Financial Domination

[ShadowyFox]

Has anyone ever experienced this? I haven't, but I've seen websites about it. Not phone sites so much, but the actual sites that are made (the majority by dominatrixes) by individuals who make you pay for every little thing that involves contact with them. That they controlled every bit of their income.

Something about that is really powerful. Something intoxicating about having that sort of domination. It makes me think of the individuals who do so much humiliation to individuals, that they have multiple slaves and take their income as a means to be opulent.

Anyone else ever thought of this? Or had any thoughts about it?:)

[dynamicbuttler]

I am NOT into this. I'm a junkie for humiliation in it's rawest and darkest forms, but at my heart I'm a romantic. I couldn't be with a domme unless I loved and trusted her, and I do not love or trust superficial people- People who think about things and money instead of abstracts, ideas and feelings... I guess what I'm saying is that no superficial bitch is going to spend my money on designer clothes, etc.

[TheDeSade]

I have heard of it but have never seen it personally. I can see how someone with a really needy personality might mistake this kind of abuse for domination. I think in a lot of ways it is not much different than the kind of control that some cult leaders manage to inflict on their followers. They look for a certain personality type or traits and then prey on those weaknesses to their own personal good. I don't think it is domination I thinkn it is abuse.

[ShadowyFox]

That is possibly what draws me to it, as I've been a victim of several different forms of abuse. Strangely, I've seen it in many stories, and it is maybe a curious thing to say, but there is a certain quality that draws me to it.

I think that some of it might be me being drawn to abusive situations, some of it might be the feeling of others caring for me, for having certain things done, and all they ask of me is to give them a safe place to be.

[_ID_]

I've seen websites dedicated to this, as well as read some Domme profiles that advertised their services. I can't see this as being healthy in any regard.

Taking it one step further.

If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful.

[~hellish one~]

I've seen websites dedicated to this, as well as read some Domme profiles that advertised their services. I can't see this as being healthy in any regard.

Taking it one step further.

If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful.

i agree with everything you just said. although i envy the Domme that would have the time to micromanage their sub's life like that.

[Timberwolf]

I echo a lot of what has already been said. I think even at it's best, it's a sign the person Dominating this way is superficial, or even lazy (eg. "I am a pretty Domme. I don't feel like getting a job. Pay my bills, slave."). At it's worst, it's outright exploitation of male subs by, quite frankly, mental prostituion from people who in some cases probably aren't even real Dommes.

These "Dommes" who flaunt online how they have a stable of like 20 guys paying all their bills... let's just say if they are happy with their boys that's all well and good. I doubt they'd be capable of Dommeing someone like me though.

It generally goes against a lot of what I consider the important priciples of what I view as healthy BDSM or D/s activity, for me personally. And if there wasn't such a shortage of decent Dommes out ther for all those closet sub men, I doubt it would be half as effective as it seems to be currently.

"If however you were to be living with this Domme, and you were not simply a mare from their stable, them controlling your income. Deciding what does or does not get paid for, bought, purchased, without putting you into financial ruin. Then it could be a healthy relationship, but only if it was done to Dominate in a way that can be viewed as caring, and not neglectful."

I agree with ID on this though. If you're in a legitimate 1 on 1 relationship, perhaps it's something one could look more into. For example a lot of D/s kinksters seem to like the concept of "Daddy/daughter" or "Mommy/son" fantasy, and I could see working a sort of "allowance" thing into the picture, if that worked for you. Not for everyone but I'd say that would certainly be much helathier than the sort of "I have a stable of bill payers"... thing.

[TomOfSweden]

My last slave was also a money slave and so is the one I have now. It was on their request so it's nothing I demand at all. It requires extreme financial responsibility, which I have. Not being a poor guy also helps.

My slave gives me what she earns and begs me for money when she needs it. I'll usually say yes. I use my judgement, which seems to work fine. My job as a Master isn't to make my slaves life more complicated, but on the contrary, easier. I am a very generous person so I doubt she feels used in a bad way.

