The various flavors of BDSM

[norton]

We say we are into BDSM. Or we enjoy bondage. Or we are 24/7.

Recently I have been assessing what I want in a relationship and have been thinking that BDSM covers a vast range of characteristics. I've had some unfortunate meetings that showed me how wide the range can be.

I am considering writing an essay about a rating sytem or guidance guide for people who would like to express what they want and what is unacceptable.

Im making this up as I go along but I picture a couple who occasionally try bondage to spice up their sex life and on the other end the 24 hours a day, 365 days a year Roman Slavery life where one partner literally has no voice in their own destiny. Life?

If there is any interest in this I will share it.

Would you be willing to share the specifics of your relationships either publically or privately so I can add them into the range?

[Jones, Nikka]

Hats off to you, norton. What you are attempting to do is a worthy yet difficult task as the variations on this kind of relationship are varied in the extreme (pun intended).

I am guessing that your system will classify bdsm on different, levels such as intensity, commitment, formality, range of activity, level of consent, sexual orientation and taste in fetishes. Already the permutations look daunting.

Regardless of how successful you are -and I do hope that everyone in the forum will help you come up with a somewhat scientific picture of the scene- there will always be people who will not fit into any categories.

If it helps I would describe my relationship with F. (my boyfriend) as monogamous, heterosexual, committed to bdsm but not 24/7, with play based primarly on sexual activity, intense but not extreme, sadomasochistic but not cruel or abusive, casual in level of formality and non-fetish specific. Kind of complicated as you can see.

If I had to describe myself words like masochist, sub, pain-slut, cum-slut, tease, bondage hog and part-time switch would come to mind. In fact this is a very good discussion I should have with F. sometime.

In the meantime, good luck!