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View Full Version : Erotic story & vote, please



moptop
11-26-2006, 03:04 PM
I wrote this as an Acedemy task, and it was so enthusiastially received, I got permission to post it here. Now, do you think it is worth putting up on the library? or does it need to go further? or do I need more experience before I 'go public? Yes, it's a vote, folks! So thank you to everyone who does vote, whether your opinion is favourable or not - I appreciate all comments & feedback.

(Please note - I am aware it still needs considerable editing/proofing: this is just to get an opinion: thanks!)

The Surveyor

Peter reeled the measuring tape back up efficiently, as he did everything. He picked his way across the building site with a sigh. He’d thought when he’d started that being a surveyor would be fun, he’d enjoyed the idea of working outside a lot, and of meeting people. But as a junior, he only got boring, routine jobs, like today’s visit to check that the work was progressing correctly according to the designs.

He heard the crunch of heavy footsteps, and looking up saw that it was Bert, the site foreman, making his way towards him with the usual belligerent scowl on his face.

“Ain’t you finished yet? Look, it’s lunch. We’re off on our break. Leave yer paperwork in the office with Millie.”

Peter restrained himself, biting back an angry retort, simply nodding and tucking the tape into his pocket.

He spent another twenty minutes or so working his way round the site, checking against the plans, finishing his report, before making his way to the prefab office building. He didn’t knock, since social niceties were not generally respected around building sites, and when he opened the door, he stopped short, mouth open, mesmerised. Millie, the site secretary and general administrative assistant, was bending down over a filing cabinet, quite unaware she was being watched, and showing a remarkable amount of flesh. She was wearing a short, flared skirt and, Peter realised, flushing, a thong – he could just see the pink lacy strap poking out between her lovely round cheeks.

He pulled the door back and stepped out, coughing loudly to give the girl a chance to arrange herself decently. He heard a cheery ‘It’s open!’, and went back in, trying hard to look as though he’d only just arrived.

Millie was a bouncy, busty, well-fleshed girl in her early twenties, blonde and ever-cheerful. She was apparently also either totally unselfconscious, or blissfully unaware, because she was still bending over the filing cabinet when Peter came in the second time. She peered over her shoulder, gave him a cheery grin and said,

“I’ll be with you in a tick, love, just got to finish doing this!”

Peter looked at the floor, at the ceiling, out of the window, anywhere, trying to force his eyes not to wander back to stare at her beautiful behind, which jiggled and heaved as she pulled the heavy files around. Eventually he just stared at his shoes, beetroot red, shuffling from one foot to the other and trying to will away the start of an erection.

Millie stood up and slammed the cabinet drawer closed, turning to him with a look of comic dismay on her face.

“Ooh! I’m glad I’ve finished that for the week! Hate filing, simply loathe it, and then I let it all pile up and it takes ages. Gives me a bad back, you know, bending over like that for so long.”

To illustrate this, she put her hand in the small of her back and rubbed it, at the same time stretching and pulling her shoulders back. Peter, who had just relaxed slightly, was immediately captured again. Millie certainly was not one to hide her ample assets, and he found himself staring at a deep cleavage and two breasts that were surely going to make the buttons pop off her top at any moment. Her little blouse was white and just transparent enough that he could see she was wearing a pink balcony bra to match her thong, cut low enough to show a little of the dark ring her aureola. He swallowed, unable to speak, and mumbled something fairly incoherent. Millie gave him a dazzling smile.

“You come to deliver your report? Hand it here, love, I’ll file it straight away.”

Peter passed it to her, and felt himself tremble as her fingers brushed his when she took the paper from him. Mollie turned and – it was deliberate, he was sure of it now – bent purposefully down to open the bottom cabinet drawer. She bent over slowly, her legs stretched taut on her high heels, and Peter could only stare as her skirt slowly exposed again those wonderful buttocks. He swallowed. She pulled the drawer out to its fullest extent, moving back to allow it room. She tucked the paper right at the very back of the drawer, and had to spread her legs slightly to stretch that far. With her butt sticking up in the air, her thighs apart, the lines of her pussy under the pink of the thong were clearly visible.

Peter’s hard on was not going to go away now.