My advice is that if you want to be a money slave. Give it to somebody who doesn't actually need it, or you might end up just getting used for the money.

[gagged_Louise]

Saw this on the homepage of a Chicago dominatrix:

I'm a professional Domme so sex is out of the question. I charge 250$ an hour for giving you the training that you need to enhance your slavishness.

Bad ass. I can somehow understand that one might wish to be fleeced of money for reasons of sexual orientation, but there must be easier ways to achieve that feeling.

[annie]

Sho...

I think what the members who have posted so far, and now myself included, are trying to say is....

It may not be our (my) kink... but if it is yours and what excites you that is what matter! But... be careful not to be taken by a wannabe who only wants the money and doesn't want to actually be a Domme to you. Safety in all D/s relationships, be it physical, mental or even financial is what is most important!

Interesting topic and subject. One i don't think i have seen here before... thanks for posting it!

[TomOfSweden]

Saw this on the homepage of a Chicago dominatrix:

I'm a professional Domme so sex is out of the question. I charge 250$ an hour for giving you the training that you need to enhance your slavishness.

Bad ass. I can somehow understand that one might wish to be fleeced of money for reasons of sexual orientation, but there must be easier ways to achieve that feeling.

But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue.

[ShadowyFox]

Thanks everyone, especially Annie. I'm not sure whether I would want to be in the submissive position, but there is something so electrifying with controlling money. I don't really feel money is necessary to life, but allowing someone to gift things to me is very nice (and as an individual, takes much stress off and makes me blush alot).
I don't think I'd want to abuse a D/s relationship, but I do think that there is an amazing power, an intense energy, that I feel, even just thinking about someone actually wanting to pay to see, let alone have me guide them in any level of things.
I doubt I could ever do it (as I'm way too embarrassed to ever have something like that listed as a bank transfer or cashing a check like that), but it still is a tantalizing fantasy. I think that maybe, at least for me, it's a psychological...well, not sadism, but I think that maybe the money is something that has more weight than a simple compliment, you know?
After having been in an abusive relationship (and pretty well being told that I wasn't attractive for most of my life), it's like the power of an unexpected first kiss with the girl of your dreams. It's that level of intensity.

[Miraculix]

Not into it. Period. I have no online slaves and two offline girls on a sporadic base who have their own lives, families and dreams; and money is NEVER the issue.

Furthermore, I find it disgusting, and a sign of cheap-bastard-type-of-exploitation. Want to spend/lose money? Get a hooker, don't try to involve BDSM into it, where LOVE, TRUST and reciprocity are so much part of this...

Lets put it this way: NO Dom/Domme who intends to control your money as part of hi/her curriculum, would EVER pass the Acid test...

[Jadetiger]

I really find the responses quite interesting. It seems some how every one thinks these women are forcing these people. You and I may not have this particular kink but there are many that do or it wouldn't be a fetish. Now do you and I have such needs probably not but there are those that do. If they did I am sure they wouldn't feel comfortable in sharing them with us with the responses I have read. The site is here to share knowledge and our experiences. I don't think condemning others who participate in the form of domination is a way to encourage them to share their thoughts with us.

[Miraculix]

Sorry if it sounded like that. I was not condemning, simply stating my view on it...

In my opinion BDSM is not part of the game, when one of the two partners feels nothing for the other one.

[TheDeSade]

Still a very interesting thread. . . . . but is there a place for the submissive who really wants this kind of control? I know there are probably some out there who crave this sort of domination and who can easily afford it. If that is their kink should we condemn the person who gives them what they want?

[annie]

As i stated earlier...

May not be any one person particular kink....

The overall goal in any D/s relationship is safety (imho)... emotional, physical, financial... so to each their own... as long as everyone has the type of fun they desire to have! :)

[Timberwolf]

"I really find the responses quite interesting. It seems some how every one thinks these women are forcing these people. You and I may not have this particular kink but there are many that do or it wouldn't be a fetish. Now do you and I have such needs probably not but there are those that do. If they did I am sure they wouldn't feel comfortable in sharing them with us with the responses I have read. The site is here to share knowledge and our experiences. I don't think condemning others who participate in the form of domination is a way to encourage them to share their thoughts with us."

