004, 10:53 PM

I have humbly decided to respond to this thread, not the originator of it.

This is an issue that has been so much a part of my entire life... my weight! God how I can remember my mother putting me on diets as a very young girl. So from as far back as that, someone has always tried to mold me to their idea of what my body should look like.

This continued through to my adult life and has plagued me, even somewhat to this day. I have always tried to maintain a body weight that just seems unnatural for me. And let me just say that big people do not necessarily eat gross amounts of food. I don't, but I am a big woman.

I must say though, that since being introduced to BDSM and my Master, i have begun a transformation. Actually beginning to understand more about myself and my appearance. I'm big, but I am not ugly. My partner finds me attractive and well proportioned, and has never once asked me to lose weight. He would support me if I felt I needed to make a change to better myself, but that is it!

Some day I hope to get to the point that I can look in the mirror and be totally pleased and content in who I am. I'm working on it... But I have to tell you, it helps so much to see everyday people showing off everyday bodys... how sexy, erotic and honest is that!!!! I admire each and every one of you for it!

Master's tehya

jaeangel

06-15-2004, 11:15 AM

Number one:
Who is to say what is fat and what is not? It's in the eye of the beholder, a phrase which has been repeatedly used on this topic thread and yet has been ignored by those who refuse to find the meaning in the spirit of the phrase. If fat is defined as being a specific number of pounds overweight according to some stupid medical chart some overeducated doctor has thought up, then I am fat too. I am 5' and 130 lbs. And I'm okay with that. Yes, I look at Jennifer Lopez and Brittany Spears and Lucy Liu on TV and wish I could look like that; but in the end, that's not who I am, and even if I were to change the outside I'd still be the same person inside. And that person on the inside is what matters. I have to look at myself every day in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back at me. Therefore, I'll do what I have to in order to be happy.
Another thing to think about; there are sites on which pregnant women are in bondage too. Do they count also as fat, Alex, Whipit/Manwhore, and anyone else that has something to say about the way a woman looks or doesn't look? Most men seem to have a 'thing' for pregnant women (I was working as a cellular sales rep in a mall kiosk through the last trimester of my first pregnancy, and I was getting propositioned by an incredible number of men. Even AFTER they saw my wedding ring! Girls, we've all heard it said that men have a thing for pregnant women; I'll tell you something, being pregnant, petite, and Asian all at the same time was like holding a T-bone steak in front of a starving man! Fat can be beautiful, too. Don't let anyone tell you you're fat and ugly. As long as YOU can look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I'm beautiful' then you are beautiful. Regardless of how the outside looks.
Men: If you haven't seen the movie 'Shallow Hal', then I suggest you go and rent it, and watch it with an open mind. It stars Gwyneth Paltrow...and I forgot who the guy was. The lesson inherent in the movie is that no matter what the girl looks like on the outside, what's inside matters most. Do us 'ugly/fat/unattractive' girls a favor, and watch it. It's a wakeup call.
Number two:
The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America say that all persons are free to say what they wish, however they wish. However, the morals and societical norms of the time the Constitution was written vary greatly from the societical expectations of today. Things we say now could be construed as insults back then, and could actually cause duels to the death! Therefore, I call out Whipit/Manwhore. I demand that he present his sword and defend his opinion with his arm. And I warn you, I'm very good with a sword! I've had years of Tai Chi sword training!;)
All right, levity aside, what I'm trying to get at is that, while we are technically free to say whatever we wish, some opinions need to be CAREFULLY thought out before the words are allowed to fall. Freedom of speech also requires some common sense when one is speaking. If you don't think before you speak, you could get in a lot of hot water (the which you already know.) Temper your words with common sense. Nowadays, duels are fought with guns, rather than swords, and there are no steps counted/first blood rules. Piss off the wrong person and that person might come back and shoot you while you're sitting in the bathroom jacking off to Brittany Spears's picture!
Okay, that last was a little crude, and I apologize. But even the Supreme Court realizes that words should be processed with the brain before being allowed to leave the mouth. Why else do you think that Ku Klux Klan manifestos are suppressed and banned, and BDSM magazines, drawings, etc. are still sold? Because the one involves common sense and thought, as well as consent; the former involves uninformed racist views that do nothing but hurt people. If you go up to a Klansman and ask where the nearest good taco place is, I'll bet he'll be able to give you directions. Ask him whether he prefers wonton soup or hot and sour, he'd probably have an answer to that too.
Anyway, this is long winded enough. Please remember: Temper your words with wisdom, and respect the people around you (even online!). Remember, what you do will come back on you threefold. I hope that someday when the above-named offenders are old and gray and hobbling down the sidewalk, some young punk says 'what an ugly old man'. Then you'll know what it feels like to be judged.
Judge not, lest ye also be judged.

agp_millie

06-17-2004, 01:41 AM

Dear Manwhore,
Apart from the usual cliche that 'beauty is in eyes of be-hold'er' and 'Looks are only skin deep', both true to a degree, usually when you are refering to someone who is plain and facial/body features don't comeup to YOUR idea of sexual, sensual, 'perfection'.
Guys are frequently 'ugly' whether Doms. or subs. but it's the overall sexual oooze that really counts. An ugly Man can be (is usually) FAR more sexy than the Brad Pitt look-a-likes. Personally, apart from his eyes, he doesn't appeal to me, but my big, ol' teddybear Hubby turns me on, even when making his Lunch box. In fact, yes, that too.

The following pics. are all beautiful, one is my real mom, in the silly event that guys voted, i'm sure the most beautiful of the 3 pics.

leo9

06-17-2004, 04:47 AM

I was looking at some vintage porn (Hey, it was for a project) the other night and thought of this thread while I was observing some of the women who were considered beautiful in the 60's and 70's.

The women who were posing then were curvy, beautiful women. They were long before the heroine chic that glamourized the 'tit's on a stick' look that is what the fashion industry is telling people what is glamorous today.

It's been pointed out that judging by her measurements, which were very much on record, Marylin Monroe would never get so much as a bit part in today's media unless they wanted someone to play "the fat girl".

She never had to worry about the size of her butt. When she and Jane Russell were asked to put their footprints in the pavement outside Grauman's, she suggested that it would be more appropriate (since they already had prints of Jimmy Durante's nose and one of Betty Grable's legs) if Jane pushed her boobs into the cement and she sat in it.