When she stood back up, she gave him a very deliberate look – cool, teasing, saucy.

“D’you get a good look, love? Did you like what you saw?” She moved towards him, exaggerating the wiggle of her hips, and moving her shoulders in a sensual way that made her breasts sway and call to him. She smiled at him, reached over and took his tie delicately in her hand. She peeked up at him from beneath her lashes, smiling like a naughty child.

“They’ve all gone down the pub, ain’t they? I stayed behind on purpose ‘cause you was ‘ere,” she murmured. “I’ve fancied you for such a long time, you know. A bit of class, I reckon, not like that lot, they’re all yobs.” She pulled on his tie, making him lean towards her. She looked up at him, her lovely lips pursed to kiss. His lips parted in response, his breathing now slightly ragged. But instead of kissing his mouth, she moved her head suddenly to one side and bit his earlobe, simultaneously crushing her breasts and hips up against him.

“Don’t you fancy little Millie a bit, eh, love?” she whispered in his ear. “Oooh – I can tell you do, I can feel your cock through your pants, you’re hard just from looking at me, ain’t you.” And one hand started snaking down his body, her long nails teasing and scratching through his shirt, down to start rubbing his stiff prick, grinding her pelvis against his. She reached her lips up to his again, and this time he could not resist. He put his arms round her and kissed her really hard, one hand finding its way automatically to her arse, to squeeze and massage and rub and push her harder up against him. She started making little squeaks, which just got him hotter. Her brazenness, the fullness of her, offering herself to him, seemed to bring out the worst in him. He felt his lust rising as her body moulded itself to his, shameless, wanton.

She started to fumble to try to undo his fly, but he broke away from the kiss and pulled her hand away.

“Get over there!” he ordered, pointing at the desk, his voice thick, his breathing harsh. She looked momentarily startled, but regained her assurance and swayed over to the large desk, perching her butt on it, spreading her legs really wide, and leaning back on her arms. Her wares displayed.

He moved quickly over to her, and as she pushed her body up towards him, he grabbed each breast and squeezed them hard, pulling back the edge of the blouse with his thumbs and putting his mouth down to bite. He got his hands in and freed her tits from the confines of the bra, and took one nipple between his teeth, closing his lips around her soft flesh and sucking while he kept a gentle bite on. He held her other nipple between finger and thumb, squeezing, but not too much. Millie started to moan slightly, and she wrapped her legs around him so that she could push herself up against him, her head thrown back and her long blond hair brushing the desktop. As she relaxed into the pleasure, he started to clench his teeth and pinch his thumb and finger together… a little more… a little more… the noises she was making got higher pitched, closer to a whimper. Just as he could feel her tensing with pain, he twisted the nipple he held viciously and clamped his teeth down hard. She cried out, jerking up towards him, but not trying to get away.

He felt a great up-welling of fierce emotion in him at her pain and her pleasure in it. His animalistic soul, usually cowed and hidden away, howled within him. He pulled open her blouse, buttons flying, and dragged his nails hard down her body, leaving hot red trails against her soft whiteness. Her whimpers turned to panting gasps and moans, every time her hurt her she hissed. She was writhing against him, but he grabbed her calves and pulled her thighs away from his body, forcing them open as far as they would go, so that he hurt her and she cried out again. He smiled to himself – he could tell the difference between a cry of pleasurable pain, like when he twisted her nipples, and a cry of real pain. He liked them both, loved the sluttishness of her enjoying the pain she liked, but loved the brutality of imposing the other sort of pain on her.

He succumbed now completely to the animal in him. Pushing suddenly forwards, he pinned her against the desk with his weight and, holding one arm, slapped her hard across the face. She gave a strange little shriek and stared at him now in shock and fear, the brazen little hussy making all the moves quite gone, only the scared little girl remaining.

“Shut up. Don’t make a sound unless I say you can. Don’t move unless I say you can. And if I tell you to do something, you do it at once. OK?”

She nodded, dumb, amazed, not able to understand how the bashful surveyor had turned into such a beast, so self-assured, so commanding, so terrifying, so exciting.