They're not "forcing" anyone, no. However when I (and many other sub males, not all as certain about what they seek or as educated about their rights as a sub) have to wade through "Domme" after "Domme" that comes with an hourly fee and the line "don't expect sex, because I'm a Domme and stuff", I don't think there's much reason to hold back on it. Some of the subs are certainly aware and accepting totally of the fact these women are sexual professionals who probably have a couple dozen clients a week.

But I don't think there's much question that, quite frankly, certain pro Dommes are using their position of (viewed) authority to exploit money out of curious/closet sub men that simply don't know any better. Actually I think I rather agree with Tom "But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue."

This is not to say that all people involved in the practice are doing it this way. And certainly some of the male subs do know full well what they are getting into. And there are ways I can see financial domination being interesting in a one on one couple. I'm just saying, I don't think there's much question there are certain Dommes using this to exploit guys that just don't know any better on the side by taking advantage of their emotions and feelings, and I don't think that should be glossed over. If we're going to discuss a topic let's look at all sides of it.

[~hellish one~]

This is a great thread and i'd hate to see it get trashed because the debate got a lil too heated. Don't mean to interrupt here guys but just wanted to remind you to keep things friendly and always remember what annie said...just because this particular kink doesn't work for you...doesn't mean it is not a healthy kink for someone else.

my point of view on it is this...

i'm all for Pro-Dom/mes...as long as the sub knows what they are getting into. and it doesn't make them prostitutes either...unless they ARE offering sex. Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we? i may not be into the whole Pro-Dom/me thing but that doesn't mean i am against others having fun with it.

now...as for money slaves...meaning subs/slaves that give their Masters/Mistresses all of their money...i don't see a problem with that either. i DO have a problem with the Dom/me abusing the situation though. if it is a healthy relationship then where is the problem? if Woogs and i were living together i would gladly hand over my money to him if he asked for it. i trust him with my money and i trust that he wouldn't abuse that privilege....but that's just me.

now...let's play nice and continue the debate :)

[Timberwolf]

"Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we?"

Depends on the massage. ;)

[~hellish one~]

"Hell we pay massage therapists to give us pleasure but don't call them prostitutes now do we?"

Depends on the massage. ;)

lmao! ~pinching you~ you know what i meant!!!

[Timberwolf]

Ouch! You're such a meanie.

Hey as I've said before in this thread, I see no reason a finincial Domination situation can't be healthy. I'm just not prone to accepting that (a) Being an attractive female (b) being able to set up your own website, and (c) being able to yell at men about how they should send you money to pay your bills, qualifies as the healthy version. But that's just me, I guess.

[TomOfSweden]

Sorry if it sounded like that. I was not condemning, simply stating my view on it...

In my opinion BDSM is not part of the game, when one of the two partners feels nothing for the other one.

Well, I can definitely see how being ignored, neglected and used can turn somebody on. I think you would benefit from widening your horizon somewhat. Masochism has many faces.

On a side-note, I love my slave more than life itself, and take all her money.

[TomOfSweden]

Selling your body and your services in any way could be labeled as prostitution if you're in the mood for it, (like going to a normal job we'd rather not do). But if the slave gives freely to the Master/Misstress and there is no service or negotiated number, than that can impossibly be called prostitution.

[His_blizzard]

But that has nothing to do with being a money slave. This lady is a prostitute. it's a completly different issue.