Kallie Thomas

06-17-2004, 09:07 AM

It's been pointed out that judging by her measurements, which were very much on record, Marylin Monroe would never get so much as a bit part in today's media unless they wanted someone to play "the fat girl".

Oh, yeah--I remember a few years back, Elizabeth Hurley was at some exhibit where Marylin Monroe's size 12 dress was on display. Hurley exclaimed, "Oh my God, if I were that fat, I'd kill myself!"

Says it all.

Kallie

MrJerseyGuy

06-17-2004, 11:55 AM

Its probably moot since the originator of this thread is long gone. I've been following it since it started and find the continuing contributions interesting. I had a previous post myself from over a year ago. I just read a recent one which brought up a good point. I don't think anything relating to the bdsm scene is different from the vanilla world. Not with regards to looks/weight. Personally I prefer the titless anorexic crackwhore look (without the actual crack). But that's just my personal preference and what turns me on. To each his own. Can't we all just get along!

tehya

06-20-2004, 06:57 PM

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

Master's tehya

slavelucy

06-20-2004, 08:06 PM

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

That's a beautiful pic tehya...and i luuurve those chains! :D

Thanks for sharing it.

sl

tehya

06-20-2004, 11:39 PM

That's a beautiful pic tehya...and i luuurve those chains! :D

Thanks for sharing it.

sl

Thank you luce! This picture and the one of the nipple device in the Nipple Training thread are the very first ones I have ever shared. Was a little nervous about it, but wanted to join the ranks of the brave and the beautiful... LOL - But honestly, my Master makes me feel as though I am the most beautiful of all women... and isn't THAT what it is all about... Being all we can for ourselves and our Masters. *smiles*

Hugs to you luce...

Master's tehya

Shaditu

06-23-2004, 03:10 AM

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

Master's tehya

yes, she is sexy!
:)

Master_chris

06-23-2004, 08:11 AM

mmm nice bum, with a great body to boot

Dslave

06-25-2004, 07:27 AM

I don't know where you are looking but in real life I have met girls of ALL types into BDSM. For instance, if you are looking at Vogue and thinking that most women are a size 0 and that is a reflection of what is a reality in our society you are going to be sadly mistaken because most girls aren't gorgeous or a size 0. And, I think, you are sadly mistaken here. Have you ever gone to a BDSM or PE club? I think you would be pleasantly surprized that many of the women there are NOT fat and ugly. That would be like saying all Doms are fat old guys... yes some are... especially over the internet... but if you go out into the "real world" you will find that BDSMers come in ALL shapes and sizes.

Canopus

06-28-2004, 05:40 PM

One of the great difficulties we have in the modern world is body image, and what a good looking body should be.

tehya by modern standards is a larger woman. But, to look at her body measurements she is very close to the proportions of Marylin Monroe, who lets rememeber was a size 16. And to this day, some forty years after her death is considered one of the sexiest women ever captured on film.

Doms and subs only have to remember one thing. Attitude is eveything. The ugliest Dom with the right presence can make the prettiest sub in the world orgasm on the spot.

The least attractive sub in the world can make their Dom's life complete, with just a little smile, or the clouded look of total lust that covers their face. :)

CCBlonde

07-04-2004, 10:10 PM

Have you ever noticed that many girls into BDSM are fat and quite unattractive???

I beleive many of these women succumb to BDSM as a result of not being able to get any "normal" sex from guys and thus are forced to do BDSM to get attention
Quick answer: they are not. Look at the pix at this site. Also, before you cap on us, please post a pix of your toned, broad-shouldered, six-pak-ab self.

myri_SN

07-05-2004, 02:51 AM

Quick answer: they are not. Look at the pix at this site. Also, before you cap on us, please post a pix of your toned, broad-shouldered, six-pak-ab self.
applaudssssssssssssssss :D

GaryWilcox

07-05-2004, 05:11 AM

The offending poster bears a strong resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman.

myri_SN

07-05-2004, 05:18 AM

The offending poster bears a strong resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman.
no clue who that is :confused:

SirW

07-05-2004, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by GaryWilcox
The offending poster bears a strong resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman.

no clue who that is :confused:
Whoa kitten!!!!
You are showing your age, or maybe Gary did with that remark. Alfred E. Neuman was and still is I guess, the name and face behind MAD magazine. Actually if you look at him closely and then President Bush (George W) you can see they were from the same test tube. Just kididng :rolleyes:

SirW

SirW

07-05-2004, 06:04 AM

no clue who (Alfred E. Nueman) is :confused:
kitten,

Check out this url (http://www.who2.com/alfredeneuman.html) for a thumb nail on Alfred E. Nueman. Or go on google. Lots there.
I was looking for a picture of him and found this below. I think it is the classic way to picture Alfred E. Neuman.

SirW

SirW

07-05-2004, 06:57 AM

Back on topic. :)

I found a great article in the SandMUtopian Guardian (#36) about "Body Size and BDSM". Unfortunately the article is not available on line, but you can purchase the back issue for only $6. The URL is: http://www.aswgt.com/html/sandmutopian_guardian.html

I have excerpted a few lines from the piece that really struck home for me. I would recommend getting a copy and reading all of it. Also I have included the author's sources for his article below.

"Body Size and BDSM", Michael P. Marks, Ph.D.

