Control

[lily27]

This is the first of my poetry I have shared. Please be gentle.




Control

please
i whisper
beneath my breath

Not yet
You scold
So tenderly

please
i whimper
impatiently

Not yet
You growl
More forcefully

please
i cry out
with abandon

Not yet
You demand
my submission

please
my eyes plead
my lips silent


Yes
Now, my girl
Cum for me


please
i whisper
beneath my breath

Again
You scold
So tenderly

please
i whimper
exhausted

Again
You growl
More forcefully

please
i cry out
with abandon

Again
You demand
my submission

[Timberwolf]

I very much like this. The ebb and flow of the energy of what you do is captured in these words. And knowing you well enough as I do, it paints an especially lovely picture to me.

How lucky your Sir is, to recieve your gift. :)

[moptop]

lily, I loved this - sparse, intensely evocative with so few words... mmmm.

[cookiecat]

thanks for sharing

[elyse]

oh, lily! there is no need to be kind, or gentle -- it's a wonderful poem! dynamic, urgent, nice use of repetition to underscore the rhythm, clearly defined points of view... brava!!

i think you should write more. AGAIN

[cariad]

I read your poem, decided what I was going to post, and then found that elyse had posted almost exactly what I was going to put.

Thank you - and please be encouraged.

cariad

[Curious_1]

That was wonderful lily!!!!! And so many of us can relate :)

[Echoes]

one thing which never stops to astound me is that a lot of poems seeming simple in format are the most impacting, driven and intense poems read.
so little saying so much, a true beauty...please do write more! :rose:

[TheDeSade]

what more can I say than has been said already. The intrigue only grows.

[lily27]

Thank you for your kind words, everyone. All of your opinions mean so much to me. And you have quite inspired me to try it again as well.

[Mack_Bolan{lily}]

Such tender moments, such sweet submission and I ache every day to hear your cries. But not yet my girl, not yet...