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

[~hellish one~]

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

that's what i'm saying...when i think of prostitute i think of someone charging money for sexual acts.

i can see how you could consider Pro Dommes that don't offer sex as prostitutes...after all they are prostituting their talents/abilities for money...but that is too general of a label for me. if you use the word in that sense then writers, painters...just about anyone that charges money for something could be considered a prostitute. soooo...yeah, Pro Dommes w/o sex just doesn't seem like prostitution to me. ~shrugs~

[TomOfSweden]

Actually I have two friends who are Pro Dommes and just like the one in the quote, there is NEVER any sex involved. They make rather good money because many are willing to pay to be trained professionally. I always thought a prostitute was one who is paid for sexual acts. ~bliz~

I define sex a lot broader than which parts go into which hole. The key is sexual excitment. If they're getting payed to give up time to make others sexually excited in person, then it's prostitution. I have a friend who worked as a male prostitute a while. The sex was just at the very end of the "date". Those women wanted to be seduced, with dinner and dancing and things like that. Most of it could hardly be defined as sex, but sure as hell got them excited. and they where willing to pay for it.

[Timberwolf]

"I define sex a lot broader than which parts go into which hole. The key is sexual excitment. If they're getting payed to give up time to make others sexually excited in person, then it's prostitution."

I don't think I could agree more.

[gloombunny]

So strippers are also a subset of prostitutes?

I generally agree that prostitution doesn't need to involve "sex" per se, but I'm not so sure about that consequence of your definition.

[Miraculix]

Strippers play with your feelings, or at least do their best to do so.

Does that make them prostitutes, or a subset of them?

Hell, even a commercial of Mars chocolate bars plays with my feelings!

[lily27]

Like many others, I have a problem with these online Net Dommes who are only out to get into some poor sob's wallet.

BDSM is supposed to be about mutual respect, and fulfillment. It is my impression that most of these "women" don't care about their "subs" and are only in it for the money.

If people want to include financial denomination within their relationship, more power to them. But when someone decides to set up a website just to milk people of money, that's just wrong.

[Flaming_Redhead]

OK...here's my take on it. *deep breath* I'm in no way saying I condone anyone taking money from another for selfish reasons, but a fool and his money are soon parted. There's one born every minute. It all boils down to supply and demand. *leaves quickly*

[dynamicbuttler]

Amen.

[TomOfSweden]

OK...here's my take on it. *deep breath* I'm in no way saying I condone anyone taking money from another for selfish reasons, but a fool and his money are soon parted. There's one born every minute. It all boils down to supply and demand. *leaves quickly*

Some people just aren't good with money. My ex wife had more money available late in the month once she gave it all to me. She really needed someone to hold all her money and be her accountant. Which I was in a way.

She wanted to buy so much worthless shit all the time. Such a spoiled brat. She just didn't have any filters in her brain preventing her from buying stuff she wanted but didn't need.

[Flaming_Redhead]

Some people just aren't good with money.

This is true. I'm not saying that financial domination can't be a good thing. When I was married, that was the only thing my husband ever did that could be termed dominant. He handled balancing the checkbook and paying bills. I didn't necessarily have to ask him for money or permission to buy things. The only time I asked was if it was more than a couple hundred dollars just to make sure it wasn't gonna get us in a bind since I really had no clue. I was just stating my opinion of the online crap that everyone thinks is so wrong. It is morally wrong, but people also need to take responsibility and stop playing the victim all the time. I'm sorry (not really) if I sound unsympathetic to their plight, but it's not as if they're being forced or duped out of their cold hard cash.

[cariad]

Was trying to work out why I happily allow someone to hold the purse strings for me, but think the kind financial domination which this thread opened with is wrong.

I think that it is to do with responsibility. Although he has control over our finances, I know my Dom would give me his last penny if I needed it, because he considers himself to be responsible for me and truly cares for me. Does the same sense of responsibility apply in these situations? I have no first, or even second hand experience of them, but I suspect the answer is no.

cariad

[Princi]

This is only my third post so excuse any faux pas. This is a rather compelling topic on a couple of levels. As for the online Dommes who provide this service, I can not really see any reason to fault them (unless they are defrauding or outright stealing from their clients/customers.) It might just be that some submissives just want to experience this form of domination and have set aside a certain amount of money to do so, they might not be looking for any long term or deeper relationship (maybe its just curiosity, who knows?)