"Michael Foucault, the late French Philosopher, wrote extensively on the role the human body has played in social and political development in the West over several thousand years”. Foucault’s thesis is that the body is a site where society plays out struggles over power… In his work on human sexuality Foucault argued “that sexuality is not something that people are born with, but constitutes a construct by which society names certain identities and practices as ‘normal’, and then proscribes behaviors that have been deemed illegitimate. Specifically, sexuality is constructed as embodying heterosexual intercourse, with auto-eroticism and homosexuality as uniquely prohibited practices”.
This was later picked up by Judith Butler, who wrote “the homosexual identities, as well as behaviors, are explicitly outlawed by the language that society uses to describe what is considered as the appropriate human condition”. “For Foucault, the body is where society invests itself; the way the body is named, medically treated, punished, and sexualized is a political act. For Butler, society ‘inscribes’ itself on the body through language.” Foucault suggested that the traditional regime of sexuality, which normalizes heterosexual acts and makes all other behaviors deviant, be replaced with a shifting repertoire of what he called ‘bodily pleasures’. While he did not specify this range of activities, Foucault’s followers have suggested that they include things such as gay sex, fisting, and sadomasochism.
The author Marks “believes that BDSM, seen in this light, is by its very nature, an act of political resistance. In doing so people who engage in BDSM activities shift the focus away from bodily objectification, which includes the denigration of people who do not adhere to accepted standards of body size, and re-ploy the language of sexuality against out oppressors”. Seen in this light, “BDSMers have an obligation inherent to resist the normalizing effects of objectification inherent in the dominant regime of sexuality that governs our bodies. Bigotries of any type have no place in our (the BDSM) community. While discussions of body size should be entertained, arbitrary prejudices against obesity are self-defeating because they sustain the oppressive discourse which not only marginalizes people of non-standard body size, but everyone who does not adhere to accepted and sanctioned sexual practices”.
“Instead, a commitment to the bodily pleasures inherent in BDSM permits us to escape the dominant culture’s emphasis on institutionalized normality, and embrace an alternate discourse which has the potential for sexual liberation”.

Butler, J (1993). Gender trouble: Feminism and subversion of identity. (New Your, Routledge).
__(1993). Bodies that matter: On the discursive limits of sex. (New York: Pantheon books).
Foucault, M. (1978). The history of sexuality: Volume I: An introduction. (New York: Pantheon Books).
__ (1980). Power/Knowledge: Selected interviews and other writings, 1972-1977. ed. C. Gordon. (New York: Pantheon Books.
__ (1995). Discipline and punish: The birth of the prison. Translated by A. Sheridan (New York: Vintage Books).

myri_SN

07-05-2004, 07:10 AM

or maybe i am not american :p

GaryWilcox

07-05-2004, 10:08 AM

no clue who that is :confused:
Sorry 'bout that! I thought the whole world knew that goofy kid. Now you have a visual-- thanks to SirW.

player

07-17-2004, 03:49 AM

GaryWilcox

07-17-2004, 06:41 AM

Think it might be a good time to look up IP's. Oh, and incidentally... here's Alfred E. Neuman, for easy viewing, myri_SN.

Tiger

07-17-2004, 07:19 AM

Player, you are out of line, so you are out of the forums.

Pandora's Box

07-17-2004, 09:51 AM

Its amazing how defensive people have become because of this thread. Any dim wit can see that the majority of women that are into BDSM are fat or over weight. Its is purely a fact and matter of observation....to think other wise is to deny the truth.

How many seriously attractive women with good bodies are into BDSM?????
Well the answer is not many. The reason is that the attractive women are capable of enjoying a normal sex life because they get attention from the opposite sex.

Fat and unattractive women do not get attention and as a result have to resort to other "avenues" to get the same attention ie - BDSM.

I'm sure I'll have people shoot me down for saying this.............but before you start typing.......think about it............it does make a lot of sense

I know he's gone... and I've studiously avoided this topic until now... but I feel I must address something. Especially as one of those women that have seen both ends of the weight spectrum scale.

My weight really is not attached to any of my proclivities. In "vanilla" affairs and relationships, only one man has given me an orgasm during sex. I've had fantasies and "leanings" long before I was ever aware of weight.

It just amazes me how many people equate thin with success in relationships/life. Hell I bought into that claptrap for years. Made me miserable when I was thin and made me miserable when I was fat.

That attitude is so amazingly unhealthy for our emotional selves it is unreal. Nor is it easy to combat as long as idiots such as this fellow are around. It's hard enough to deal with the personal challenges of facing the BDSM music without adding in some trumped up notion of another "flaw".

Overweight has nothing to do with BDSM. Being overweight can cause emotional issues which may in turn make a person feel like less than they are. And yes some of those women might seek out BDSM. But dollars to donuts, these women felt the bdsm stirrings long before they ever knew anything about the social pressures of being fat.

I honestly can't say if I know if there are more overweight women than skinny in the bdsm scene. However if there are, it might very well be because the women that are overweight have been flouting "convention" and societal standards for so long, it may have given them additional personal strength to go after BDSM. Once you've thumbed your nose at what society says on such a personal matter, it gets easier and easier to do it with other personal matters.

If there is any one thing that has bearing to my interest in BDSM it would be the emotional abandonment by my father. But then if you were to ask me, I would also contribute my heavier weights over the years to that too.

I get very tired of people like this. People that think in 2 dimensional terms. He might just as well have said that all dominants are insecure control freaks who never got hugged by their mothers.

BDSM is complicated enough. It's not like we need to add in stereotyping and high school psychology because someone can't wrap their mind around human complexity.

"Deny the truth" .... Grrrrr.... Pardon me, but he's an ass.

*Steps off soapbox*

:D

mmmmmmm

07-17-2004, 10:59 AM

I'm curious if Player has any BDSM experience at all. Seems like he has no clue what BDSM is all about (the allure, how erotic it can be, the benefits) if he thinks the only reason a woman would be interested in it is because she can't get any attention "the normal way." Really seems like he has no idea what he's talking about ... or he'd "know." :)

jaeangel

07-17-2004, 01:28 PM

How many seriously attractive women with good bodies are into BDSM????? Well the answer is not many. The reason is that the attractive women are capable of enjoying a normal sex life because they get attention from the opposite sex.

Fat and unattractive women do not get attention and as a result have to resort to other "avenues" to get the same attention ie - BDSM.