He pushed her further backwards on the desk, her legs splayed wide, then grabbed her ankles and bent her legs up so that her feet, still in their high heels, were also on the desk. Her arms were tiring now, he could see the muscles in them trembling, her elbows just giving way slightly now and again as she struggled to obey him. He reached forwards, slowly, and ran the tips of his fingers along the crotch of her thong. He watched her intently, and smiled with grim satisfaction as she closed her eyes and involuntarily pushed her pussy towards him. The feel of her heat and her moisture inflamed him, he felt as though he wanted to rip, shred, bite, pull, bury himself within her, cover himself with every part of her. He tore the thong off her and threw the damp shreds across the room, and without any warning forced three fingers hard into her. She started to scream, cutting the sound off as she realised what she had done, but sobbing, unable to cope with the weakness of her arms, the fear, the pain, and her simultaneous desire. She stared at him, panting, crying, her look pleading with him not to hurt her, her eyes begging him to take her, fuck her, screw her until she was a quivering mass.

“You are so wet, you little slut. Your cunt is open to me, three fingers, just like that, you whore, you were ready for them, weren’t you! And you want more, don’t you?” She nodded, ashamed, afire. He put a hand just at the base of her spine to hold her still, and added a fourth finger, shoving mercilessly.

“Go on, answer me! I want you to tell me. Because I’m not going to do it unless you beg, and I know you want it, don’t you, you whore.”

Millie wept, her teeth clenched as his thick fingers probed and pushed inside her, hurting her but still she could feel her desire rising, her juices running, her clit throbbing. She sobbed, and in a whisper managed to say,

“Yes, yes please, yes I do, please…”

“Do what? Please what? What is this, 'ooh, yes, please'," he mocked her, imitating her, "What good’s that?”

With the hand that had been holding her butt he grabbed a large handful of her dangling hair, pulling it hard so that her weakened arms finally collapsed and she fell sideways on the desk. He pushed his face hard up against hers, rubbing the palm of his hand now against her clit as his fingers still probed her wetness. As he felt her body respond to his rubbing, he jabbed his hand hard into her, making her jump and arch her back with pain, which just increased the pleasure as her clit was pushed up against him.

“What? What, tell me, whore, what do you want?”

“I – I – God, I want you to fuck me, please, I really need you to fuck me, please, please fuck me right now, please!”

Peter laughed, a low, vicious sound that made her flesh crawl but her pussy throb. He pulled his hand out of her, pulled her off the desk brutally, so she landed sprawled on the floor at his feet.

“Get up. Turn round and grab hold of the other side of the desk. Get your arse in the air, girl, I’m going to fuck your sweet arse so hard you won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

Millie looked up at him aghast. “Oh, please, please – don’t,” she begged, terrified. “I’ve never – no-one’s ever – not, not there…”

He stared down at her, a slow smile of intense and evil pleasure spreading across his face.

“What, are you a virgin, then? Never had your arse fucked? That’s wonderful. I’m very pleased, Millie, very happy that this is your first time. I will make it memorable for you, I promise. Stand up now.”

He held a hand out to her and helped her up, almost gently, as though with a sense of reverence at being the first to show this brazen little hussy exactly what she deserved, exactly what whores should get. He motioned her to lean over the desk, and undid his fly as she bent over. In her high heels, with her chest and face pressed against the desk top, her buttocks were pushed high, just begging to be taken. He lifted her skirt and stroked her soft round cheeks, kicking at her feet to make her spread her legs more. His cock was rock hard, throbbing, aching for that beautiful tight little hole. He pushed its tip between her cheeks a little, it was wet with pre-cum and slithered right in so he could push up against that little hole, tight yet yielding.