I believe that some false assumptions are implicit in the criticisms that have been lodged towards this service. For one, the necessity of a longer term, deep commitment; it might be that everybody here is seeking such a type of relationship, but that might not be the desire of the client/customer base of these online Dommes. Another assumption is that the individuals purchasing the service are being defrauded somehow, this can only be established if we know for certainty that all these online Dommes are misrepresenting their intentions. I checked out two of these sites out of curiosity (and I recall seeing one in the past) and the services were pretty straight forward, "you are paying me to use you!" If this is the service that is being purchased, then what is the issue? I understand that many might not like this type of interaction, but we are not the arbiters of others tastes and desires. We can not assume that we understand the ends that other individuals seek, which I think is a third false assumption (not just in this regard, but outside of the context of this discussion, this is one of the most prevalent biases that humanity has.) Our own ends are not necessarily the ends of our neighbors.

It strikes me as odd that the thread on bestiality was received with much more of an open mind than this financial domination thread was. I will argue the reason people were more open minded about the bestiality discussion is because no one discussed an exchange of money. Some how, because money is exchanged, these financial domination services are seen as exploitative. I generally disagree with such assessments, and I disagree with that assessment in this regard. So what if these individuals are prostituting themselves, it's their choice and it is a voluntary one. If this community operates under the assumption that consensual, voluntary acts and relationships are perfectly legitimate how can members of this community condemn a consensual relationship that they do not understand (and may find distasteful) without undermining their belief of consensual relationships?

My apologies for the long post (my intent is not to dominate [no pun intended] the discussion or offend anyone.) If I have misinterpreted the arguments being made, I apologize. I felt I had to say something because I have sense that our society today is becoming increasingly intolerant, especially when it comes to issues concerning the exchange of goods and services for money. I would hope that is not what is occurring in this situation.

Regards,
Princi

[Hime]

Selling your body and your services in any way could be labeled as prostitution if you're in the mood for it, (like going to a normal job we'd rather not do). But if the slave gives freely to the Master/Misstress and there is no service or negotiated number, than that can impossibly be called prostitution.


Yeah, let's not go down the road that some countries have, where *nurses* have been the victims of sexual assaults based on the justification that they touch men as part of their job, therefore they must be prostitutes (don't get me started on the idea that "it's not rape if she's a prostitute"). A prostitute is someone who has sex for money, period.

And also, wtf is with the idea that anyone can *expect* sex out of a relationship with a person they may not have even met? Pro, amateur, sub, dom, whatever, everyone has the right to hold out on sex until they feel ready, or completely avoid it if they aren't comfortable with the situation. IMHO there isn't anything wrong with stating upfront that one isn't offering sex, especially if the person in question is a Domme and has the kind of in-your-face style that tends to be associate with them.

I guess all in all, I really don't quite understand what makes this so offensive to people. Most of us have paid for porn, and plenty have paid for phone sex, strip shows, etc. Guys say that they hate to see women making money off of good looks and little talent, but they continue to spend their money on Maxim and pay $10.00 for an overcooked burger at Hooters. Do you think that those girls should offer their services pro bono?

Honestly, looking good is a lot of work. I have spent some time in the performing arts industry (non-sex-related), and you wouldn't believe how much time and effort goes into costuming, makeup, fitness, hair, skincare, to say nothing of technicalities like underwear that don't show and run-free hose. And that's not counting the time it takes for even a very attractive person, impeccably dressed and made-up, to do a decent photo shoot -- yes, even (insert your unattainable Hollywood crush here) has to pose for a whole lot of photos before getting one just right. If girls want to run websites to earn some money, they aren't just sitting on their pretty butts waiting for the cash to roll in, they are actively competing in a saturated market to get noticed and provide a product that, face it, people want.

Not your thing, fine. Not my thing, either (although I have thought idly about starting a pin-up website, I'm not a Domme and not interested in being trailed around online by needy guys). But I really can't stand the attitude that women should be strong and dominant... as long as they don't feel entitled to anything, or expect men to actually respect them, or...