Uh...excuse me. Because you're fat doesn't mean you're not attractive. A lot of the girls whove responded to this thread look perfectly allright to me. I consider myself fat, but I alsoconsider myself attractive...and if you, or anyone else, want to dispute that, send me an email and I'll send you a pic of me.
When I was pregnant I went from 97lbs before to 151lbs by the time I delivered. I worked the whole nine months, as a cellular sales rep for a local company. I got more propositions from male clients (and female clients) during my last three months than I did before I got pregnant. And now, two years and another child later, my weight's settled to 130 lbs (for a 4' 11 1/2" frame, it's a lot) and I'm still getting propositioned by guys and girls in the supermarket and in the local adult shop (for some reason, they don't see the gold band on my finger.) So kindly keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.
Also, have you thought that someone has to be extremely comfortable with themselves before they can be comfortable with someone else in a D/s relationship? Those fat girls are usually happy with themselves, or they'd be in anorexia clinics trying to make themselves look like Calista Flockhart. Those that are comfortable with themselves are the ones who are the most fun to be around; would you be comfortable if you took your girlfriend out to a restaurant and she did nothing but gripe through the whole meal about how thin (or fat) she is, and would you be happy say, going to Outback Steakhouse and diving into a 20oz steak while she picked at a spinach salad with lo-cal dressing? Or would you prefer to take out a girl who talked about a variety of subjects, could laugh at her own neuroses, and ate a nice balanced meal that didn't make you look like a pig?
Think about that before you go talking to us girls about looking like porkers. And I'll bet you got some cellulite around the belly, too. Maybe the but and thighs too. Remember, 'let he who is without guilt cast the first stone..." If you don't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger and have zero percent body fat, don't talk.

Kelli

07-17-2004, 03:22 PM

I've read this thread a few times, and still stunes me people are continuing to post, especially those like Player. Why are people so stuck on how they look? Weight actually has little to do with how healthy you are (unless you are tremendously over/under weight). You can be 50 pounds over weight and still have a healthier heart than someone in their weight range. If you are happy about how you look, screw those who have to result to comments such as those above and by manwhore. If they are only looking at how people look on the outside, they are the ones who will be screwed in the end. By the way girls, I just got a book, Jamima J, recommended by a good friend, and it kinda fits into this thread. Weight issues vs. finding a mate and such. People like manwhore and player give men bad reps. If they are dishing out comments like that, they are not happy with themselves, or too cocky and bigheaded. Just my two cents, take it for what it's worth. From a girl who is considered overweight (5'10", 200lbs) be happy with who you are. If you want to make a change, do it for you, not for anyone else. I would rather indulge in a pasta dinner, with a side salad, slice of cheesecake for dessert, then sprouts and a veggie burger. Enjoy the life you have, don't spend it counting calories and eating cardboard.

Barton

07-17-2004, 03:47 PM

Yes ban the little twerp.

tehya

07-17-2004, 05:43 PM

My first reaction to player's (great name for a nobody) post was pure anger... then I realized, that was probably his goal in the first place.

Then after I read all the beautiful posts from the intelligent, caring, and insightful people we have here on the forums, his opinion meant less and less! I have placed my needs into the hands of very egotistical people just like him all my life until this past year or so! Always trying to measure up to others ideals of what a real woman should look like...

Well I can tell you what a real woman should look like.... herself! I am drop dead gorgeous, curvacious, hot, sexy, spunky, cute, and oh so damn sweet... and it only took me 42 years to learn that! This is how I will forever more look at myself... and I have Canopus to thank, for helping me realize that. (He likens me to a Marilyn Monroe figure, how great is that!!!!)

So to any out there that thinks they need to look like what someone else thinks they should, i am here to tell you..... You are beautiful!!!!!

Master's tehya

Driveslikeagirl

07-20-2004, 06:12 PM

I was interested in BDSM when I was thin. I don't think one's core sexuality changes as their appearance changes. If so, then it would stand to reason that all of the women in American society would turn more and more to each other for comfort as they age, while their just-as-rapidly aging male partners turn to younger and younger women. (Not ALL men act that way of course, but I'm just using that as an example).

Two years ago, after a breakup, I rapidly gained a lot of weight. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I gained the weight as a subconscious means of avoiding being hurt by a man again. "If no man wants me, then no man can hurt me." Blah blah.

I have learned a lot with my new extra 70 pounds. A FEW people at my workplace treat me as if I'm less intelligent, less professional, and less worthy of respect. I can't help but wonder how bankrupt of virtue these husks of humanity are, and how they can stand themselves. I mean, someone has to have absolutely NOTHING going for them if: 1) they NEED to feel superior to others, and 2) the only way they can do that is to weigh less than someone. Pathetic!

That's not to say that I hold it against anyone for not being attracted to me now that I'm not thin. Physical appearance does count. Some people are attracted to people of different skin tones, hair color, height, whatever. You can't rewrite your instincts of who you are physically attracted to, just to be more "politically correct". But there is never an excuse for thinking you are superior to someone just based on how you look. You can be courteous and human to someone without having to sleep with them!

At the end of the day, here is what I think: If being thin attracts people like "Player", then I'd rather be fat for life!

b9dom

08-20-2004, 02:41 AM

Fat and ugly? Who are you to say that fat is a liability in a woman's attractiveness? For many men - Doms (including myself) and others - large proportions are a distinct asset. The term "ugly" is so objective it's unreal - and it means that those who use that word are blind to the inner beauty of soul and spirit which lies inside so many who don't fit into the fashion-model 'norm' of beauty.
I will not trade insults, but I would gently suggest that you get real.

Mnemonic

12-16-2004, 07:43 PM

Ok I haven't posted allot on this forum yet but i've just signed up for a week and I've been thinking about this now so here goes my 2 cents, I dont want to offend people its just my opinion.

First of all appearance does count, i'm 20 years old and I work as quite a succesfull model so I know the importance of looks in our society, therefore I could never have sex with a woman wich im unattracted to. I am a perfectionist wich doesnt always works for me. However there are allot of girls that have the attractive looks but still are ugly ass hell, this is because of the inside of the woman, her personality, wich is reflected on her outside in the way she shines/looks/walks/drinks/laughs etc. (dont know the English word for this).

I'm gonna take this into more of a biological level. Appearance is a way for a woman to tell a man her genes are good. That is why we "the Western World" like thin peope and people in South Africa like fat woman (or men works the other way around as well). This is because in africa having fat shows that u can take care of urself and in the Westen countries it shows the opposite. This is a known and scientific fact wich has been studied. Woman also get more of an ) ( shape when they are futile and ready to mate, us men take this up in our unconciousness and find here more attractive at that moment.
And are more likely to have sex or flirt with her at those days. This is also affected by the psycological state of a persons mind. If a person feels not well they tend to reflect that in their clothing and care for their own body, that is why slim people are looked upon as more succesfull people.

I hope that explains why we (generally) like slim people over fat people on a deeper level...

