Dom Training

[vanillaslave]

From what i understand about old school Dom training, it seemed to be the norm for Doms to begin D/s training ( a somewhat formal training i imagine) to begin with the Dom as a submissive.
I'd like to read some discussion on this topic from Doms who took this path into the lifestyle. Are there any Doms here who did this? I don't mean current Doms who began as submissives as part of discovering who they are. I mean Doms who wanted to train as Doms who as part of Dom training began as a sub.

Part of me understands the concept and i have a good idea of what i think the responses would be. But i would nonetheless enjoy hearing of first hand experiences.

[S_Couture]

Not me. I went to school to get my masters degree.

[vanillaslave]

heh. I have a Master's degree myself Sir. sssssshhhh *wink*

and You are making me want to start a topic that would probably get me banned or as Tourguide says "run out of here on a rail" and i am so happy to be here i am trying to be good....

[S_Couture]

Maybe he would spank you instead. You are much too sweet to ban.

[Jones, Nikka]

Originally posted by vanillaslave
From what i understand about old school Dom training, it seemed to be the norm for Doms to begin D/s training ( a somewhat formal training i imagine) to begin with the Dom as a submissive.

I do not know what would be considered 'old school Dom training' and I know a few doms who would be against the very idea of ever subbing to anyone else, but the whole concept sounds very sensible to me.
Sure, dear doms, it would not be in your character to, let us say, submitt to a flogging, but how could you possibly know how to effectibly apply the whip if you have no idae if what your sub is going through?
Big question. Would a dom that undergoes such training still be considered a dom or a switch?
Although I am definitely a sub and a deeply masochistic one at that, I have to say that my experience under the rod was very useful the few times I was asked or forced to apply the whip to someone else.

[Curtis]

"Big question. Would a dom that undergoes such training still be considered a dom or a switch"

Good question. If they were training, meaning doing it for educational purposes, wouldn't that make them just interested, involved doms? It seems to me that in order to be a switch, you have to have "intent to switch".

Realizing that this vears off-topic, would a sub who takes up the cane because their dom/me orders them to, be a switch? I'm thinking it would depend on whether they enjoyed it.

Back on topic, I agree with Nikka that such training would be a very good idea (and that subs should try domming, to get a better idea what their dom/me is thinking or experiencing).

I had the same impression as vanillaslave for about two decades before I discovered that this was more an "ideal" that S&M dabblers aspired to than a "rule". Like Camelot, it's a good ideal.

My two cents.

[GaryWilcox]

Sorry to be off topic, but a quick reminder: stay on the freakin' topic and don't use it to bring up personal beefs.

I removed a post on this thread just a moment ago, sacrificing some great on-topic discussion for some subtle off-topic flaming. Pained me to do it, but if I have to, I will.

And I'd appreciate it if similar posts did not reappear.

Play nice, folks. This is a great topic. Let's stay on it!

[Escritor]

Being a switch myself, I should say that, at least IMHO, you're only a switch if you ENJOY being both the dom and sub roles and also if you play both parts regularly. If you're a dom and one time you played sub, then you're still a dom just trying to get some experience on the other side of the cane. Same goes for a sub.

You could even compare it to a heterosexual person that during his/her discovery years had some homosexual experiences. That doesn't make him/her gay, for he/she is still heterosexual unless he/she enjoyed it and carries on that life from then on.

Regards

[slave_man]

Being a switch myself, I should say that, at least IMHO, you're only a switch if you ENJOY being both the dom and sub roles and also if you play both parts regularly. If you're a dom and one time you played sub, then you're still a dom just trying to get some experience on the other side of the cane. Same goes for a sub.

You could even compare it to a heterosexual person that during his/her discovery years had some homosexual experiences. That doesn't make him/her gay, for he/she is still heterosexual unless he/she enjoyed it and carries on that life from then on.

Regards

I think this is a good comparison. I think it is about enjoying it as well. If you enjoy both, you are a switch. I think even if you don't play both parts regularly, maybe you have a relationship where you are a Dom for a while, then a relationship in which you are a sub, you can still be considered a switch. But I think in the end it doesn't matter what label you put on someone, as long as they are enjoying whatever role they're playing.

[ValKyrie]

I did not train as a sub to become a Domme, but it was the end result of training as a submissive that I realized my place was on top, Dominance.

However, I do have friends who are Dominants and as part of their training did spend time participating in submissive activities. Switches??? No. Well trained Dominants? Yes.

I don't believe that training as a submissive or a submissive wielding a flogger is going to allow anyone the opportunity to get into or understand the headspace of their alter role, in a manner of speaking. A Dominant may learn how to use a horse hair flogger and feel the different sensations that vary with the type of swing or flick of a wrist. If He or She is truly Dominant, they will not necessarily understand subspace or the emotional and psychological components of submission. It is as foreign to them as being caught in a mousetrap is to an elephant.

