my journey

[John56{vg}]

Tessa,

More incredible words to live by, full of love, understanding and insight and courage.

You are the soul of our community here and you are cared for by those that you call friend.

~hugs~

John

[nk_lion]

Beautifully said tessa

Though I respectfully disagree with something you said


There can't be one without the other. Why, I ask in my fairytale frame of mind? Because (drum roll please) it's not!! Well, how about that. How long did it take me to figure that out that life ain't a freakin' fairytale? Umm, let's see...going on 20+ years now. Hmm, not so bad on the learning curve there, tessa. :rolleyes:


If you are thinking about the fairy tales of Enid Blighten or similar, then yeah, life isn't a fairy tale. But since when did we ever have unicorns, talking trees and fairies?

Maybe I look at it in a different way, or maybe I've just twisted a definition enough to match my view, but life is a fairy tale, or an adventure, or whatever you want to call it. To your child, you represent safety, love, care, to your husband, you are his queen, to people in this forum, you are a good friend ready to give advice always. Whether you don your dress gown or your soccer mom clothes, you are the same person. The financial responsibilities, the dog walking, the constant house cleaning and laundry are simply conquests and evil to destroy.

But in the end, the one common theme in any fairy tale is that the protagonist is happy, along with her loved ones, and if you achieve that in your life, then who is to say your life isn't a modern day adaptation of the Odyssey of your husband and you fighting all odds to share your common passion? Or the story of Romeo and Juliet without the angst? Or a real life and modern version of those fairy tales you read as a little girl?

[Flaming_Redhead]

Hrm....ever read the Grimm Brothers' fairy tales? I'm talking about the REAL fairy tales, not the kid-friendly Disney versions. Snow White's wicked step-mother actually tried to kill her a total of 4 times. There's no point to my rambling. I'm sick, damn it!

[caligirl{Rob}]

big warm hugs of appreciation of saying it so succinctly....as i too often tell Sir i come with a lot of baggage, to which He always replies No, you come with a lot of life! *smiles*

hugs!
cali

[John56{vg}]

RED: Yikes, when you read Grimms for real they are horror stories, yes. Also I read something awhile back that the "glass" slipper was a mistranslation and was actually fur slipper. ~hugs~

Caligirl: Wise words, he is a smart man. And you are a lovely lovely person.

[Rhabbi]

Hrm....ever read the Grimm Brothers' fairy tales? I'm talking about the REAL fairy tales, not the kid-friendly Disney versions. Snow White's wicked step-mother actually tried to kill her a total of 4 times. There's no point to my rambling. I'm sick, damn it!

I'm with Red here, fairy tales are scary enough to make you want a simple and regular life. They make some of the BDSM fantasies about snuff look tame.

[Flaming_Redhead]

RED: Yikes, when you read Grimms for real they are horror stories, yes. Also I read something awhile back that the "glass" slipper was a mistranslation and was actually fur slipper. ~hugs~

*ggls* A fur slipper wouldn't allow the prince to see that the first wicked step-sister had cut off her great toe and that the second had cut off a piece of her heel at the bidding of their mother who said they wouldn't have to walk anymore once they were queen. Justice was served, however, when neither of them married the prince, and both of them had their eyes plucked out by doves at the wedding. Now, that's my kinda fairy tale!!! LOL Tessa, I hope you're seriously rethinking the whole "fairy tale" life, unless you're such a masochist that you wish to be permanently maimed....

[tessa]

I was speaking of the pretty, Disney-type fairytales, of course. The ones where it always ends with "happily ever after..."

Yeah, that's for damn sure not the way it is. But it's real, so there is that.

I definitely was NOT speaking of those horrid little tales. ~shudders~ But if you want truly grim (as opposed to Grimm), check out Heinrich Hoffmann (http://www.fln.vcu.edu/struwwel/struwwel.html). Now that dude had issues. He wrote "cautionary" tales, about Pauline who played with matches and got all burnt up and about the little boy who had his thumbs cut off because he sucked them (yikes! scary to think about things that get sucked being cut off ~cringes~). AND he drew pictures to go with them. Nothing like tucking the little tyke in and reading the story with the pictures of the girl on fire and the boy with the bloody stumps where thumbs used to be. :eek:

Hey, Red? Define "permanently maimed" and I might have an answer for you.
Well, don't do it now, but when you're feeling better. ~hugs~

Rhabbi, being compared to Mishka in any way is a beautiful thing. Thank you for that.

