am i sub or a switch

[ibelongtoyou]

I don't know if this question is ok but i really have this doubt... I request any of the mistresses to answer my question if they think it's necessary...

i always fantasise and dream about being dominated by a women.. i always have the drive to be dominated and humiliated by a women.. but this feeling is only sexually... the rest of the times i'm only attracted to a women like anyone else... but once a women gets physically close with me... i want her to dominate me and command me..
and another point is that i find this drive to fully submit myself only towards some women and not all the women i see and find attractive...
Very very specially women who are atleast 5 years older than me... i have this drive to lay low and worship a women only if she is older than me or atleast looks older than me...

Is this natural.. am i really into the BDSM lifestyle... am i really a sub or am i a switch or am i really fit to enter this lifestyle... please do help me...

[gloombunny]

Um, you sound like just a regular sub to me. Not being interested in submission except as part of sex is pretty common. And by no means do you need to be submitting to everyone.

What you described doesn't make you any less of a sub than anyone else. And certainly not a switch - that would mean you sometimes want to be dominant, which doesn't seem to be the case with you.

[moptop]

Absolutely, Natalie.

ibelong, I'm a sub, I havn't been around here long, but have learnt a great deal in a short time, including understanding that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be. Everyone is different. Everyone is turned on by and attracted to different things. You just have to find the right match.

A sub chooses what is right for them, who they are attracted to, wish to submit to, just as anyone outside of the lifestyle makes choices. And you choose just how much your submission infiltrates your daily life, too. It's just up to you and to how your relationship, with whoever is lucky enough to become your Mistress (or Mistresses), grows.

[cariad]

That sounds very normal ibelongtoyou. Many, many subs only wish to submit in a sexually - we are all different and please don't feel any less of a sub for it. You will be just perfect for the Domme who only wishes to dominate sexually.

cariad

[Jadetiger]

Ibelongtoyou,
Is it natural to be attracted to older women? Is it natural to want to be dominated and to worship her? It is natural to only ant to be submissive sexually? Of course it is. It is who you are and what you like.

Is it natural that your fantasies are more intense than what you want in real life? Most definitely. I find I have very extreme and even taboo fantasies at times and while they arouse me beyond belief I would never want to explore them in real life. I have many other fantasies that are not so extreme and even some of them I would never explore unless I met someone who inspired the need to explore them.

I think the fact that you don’t submit to every woman you find attractive says a lot about who you are. You are right the gift of submission is very special and should only given to those you deem worthy.

I was wondering what made you start doubting yourself. Just because of the last set f questions you asked.

Am I really into the BDSM lifestyle? What made you think you weren’t. It sounds like you are exploring and experiencing many things in your journey.

Am I really a sub or am I really a switch? To tell you the truth I don’t you well enough to hamper a guess but from what you have mentioned it seems you are focused on your submissive side.

Am I fit to enter this lifestyle? Only you can answer that question. It sounds like you have all ready started your journey into the lifestyle. My question would be why whould you think you aren’t fit?

Jade

[Timberwolf]

"I think the fact that you don’t submit to every woman you find attractive says a lot about who you are. You are right the gift of submission is very special and should only given to those you deem worthy. "

Spot on.

[Timberwolf]

And for the record I don't think there's anything unnatural about your thoughts. In fact I think you'd find there are many who have asked themselves the same question.

[Valkyrie402]

ibelongtoyou, you are who you are, which makes everything you feel acceptable because they are your feelings. No-one else can tell you what is right or wrong for you - only you can decide that. Whether one is a Dom/me, sub or switch, we all have questions and insecurities to deal with. I agree with everything that has been said by everyone else who has posted a reply here. I hope you find the support and friendship you seek to help you explore your truth. Blessings.