Now why do I think the're allot of girls into bdsm fat?? First of all I think this is quite overstated but its a fact there are a little more fat people into bdsm then into regular sex.
I think the age is to blame, most girls on the net here are way into their fourties, by then woman get a bit fatter because of age, this is normal and happens with all woman. Yes even the "casual sex" type woman.

Here's the real point, I personally am 20 and attractive however I've not engaged into bdsm to this day. I've been interrested and have read websites since i was twelve though. I've done a bit of bondage (like 2 times soft bondage) but its quite a step to take at such a young age, u doubt if ur toughts are normal and stuff so u keep it to the regular sex. When u mature u will be more open to it and it doesnt matter as much anymore if u'r liked by other girls and woman (or men) the way it does on highschool and beyond. Then u want to fullfill what u always wanted, how u wanted to live ur life. But how do u do this, this is something I dont know how to do, how do u tell the girl u love u want to tie her up and dominate her.. and how to get her into it if she's not? Maybe she'll just think u are a weirdo and leave u. By that tiime u probably have a long term relationship u dont want to waste that easily.

I myself have a beautifull girlfriend wich is not into bondage wich I told her I like, I didnt told her I like bdsm cause she freaked out totally just about handcuffs. So im finding a hard time convincing her.

On the net u are sure the person u meet is interrested in bdsm what would he/she do on this boards anyway?? That makes it easier for woman who lost their relationship but want a bdsm 1 to find it online. Its a shame the're only US sites for this though cause iim from the netherlands :(

So here u got it, u'll find mostly woman on the net who are old enough to liuve up to their fantasies and woman who are seeking a man wich is into domination for sure. This also happens at high age because its kinda scary when ur just 18.

Last point, the're allot of sites featuring very beautifull girls into bondage, these are models but i've read somewhere in a thread they do this just for money is this true?? U think they dont like bdsm? Why dont they just do regular sex sites then?? Can somebody please explain??

I hope I clarified my opinion.. I did not mean to offend any1

Gerben de Oude

fetish101

12-18-2004, 12:57 AM

Mnemonic, you have some very good points, and I agree with you that older (sorry everybody, but I'm 20 and 40 years old is kinda old...) people generally do have a much more grounded sense in what their desires are in life. that's not to say that younger people can't have the same type of awareness, but I think it is fair to note that people with more experience in the subject of sexuality would be more equipped to deal with issues such as bdsm. As far as your last point/question about models on American porn sites that appear to be doing it only for the money, I believe that is an accurate observation for the average porn star. However, I would suggest to you that you should check out any of the sites put out there by CyberNet Entertainment LLC (hogtied.com, meninpain.com, whippedass.com, wiredpussy.com, waterbondage.com etc..). I am convinced that the women (and men) that star on those sites are truly into bdsm and the like, and also would be considered main stream attractive (in the slim sense).

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

yellowrose

12-18-2004, 01:31 AM

First off *spanks Fetish for calling her old*

Sorry Fetish I couldn't resist.

Mnemoric is right to a certain extent. Looks do matter. As much as we like to deny this fact it does. As we get older though I believe that our minds do change and what was attractive to us at 20 (or our more reproductive years) and what is attractive to me at 41 is vastly different. While I can appreciate a young mans look I find that I am not attracted to young men. Honestly I have trouble seeing a young man as my equal. Wow that doesn't sound quite right when written down but I assure you it was not meant like it sounds. They just don't have the life experience that older men have.

An advantage of age is that you have been there and done that and now off to explore new areas that many young folks haven't the time or emotional maturity to consider. I am not talking strictly D/s nor is this in any way a insult to the younger folks. Just that priorities and a persons focus changes over time. Young people are doing what they are biologically programmed to do, find a good reproductive partner. Even if reproduction isn't what they are after the mind (or basic instinct) doesn't know or care. The last thing I look for in a man is his reproductive capabilities. Personality, maturity, stability are far more important.

I can only speak for myself. I suspect that men due to their ability to reproduce at any age don't go through as great of a mind shift as females. It would make sense to me that the basic instinct would remain intact to a greater extent in males because of this and therefore looks would matter more to them.

A few old sayings:

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

One mans treasure is another mans junk.

myri_SN

12-18-2004, 04:45 AM

hmm...
I have never been thin, nor am i old, am just about 28, my master is 38 soon.
I was nto sexually exerienced ( I had never even kissed a man in my life before ) when i first heard about BDSM ( well i mean first heard the word ). I always liked the subject when seeing it on tv, and i must admit i always fantasised about it one way or the other.
when i was nearly 25 i found out that bdsm exists, by accident. some guy pm'ed me and started telling me this abduction story, making me the main part, giving me tasks like a list of words to stick into his stories. I thought he was weird but i liked it a lot. he stopped talking to me as back then i refused to call him sir. i found it weird and shy (still am :o ) .
2 months later i was bored and searched the web and came along several bdsm sites. i thought i might just give it a go and look in chat, got myself a new yahoo id so my friends woudln't find out and off i went. from there on it went fast although it was about a year before i first met a dom in r/l to play. I met a few in the next months. the first time i had sex was roughly 2 years ago, less even. the main thing for me was pain and submitting. i refused to have sex.
I met my current master last year in august, very rushed after 2 days in chat ( i know not safe but i did it, i had to ).
i think the main thing that first hooked me to bdsm chat was that i was accepted and i didn't think of myself as weird anymore. although chat was not good enough after a short while hence i tried to meet people and get into r/l. which luckily i managed and i would never ever go back.

the thing that was stated yesterday that most young people in bdsm are thin and older ones are fat is sooooo untrue. i meet a lot of people at munches and clubs and they come in all shapes no matter what the age. i dont think there are any more 'fat' woman in bdsm than there are in nilla life.

oki enuff now...

hides again :o

slavelucy

12-18-2004, 10:19 AM

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

LOL. Yeah. In addition, i'm ashamed to admit, the only idea/sentiment/thought/emotion this thread has ever inspired in me is amusement at the very phrase 'BDSM Girls' as used in the title...for some reason, it really tickles my funny bone...i know not why, there's something so very..*thinks*..primitive and naive about it....that and the fact that it reminds me of the golden girls for kinky folk.