Louise, I love that quote. Love you, too. :)

John, you're a true darling. ~huggles~

NK, your words make me think. I appreciate them so much. ~hugs the hottie~

D-lish, you're a doll. I'm hugging you 'cause your just that sweet!

cali, all the happiness to you and Master Rob. :)

:wave:

[Dorkalicious]

Yay! I like hugs, hehe

[jeanne]

Life is about real joys, real heartaches, real everything. And you know, the fantasy fits right in there if you make a place for it.



Then it gets to become part of the real.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, tessa!

:)

[MajesticFae]

I love your "Life is no fairytale" post. It really hits home for me. Or, as the noble Forrest Gump put it... "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." It's all about the reality and what goes on it. However, it's nice to live in fantasy occasionally. *giggles*




~takes off my glamorously pretty Subbie-rella gown and dons my soccer-mom clothes...puts the glass...erm, slipper, yeah, slippers away and finds the flip-flops~



Mmmhmm... Slipper, right. I'm thinking it was a glass dildo.


And yes. Real fairy tales are scary as crap, but that's no big deal... that's why we got Disney to sugarcoat them and fluff them up and make them happyish.

[pixie_dust]

You're exactly right, dear tessa. Life is what we all make of it, and to complain and do nothing, will get us zip.

In our home, we can relate so well on how difficult it is to find time for anything other than the day to day demands of just "doing what needs to be done". He typically works 50 to 60 hours, and after working my 40, I take care of the home, pets, and try to find time to get extra things done. So, yea, it really sucks some times.

My solution, is to try to view it this way... When we do find time for each other in any form, it becomes much more meaningful and special and I appreciate his actions and efforts that much more. (So there are our happy endings.)

Now, sweet thing, get that princess gown off, keep the soccer mom outfit off, and get over here and join d'lish and I for some tasty licks!!

*nuzzles into d'lish for another lick*

[tessa]

"And sometimes, when grandparent's live really close, they lived happily ever after...erm, well, for an hour and a half or so."

:D

Fae!! Glass dildo?? Well, I never! :dont:

Silicone, rubber, plastic maybe, but not glass. Yet. :p

So, pixie, you wise and sexy fairytale of a woman, you said it all just the way it needed to be said. I always get so much from your words. (Your licks do a lot for me too!) :bigkiss:

jeanne, the real fairytales are the best, aren't they? And if anyone isn't all the way sure about that, read this one (http://http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/bluebeard/index.html). Talk about Prince Not-So-Charming...:eek:

~hugs~
tessa :wave:

[nk_lion]

[B][I][COLOR="Cyan"]"
Fae!! Glass dildo?? Well, I never! :dont:


Sure...

[tessa]

Sure...



Silicone, rubber, plastic maybe, but not glass. Yet. :p



So there! :p

[nk_lion]

So there! :p

Oh I believe you.

*roll eyes* at something else

[Dorkalicious]

Hmm, glass.... They look scary o.o

[suchaminx]

tessa -~hugs~

Just caught up on reading your thread - you always make me smile :)

It is so easy to see by reading your words - how far you have come and how much you are helping others by continuing to share - thank you ~great big hugs~

and fairy tale or not, one thing is true - life is most definitely what you make it!

love and hugs

minxy xxx

[MajesticFae]

*giggles* I'm sure you'll get a glass one eventually, I've seen some very pretty ones. Although, I wouldn't try to ever make it out to be a "glass slipper" I'm not so sure it would work on your food. Well, it might make you slip and fall down...were you to step on the damn thing.

[tessa]

and fairy tale or not, one thing is true - life is most definitely what you make it!


Wisdom looks so very pretty on you, minxy. :)

~hugs~

[Dorkalicious]

*peeks in....wanders about.....takes a random tickle attack on tessa* Hehehehe

[tessa]

*peeks in....wanders about.....takes a random tickle attack on tessa* Hehehehe

Woohoo! A D-lish tickle attack!! What a way to do random, girlie. :D

Well, sometimes big deals happen with the utterance of a few words.