[_ID_]

Princi - I am glad you posted. It's refreshing to see someone write how they feel, rather than just jumping on the bandwagon of what everyone else says.

I don't care if anyone else disagrees with me, but I always give their view some consideration, because, what if my view is the wrong one.

Now as far as how you view it, there are some things about BDSM that must be considered when thinking about Domination. Yes, the pro sites are just that, pro. There shouldn't be any expectation that there would be a relationship of sorts. I don't care if its viewed as Dominant prostitution, so what, there are plenty of pro Dom/mes out there.

What I do have issue with is in BDSM there is an exchange of power, even in this financial arena. As such there is also going to be a need for care of the submissive. I believe it becomes neglect when these pro dommes have a submissive that seems to think this domme actually gives a shit about them, actually 'gifts' them money. Now if the relationship is similar to other pro domme services (pay to get your ass welted, zero aftercare) and the submissive is aware of this going in. Then I have no issues. However, I have seen it where it wasn't that way, and I was rather displeased that it was seen as BDSM.

[cariad]

This is only my third post so excuse any faux pas.

Thank you taking the plunge Princi, and we look forward to many more of your posts.


My apologies for the long post (my intent is not to dominate [no pun intended] the discussion or offend anyone.) If I have misinterpreted the arguments being made, I apologize. I felt I had to say something because I have sense that our society today is becoming increasingly intolerant, especially when it comes to issues concerning the exchange of goods and services for money. I would hope that is not what is occurring in this situation.

Please do not apologise for an eloquent expression of a sincere view.

Your post challenged me as to why I was not more open in my opinion of this kind of domination. Apart from a gut feel that is simply wrong, I have spoken a few male subs here who have entered into such a relationship, or are considering doing so. In each case they have been earnestly seeking a relationship not a commercial arrangement.

I have copied below a letter which one of these male subs forwarded to me, with identification carefully removed. To me it is clear that the Mistress concerned is thinking commercially - "No gift means no further correspondence but a generous gift and things could flourish", but is doing so with the promise of the relationship which my friend was seeking. Had my friend replied to this letter, containing the 'gift' requested, I am quite sure that the additional information which he provided would have been used to extract further payments from him; "You will then be easier to manipulate"

From my perspective Domination, whether within a relationship or a commercial agreement, is never manipulative.

To my way of thinking, if you accept the principle of financial domination being acceptable within a relationship, then the relationship should come before the financial part. If it is purely a commercial arrangement, then it should not be disguised as a relationship.

cariad


slave

First of all my name is, Mistress xxx. You replied to the advert that I placed. The advert is looking for a submissive male. Let me tell you a bit about me. I am a recently single, attractive lifestyle Dominatrix. I have a job and live in my own place. I am single and looking for a relationship not clients.

I live a conventional life but outside of that I love to become the dominant one in a relationship. I have been to fetish clubs before but I am not really an exhibitionist. Private parties are ok if you know the right groups. As far as looks go I am slim ,elegant and attractive. You will not be disappointed when you see me and that is all that you need to know right now. I have a picture with my advert in case you missed it. For the moment I will only let you call me Mistress xxx.

I have all of the right clothes, shoes etc, a very full wardrobe. I am looking for someone to have a very good relationship with both in femdom and in vanilla. I am trying you as your reply was quite good and you seemed genuine but I realise not much can be said in an introduction.

I am looking for a long term relationship rather than a casual one. If you are still around and you want to become my boyfriend/slave then you will need to send me a respectable begging response. Tell me more about yourself and your submissive fantasies, briefly for now. I want to know what you think about and what your fantasies are. It gives me a great deal of power and control over you. I can tease, deny or grant you your desires for obedient behaviour. You will then be easier to manipulate and be even more submissive to me, the way I like it. Although you should have gathered that I don't want a complete wimp. Afterwards I will arrange for an interview.