*continues to grin inanely*

i need to get out more.

sl

yellowrose

12-18-2004, 11:41 AM

golden girls for kinky folk.

Can I be Sophia?

Picture this. . .1982 a delicate young woman steps into . . .

Incubus Argenteus

01-14-2005, 12:39 AM

mmmmmmm

01-14-2005, 02:02 AM

I recently read some comments that Angelina Jolie made about her interest in BDSM ... she's really open about loving the intensity of it, how it makes her feel alive.

She was recently named "The Sexiest Woman (?in the world?)" ... she doesn't seem to be into BDSM because she can't "get it" any other way.

leo9

01-14-2005, 02:27 AM

Although this discussion was over nearly a month ago, I wish to add two links to this thread based on studies about beauty.

http://www.gnxp.com/MT2/archives/002687.html

http://www.uni-regensburg.de/Fakultaeten/phil_Fak_II/Psychologie/Psy_II/beautycheck/english/index.htm

I hope no one will take these links in a bad way but more as an eye opener on the influence of our genes and the social influence on what is perceived as attractive.

This thread doesn't seem to be ready to die, probably because it is something so fundamental.

But when I read the first reference, what struck me was that it could just as well be read as proving that people who can only turn on to conventional beauty are reacting like babies! (The more so if they're also hung up on big tits... I appreciate tits as much as the next man, but there's more to sex appeal than cup size.)

As for the computerised "beautiful face", she looks as dull as white sliced bread. A good design for a display dummy or a sex doll, but as a person, I wouldn't give her a second glance; she's got no character. I'm reminded of an experiment in pre-computer days where they tried to create the "perfect face" by photographically merging a dozen film stars, and came up with someone totally average.

In most things in life, we pride ourselves on moving on from the simple tastes we were born with and becoming more imaginative. Why do some people get stuck on infantile standards of good looks?

leo9

01-14-2005, 02:34 AM

I recently read some comments that Angelina Jolie made about her interest in BDSM ... she's really open about loving the intensity of it, how it makes her feel alive.

(pant pant drool)

I missed this (probably because I usually avoid film star inteviews along with sports and reality shows), do you have a link?

ProjectEuropa

01-14-2005, 06:35 AM

[QUOTE=leo9]
I'm reminded of an experiment in pre-computer days where they tried to create the "perfect face" by photographically merging a dozen film stars, and came up with someone totally average.
QUOTE]

There has been lab based psychological studies on this sort of thing and it was found that people on the whole find the average features the most beautiful so a woman (and man I assume) with the most average size features, ie. eyes, nose mouth etc would be seen as the most beautiful. If you see a person with a beautiful nose amid their average good looks, then it is probably an average nose.

The theory is that if someone is average they sit genetically squarely in the middle of the species and so a good bet for procreation. How true that is I don't know but that is what I read.

ProjectEuropa

01-14-2005, 06:40 AM

Curtis

01-14-2005, 09:56 AM

As for the computerised "beautiful face", she looks as dull as white sliced bread. A good design for a display dummy or a sex doll, but as a person, I wouldn't give her a second glance; she's got no character. I'm reminded of an experiment in pre-computer days where they tried to create the "perfect face" by photographically merging a dozen film stars, and came up with someone totally average.

I think the reason this 'beautiful face' looks average is that they forgot the frame and gave her ugly short hair. Some years ago now TIME Magazine did a feature story on what man would look like 50 or 100 years from now. They had hundreds of readers write in to ask who the beautiful model was they used for the cover. Answer: She was a computer generation with features in proportion to how they're found among humans at large (eg. close to 25% Oriental, 20% Indian, x%Caucasian, y%Negroid, z% Semitic and so forth). If I recall correctly, that was a full-body shot, and even I found her attractive, but I think they gave her short hair, too.

quietlycuffed

01-31-2005, 08:01 AM

ok, so this is my first post, and from my name well this might not have been the best topic for me to reply to.....

FAT?????....urrrrrrrrgggggghhhh..

ok, i may not be a beauty queen, but i am far from fat.. in fact i would venture to say that since the average size of a women is a size 12...most women on her fall somewhere relatively close to that size...

i am a little smaller, but not much..

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

i thought this was a place to come to find someone who compliments you..if one person or another does not do that, then move on, why criticize?, why stoop to a level as low minded as to make someone else feel small?, just to boost your own self worth?.

ok, my rant is done, i really am a nice quiet.. well ok, maybe not quiet..
a nice young lady with a mind of her own.. and no problem speaking whats on my mind. hahaha but then again, you asked the question....

ProjectEuropa

01-31-2005, 08:43 AM

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

Uh-um slightly older than 35, weeelll a little more than slightly older with a birthday arriving like a car crash on Thursday but other than that, weighing in at 167 pounds at 5'8". Hair..hmm..thinning slightly on top. I'm pretty average all round..yep, all round. How is that for honesty?

I thought one of the things about the internet is that one can be who one wants. Oh well, I find it difficult to lie, it's just easier not to tell the truth!

Welcome!

quietlycuffed

01-31-2005, 08:57 AM

thanks for the welcome!!

i agree, the annonimity is nice, especially if you are exploring and learning.
but he was so adomant about someone's appearance, that i thought a reminder or two would be helpful ;)

it is one thing to present yourself one way, and another to be able to show yourself as you really are. in the case of weight, if you are ever going to meet, you will see this for yourself, so being upfront is the best choice i would think.

and since there are people here who are looking to meet eventually, i would hope that honesty was more the norm, not the exception.

thanks again for the welcome, sorry, if i was on a soapbox, being snowed in has made me a tad grumpy i think

GaryWilcox

01-31-2005, 11:02 AM

I really, really hate this thread. I understand why it was left up. I hate it anyways.

And, out of our own regulars, I can name 10 dead-sexy women on this forum, right off of the top of my head.

Twenty, if I put my thinking cap on.

leo9

01-31-2005, 11:21 AM

i dont think there are any more 'fat' woman in bdsm than there are in nilla life.
:o

I've probably said this before, but it bears repeating (after all, I said it :)). I don't think there are more big women into BDSM, but I think there are more who are out in public spaces, presenting themselves as proud and sexy people.