DD and I were having a conversation last week. About sex. A really good topic for discussion. I highly recommend it. Anyway, we were just talking about this and that when he said, "if sex doesn't have that BDSM edge, I guess I'm just not as satisfied with it as much as I used to be. Not that I'd turn down the other kind of sex. I'd just prefer it to be the freak kind."

Yeah, my cheering section went wild, too. :cheerlead

Baby steps seem to be working just fine in this case. :)

Now if I can just manage to find a way to be patient enough to wait for "more". That's the battle raging away now.

tessa :wave:

[jeanne]

Well, sometimes big deals happen with the utterance of a few words.

DD and I were having a conversation last week. About sex. A really good topic for discussion. I highly recommend it. Anyway, we were just talking about this and that when he said, "if sex doesn't have that BDSM edge, I guess I'm just not as satisfied with it as much as I used to be. Not that I'd turn down the other kind of sex. I'd just prefer it to be the freak kind."

Yeah, my cheering section went wild, too. :cheerlead

Baby steps seem to be working just fine in this case. :)

Now if I can just manage to find a way to be patient enough to wait for "more". That's the battle raging away now.

tessa :wave:

Oh, my gosh! Are we living twin lives separated by distance or what?

[John56{vg}]

Awwww. You two warm my heart.

I love you two sexy sultry intelligent beautiful subbish-like human beings. And I am sooo happy for you Tessa my darling.

And for you too bonnie Jeanne.

And inhonor of the moment I an retiring my fainting Helmet. I don't faint anymore I just roll my eyes and go goofy. ~wink~

~huggles you both alll up~

With much love,

John

[jeanne]

John, you are just too cute! And I'm so glad you've gotten your fainting under control - now you won't miss out on all the fun!

[MajesticFae]

That's awesome, tessa. I'm glad he's realizing how much fun kink and freaky sex is. I love normal sex probably because I don't have bdsm sex often at all. I still go for the rough kinds of normal vanilla sex though, with the hair pull, scratching and occasional bum smacking. Yum!

[moptop]

Ahhhh - slowly but surely, Tessa, you evil, evil woman, you are perverting the poor innocent defenceless DD...

Now, if you could only get him onto CR...

[pixie_dust]

*claps hands and jumps up and down doing a happy dance*

Yippeeeeee!!!!

Oh, and if I may suggest, if you want more.... perhaps a little "on your knees" begging might work. It just may add a little inspiration.

[tessa]

Oh, I just love all you wonderful souls! ~gets a Kleenex and dabs at the happy tears~

jeanne, since you're understanding just how that conversation went, did you just about fall over or what?!!? I couldn't believe my ears. How about you? ~hugs my twin~ :)

Yay, John! Like jeanne said, no more missing the naked, dancing subbies! ;)

Um, Fae? That's some pretty damn erotic stuff happening during your sex. Love the detals! Not much vanilla there. Woohoo! :D

moptop, me evil??? Now where did you get that idea?? Maybe I've just been reading your posts and learning a hell of a lot. ;) And no CR for me.

~dances the happy subbie dance with the pretty pixie~ I will be trying your suggestion out ASAP! It's all about more. That's what I truly want. Thanks, darling pixie! ~huggles~

[MajesticFae]

*giggles* I'm glad you liked the little bitty details. I could give you even more little bitty details, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get you up from the puddle you melted into.

[tessa]

*giggles* I'm glad you liked the little bitty details. I could give you even more little bitty details, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to get you up from the puddle you melted into.

You might not be able to get me up, but I bet you could lick me up. ;)

Oh my, that was naughty,wasn't it?? :o

:wave:

[Dorkalicious]

Random is my middle name dear ;)

[jeanne]

jeanne, since you're understanding just how that conversation went, did you just about fall over or what?!!? I couldn't believe my ears. How about you? ~hugs my twin~ :)



Yes, we've had several of those conversations very recently that I walked away from saying "holy sh**, I'm getting what I want here and he actually brought it up" and then got a little chill down my spine - you know, that delicious, slightly fearful shiver that says "okay, now can you really handle it?"