An interview with a difference that is, crawling to me on your hands and knees is not the usual procedure for an important job, is it. You will of course do whatever I say won't you.. I am a very strict Mistress and I always expect to get my way. If you were to disobey me then I will hurt you in my own special way, if you were to deliberately disobey as I have seen some men do then I am not interested, that is not the point. You will have to wear a dogs collar when you come to my house which has my name on it and you will have to buy yourself a dog bowl. Expect to be tied up frequently as I do love bondage and seeing my slave helpless. I also like a responsive slave so remember that.

When you reply to me I will send you some photos of me (Aren't I nice). This will give you an idea of what I look like and you can then judge whether you feel capable and worthy of serving me. I can be evil and bitchy as well as your fantasy. This is your first test, I expect you to send some cash to cover the cost of the photos in case you get cold feet later. Why you say. Well if you can obey this most annoying of orders then it shows that you are for real and not a no hoper. I have come across insincere time wasters before who promise to do anything and be totally submissive but end up only doing what they want and wouldn't even buy a bottle of water if it wasn't for their own benefit. Believe me there are some incredibly selfish men out there who just play with themselves by their keyboards. If you find this order difficult then go and pay for a session and theres no need contacting me again.

I am looking for something on a longer term basis and something a lot deeper. I want a slave/boyfriend who is submissive but also not afraid or petty minded. I do not intend writing endless letters, you are either in or your out. Putting it another way if you are the type of man who panics, thinking they may lose some money in the post then you are not worth knowing anyway. Have I made myself clear. Use something registered if you are worried about sending money in the post.

I hope that I have not mistaken you, as you seemed genuine. Remember me being cruel turns you on and makes you even more submissive, I have seen it before in my old relationships and I know what to do. When you see my pictures you will want to get on your knees and crawl before me. I deserve to have a submissive at my feet and if you are fortunate enough you can serve me and become my slave. You will not escape from an evil bitch like me. We will have a relationship outside of SM as well, but for the beginning we will keep it like this until we meet. Hurry up as well, it has been some time and I think I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. So be quick slave.

Aren't I bitchy. Nearly forgot I will give you my address to write to xxx. Write to me here with a proper letter and enclose your gift for my photos. No gift means no further correspondence but a generous gift and things could flourish. Yes I am a bitch.
Mistress xxx

[ShadowyFox]

First of all, I apologize for the long time between responses to the thoughts that were provoked. I took them in, as I began to understand my personal philosophy on the topic.

I think I am finally beginning to understand my true interest in both the recreational and the truly d/s relationships. I define the recreational as those professionals who are paid for certain negotiated things, and the true d/s relationships as what is specifically outlined in most introductory material on the subject. The Master/Slave relationship that is personal and very protective.

The interest in the first is a bit on the narcissistic side. It could also be said that it is a matter of raising horribly low self-confidence. To give money just to speak to, to just have a picture of, or an online conversation with someone is so very intoxicating. Unhealthy, but so very intoxicating. I guess it's just a matter of not using that as an abusive method on someone who is addicted and who cannot safely manage their money. Discretion, discretion, discretion.

The true, real relationship is actually a matter of using my favorite thing of the Daddy/Dom, which allows me to give an "allowance" to a "little girl", or to pay a servant. To me, that makes absolute and perfect sense. It helps enhance the total experience, at least in my mind. Now, even if you have someone who does the accounts, I think that keeping that "tight ship" mentality still works. It allows a person to get accounts all in order, and keep a dom and his slave(s) relaxed and not worried.

[Timberwolf]

OK...here's my take on it. *deep breath* I'm in no way saying I condone anyone taking money from another for selfish reasons, but a fool and his money are soon parted. There's one born every minute. It all boils down to supply and demand. *leaves quickly*

I don't disagree with the statement, but the fact someone is exploitable doesn't excuse doing so. If that's what is going on - as I've said, I think financial domination, like most anything in D/s, has both its good and bad forms. The action isn't inherrently "wrong" on its own, it depends very much on how and why it is being used.