The reason is that BDSM sexiness is about what's in your head and how you express it - your dominance, your submission, your capacity for taking or inflicting pain, how you build fantasies - and only secondarily, if at all, about how you fit conventional sterotypes of looks. So women who would be ashamed to show themselves if they were held to vanilla standards can step out proudly and say "I am a great slave/Mistress/painslut/nameyourfetish," and know that nobody (except the odd moron like the one who started this thread) will just say "Eeww, you're FAAAT!"

One of the things I like about this community :)

bug

02-03-2005, 10:40 AM

i am not fat! i am not ugly! as a matter of fact i am quite the dish, my Master thinks i am damn sexy but i do know what You mean because it's hard to find good bdsm porn on the net that isn't big people, hey, Tthey gotta have fun too don't Tthey? *laffin*

bug

fetish101

02-03-2005, 11:00 AM

I hate this thread. I wish it would go away.

csr

02-03-2005, 11:08 AM

I hate this thread. I wish it would go away.
You know, I think it's the title that bothers me the most--after a while the thread actually had some good conversations going. Of course people come on the forum, see the title, and react. I wish we could rename it to "What we think of people making sweeping judgments based on weight" or something more descriptive, lol.

Master_chris

03-02-2005, 03:16 AM

I hate this thread. I wish it would go away.

You have to let offer people have they say.

regrading "Fat People" into BDSM first I think it is not fair to say that all body are fat or big bone as I think this rude, as it not nice to point at someone and say, "you are fat" they can't help the way they are made, and hay I think the more and diverse the people are then better off the BDSM will be.

I have found at some of thre bigger people in this world have a more open mind and are willing to try things, like taking a whipping a bit longer or spanked,

mm thinking about it, they might have been pain sluts <giggle>

wannabeXopsed

03-02-2005, 11:27 AM

Yes, fat has a connatation that is ugly and cruel. Fat is a fact of life for most of us. Whether it is 10 pounds or 100 most of us are fat and/or overweight by most standards.

It is like saying someone is ugly. I have seen plenty of people that in my opinion were ugly, yet they have a wonderful life with someone that has found them beyond beautiful. On both counts, they can be rude.

Fat and ugly are words that can hurt to the quick. But with all things one has to be strong enough to know themselves that words can't hurt you.

I myself, am a fat woman, and needs lots of attention. I have yet to find it(attention) and while most wouldn't find my pictures and pose's as eroctic, there are those that do, and I think in this community it is far more acceptable. I think it is because we are more open to kinks, and the more open to acceptance.

While there are people who find beastily,scat and other such forms, ugly, we accept them as they are, so a fat woman is also acceptable.

There is a lot of reasons one is fat, not just from eating to much, some are, but there are other reasons too, medical is a huge problem, some from medication taken, some from the diease they may be suffering from, but as was pointed out, fat subs need to have fun and are as sexual as a model is. The same can be said for a fat Dom, he may not be able to use his equipment, but he can be a wonderful caring and enjoyable Master, and has learned how to deal with his/her body mass and be the best there is.

So before you poo poo the idea that a fat girl/guy is unacceptable, the whole package could have been someone that is meant to be yours.

I learned that my body was a useful and even sexy from the ST's and that while my pictures weren't of professional caliber, nor as sexy to even my eyes as some of the others, I was accepted and embraced so I could learn how to perform for my Master when the time comes. But never once was I called ugly, nor fat, there were ways that I was appreciated for my endurance and dedication in learning how to accept my liabilitys.

All (imho) the true Dom/me's are open and non judgemental of the larger than most subs out there.

Ok, so now I feel better, if any of this makes sense. I have wanted to reply on this topic since it was posted in the beginning, but felt a bit shy.

Thanks
T

Sir Lanceloth

03-02-2005, 02:42 PM

overweight to me is simply weighing so much that it is unhealthy. So the only reason for me wanting to loose weight is because of my health period... When it comes to sexuality, there is one for ewery person no matter how they look, dress or even sexual orientation (this site is a clear evidence of that), so there really is no reason to argue whether fat is sexual or not. Another proof of this is easy to find, a simple search on google would enable anyone to find many sex sites featuring fat women and men. That being said, for me sexuality has allways been centered around personality, and not body. When i first saw my gf, i didnt even notice how she looked :) somehow i just knew she was the one for me, and she still is.

as a last note. I find the persons who has shown their pictures on this thread to be wery brave indeed, and i would wish that tourguide would show them to Manwhore so he could see that his lame post didnt scare the beatufull peoble on this site who sent pictures to his own thread.

bug

03-08-2005, 06:26 AM

i dislike this thread too....S/someone delete it *laffin*

ProjectEuropa

03-08-2005, 06:36 AM

[QUOTE=bug]i dislike this thread too....QUOTE]

I think someone mentioned earlier in the thread that in places this thread has some good discussion points, the real problem with it is the original posting and the title of the thread.

I think the person who wrote the original posting was being provocative or just missing the point of what life is about. He is just exposing his own ignorance and a poverty of appreciation.

If I wasn't so opposed to censorship I would say rename the thread but that would be pandering to the ignorance of the original posting.

Barton

03-08-2005, 08:12 AM

The person who started this thread was a butthole. He has been removed for being such and hopefully will never sneak in to post again. The thread however evolved into a good one and that is why it is probably still here.

Locked Advantages

03-22-2005, 11:07 AM

Okay I know this topic has been around for awhile but I read all the responses and I had to do what everyone else did and state my opinion on it. from what I see there are so much young woman around my age who starve themselves to look like models, I know from experience because my younger sister was anerexic and she went to the hospital so much times in the previous three years. I know the guy who start this topic was banned and is long gone but I figured to state my opinion. Would you really want your submissive in the hospital that much?