He just shocks the crap out of me sometimes - sounds the same for you. Oh, and the whole "you are here to serve me and only me, whether you get off on it or not" dynamic that he didn't seem to be feeling? Well, he's feeling it all right and I have now gone 5 days without, while he's pretty damn happy. Actually, I'm feeling pretty damn happy too... hooray for husbands that are willing to explore their own dark corners! :cool:

When I read your post, I just yelled out loud, in my empty house, with no one around... "Oh my God!!" and burst out laughing! No, no mental illness in my family, I swear - we just call Southern women who talk to themselves "eccentric" or "touched" - actually "tetched" but figured I'd better spell it correctly so everyone else knew what I was talking about - I know you do, tessa. :)

*a big hug just for you*
jeanne

[tessa]

Yes, we've had several of those conversations very recently that I walked away from saying "holy sh**, I'm getting what I want here and he actually brought it up" and then got a little chill down my spine - you know, that delicious, slightly fearful shiver that says "okay, now can you really handle it?"
:eek: That's incredible! You just wrote out everything I've thought and felt!!


He just shocks the crap out of me sometimes - sounds the same for you. hooray for husbands that are willing to explore their own dark corners!
WOOHOO for those dark corners!!


When I read your post, I just yelled out loud, in my empty house, with no one around... "Oh my God!!" and burst out laughing! No, no mental illness in my family, I swear - we just call Southern women who talk to themselves "eccentric" or "touched" - actually "tetched" but figured I'd better spell it correctly so everyone else knew what I was talking about - I know you do, tessa. :)
I just did the same thing reading your post,'cept I wasn't alone and my little one is saying, "are you okay, Mommy?" I know just what you're talking about, jeanne. ~winks~ My Grandma called it being "a bit affected by the spirit". ~giggles~ I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to spell out "affected" in the Southern way...hmm, let me try- "uh-fayk-tid" - Hey! I think that's it! :)

~hugs~
:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

I just did the same thing reading your post, /talked loud to herself/ 'cept I wasn't alone and my little one is saying, "are you okay, Mommy?" I know just what you're talking about, jeanne. ~winks~



It's sorta noticeable you don't live in a city where lots of people are walking around with handsfree corded (invisinble) cell phones. ;) Over here, i see people every day "talking to themselves" in the street, on the train, even in the grocery store. Sometimes just chatting, sometimes saying things so outrageous you really wish they'd have waited till they got home - or just smiling at it. And yes, the no-no on talking to yourself in public used to be as strong here as it is in the States, or even stronger...

[John56{vg}]

I remember waiting at a traffic light on Market Street in San Francisco. Several people passed by us, but one gentleman would walk into the intersection and then turn and yell at nobody there behind him. He was having a heated argument withhis imaginary friend.

I tuened to my ex-wife and told her, "It is just a really bad day, when your imaginary friends turn against you."

Have a great day everyone.

[MajesticFae]

It drives me nuts when people are using hands free devices because I can never tell if they're talking to me or the person on the phone... but I still want one.


And yes, oh lovely tessa, We're 'tetched' and we're often uppity and suffer from the vapors.

[Flaming_Redhead]

*giggles hysterically* Tessa, I'm imagining you... *snickers* I'm sorry. I read too much. hahahahahahahahaha Ok, so I'm not sorry! It's funny as hell...or this damn rootbeer...

"Please, sir, I want some more."
"What!" said the master at length, in a faint voice.
"Please, sir," replied Tessa, "I want some more."

I hope the master doesn't offer a reward of 5 pounds to anybody who will take Tessa off his hands. *giggles*

[tessa]

*giggles hysterically* Tessa, I'm imagining you... *snickers* I'm sorry. I read too much. hahahahahahahahaha Ok, so I'm not sorry! It's funny as hell...or this damn rootbeer...

"Please, sir, I want some more."
"What!" said the master at length, in a faint voice.
"Please, sir," replied Tessa, "I want some more."

I hope the master doesn't offer a reward of 5 pounds to anybody who will take Tessa off his hands. *giggles*

Ha.......Ha. Aren't you just too damn cute. :32:

~giggles~ I love that line! I say it ALL the time, with the accent and everything!