He reached down between her legs and pushed a couple of fingers into her sopping pussy, reaching up with his thumb to roll it across and around her clit, making her moan. Just for the hell of it, because he knew she couldn’t help making a noise, he slapped her arse hard with his other hand, relishing how she jumped and drew her lips closed tight with a little squeak. Her cheeks and pussy clenched with the surprise and the fear, and he thrust his prick at her to feel her tense up more. Despite her terror, she was unable to ignore the pleasure she was getting from him rubbing her clit and moving his fingers inside her, her bottom gyrated and pushed back at him. He drew his fingers slowly out and ran them along her crack up to her anus, rubbing the juices around, rubbing them on his cock. He inserted one wet finger inside her arse, wiggling and pushing, just getting past that first moment of resistance, then pulled it out and spread her cheeks, placing the tip of his cock just on her lovely puckered hole. He stared at it longingly for a moment, then leant forward, letting go her cheeks to grab her waist with one hand, a handful of her hair with the other and, pulling her head up towards him, whispered very quietly,

“This is going to hurt, bitch. And you’re going to love it.” He let go her hair, held her really tight at the hips, then thrust himself into her with all his might, forcing his full length into her in one shove.

She screamed. She felt her insides ripping, felt a fire burst inside her as he drove his swollen member deep into her. He pulled out, almost completely, and pounded back into her, again and again. She hung onto the desk for dear life, sure she was going to die, the pain too much. But even as she prayed for it to be over, he moved one of his hands up to grip her shoulder and moved the other back round to her pussy. He started to rub her clit again, and snake his fingers in and out of her cunt. As he shoved his cock in and out of her arse, the pain lessened, and the pleasure started to build. Despite herself, she found that she was beginning to push back against his prick, move with him and into him, grinding her hips as her clit started to throb harder, her pussy clamping down on his fingers, and her arse wrapping itself tightly onto his cock. He was grunting now, she was panting, and she started to moan at him.

“Oh, God, yes, please, oh please, make me cum, I really need to cum, oh Christ, that hurts, Jesus, that’s so good, please, yes, harder, harder, yes, yessssss…”

And he went with her, taken by the pleasure and by her enjoyment as well as her pain, hissing at her,

“Is that good, bitch, do you like that, yes, my cock inside your arse, me fucking your dirty little arse, you slut, yes, look at you, begging like the whore you are, you love it don’t you,”

He felt his orgasm rising inside him, and could feel she was close as well. He pounded into her, grabbing a great handful of her ample flesh to give himself leverage, rubbing her clit really fast now, and felt her start to shudder under him. She came suddenly with a great yell, her pussy and her arse pulsing and throbbing hard. He abandoned her clit then for his own pleasure, holding hard onto both her hips so he could really ram into her, eyes closed, mouth open and head thrown back. He fucked her harder and faster than he had ever fucked anyone before, completely overwhelmed by the pure lust of it, the pure bestial pleasure of it, hearing her yelling and feeling her spasms on him as she came. He burst, erupted into orgasm, making animal cries and grunts as he spurted again and again inside her, cumming so hard he thought it would never end.

As at last the spasms died down, down to little twitches, little leaps of the body, little shudders, he leant across her, wrapped her in his arms, stroked her hair, savoured feeling his cock gently softening, feeling her muscles slowly letting him go. She was shuddering slightly under him, little tremors running through her, gradually decreasing, and he shushed and murmured to her gently, rocking slightly. Slowly, their breathing returned to normal. He pulled softly away from her, tenderly rearranged her skirt over her buttocks, helped her up carefully, and hugged her, wiping her tear-stained face.

“You were wonderful. You are beautiful. That was marvellous. Thank you.”

She looked up at him, bemused, confused, no longer frightened, marvelling. This man, animal, lover, gentleman, beast, what was he? She couldn’t tell. She only knew she wanted more, she wanted him, wanted to be his. With her body, she felt as though he had taken her soul. And it felt good.

Ozme52
11-26-2006, 04:34 PM
Yeah, post it and add to it, new chapters.

Keep the title relevent. weg*

moptop
11-26-2006, 05:22 PM
Tks, Oz... yes, you're right, it could just be a beginning. Re relevance - well, he IS a surveyor... I'm sure I could come up with something else to do with surveying equipment... give me time... research needed... um... Still, building sites give lots of opportunities - scaffolding and stuff. Yes. OK. *wanders off thinking about screwdriver handles*

orchid
11-26-2006, 08:22 PM
awesome!
yes please do post it....and add more!

little_rose
12-11-2006, 12:14 PM
this is a great story moptop - really good and really hot!;)
definitely post it in the library.. And update it too, im sure you'll have many avid readers:)

Arria
10-13-2007, 02:32 PM
A great story, and well written!