Other means of training Dominants in the more formal end of BDSM culture include having a new Dominant mentored by an experienced and knowledgable submissive. I find this an interesting tact to take in training of Dominants and thought it may stir up the discussion a bit. Any thoughts?

[Curtis]

Actually, Valkyrie's idea (inexperienced Dom/mes being trained by experienced subs) sounds pretty ideal to me. It's what I've been wishing for for a quarter of a century.

[slavelucy]

I agree on this as well. My old Master and I discussed this, and he said one of the people he ever learned the most from was an experienced submissive.

andi, just out of curiousity, when you say, 'your old Master' (the one who learnt a great deal from speaking to submissives) do you mean this in the sense of his age or that he was a previous Master?

lucy

[slavelucy]

previous, lucy ;)

but then he wasn't too young either - the whole "older men are sexy" thread brought back to life..I'm a firm believer in that - for the most part, at least! :D

Ah, right, thanks for clearing that up andi...i had visions of him being an old jedi Master or something! (although, HOW cool would that be!!! :D).

And, as always, i whole heartedly concur that older men are sexy...*grin*.

To get it back on track..ahem...as well as the jedi thing, i did muse over whether an older Dominant would be more likely to 'learn' from the submissive...

luce x

[blackshadowmast]

And, as always, i whole heartedly concur that older men are sexy...*grin*.

To get it back on track..ahem...as well as the jedi thing, i did muse over whether an older Dominant would be more likely to 'learn' from the submissive...

luce x All is possible, but only if the two parties are patient and willing enough to teach and learn from each other. ;)

[slavelucy]

All is possible, but only if the two parties are patient and willing enough to teach and learn from each other. ;)

Oh yeah, for sure BSM, it's all possible of people are willing and patient. But i think the notion of a dominant 'learning' from a submissive is a particularly...*thinks for the word*..intriguing, interesting concept, to me anyway. This is probably because the nature of D/s naturally veers towards one person very much being the 'Master' (whether or not one actually employs the word title 'Master') and yet they would learn from their subordinate, literally. It sort of strikes me as odd but totally natural, all at the same time.

i am rambling, sorry!

lucy

[happycrops]

a slave craves, a dom either denies the slave or rewards the slave the slave never leads although it may instigate an ideas it is allowed input but not allowed a vote.... :)

[new master]

Oh yeah, for sure BSM, it's all possible of people are willing and patient. But i think the notion of a dominant 'learning' from a submissive is a particularly...*thinks for the word*..intriguing, interesting concept, to me anyway. This is probably because the nature of D/s naturally veers towards one person very much being the 'Master' (whether or not one actually employs the word title 'Master') and yet they would learn from their subordinate, literally. It sort of strikes me as odd but totally natural, all at the same time.

i am rambling, sorry!

lucy

i agree it is much like how at yout job you are encouraged by your boss for new ideas of how to improve productivity. in our case though "productivity" is much more enjoyable.

[ValKyrie]

i agree it is much like how at yout job you are encouraged by your boss for new ideas of how to improve productivity. in our case though "productivity" is much more enjoyable.


Great analogy!

I do believe we are constantly learning from those we surround ourselves with, regardless of roles etc.

[Pandora's Box]

Oh yeah, for sure BSM, it's all possible of people are willing and patient. But i think the notion of a dominant 'learning' from a submissive is a particularly...*thinks for the word*..intriguing, interesting concept, to me anyway. This is probably because the nature of D/s naturally veers towards one person very much being the 'Master' (whether or not one actually employs the word title 'Master') and yet they would learn from their subordinate, literally. It sort of strikes me as odd but totally natural, all at the same time.

i am rambling, sorry!

lucy

Actually, that is one element that is very important to me. Put it on the level with teachers and students. It is a very poor teacher indeed that can learn nothing from their students.

I can't think of a non-arrogant sounding way to say this, my apologies if I offend. (Usually I have a better grasp upon tact, but I'm not quite myself today.) If a dom doesn't realize that there are things to learn, from me and from others, then I can't really say that I would want that dom.

[Barton]

A good Dom should always be learning more about everything that is associated with being the Master. To always be seeking knowledge is to be striving to perfect the art. And art it is.
A scene must be well planned, and well executed in order for it to be beneficial for both Dom & sub. You must know what you wish to accomplish and what tools and activities will be used to obtain the desired results.
Training a slave so that they are also fulfilled and happy is no easy task. Having a successful relationship with your slave requires much communication and understanding. Through these two things comes learning and improvement. If a Dom cannot communicate with his/her slave they will not be very good at being the Master. There is more to it than swinging a whip.
Barton.