5 pounds?? *pffffffffttttt* That medicine has "uh-fayk-ted" your brain, sweetie. It'd take a bigger reward offer than that for someone to be willing to take me off anything...hands or what have you. :p

[Rabbit1]

I am glad things worked out for you love ----and yes I have been keeping track of your progress ----I am pleased you are finding your way in the lifestyle ---and glad your husband could be your dom ----it is so sad that many spouses think the lifestyle is dirty ---kinky ----and will not even talk about it with their partner ----But I have always said be open and honest with your mate ----and if they can not listen and help provide what you need in your life ---maybe you made a mistake in choosing your mate ---life is too short to be unhappy ----and I have seen a few marriages fall apart because one of the partners was unwilling to try or even educate themselves about what their partner wanted or needed ----

Hugs

[tessa]

Mr. Rabbit, I know how busy you are (so very, very busy). That you took the time to add your insights here have touched me deeply. So much so that I need a moment to go get a tissue so I can see through the tears to type the rest of what I want to say.

~deep breath~ Ok, enough of that girl stuff. When I found this wonderful community, you were so generous and helpful to me. Being "open and honest" in my communication was one of the first pieces of advice you gave me. One of the best as it turned out. Why I didn't believe this could be a part of my life is still a mystery to me. But you, and some other truly special souls here, have helped and guided me along this journey I knew I needed to take. For all of it, for who you are to me, my most sincere gratitude.

And now I need another kleenex. So much for enough of the girl stuff...

:wave:

[tessa]

I just read through this again after a good bit of time. Almost a year?!? Wow. Seriously...wow.

Reading Jim's post made me cry and cry. But in a good way. I'm so glad I listened to him and approached my husband in the first place. This journey has been NOTHING like I expected, but wonderful nonetheless. Thanks Mr. Rabbit. ~sends him a kiss in heaven~

All the responses I had saying, "be patient", "this takes time", well to be honest, a year ago, they just pissed me off. But I was stupid then. Now I know better.

See? Blondes aren't so dumb after all. :p

Communication. If there was one word I can use to sum up the key to all this, that would be it. Open, honest, from the heart, don't care if it hurts your feelings a little right now because it needs to be said, Communication. I can't say it boldly or more colorfully than that. The effectiveness of it will make or break the relationship. If I hold back in being open, he holds back the same. He holds back and keeps to himself, so do I. But when we both stop filtering and speak our hearts and minds, it works. And very well. Please try it sometime for yourself and see. :)

One thing I've come to know as a major truth- he really can't read my mind. :eek: And dammit. :32: That would make life so much simpler. But here's another truth- I can't read his either. And he kinda thought I could. It's made for a few rough patches along the way. So to all of you trying this out, remember- NO ONE, not even the most perfectly insightful Dominant, nor the most wonderfully intuitive submissive, can read minds. It eliminates a lot of the anger and resentment when you realize this truth for yourself. You stop placing unrealistic expectations on the other when you know the reading another's mind is a fallacy created in sickeningly sweet fairy tales. Say what you're thinking or the other won't know. Period.

Another thing I just have to say. It is impossible to know where this journey will go from here. I've stopped trying to plan it out as that's pretty much impossible as well. It follows it's own path, meandering here and there sometimes, and at other times blazing a trail you never imagined could exist. And watch out for those rocky edges as you go. They can be difficult to navigate and a bitch to climb back up if you go over.

Basically, what I've learned since getting into this is...(drum roll please)...I know nothing. Not one single thing.

But I'm learning. And I'll keep learning. Because I want to. Because I need to.

And because you can't buy this kind of high. I'm completely addicted.

The BDSM addicted Subbierella. Now that's a tale ~giggles~ I could sink my teeth into. And claws. Can't forget those. ;)

:wave:

[suchaminx]

tessa

WOW I can't believe it has been a year either.

I am sure your honesty and openess in this thread has not only helped you but been an inspiration to others.

I know that I am better person for knowing you and have learnt from you.......yes really!!

Thank you for being you, for caring and for the messages and hugs when I needed them most

love and hugs minxy xx

[Aussiegirl1]

I think it is great you have made it a year! I know how long a year can be in a BDSM journey, and how much can happen in that time!

I am so very pleased you are happy but more pleased that this year has allowed you and your husband to communicate and find out so much more about each other. I fully agree, COMMUNICATION is the key, without it everything just falls in a heap.

Hugs to you honey and I hope the next year is even better!