With me I may be a little overweight, but honestly many people are, I don't mean to be offensive to anyone...but its something that many people I notice have a problem with. I know I do....I know many people try to be superficial and look at appearences first rather than what is within the person and you may do that....but when it really comes down on it, what is within really counts. Please I wish people wouldn't think this way of others, it just causes more problems with eating disorders, as long as I am happy with myself, I don't see an issue.

alura

03-22-2005, 09:46 PM

You sir are quite out of your league here.
Size, shape, color....they have nothing to do with love.
Very sad mentality you have there.
True beauty lies within the soul, not the outer walls of skin that house our spirits.

alura

03-22-2005, 09:53 PM

I am not heavy, but I wouldn't care if the person I ended up with was.
My ex was heavy, but I didn't care.
Most of the men I was with were not what one would call anything but 'average', and I used to get hollered at by my family and friends alike who all said "What are you doing....you could have anyone you want?"
So?
Pretty faces do not necessarily a wonderful person make.
I am looking, like everyone else on here, for that knight in shining armor.
But that doesn't mean he won't be 30 lbs overweight (or even more) driving a beat up chevy.
God. Why is everyone SO hung up on looks?
That is what is so refreshing to me about this site.
Here; looks mean crap. It's the soul that counts.
After a lifetime of being lectured for the choices I made, do you know how good that feels?
How freeing?
That (pardon my little soap box here) guys aren't hitting on me or other women in here because of the way that they look?
Someday I will find my prince. Hopefully here. I don't give a SHIT (excuse my french) what he looks like on the outside. I don't care if he's twenty years older than me...or twenty years YOUNGER. I just care if he makes me happy.
And really, isn't that, deep down, what we're all looking for?

Locked Advantages

03-22-2005, 10:16 PM

When you come down to it from my eyes looks have little to do with the relationship:) Because how does how someone look have to do with the lifestyle or their submission? I have my picture here with me which will prove that woman who are a little overweight can be cute;) ::Blushes:: Now getting shy about showing it, but my former dom took it of me.

slo18

03-22-2005, 10:17 PM

I dont know if this is the actual stat but I do know its close something along the lines of 54% of amrican women are size 14 or larger but being a pluse size doesnt mean u are ugly marilin monroe was a size 14 betty page was a large woman and they are both still concindered two of the greatest sex simbols of all time. Fat doesnt mean ugly, and whats ugly to one person isnt to another.

as for personality not showing though online I dont believe that, I think that its a matter of time, if its someone u are concidering meeting, its someone u have talked to for a long time if it isnt then u arnt being safe. when u talk to someone for a year or so I feel like u can get pretty good idea of there personality. but again all of this is just my opinion take it as u will

alura

03-24-2005, 03:12 AM

I like the way that you think. Time is just that. Time. And if it is REAL, time is just a pesky element you have to get past to find the love of your life.

when u talk to someone for a year or so I feel like u can get pretty good idea of there personality. but again all of this is just my opinion take it as u will

Gallardo

03-24-2005, 03:39 PM

This thread has been here forever and it never interested me much but I had more free time today than usual...reading backwards from the last page, I finally stopped at Mnemonic's post since he brought up the point I had in my mind when I began reading. I refuse to believe there is no Spaniard into the lifestyle so they must all be lurking. So correct me if I am wrong but I believe the Spanish culture consider fat like any other physical characteristic such as having red hair, flat feet, etc. It is by no means an insult, just a matter of fact. In this spirit, I agree with those that this thread is like "flogging a dead horse".

Ugly is a different story. But that's just the flip side of beauty. Perhaps we can all discuss the beauty of women versus machine? And yes, I pick machine =P

Kaori-san

04-14-2005, 11:59 AM

Not true!! I'm into bdsm and I'm thin with long, natural blonde hair thank you! -laughs- I'm not into bdsm because I couldn't get 'normal' sex, but because I like to be dominated, so sorry what you said is not always true!

angel_in_disguise

05-25-2005, 03:36 PM

i am new here, and browsing through i found this thread... now, i haven't read all of the posts, but i did want to post this story, it isn't my work, but one that was sent to me via email a while ago, though i have no idea of te original author... the original poster of this thread reminds me of the jerks in this story...

The Best That He Could Do

The munch had ended in the usual way, With good friends saying their good- bye's in the parking lot. The Doms and the subs, each bidding the other farewell, With exchanged numbers, hugs and soft knowing smiles. No clues for an outsider to spot.

There were a few new faces to be found this time. A couple of the type that the old Doms knew too well. Vanilla's, out looking for quick, easy sex. The sort that you could in an instant smell.

They had been identified, tolerated, and closely watched. The subs warned and had been scurried away. But as they left, one had to shoot off his mouth, And say to his friend that which he had ought not to say.

"Did you get a load of that one guy's sub? Talk about a load of fat. I half expected her to moo. I thought that subs were supposed to be slim, You know, easy on the eyes. Is that the best that guy can do?"

The sub heard the words as did her Master. And she knew that this insult he would not abide. She raised her head to the stars above, And prayed that this night might not end in homicide.

She watched him approach them silently from behind, Unheard as they continued to laugh and rail. And as he reached out and grabbed each, by the scruff of the neck, She wondered if there was enough in the bank to cover his bail.

"The best I could do?" He said with a snarl in his voice.
As he held their heads tight in the crook of each arm. "You see only the body, I, the woman within, And you should be grateful, for that woman wishes, That I do you no harm."

"The worth of a submissive is the fire in her soul. The service...the submission...the love. Yet you would defile that flame with cheap tawdry jokes? I tell you, you know nothing of what you speak."

"You came to this gathering in search of quick kinky sex. Not knowing or caring what else there may be here to find. But a submissive is a gemstone, a pearl beyond price. And her submission is not in her body, But her heart, soul and mind."

"Now leave this gathering, this family of Leather and love. And bother us no more with your ignorance and your lies.
Be thankful that you leave with your tails tucked, but intact.
But first to my sub, you shall apologize."

They quickly did as he did bid, to the teary eyed sub. With the little her Master allowed them in the way of breath. They realized their words had touched a raw open nerve. And save for her wishes, this night they may well have met with their deaths.

As they roared away into the dark of the night. That same Family of Leather stayed to insure that all was as it should be. The Doms in their leathers, the subs at their sides. Proudly together in a special and eternal way.

"They were right my pet, about one thing. Though to them it was cast as pearls before swine. A tiny glimmer of truth, which they could not see. That you should know, if I am to call you mine."

"What truth, my Master?" said the still teary eyed sub. As he held her head tight upon his chest. For she knew that whatever storms may come her way, In his arms could she find safety and rest.

Her Master turned to their friends, all still gathered round. As he said, "I say this not just to her, but to all of you. This woman that I hold...that I cherish, and love...They were right....She is the BEST that I could do."