[Logic1]

sounds like great revelations for a year and I sure hope that the next year will be even better :)

[tessa]

~hugs minxy~ You were elemental in all this as well. Yes, really! ~smiles~ You know I love you all up. :)

~gropes all over AG and hopes Warbaby is watching~ I agree with you on that heap thing. Without the big 'C', it all falls apart. And without the big 'C', there's no big 'O'- let's not forget that. ;)

And thanks, Logic! What a sweetie you are to wish me the best. I know only this...the next year is guaranteed to bring the unexpectedly expected. Or maybe that's the other way around. I've been lusting all over your avatar and I'm distracted. :p

:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

*leans over and kisses Tessa behind the ear* hey girl, 'aven't heard that much from you in the last few weeks. I'm happy you're still here, you know.

[tessa]

*leans over and kisses Tessa behind the ear* hey girl, 'aven't heard that much from you in the last few weeks. I'm happy you're still here, you know.

~turns and huggles Louise~ And I'm so glad to see you. You've been missed.

Life has grabbed me in a big way. It's shaking me all around and doesn't want to turn loose. But...one day.

:wave:

[Playfulsub]

I'm glad you posted an update; it brought this thread to the top so I could see it. I'm in the same boat you were in a year ago, and I'm very happy to have your journey to read.

Thanks for sharing!

[tessa]

playful, congratulations with your journey. Hopefully we can hear from you about yours? We can always benefit from other's perspectives.

My best to you-
tessa :wave:

[Isabelle90]

:bump:

This is one of my favorite threads to read! It's full of great information for everyone, and is written with such wit and wisdom!!

[tessa]

I know nothing about great information and wisdom. But wit, well, I got plenty of that. Too bad it's underutilized. The things I could do with this wit. ~sighs dramatically~

Anyone wanna overutilize it? :rolleyes:

Thanks, Isabelle, for being so kind. :)

tessa :wave:

[Ozme52]

A worthy challenge tessa.

What's an overutilized wit going for these day? I'm sure I have not half its true value.

[MajesticFae]

*runs is and gives tessa a few peeks*

You're beautiful doll, and I'm so proud of you and happy for you and that your journey is going well!

[Echoes]

I have been reading your journey, and come back to try and catch up and yes you do give inspiration.
As of right now I am talking with a Dominant, we have been talking for the last week with no rush what so ever
*holding breath* and so far everything seems to be going smoothly and wonderfully.

Thank you for all your insight, inspiration, laughter, sharing your journey for it has taught, touched and moved each one of us.
~hugs~

echoes

[tessa]

A worthy challenge tessa.
Not so worthy. Mostly hopful, though. :)


What's an overutilized wit going for these day? I'm sure I have not half its true value.

Overutilized (and truly spectacular) wit is going for a certain Wizard these days, I hear. ~looks over at jeanne and smiles~

Oz, Oh Great Purveyor of Wit and Wisdom, I am quite sure that you have every bit it's true value...and then some. Loads and loads of "then some". ;)

~hyperventilates over Fae's peeks~ It's been too long since I had a does of you! ~hugs and hugs~ And this journey is going...not sure where, but it's on it's way.

Echoes!! Hello to you! Yes, I saw your baby steps, and am right here with you, waiting. Let's hold hands while we wait, shall we? It'll hide the trembling, at least. :o

:wave:

[Echoes]

Echoes!! Hello to you! Yes, I saw your baby steps, and am right here with you, waiting. Let's hold hands while we wait, shall we? It'll hide the trembling, at least. :o
:wave:

Hi tesse! oh yes please! my heart was beating so hard it hurt. I manage to slow it down by keeping busy as I won't hear back from him at least until tonight, if not ***GASP*** Monday night.

Thank you for holding my hand and understanding the...trembling wait
~hugs~

[Ozme52]

Oz, Oh Great Purveyor of Wit and Wisdom, I am quite sure that you have every bit it's true value...and then some. Loads and loads of "then some". ;)


Perhaps an opportunity to 'share' will come your way. :blurp_ani

[tessa]

~keeps hold of Echoes hand~ Yay for good news!


Perhaps an opportunity to 'share' will come your way. :blurp_ani
~has to giggle~ From your "mouth" to the, umm...Wizard's ear?? :blurp_ani

:wave: